The Butterfly that Was Two Butterflies

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment
Blog cover featuring a Blue Morpho butterfly with closed camouflage wings and open iridescent blue wings beneath the title "The Butterfly That Was Two Butterflies."

“Tammy. Take a picture!”

The words were urgent, but also softly spoken.

I turned and saw a huge butterfly resting on my sister’s arm. It had mistaken her colorful tattooed cuff for a flower and, once it settled, was in no hurry to leave. In fact, it stayed on her long enough for pretty much everyone in our tour group to take pictures.

This specimen was both beautiful and fascinating. It seemed perfectly designed for camouflage. Its colors and the shape of its wings would have made it disappear completely up against a tree or leaf-strewn forest floor. And then there were the spots that looked very much like eyes; other animals could easily have mistaken it for a predator instead of prey.

I wondered if that was part of why it stayed so long. It instinctively knew it had nothing to fear. In a sense, it was hidden in plain sight.

It makes me think of us and how our lives are hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3) When we are right with God, we are in a sense wearing a type of spiritual camouflage. The devil may see us, but he also sees the One who watches over us. That knowledge can give us the same type of confidence that butterfly had.

We saw many beautiful butterflies at the butterfly conservatory that day, and we took our fair share of pictures. But there was one butterfly that proved most elusive. There were plenty of specimens there, but we only saw them in flight, and they seemed able to disappear without warning. We got only one picture, and it’s not the best.

Blue Morpho butterfly with iridescent blue wings displaying shifting shades of sapphire and teal.

Its wings flashed the most astonishing shades of blue, shades that changed as it moved. What you see here is a true representation of its coloring. The left wing wasn’t just in shadow and the right in the sun; its colors were literally shifting as it moved—which it did constantly.

I set my heart on following one until it landed for more than a split second so I could get a photo. After much wandering and a great deal of patience, I finally got my wish. One of these glorious creatures settled onto a branch right in front of me.

And suddenly I was laughing so I couldn’t have taken a photo if its wings had stayed open and still long enough.

Because, you see, the instant it landed it closed its wings.

And it was the very same butterfly that had landed on my sister’s arm.

Blue Morpho butterfly resting on a woman's hand with its wings closed, revealing brown camouflage and large owl-like eyespots.

There are so many spiritual lessons wrapped up in that one discovery that I hardly know where to begin.

When this Blue Morpho rested on my sister’s arm, it was the same brilliantly blue butterfly it had been only moments before. Nothing had changed. The blue hadn’t disappeared; it was simply hidden from view. Its beauty remained hidden until it took flight.

The science of this butterfly’s coloring is particularly fascinating. According to scientists, the blue isn’t pigment at all. Millions of microscopic structures on its wings reflect blue light and cancel out the other colors. That’s why this one was caught flashing from a deep sapphire in the left wing to a brilliant teal in the right.

Every detail of this butterfly speaks of an unimaginably creative Designer.

God took so much care to clothe this one butterfly in kingly colors at the same time He graced it with an almost perfect camouflage!

And why worry about your clothing?
Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow.
They don’t work or make their clothing,
yet Solomon in all his glory
was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers
that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow,
he will certainly care for you.
Why do you have so little faith?

Matthew 6:28-30 NLT

And if God cares so wonderfully for the Blue Morpho…

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

When Ministry Leaves the Building

Tammy M Cardwell2 Comments
Pastor placing a comforting hand on a woman's shoulder during a football game, illustrating how ministry happens beyond the church building.

The game was on—fast and furious.
The crowd was cheering for family and friends.
And there I sat…
            sick, miserable, and wanting my bed.

I hid it to the best of my ability, but at some point my pastor walked by and asked if I were doing all right.

I lied.
I assured him I was.

A while later he passed by again, watching me, and asked if I were ok.
Yep. Lied again.
Call it speaking in faith if you want to, but I was flat out lying and we both knew it.

The third time, instead of passing me, he stopped. He put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and asked something like, “Isn’t it great to be healed, whole, and serving God?!”

In that instant, I was healed, completely healed, and a joyful, “Yes!” came out of my mouth.

And he grinned and walked on.

I went from enduring that event to enjoying it because one man was ready in season and out of season—prepared to care for a member of his flock at a sporting event—and stubborn enough to keep coming back until I was ready to receive.

We’ve all heard the latter part of Mark 16:18 (KJV)
… they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

So we understand that God can heal people through the laying on of hands. That is exactly what happened here, even though I had no idea in those first few moments that this was precisely what his touch on my shoulder was all about.

We weren’t in church.
I didn’t go to an altar and ask for prayer.
He didn’t have me stand to be prayed for.
He didn’t ask someone else to join him to pray for me.
He didn’t pray for me at all, or not when he was around me.

We were very much in public, but this was a private interaction. Only the two of us had a clue what happened in that ten seconds, and neither of us mentioned it again…unless at some point I thought to tell him how much I had appreciated him listening to the Holy Spirit and continuing to reach out.

But I have never forgotten that day. More than once, I’ve cried as I remembered how my pastor, Pastor Ronnie, cared about me enough to go the extra mile. His seat was rows in front of mine. From a human perspective there was no reason for him to walk past me three separate times. But the Holy Spirit had given him a reason, a nudge; He must have. Pastor Ronnie saw a need, responded to God’s prompting, and didn’t give up on me before I was ready to receive.

And I, as a result, was not only healed in that moment, but learned the type of lesson that lasts a lifetime.

We are all called to minister this way,
ready when the Holy Spirit points out a need,
in season and out of season (2 Timothy 4:2 NLT).
Wherever. Whenever. However. And for however long.

As was true that day, ministry opportunities won’t always look like we might expect them to. They may require us to get out of line at the fast-food restaurant (That would be me!) or visit a hospital when hospitals are the last place on earth we want to be. They may mean reaching out to someone who despises us or risking a relationship by saying what a friend doesn’t want to hear. We must stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit so we don’t miss His promptings.

This is what ministry looks like after it leaves the building.

It usually won’t happen inside the church building.
The other person may not be ready to receive the first time we reach out. 
We may need to persist, even when it feels awkward or uncomfortable.

But when we get it right… oh, when we get it right as Pastor Ronnie did that day… the miracle may go far beyond meeting an immediate need. It may change a life forever.

Because when ministry leaves the building, lives are changed.

I know.

Mine was.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

If God Isn’t His #1, He Doesn’t Qualify to Be My #2

Tammy M Cardwell2 Comments
Christian woman with an open Bible enjoying a peaceful sunrise, representing God-centered priorities and biblical dating standards.

I’ve been thinking about dating lately. Yes, about the possibility of me dating, but also about dating in general and what dating is and should be for the modern Christian.

What prompted this post?
I’m glad you asked.

A single friend told me that she’s had multiple presumably Christian men, some of whom she’s gone to church with for years, who at one point and another decided it was appropriate to slide into her DMs and invite her to their places for sex.

She’s not the first to tell me such stories. Another friend and I also had a conversation about having men who claim to be Christians fully expect her to go back home with them at the end of the evening.

This article isn’t going to be about sex.
I promise.

But in case you’re on the fence where sex and the Christian are concerned, let’s look at the Word for clarification.

Run from sexual sin!
No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does.
For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.
Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,
who lives in you and was given to you by God?
You do not belong to yourself,
for God bought you with a high price.
So you must honor God with your body.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NLT)

That’s about as clear as you can get, but here are a few more.
Hebrews 13:4
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
Ephesians 5:3
Matthew 5:27-28

Like I said, it was the conversations about men claiming to be Christians while also encouraging women to sin that prompted me to write the article, but it’s not the point of the article.

In case you’re unfamiliar with my story, I spent decades married to an abusive narcissist who passed a few years ago. I’ve lived with the consequences of being married to a man who wasn’t on the same page I was, who clearly wasn’t right with God even though he was a declared Christian.

I have no intention of going there again.

I am, however, willing to marry again if that’s God’s plan for me, and He seems to be saying it is. So, dating with a purpose is now under serious consideration.

And I do mean dating with a purpose. I know people date all the time for many reasons, some good and some bad, but for me the only reason to date is to explore the potential for marriage.

With that in mind, I’ve put serious thought into what it would take for me to even accept a date. I told one friend that I was only open to potential matchmaking if he knew both of us well enough that he could assure me he felt we would be good together. Thankfully, he’s the type of man that totally gets it.

I work hard at becoming the type of woman who would be a true blessing to her husband. Primarily, I decided a long time ago that God is my number 1 and I intend to keep Him there. I expect nothing less from the man I marry. I even pray for him now, wherever he is, that God bless him, help him become who God wants him to be, and bring us together at the right time.

Am I interested in other things too? Yes, after being given the same advice by multiple people (including a man) to make a list of things I desire in my husband, I did. And I took it to God, trusting Him with it.

That’s the bottom line: God knows who I need and who needs me, and He is capable of bringing us together at the right time. So my job is to make myself ready and to be watching. Yes, to date, but to date for the right reasons and with my standards set.

My standards for dating are simple, and I’ve realized that I have not only the right, but the responsibility to make those standards clear from the beginning. My plan, should a man ask me out and I think maybe I want to accept, is to ask him two questions.

1. Are you a Christian?
2. Is God your #1?

If he can’t answer both questions with an honest and firm yes, then there’s no potential for a relationship and the answer is no, because we’re not walking the same road and I’m not leaving mine to join him on his.

If you’re thinking, “Hey, those questions might offend him!” you’re right, and if they do, he’s not for me. In fact, the man who is for me would be glad I asked and might have even considered asking me the same questions.

Here’s the deal.
If God isn’t his #1, he doesn’t qualify to be my #2.

Yes, I know there are men who could answer yes deceitfully or answer yes sincerely and later prove by their fruit that they were mistaken. The key is to watch for the fruit.

For instance, if like my one friend experienced, my dinner date were to invite me back to his home for sex, my answer would be something along the lines of, “Clearly you either lied or were wrong about your answer to my second question. So, yeah, there’s no potential for a relationship of any kind here.”

Child of God, I’m not telling you what to do… Wait, yes, I am. If you want to stay in right relationship with God, you have got to set aside the world’s standards. Parts of modern culture may imply that physical access is simply part of the evening, but we’re not called to live by that culture.

This same rule holds true where any temptation to sin is concerned.
If your date is tempting you to sin, it’s time to head out the door.

Modern culture demands instant gratification in pretty much all areas of life. The problem with instant gratification is that its benefits usually disappear just as fast. God’s rewards on the other hand, though we may not see all of them instantly, are eternal.

Make His standards your standards, and hold to those standards, and you won’t go wrong.

If God is truly first, His standards come first too.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

PS: In case it’s not obvious, if God isn’t your #1 you’re really not ready to get married.

Caught in Complacency

Tammy M Cardwell2 Comments
Sunlit forest path winding through trees, representing a spiritual journey from complacency to deeper intimacy with God.

Have you ever thanked God for letting you walk through Hell?

While praying for some friends who seem to be stuck where spiritual maturity is concerned, I was drawn to reassess my own spiritual journey. I was saved at 13 (or thereabouts) and I loved God, but my progress toward spiritual maturity was more of an amble than a walk until I began attending church regularly as an 18-year-old.

Even then, it was a fairly leisurely walk until my husband had the first affair that I know of. At that point, in the midst of the spiritual fight of my life, everything changed. Driven deep into the arms of God by my desperation, I found my priorities shifting and He truly became my primary focus. I clearly remember telling Him at one point that I wanted the season to end, but I didn’t want to ever let go of the close relationship with Him that I’d developed in it. It was as if a switch had been flipped and a light I’d not even realized was available suddenly flooded my soul. Having gained that light, I was determined not to lose it.

So, as I thought about these people that I was praying for, I asked God what made the difference, why I’d been unable to reach that place of intimacy before being thrown into the spiritual battle. His answer was instant—and humbling.

“You were caught in complacency.”

I’ve advised many people that, when making important decisions, you should follow peace because God is the author of peace. God is the only one who can give it; the closest the devil can come is complacency. With that in mind, you’ll understand why God’s answer paused my prayer and set me back a bit.

Because He was right.

Before the affair, my whole life was one of complacency. Yes, my marriage was not what it should have been, but I convinced myself that it could be worse. After all, he didn’t beat me like my stepfather had beaten my mother, so I could live with it. I was okay. It was just my “cross to bear.”

Back then, I would never have used the word, but with 20-20 hindsight, I see it clearly. I was complacent. Worse, I was complacent about my relationship with God. I was an active church member. I served. I took Bible classes when they were available and I read my Bible on my own—sometimes. I prayed—when I thought about it. I was satisfied that, as Mick said in Crocodile Dundee, “Yep, me and God, we’d be mates.” Mind you, I knew his view was unscriptural, but I was saved. Yep, I was saved, serving, and satisfied. And that’s exactly where complacency had trapped me.

Even as I write this, I just had to put the pen down
and walk away for a minute, take a breather.

Complacency is so dangerous and so very easy to get caught up in, to stay trapped in.

What would have become of my family if the affair hadn’t happened, if I’d not been driven into God’s arms? How would things have developed if I’d failed to wake up, if I’d continued in my meandering spiritual journey instead of diving into true intimacy with God and developing a genuine hunger for His Word?

If I had remained that spiritual teenager forever, how completely would I have failed my kids? I failed in many ways as it is. How much worse would it have been?

And again, I had to put the pen down
and step away for a minute.

Two of my greatest treasures in this life are my boys. I love them both with everything I have and am more proud of them than words can express. To think of the damage I would have done to them if I’d failed to mature spiritually, if I’d continued in my complacently casual walk with God, is painful.

I would not wish the hell I lived through during that season on anyone, but now more than ever, I thank God for walking me through it. Yes, the devil meant for it to destroy me. That’s obvious, and as my pastor would say, he did it because he knew my potential and wanted to stop me from reaching it. Instead, God used the devil’s weapon as a tool to jumpstart my journey and teach me lessons that would prove invaluable over and over again.

My heart is racing even now as thoughts of what could have been and what is rush through my mind, and I am grateful. Yes, I am genuinely grateful for that season. That experience being what it took to finally kick me out of being satisfied with my inadequate spiritual life and into true hunger for the things of God, I thank God for it!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

What a Work in Progress Really Looks Like

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Open planner page showing a handwritten list of devotional titles and publication dates beside the title "What a Work in Progress Really Looks Like," illustrating the behind-the-scenes process of writing a devotional book.

“How do you write a book?”

Every author has been asked this question many times and has probably given just as many different answers. One of my answers is, “Slowly.”

Take my upcoming devotional, for instance. I knew in 2024 that God was nudging me in a devotional direction. In fact, it was November of 2024 when I launched my Eternally Planted newsletter, where I shared my first devotion with my subscribers. Except for last month (don’t ask), I’ve shared one every month since.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I’ve talked about the book here before, mostly while I was still in the brainstorming stages, and it seems high time I shared more of the process. So let’s start with this page from my planner.

Open planner page showing a handwritten list of devotional titles and publication dates.

That page may not look like much, but every title on it represents a lesson God taught me, a Scripture He highlighted, or a moment He used to draw me closer to Him.

One thing you realize right away when you see this photo is that this gal prefers pencil (or pen) and paper. That holds true for both writing and planning. I have files on my laptop for both, but this dotted page in my planner carries the heart of the book for me. Each of the beautifully-handwritten titles (insert laughing emoji here) represents one of the 35 devotions I’ve completed as of today. The dates in the column to the right show when those devotions were shared with my newsletter readers.

Some authors start with formal plans, even if they change them as they go along. I do have a title, which I’m not quite ready to share. My only other plan at this moment is that I’m working on a 4-book series, each book of which will contain 90 devotions. 

I’ve felt like I was creeping along, but now I’m encouraged. I’ve written nine devotions in the last four weeks and I wrote four of those last week. If I can keep up this pace, I have some hope of publishing book one before the end of the year.

The devotions themselves?

I’m suddenly remembering a line from Little Women where Jo March addresses her “scribble scrabble” letter to her sister Beth. I could so be remembering that wrong, but the point is she knew the letter would be more stream of consciousness than organized.

That’s me. So very much of the time, that is me.

I’m not directing this book or this series. I don’t decide, “Oh, I need a devotion on _______” and set out to write it. I don’t operate that way, which you can probably tell if you’ve been following me for any length of time. Instead, God and I will be talking, or I’ll remember an event, or I’ll see something while driving down the road—and poof, there’s a devotion waiting to be put down on paper.

Which means this series is going to be as eclectic as Tammy Marshall Cardwell!

The organizational side of this eclectic collection is developing too. Or, I should say, I’m finally starting to wrap my head around the whole idea of organizing what I’ve got. Honestly, I wouldn’t have even begun this yet if I’d not stumbled across another author’s recommendation of Freeform, which is an app on my MacBook Pro.

I’m using it to maintain a virtual bulletin board with sticky notes for each of my devotions. With it I can “organize” the devotions themselves, making note of individual themes today in hopes of having an easier time balancing the book as a whole “tomorrow.” Of course, I had to ask ChatGPT how to use it since I’m not techy like that.

Am I using ChatGPT? I know that question is going to come up, so let’s address it now.

I am an author. I am the one who is writing this book. Words are my passion and I’m not sharing that part of the experience. So no, I’m not using AI to write my book.

ChatGPT works as my coach and editor. When I need help creating my web headers in Canva, Chat talks me through it. When I wanted to figure out how to use Freeform to help me grasp the book better (Because, even though I’m aphantasic, I’m very visual), Chat walked me through that too.

And, again, Chat acts like an editor since I don’t have the freedom to hire one of those right now while I’m still working on individual devotions. Later, I fully intend to invest in a real, live human to handle that part as well as another real live human to create my covers.

If by chance you know someone who is experienced with editing devotionals, please tell me about them. I’ll need recommendations for sure because devotionals aren’t like other books.

So…yeah. Today I worked on some of the organizational stuff for the book and I’m hoping to get at least one or two devotions written tomorrow. Ideally, I’d like to have five new devotions by the time I go to bed Saturday night.

Will it happen? Well… God is undeniably in this, so we’ll just have to see what He does next. I was able to write four devotions last week because He had me sit down with paper and pen and do mini-drafts of them one after another one morning.

Mini-draft: (Tammy’s definition) The bare bones start of a devotion, usually consisting of 150 words or less.

Since I shoot for around 500-575 words per devotion, those mini-drafts are only a start, but having those foundations to build on helps enormously.

So that’s what a work in progress looks like today!

Until next time, be blessed, my friends!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

PS: If you would like to receive my newsletter and get previews of the book, subscribe here.

What My Anniversary Posts Were Really Saying

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Reflective middle-aged woman sitting by a window looking at her phone, with the title “What My Anniversary Posts Were Really Saying”

Facebook Memories can be surprisingly revealing.

Today would have been Jack’s and my 45th anniversary, so when I looked at my FB Memories just now I got to see years’ worth of “Happy Anniversary to Us” memories. And I saw a pattern.

They were all, essentially, some happy-looking version of “We’re still here!”

Not “I love being married to this man.”
No “God has blessed me with the best.”
None of… all those things I see happy wives post.

Just a “happy” acknowledgement that our marriage had survived another year. Something to make it look like all was going great…without telling an outright lie.

Looking back now, I can see those posts were waving red flags I didn’t even recognize myself. If anyone noticed the pattern, they probably would have suspected our marriage wasn’t all it was supposed to be.

I thought I’d mention it in case someone in your life is quietly waving red flags you’ve been missing.

Have I mentioned lately that I love my life? God is so so good to me!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Flesh Really Is That Strong

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Woman looking through shattered glass representing spiritual blindness and the struggle against the flesh

I just finished the book of Jeremiah. (Shhh…. Don’t tell the leader of our devotional group. Technically I should only have finished chapter 29.) 

It seems like every time I read this book I finish it just as stunned as the time before.

Repeatedly, Jeremiah warns God’s people about what’s coming.
Repeatedly, what God has Jeremiah announce is exactly what happens.
Repeatedly, the people choose to believe what they want to believe.

Why? Are human beings really that blind?
(Rhetorical question. We all know the answer.)

Blind isn’t really the right word, though. I’d say “flesh-driven” is more appropriate. Which brings me to an ongoing conversation about the power of the flesh that God and I have been having for the past few weeks.

It all started with the Millennial Reign—the thousand years during which Jesus will rule the earth from Jerusalem—and what comes after when the devil and demons are released for a short time before they’re thrown into the lake of fire forever.

My initial question went something like:
How is it possible that, with Jesus literally here on Earth and ruling the whole earth, and knowing about the Tribulation and what happened immediately in its aftermath, and presumably having contact with those who are no longer mortal but instead living in their glorified bodies…

How can anyone possibly
1) want to challenge Jesus and
2) think for one minute that defeating Jesus is even possible?
I mean, I know the devil drives it, but how do the people reach that point?

My conclusion, after days of discussions with God, is that the pull of the flesh is far stronger than we like to admit.

I know one of the things I look forward to after the Rapture is never having to fight the flesh again!

So, to get back to our theoretical “end of time” humans…

The Bible implies that in that thousand-year period man will live a lot longer than he does today. One hundred will be considered quite young, so who knows how long a standard generation will be? How many generations will have passed when the devil is released? Surely not many? So, can they really have forgotten…or chosen to forget…or chosen never to learn the truth?

Looking at the United States right now, and the actual beliefs of far too many of our residents, I have to say yes. Yes, they can.

I remember a day in the early 90s when I had the thought, “The day will come when they realize what they’ve done, and they will regret it.” I don’t remember what the issue of the day was, but I clearly remember, later, thinking something like, “No. They never will realize what they did. They’re so used to the world they’ve created that nothing about it seems out of line.” It doesn’t really matter what specific incident I’m remembering (or not): Our recent history offers a distressing number of examples that fit.

So yes, even when something is relatively recent and factually undeniable, people who don’t want to believe will find a way to deny it. Worse, some will persuade others to deny it with them.

But why?

At the risk of redundancy: The flesh really is that strong.
In fact, it’s so strong that, without God, we cannot consistently win against it.

Going back to those mortals who live on this earth during the Thousand Year Reign of Christ, it’s important to remember that they are fully human. And as humans, they too will battle the flesh. The biggest difference between them and us is that they will only have to fight the flesh. The devil and his demons won’t be around to whisper lies in their ears.

So, it’s entirely possible the world will seem like a totally peaceful place until the devil is released. I mean, the potential will obviously be there as people think their flesh-driven thoughts. But I’m guessing that, on the surface, all will seem right with the world until the element of true evil re-enters the picture.

It makes me think of chemicals that appear stable until one additional substance is introduced and everything reacts violently.

And this potentially answers another question I’ve had for years.

Why do the devil and demons have to be released that one, last time? To cause that very reaction, to finally cleanse humanity. At least, that’s the conclusion I’ve come to today. I’m not about to say God told me this, just that it feels right.

Regardless, there I sat, staring at the last page of Jeremiah where I could see how every part of the prophecy about Jerusalem’s destruction came to pass. I mean, right down to the specific prophecy about the taking down of those huge bronze pillars, Jeremiah was specific and proven to be completely accurate.

Upon completing that last page, I realized I was looking at confirmation that what I’ve been thinking really is true. The flesh really is that strong. Fail to conquer it and it will blind you, leading you to believe things that have no foundation in truth. And when we’re not fully submitted to God it’s a very hard thing to fight.

This realization is both sobering and comforting.

Sobering because the flesh really is strong enough to blind us to the truth.
Comforting because God never intended us to fight it alone.

When we are submitted to God, filled with the Holy Spirit and listening to and obeying His promptings, we have all the power we need.

Indeed, as Romans 8:37 (NLT) assures us:

No, despite all these things,
overwhelming victory is ours
through Christ, who loved us.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Day I Put the Poison Down | Forgiveness, Anxiety, and Healing

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Terry Naturally AnxioCalm samples on a wooden counter with the words “Choosing Forgiveness — The Day I Put the Poison Down”

Terry Naturally, a company whose Adrenaplex® is one of my daily supplements,
sent me these samples with my monthly subscription.

I’m not here to review the samples because I haven’t had to use them.

Which is exactly the point of this article.

As I was standing there, seeing them on the counter, I smiled specifically because I DON’T need them. Ever. At all.

This has not always been the case. Twice in my life with Jack I ended up spending a few months on antidepressants. Even when not on the antidepressants, I carried an anti anxiety medication with me for years. Because yes, I needed it.

I took a picture as I stood there specifically because these samples suddenly represented my deliverance from anxiety. And then I spent a few days thinking back, trying to decide when I was finally able to leave it all behind.

I still can’t remember exactly when I stopped using the anti-anxiety meds for anxiety (I found out they were a GREAT antihistamine and did occasionally use them for that for a while), but I believe I found the turning point.

I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure it was the day I REALLY grasped the necessity of forgiveness. I’d worked on forgiving people for years, and honestly was pretty good at it. But it is admittedly hard to daily, even hourly, forgive a spouse who seems determined to break you. There came a day, though, when I finally, truly, understood that my unforgiveness was destroying me.

Read that again, carefully. MY unforgiveness—my refusal to truly forgive my husband—was destroying ME.

We’ve all heard it said that refusing to forgive someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Like so many things, we can agree with the concept in theory while having a terrible time with practical application.

On THAT day I, for the first time, genuinely understood that the choice really was mine. If I were holding a cup of poison and could either drink it or not, the choice would be mine. And that was exactly where I was—holding a cup of poison that was killing me. I could either continue to drink it or I could choose to put it down.

I chose to put it down.

Right there, in that moment.

Over the next hour or so I honestly dealt with my unforgiveness against not only him, but a couple of other people I’d not even realized I was holding out against until God told me. This was deliberate action I took, something in my own heart that I chose to settle.

That decision changed everything.

Before, no matter how hard I tried, I often struggled to forgive Jack and failed. But something changed when I stopped committing to TRY and determined to DO.  When I catch myself feeling even a hint of unforgiveness, I squash it. I may battle it for a minute but I refuse to let it live in me.

And I am no longer being destroyed. If I remember correctly, that day actually came only a year or two before Jack passed away. I told someone not long ago that I can’t help but wonder if God didn’t let him live as long as he did specifically so I could reach this place.

That may sound ridiculous, but unforgiveness really is that destructive.

If you deal with anxiety, Terry Naturally’s new product may well help. But if you also struggle to forgive, I guarantee that learning to genuinely forgive will make a huge difference.

But you have to choose not just to try, but to do. And God is ready and waiting to help you do it!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

I Gave God One Day… And Got More Done

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment
Open Bible and coffee on a wooden table in soft sunlight representing Sabbath rest and peaceful reflection

What do you do when you hear God say,
“Start keeping Sunday as a rest day.”?

I knew it was God speaking, because the thought had never even crossed my mind. As an author and blogger with a full-time job, I’ve pretty much been working 7 days a week for years.

And God was asking me to give up a whole day?
Yes. Yes, He was.

But here’s the surprising thing: It’s been amazing!
I’m talking life changing amazing.
So much so that I had to share what I’ve been experiencing.

Interestingly, when I mentioned this to a friend, she told me God had recently given her the same instruction. As we compared notes, we realized we’re seeing many of the same results.

In “losing” that workday, setting Sunday afternoon and evening aside for rest, we’re both getting more done.

It’s easier to avoid putting things off when you know a full day is coming when you won’t be working. It’s also easier to stay focused when you realize your time is limited.

On Saturday evenings, even when I’m tired, I’ll push through to finish something I might have previously left for “tomorrow.” Because now tomorrow isn’t an option. And there’s something about knowing tomorrow isn’t an option that is very motivating.

In the past, if I took a day off just for me, I’d feel guilty about everything I wasn’t getting done. As a result, my “day of rest” was never truly restful.

Guilt can be exhausting.
There is no guilt on Sunday.

Once I get home from church, I am “off” in a very real way. I might toss in a load of laundry… maybe. But I don’t go near my laptop or anything that might pull me into work. The closest I come to working is talking to God. And even then, He’s been known to gently shut me down when my thoughts stray into “unrestful” territory.

Another unexpected result? I look forward to Mondays.

I’ve never hated Mondays, but there have been many when I felt the weekend was too short and I was too tired.

This doesn’t happen now.

When I head to bed on Saturday night, I’m satisfied. I’ve accomplished more than I expected, and I know a true day of rest of coming. After that rest, I’m ready to go again.

I’m less fatigued. Mentally, I feel better than I have in years. My patience is higher, even during one of the church’s busiest seasons. I’m not overwhelmed by everything on my plate.

This has been a complete shift.

Growing up, I had a friend whose family strictly observed the Sabbath. I even remember hearing her dad explain to mine, “You know I don’t do any work on Sunday.” At the time, I thought it a little odd even though I vaguely knew it was one of the Ten Commandments.

I mean, God did say in Exodus 20:9-10 (NLT):

You have six days each week for your ordinary work,
but the seventh day is a Sabbath day
of rest dedicated to the LORD your God.
On that day no one in your household may do any work…

I suppose I assumed it didn’t really apply to modern life—if I thought about it at all.

But it turns out that the need for a regular day of rest very much still applies.
And not just because God said so.

There’s a growing body of research suggesting our bodies are literally designed to function best with regular rest.

A regular rest day can:

  • reduce chronic stress (cortisol levels)
  • improve sleep quality
  • help prevent burnout and fatigue
  • allow physical systems to repair and reset

Without it, you don’t just get tired—you get worn down

On the other hand, when you truly step away one day each week, it can:

  • restore joy
  • increase patience
  • stabilize your mood
  • lift mental fog 
  • increase creativity
  • improve decision making
  • reduce irritability
  • dissipate anxiety

And that’s just a start.

You stop simply reacting and start thinking clearly again. You remember what matters, who matters, and why you’re doing what you’re doing.

And you remember Who’s really in control.
(That would be God.)

As a mostly-recovered control freak, I find that especially important.

It turns out God knew exactly what He was doing when He established the Sabbath.
And He knew exactly what He was doing when He told me to start keeping it.

God didn’t command us to rest to slow us down—He commanded it because He designed us to need it.

Have you ever considered setting aside a true Sabbath—one full day to rest with God?
You might be surprised what happens when you do.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Hidden Meaning Behind “The Joy of the Lord is Your Strength”

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment
Woman standing on a rock in a storm representing God’s protection and the joy found in His presence

“It’s good to see you like this,” she said. “It’s not normal for anyone to be happy all the time.”

I had thought she was my friend. Her delight in my pain—during what I’ve since recognized as a nervous breakdown—left me stunned.

The truth is that until that season of my life I had always been a happy person. Even though my husband’s behavior was becoming increasingly destructive, I walked in joy most of the time. All of that changed when God gave me a direct command…

and I told Him, “No.”

It wasn’t until recently—while reading The Force of Joy by Alexandria Flint—that I began to understand what had really happened.

We’ve all heard the phrase “the joy of the Lord is your strength” from Nehemiah 8:10. Nehemiah is encouraging Jerusalem’s inhabitants as they grieve over how they’ve sinned against God. He’s assuring them that there is hope.

Alexandria, in the very first pages of her book, digs into the Hebrew words that have been translated as “joy” and “strength.” And these words don’t mean what you probably think they mean!

Multiple Hebrew words are translated as joy in the Old Testament, but this word, chedvah, is special. It’s only used three times: In 1 Chronicles 16:27, Nehemiah 8:10, and Ezra 6:16. Unlike the other Hebrew words that refer to outward expressions of joy, Chedvah refers to the overflowing delight that comes only from being in God’s presence.

I love the way Alexandria explains it:

Think of it like this: chedvah is a deep root system buried in the richness of God’s character, and all those other expressions of joy (simchah, sasson, gil) are the flowers that bloom from that root. You can have beautiful flowers for a season, but if there’s no root system, the first storm that rages by will wipe them out.

The more I thought about chedvah, particularly in reference to that horrible season of my life, the more I understood why 1) I’d always been such a happy person and 2) I suddenly was not.

I’d always been happy because I intentionally lived close to God. I stayed in His presence through prayer, reading my Bible, worship… And being constantly in His presence—the very source of joy—I lived joyously.

But, on the day I refused to obey God’s clear and direct instructions regarding my involvement in a specific ministry, I did what we all instinctively do. I stepped back.

I couldn’t stay in His presence while choosing disobedience. The conviction would have been too much. I didn’t want to hear what He had to say… so I turned away.

I was no longer anchored in that flow of joy—and I was no longer protected by it. While living in God’s presence, with my focus on Him, I was able to handle my husband’s behavior, but suddenly I saw everything… every… little… thing that he did.

I couldn’t handle it.
And I started to spiral.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

I had no strength, which is hardly surprising, but in losing that joy I lost more than strength. Much more!

The word translated as “strength” is ma’owz, and although it appears 37 times in the Old Testament this is the only place it appears as “strength.” In other locations, it’s translated as “stronghold,” “refuge,” “fortress,” and “protection.”

It’s a military term.

The joy of the Lord, that joy that comes from being in God’s presence, is your stronghold, your refuge, your fortress, and your protection!

That is what I stepped away from when I backed away from God!

I’ve spent days talking to God about this.

Think about Psalm 91 and all it promises to the one who dwells in the secret place of the Most High. When you grasp the truth of the joy of the Lord being your “strength,” this psalm becomes even more significant.

Even now, I’ve been literally sitting here with my head in my hands as I work to absorb all of this. And I’m reminded of a vision God gave me when our oldest was a baby.

At church, during worship, God showed me a woman
standing on a rock in the middle of a stormy sea.

Although her dress was wind-blown and waves beat against the rock, she stood confidently. God told me then that I could be that woman, one who could stand strong through any storm.

He didn’t tell me how to become that woman. He just told me to stay close to Him.

And, as it turns out, that is exactly what it takes.

As I live in God’s presence, I live in joy that can only be found in Him, and that joy protects me in ways I may never recognize.

And what about that friend, you ask? As I recall, we parted ways not long after. But I will say this; her heartless words were part of what woke me up. God used them to get my attention and draw me back to Him—back into obedience and back into His presence, His joy, and His protection.

There’s no place I’d rather be than in His presence, His joy, and His protection.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Force of Joy: A Journey from Discovery to Deployment of Your Spiritual Weapon, by Alexandria Flint, is available on Amazon. I will publish a review once I finish, but I had to stop right now and share what I’ve learned just from pages 5-8.