Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
God taught me the truth of this verse in a way I never would have anticipated, and will never forget.
I was in prayer. I don’t remember what I was praying about, but considering the lesson He gave me, I was probably complaining about not being able to see what was coming down the road. I’m not proud of the fact, but it’s true – I am Tammy Plan-ahead Cardwell and not being able to see what’s over the next hill has been known to drive me nuts.
So there I was, pacing, which I often do when I pray, and God answered me. “Tammy, you don’t have to see the road ahead. You don’t even have to see the next step. I see it all clearly. Trust in Me instead of your own sight, lean on Me instead of your own understanding and I will make your path straight even when you walk in darkness.”
My response was, of course, both brilliant and inspired. “Sir?” Thank God for His patience!
Have you ever felt God smile? I did, then. I could easily sense His loving, understanding amusement. “Close your eyes and walk.”
Now, it’s a scientific fact that one side of a man’s body is dominant over the other. Close your eyes and start walking and, given enough space, you will walk in a circle. I was in our church and didn’t have that much space; I veered and walked into a pew.
“Okay,” He said, “you’ve seen what happens when you walk in your own understanding. Now close your eyes and walk again, but this time listen to Me as you take each step. If you let Me lead you, putting your feet down where I tell you to, I will make your path straight.”
I followed His instructions exactly, though it felt terribly strange. In putting my feet down exactly as He told me to I felt as if I were taking each step wrongly – very wrongly. I had to fight my instincts, literally, every step of the way. He eventually told me to stop and look behind me, to see the path I’d taken. I had gone further this time – taken more steps – and the path I’d walked was as straight as if I’d had my eyes open and a line to follow.
I wish I could say I learned the lesson right then and there. Well, I did, but it seems I have to keep learning it. Just as I had to fight my instincts with every step I took in that walk, I must fight my fleshly instincts with every step in the walk of life. Sometimes it’s hard to trust in the Lord will all my heart, not letting even a small part of it hold back. I must continually remind myself that my own understanding is faulty and can’t be leaned upon – that it will lead me to walk in circles (like the Israelites in the wilderness!). Finally, flesh fights for what it considers its fair share, insisting I acknowledge it in all my ways, rather than Him. Still, I’m making progress, and every once in a while I’ll sense God smile as He says, “Now stop and take a look behind you, and see that I have made your path straight.”
So…no…I do not have to see the road ahead. I can even, as I trust in Him with all my heart, lean not on my own understanding and acknowledge Him in all my ways, walk a straight path through total darkness.