All About HIM

The Accidents that Didn’t Kill Me

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Have you ever stopped to count how many times God has rescued you? That is, have you considered how many times He’s rescued you that you know of?

“Rescue” can mean many things, but right now I’m thinking about times when I know beyond doubt that I would not have survived without divine intervention.

The first was when I was around 8 or 9. We were enjoying a day on the water when our boat hit a submerged log. When I came to, I was in my stepfather’s seat and he was in the water.

It is a heartbreaking thing to be completely helpless while watching a man drown.

Years later I realized something terrible: It should have been me. My sister and I were sitting up on the inboard motor and should have been thrown out of the boat, but we weren’t.

Another time I was driving down a mostly empty highway on a sunny day when a dump truck driver decided to cross the road in front of me. He said he didn’t see me, but let’s not go there.

I swerved just enough to slam into his rear wheel.

Had I instead gone between his wheels…? 

Then there’s the more recent wreck I can’t even let myself think about. It, too, should have killed me – and not just me.

And these are the times I know God had His hand on me, His angels looking after me.

I can’t help but wonder how many more there have been.

A demon once told my sister, “We’ve been trying to kill you for years.” Given the things that have happened to her – starting with the fact that she was sitting beside me on the day our stepfather died – I have no trouble believing it.

I don’t think we give God and His angels enough credit. We may wonder why certain bad things happen, but in reality… How much worse could it have been?

I often pray Psalm 91 over myself and my family. Verse 11 assures me, “For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.”

I’m living proof. Maybe you are too.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

“Why Have You Forsaken Me?” A Hidden Message from the Cross

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

This morning, I heard a minister say something that stopped me in my tracks.

He reminded me that the Bible’s chapters and verses are very new additions. In that era, if you wanted to draw someone’s attention to a particular passage, you’d quote the first words – similar to how we often mistake a song’s first line for its title today.

During Jesus’ days, the Bible was shared orally, and memorization was important. The psalms would have been well known by those who stood watching. According to this minister, and the idea rings true, when Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?,” He wasn’t merely crying out to God in anguish: He was intentionally pointing their hearts towards Psalm 22, a song that begins in devastation but ends in victory and a changed world.

Psalm 22 is written by David and ostensibly about him, but it is definitely prophetic and depicts the Crucifixion in astounding detail.

Anyone who, on that day, went in their thoughts to that particular psalm, and paid honest attention to its words, saw it playing out before their eyes.

But here’s the beautiful thing.

This psalm begins with suffering, with the devastation of being without God’s presence, but it ends in hope, in victory, in redemption.

Here is Psalm 22:27-31 in the NET version.

Let all the people of the earth acknowledge the LORD and turn to him! Let all the nations worship you! For the LORD is king and rules over the nations. All of the thriving people of the earth will join the celebration and worship; all those who are descending into the grave will bow before him, including those who cannot preserve their lives. A whole generation will serve him; they will tell the next generation about the sovereign Lord. They will come and tell about his saving deeds; they will tell a future generation what he has accomplished.

When at last Jesus shouted, “It is finished!” He knew the best part of our story was just beginning. Or, as I noted in the margin of my Bible, “The Cross was unimaginably horrific for Jesus to face, but He faced it knowing what would come as a result.”

And that’s why Good Friday is truly good.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

God’s Question That Stopped Me in My Tracks

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I was thanking God for a friend a few days ago. Some time back, she volunteered to handle a specific task every month. It’s not super complicated, but it does take time and requires her to run an errand that otherwise wouldn’t fall on her. Month after month, she consistently covers this project for me. “I’m so grateful for her, “I told God. “I know I can hand her this job and she’ll get it done.”

I meant what I said, every word of it. My heart was full of gratitude. Then God asked me a question.

He wanted to know why, if I trust her so easily, I sometimes doubt Him and whether He will “get the job done.”

OUCH!

We’re talking punch-in-the-gut stuff here. I like to think I’m a woman of strong faith, but He wouldn’t have asked me the question if it didn’t apply. Do I really, at times, trust a human friend more than I trust my God? I mean, this is GOD we’re talking about. Of course He will get the job done, whatever that job is!

I do tell Him on occasion that it’s not Him I’m doubting, but me. More specifically, I too often doubt my own ability to hear Him clearly. Did I really hear God’s voice, or did I go off on a tangent of my own creating? Yes, I have those moments – more than I like to admit. I wonder if this is part of what He’s talking about, that in doubting my own ability to hear Him I’m doubting His ability to help me understand. Possibly?

I’m still thinking about this one, about how I have at least on occasion failed to trust The Creator of the Universe, how at times I apparently put more faith in the one who holds my project in her hands than in the One who holds my whole life in His hands.

This faith walk? One of its most important factors is self-assessment – making sure we are who we think we are, and repenting if we’re not. If we’re not listening and judging ourselves when He asks questions like this one, we’re not getting the job done.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

When Darkness Fell: The Day That Changed Eternity

Tammy M Cardwell3 Comments

Like many people, I’ve been reading through the book of Luke this month, and today we reached one of the hardest and most beautiful chapters in the Bible: Luke 23.

Reading about how Jesus was treated on that last day is painful. To see Him accused unjustly and witness Pilate and Herod toss Him around like a ping pong ball hurts. Then, watching Pilate give into the crowd’s demands not because Jesus had been found guilty of anything, but because the crowd was overwhelming… You see just what a wimp Pilate was, really.

But when I keep my eyes on Jesus, I’m blown away. At any point, He had the right and authority to put an end to it all. He could have, but He’d already settled His course in the garden. He was determined to do God’s will no matter how much it hurt. So, rather than potentially say something that might hinder the process, He remained silent except for the one time He confirmed what Pilate had said about Him being king of the Jews. He literally could have called ten thousand angels and chose not to.

On the walk to Golgotha, He spoke only to the weeping women, giving them warning of what was to come. Then, once He’d been raised up on the cross, what did He say? “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” (verse 34, NET) Every time I read those words, I come to a full stop and consider: If Jesus, who was in a worse position than any man ever had been or would be again, could ask God to forgive those who were crucifying Him – even though they didn’t want or ask for forgiveness – who am I to hold grudges? Seriously? In eleven words He preached a sermon I will never forget.

His heart being what it was, it’s no surprise that He told the second criminal, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” (verse 43)

At verse 44 we reach the beautiful part of this chapter. As the devil was no doubt rejoicing, God turned out the lights. Some have theorized that this was a solar eclipse, but it happened at Passover, so that’s not possible. Whatever God did, the result was no sun and no moon for three hours.

What would it have been like on that hill after three hours of darkness? I’m guessing it would have been nearly silent, maybe with the painful moans of the dying, the sound of weeping, and the steps of any soldiers who were on patrol. And then something completely unexpected happened.

Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!”

Luke 23:46 NET (emphasis mine)

And then He breathed His last. And…? Can you imagine? It might as well have been the dead of night and a man who should have been barely breathing SHOUTED out such a declaration. Luke doesn’t tell us much beyond the impression it made on the centurion and that the crowds “returned home beating their breasts,” but you know it was a kick in the gut to every one of them.

About that same time, the veil in the Temple was torn completely in two from top to bottom. This “veil” was actually a curtain that was around 60 feet high and, according to ancient Jewish tradition, about 4 inches thick. It separated the Holy of Holies from the rest of the Temple, protecting man from God’s holy presence. When Jesus gave up His life as the sacrifice for our sins, that protection was no longer necessary.

Light dawned in that moment, and today we have the right to enter boldly into God’s presence!

I get to the resurrection tomorrow as I appropriately finish the book of Luke on the day we prepare to celebrate Jesus’ birth, but I end today’s reading in joy for what Jesus had already done at 3:00 in the afternoon on a day darkness had ruled.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

God Has a Reason

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Story time, and it’s a story with three lessons.
1. When God says, “Move,” you need to move.
2. When you know you need help, ask Him.
3. When He tells you what to do, do what He says.

WHEN GOD SAID, “MOVE.”

I was having a rough night. Allergies ruled and I could not settle down to sleep even though I’d been in bed for quite a while. In the midst of my struggles, God told me to get up and use my neti pot. I didn’t want to, but I’ve been trying to practice quick obedience, so I did. I got up, turned on the light, and headed to the sink.

As I was washing the neti pot afterwards, I literally said something along the lines of, “Well, I don’t know why you had me do that; it doesn’t seem to have done anything.” And it hadn’t, not really, BUT.

I should stop a moment and explain that after the horrible reaction I had to all of the gnat bites back in June/July, I got a gnat tent (Like a mosquito tent, but with tinier openings) for my bed, and it’s still there. I’ve about decided it’s going to stay there, to be honest.

So I got back to the bed, pulled aside the curtain, and saw why God had me get out of bed. It wasn’t because I needed to use my neti pot. It was because there were two of us inside my tent and He knew what would happen if the other came upon me unawares. That’s my Kindle in the lower right corner, so you can see how big it was.

Yes, I’m now aware this is a wolf spider, which would not have hurt me and is beneficial, but I remind you that this giant spider was trapped inside the tent with me, in the dark. God alone knows what would have happened if it had crawled on me in the middle of the night. As I stood facing the thing, we were both frozen. I knew I was in trouble if I didn’t handle this the right way, and I know next to nothing about spider behavior. So…

I KNEW I NEEDED HELP.
I ASKED THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD HELP ME.

As I stood there, I recognized that I was way out of my element. The spider had to not only leave my tent, but also my little apartment or I might never have peace again. I literally told God, “This one’s on You. You are going to have to handle this because I can’t!”

He told me to step outside and get the net we use to sweep leaves up off the surface of the pool. I had no idea the net was even there because It’s often attached to the pole, but I slowly crossed to the door, never taking my eyes off the spider, and took a super quick glance outside to find that the net was exactly where He said it would be.

Then I stood there, glancing back and forth between spider and net, and informed God that He had to make the thing stay right where it was. Does it sound like I was desperate? Good, because I was.

I DID WHAT HE TOLD ME TO.
I DID IT THE WAY HE SAID TO DO IT.

I was back at the bed, net in hand, in about two seconds, controlling my breathing and reminding myself that God always has my back. Again, I was talking to Him, telling Him I needed precise instructions so I wouldn’t blow my part of this adventure. (No, I didn’t think of it as an adventure at the time, but I can laugh about it now.)

God told me to move slowly and to gently put the side of the net right by the spider. I did, and that spider stepped onto the net as pretty as you please while I stared in shock. I then moved very slowly, backing out of the bed and heading for the door. I only disturbed it once on the way out; it was actually a lot more calm than I was.

I would love to say I settled right down to sleep after the spider and I parted ways. I didn’t. Every time I thought about what could have happened if the thing had crawled on me in the middle of the night, I thanked God one more time for telling me to get out of bed. I had that thought and reaction over and over for hours. In fact, this situation made me even happier that I’m aphantasic, because as a total aphant my imagination couldn’t toss visual possibilities at me, only concepts.

We live and we learn, and sometimes we just get reminded of basic truths. God knows what’s going on, and if He tells us to do something there’s always a reason. Unlike this particular experience, we don’t always actually see His plan, but we can be confident that He has one and trust that our obedience is serving a purpose.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Get Face to Face with God

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

There is no substitute for one-on-one time with God, for uninterrupted, undistracted, face-to-face time with God. Yes, praying without ceasing, talking with Him as you walk through your day, is vital, but there must also be times when you literally set aside all else, look Him in the face, and speak heart to heart.

Why? Because it’s easy to “miss” what He’s saying, and the importance of what He’s saying, while you are busy with other things. It’s easy to accidentally overlook or even forget His point because… “Squirrel!”

You know it’s true. How many times, in general conversation, have you been distracted at a critical point? And have you been known to occasionally ignore a question you didn’t want to answer, behaving as if you didn’t hear it? How many times have you accidentally-on-purpose misunderstood something someone was saying? Such things happen easily when you and your companion are out and about. But when it’s just the two of you?

Whether it’s you and another person, or you and God, when you pull aside, get alone, and carry on a private, face-to-face conversation with no distractions, everything changes.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

When God Speaks

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I’m popping in quickly. I have to share.

I’ve been going through some papers and just now stumbled across this. I vaguely remember writing it down a very long time ago. It says…

This is what life should have been all along,
the relationship I desire to have with everyone.
You are no more special than anyone else.
You have merely developed the art of listening
and learned to trust your ability to hear.
–God to me

Apparently I was talking to God about how much I valued our relationship, and He let me know that what we have, and even more than what we had then (Since He draws me closer every day), is exactly what He wants to have with everyone. I mean, think about it. Why did He create Adam? I totally believe it was for fellowship. He longs for us to reach out to Him and accept Him not just as a supplier of our needs, but as the best Friend, best Father, best Brother, best Teacher we could ever have.

A friend texted me today asking for three tips for someone who wants to grow their relationship with God. Here’s my response.

  • Consistently and comprehensively study the Bible – all of it, not just what makes you comfortable.
  • Consistently and intentionally spend time in conversation with God – with listening being a priority.
  • Consistently be watching for ways to make Him happy.

If you think about it, this is essentially the same things you do to develop a strong relationship with anyone. Get to know everything you can about them, spend quality and quantity time with them, and strive to make them happy.

Anyone can have the relationship I have with God, one that is constantly growing as I grow. You just have to decide it’s important to you and do your part to make it happen. As He said to me, develop the art of listening and learn to trust your ability to hear.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

God Tells Secrets

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

On the Saturday before Resurrection Sunday (AKA Easter), I “happened” to be studying Genesis 22. The word happened is in quotation marks here because I don’t for one minute think it was coincidence. I’d been trying to study this chapter for a couple of weeks, but hadn’t had enough cell signal in my apartment to run the Through the Word app. (Awesome app: If you don’t have it, get it. Use it.)

So, on the day before one of my favorite days of the year, I read one of the most challenging chapters in God’s Word, and the timing was perfect.

You probably know the story. God makes a request of Abraham, asking him to sacrifice his only son. You can tell going in that something isn’t quite right, because God has a clear stance on human sacrifice. (He’s totally opposed.) So… God’s up to something. Right?

This chapter is so full of rich details that it’s easy to miss some things. Like the fact that it’s God who speaks to Abraham in verse 1, but after Abraham proves himself it’s God’s Son, Jesus, who does the talking. I can’t go into all the details, though. Let’s just look at this.

Obviously, Abraham was convinced God was up to something too. He knew God well enough, and so completely trusted God’s promise to give him countless descendants through Isaac, that he dared obey. As Hebrews 11:18-19 (NET) tells us, “God had told him, ‘Through Isaac descendants will carry on your name,’ and he reasoned that God could even raise him from the dead, and in a sense he received him back from there.”

Sound familiar? It should. In writing, it’s called foreshadowing when something is a warning or indication of some future event.

When Abraham told Isaac that God would provide the offering, he wasn’t just speaking about their personal sacrifice. He didn’t realize it, of course, but looking from this side of the cross we know he was also prophesying about the Ultimate Sacrifice. Abraham didn’t withhold his only son, his child of promise, and God didn’t withhold His only Son, His child of Promise.

Perhaps my favorite detail in Genesis 22 is one I had either never noticed before or hadn’t recalled. In verse 14 it says, “And Abraham called the name of that place ‘The Lord provides.’ It is said to this day, ‘In the mountain of the Lord provision will be made.’”

And it was. On that very same mountain, Mount Moriah, outside of Jerusalem, IT – Salvation – was provided when God gave up His only Son. A proverb spoken for about 2,000 years in the future tense was fulfilled when Jesus shouted (SHOUTED, my friends! Have you ever noticed that?!) “It is finished!”

Like I said, God’s timing is perfect. Due to weak cell signal, I’d been unable to do the Through the Word study for this chapter until the very day I needed to see it. It’s such a timely reminder of how completely God has everything planned out, and how wholly we can trust Him.

He is risen!
He is risen indeed!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Do the Small Things

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Do you remember those stories from the Bible where God asked people to do something relatively simple and then He all-out went supernatural on them?

He’s still in the same business today, and this blog is a great example of Him at work.

You are probably well aware that authors write not only because we are compelled to, but because we want to reach people, share our excitement about new things we’re learning, offer suggestions for life…whatever. In my case in particular, you get a true hodge podge of American History, living with a narcissist, aphantasia, my tiny house, a lot of Jesus, and we – even I – never know what randomness to expect.

But it’s not really totally random. I try to be led by God in all things. I have dreams, and for the most part they’re dreams He has given me. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” I firmly believe that He gives us those desires, meaning He plants them in our hearts, and then He fulfills them. He does that with me on a regular basis. Knowing this is how He operates, I really do consciously go to Him for direction, especially for this blog He has called me to maintain.

So, when he asks me to do the small things, I try to be faithful to do them, and in recent months He’s gone supernatural on – in a huge way.

First, He had me write Understanding Your Aphant. Then, right after I posted it, He had me share it in an aphantasia support group on Facebook to see if there were any ways in which I could improve it. There were some excellent suggestions, and I implemented a few.

I was unaware that someone in that group had contact with Aphantasia.com, and that person brought my blog post to their attention. The result was that they published it as an article on the website and started pushing traffic toward tammycardwell.com. I was blown away by the response. As I said, I write with a heart that desires to help people. And the more people you have reading what you write, the more people you can help!

But that was just a taste of what was to come. I still can’t get over this next one.

I recently joined a Small Spaces group on Facebook to get more ideas for my tiny house. After I’d been there a day or so, at His prompting, I shared about my home and what I’m doing in it. It was a simple post with a few photos, nothing great.

It was a small thing.

The simple post exploded with comments and questions. In answering, I shared the link to this blog, pointing out my Tiny House series, so that anyone who was interested could come read those posts and get far more details than I could offer up in post comments.

Again, I just shared a link. A small thing.

Within a very few minutes, I was getting notifications that I was experiencing “unprecedented traffic.” On that day this blog, which generally gets less than 100 views a day, got almost 9,000 views from nearly 4,000 visitors all over the world. That’s thousands of people seeing my website for the first time, visiting for one topic and hopefully getting some Jesus while they were here. (If you know me at all, you know where my true priorities lie.)

And, vitally important, because of one seemingly insignificant comment I made, I had the opportunity to encourage some women who are dealing with serious issues I’ve dealt with personally. This was a huge honor; one I cannot overemphasize. After all, the greatest thing about coming through trials is being able to help others see hope while they walk that same path.

So yes, I have recently had more reminders that God is our dream keeper, and have seen once again that all I have to do is what He tells me to. He didn’t tell me to do big things. He told me to do small things.

Do the small things.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

What’s Your Identity?

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Photo Credit: Creative Heart Photography

The above photo is my current Facebook cover image. It asks an important question and gives my answer.

What is your identity?

Think carefully before responding, because identity is a precious thing, and we should be cautious about how we apply it to ourselves.

On the surface, we find our identity in a variety of places. Are you an avid Cowboys fan? Perhaps your children are your life right now and you identify as a loving parent. Maybe you spent years working on your medical career and wear the letters MD with pride.

Look at my graphic, at the purple words, and you see what most people would perceive as my identity. I rejoice in being a mother both to my sons and the daughters they gave me when they married. Being called Granna by my grandchildren and my grandson’s fiancé brings me joy; I adore all my kids! They are gifts from God to me.

I am also honored that I’ve been called by God to be a blogger and author. I try to serve Him well in these areas, being led by His Spirit to produce books and blog posts that bless! You could say, accurately, that they are my gift to God. So is my service in my local church where I’m a secretary and the coffee shop manager, and was an active volunteer for decades before being hired full time.

None of these are my core identity.

Which brings me to the white letters, the ones that are strategically repeated: Child of God. This is my core identity, the foundation on which everything else is built, the truth that infuses everything I do. While I do occasionally blow it and have to apologize to God or others, I try to always be led by God and His love. My goal is that every single thing I do bring Him glory in some way. I can no more separate my Christianity from my writing or parenting or anything else than I could separate the hydrogen from the oxygen in water.

I’ve been mulling over this topic since publishing “Understanding Your Aphant.” I’d asked for input from a group of aphantasics in hopes of making it as accurate as possible. I got great feedback and did take their suggestions seriously, making a couple of tweaks. One of the responses I received, though, said essentially that it was great except for the one mention of God.

I got what the person was saying, because they don’t believe in the God I serve. The thing is, I DO. Leaving out that one sentence would have meant editing ME, censoring not just what I believe, but who I am.

So, if this post is the first thing you’ve read of mine, know right now that God is front and center in my blog because He is front and center in my life. He is more important than anyone or anything else. I absolutely adore my family, but I would walk away from any or all of them before I would walk away from God. It would pain me to do it; it would be agony. Nonetheless, if any one of them were to give me an ultimatum, them or God, God would win hands down. 

So yeah, you’ll see Him mentioned many times here. Join my community and you’ll have me looking over your shoulder, encouraging you to find Him if you don’t know Him and get even closer to Him if you do. He is IT. He is everything to me. My treasure isn’t in anything here on earth, but is in Him, and my ultimate goal is to help every one of my readers reach the place where they can honestly say the same thing.

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:21 ) Our treasure doesn’t need to be in anything of this earth because this earth is temporary. Our treasure needs to be in Heaven where we’ll have access to it eternally.

Are you wondering what I’m even talking about? Ok, consider this.

Many Christians are watchful, more now than ever, expecting the Rapture of the Church to take place at any moment. We’re ready to hear that trumpet and Jesus call us to leave Earth behind and join Him in Heaven. (1 Thess. 4:16-18 gives you a glimpse of what I’m talking about.) However, there are some who don’t want Jesus to come back yet. To them, it’s more important that they have the chance to get married, or graduate college, or watch their kids grow up, or whatever. We can see where their hearts are. With that in mind, where is their treasure? Really?

I’m not judging, not accusing! I’m only asking. Yes, awesome things happen in this life, but nothing, absolutely nothing, that we can experience here holds a candle to what our lives will be once we, as I tend to think of it, really start living. In this life, we’re limited to the here and now. After this life, we have all eternity ahead of us.

So yes, “Child of God” is my identity, and all the other things are vital and precious parts of what I get to be and do as His child.

So, what about you? What is your identity?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C