God Tells Secrets

On the Saturday before Resurrection Sunday (AKA Easter), I “happened” to be studying Genesis 22. The word happened is in quotation marks here because I don’t for one minute think it was coincidence. I’d been trying to study this chapter for a couple of weeks, but hadn’t had enough cell signal in my apartment to run the Through the Word app. (Awesome app: If you don’t have it, get it. Use it.)

So, on the day before one of my favorite days of the year, I read one of the most challenging chapters in God’s Word, and the timing was perfect.

You probably know the story. God makes a request of Abraham, asking him to sacrifice his only son. You can tell going in that something isn’t quite right, because God has a clear stance on human sacrifice. (He’s totally opposed.) So… God’s up to something. Right?

This chapter is so full of rich details that it’s easy to miss some things. Like the fact that it’s God who speaks to Abraham in verse 1, but after Abraham proves himself it’s God’s Son, Jesus, who does the talking. I can’t go into all the details, though. Let’s just look at this.

Obviously, Abraham was convinced God was up to something too. He knew God well enough, and so completely trusted God’s promise to give him countless descendants through Isaac, that he dared obey. As Hebrews 11:18-19 (NET) tells us, “God had told him, ‘Through Isaac descendants will carry on your name,’ and he reasoned that God could even raise him from the dead, and in a sense he received him back from there.”

Sound familiar? It should. In writing, it’s called foreshadowing when something is a warning or indication of some future event.

When Abraham told Isaac that God would provide the offering, he wasn’t just speaking about their personal sacrifice. He didn’t realize it, of course, but looking from this side of the cross we know he was also prophesying about the Ultimate Sacrifice. Abraham didn’t withhold his only son, his child of promise, and God didn’t withhold His only Son, His child of Promise.

Perhaps my favorite detail in Genesis 22 is one I had either never noticed before or hadn’t recalled. In verse 14 it says, “And Abraham called the name of that place ‘The Lord provides.’ It is said to this day, ‘In the mountain of the Lord provision will be made.’”

And it was. On that very same mountain, Mount Moriah, outside of Jerusalem, IT – Salvation – was provided when God gave up His only Son. A proverb spoken for about 2,000 years in the future tense was fulfilled when Jesus shouted (SHOUTED, my friends! Have you ever noticed that?!) “It is finished!”

Like I said, God’s timing is perfect. Due to weak cell signal, I’d been unable to do the Through the Word study for this chapter until the very day I needed to see it. It’s such a timely reminder of how completely God has everything planned out, and how wholly we can trust Him.

He is risen!
He is risen indeed!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Do the Small Things

Do you remember those stories from the Bible where God asked people to do something relatively simple and then He all-out went supernatural on them?

He’s still in the same business today, and this blog is a great example of Him at work.

You are probably well aware that authors write not only because we are compelled to, but because we want to reach people, share our excitement about new things we’re learning, offer suggestions for life…whatever. In my case in particular, you get a true hodge podge of American History, living with a narcissist, aphantasia, my tiny house, a lot of Jesus, and we – even I – never know what randomness to expect.

But it’s not really totally random. I try to be led by God in all things. I have dreams, and for the most part they’re dreams He has given me. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” I firmly believe that He gives us those desires, meaning He plants them in our hearts, and then He fulfills them. He does that with me on a regular basis. Knowing this is how He operates, I really do consciously go to Him for direction, especially for this blog He has called me to maintain.

So, when he asks me to do the small things, I try to be faithful to do them, and in recent months He’s gone supernatural on – in a huge way.

First, He had me write Understanding Your Aphant. Then, right after I posted it, He had me share it in an aphantasia support group on Facebook to see if there were any ways in which I could improve it. There were some excellent suggestions, and I implemented a few.

I was unaware that someone in that group had contact with Aphantasia.com, and that person brought my blog post to their attention. The result was that they published it as an article on the website and started pushing traffic toward tammycardwell.com. I was blown away by the response. As I said, I write with a heart that desires to help people. And the more people you have reading what you write, the more people you can help!

But that was just a taste of what was to come. I still can’t get over this next one.

I recently joined a Small Spaces group on Facebook to get more ideas for my tiny house. After I’d been there a day or so, at His prompting, I shared about my home and what I’m doing in it. It was a simple post with a few photos, nothing great.

It was a small thing.

The simple post exploded with comments and questions. In answering, I shared the link to this blog, pointing out my Tiny House series, so that anyone who was interested could come read those posts and get far more details than I could offer up in post comments.

Again, I just shared a link. A small thing.

Within a very few minutes, I was getting notifications that I was experiencing “unprecedented traffic.” On that day this blog, which generally gets less than 100 views a day, got almost 9,000 views from nearly 4,000 visitors all over the world. That’s thousands of people seeing my website for the first time, visiting for one topic and hopefully getting some Jesus while they were here. (If you know me at all, you know where my true priorities lie.)

And, vitally important, because of one seemingly insignificant comment I made, I had the opportunity to encourage some women who are dealing with serious issues I’ve dealt with personally. This was a huge honor; one I cannot overemphasize. After all, the greatest thing about coming through trials is being able to help others see hope while they walk that same path.

So yes, I have recently had more reminders that God is our dream keeper, and have seen once again that all I have to do is what He tells me to. He didn’t tell me to do big things. He told me to do small things.

Do the small things.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

“Go to Hell”

I’ll bet you never expected to see those words on this page. At least, I hope not. They are words I literally cannot imagine saying to a single soul, no matter how evil they might be.

Flashback Time

It was late on a starlit evening, so many years ago that I’ve no idea how long ago it was. I was standing outside after a meeting, talking to a dear, sweet friend who was also my pastor’s wife. We were discussing the Rapture and I told her how very much I wished it would happen right then. Her response surprised me.

I can’t remember exactly what she said, but it was something along the lines of, “Tammy, I know you don’t really mean that. There are too many people going to Hell, and you want them to get saved first.”

I learned a few things about myself that night.

  1. I’d not even been considering those people. All I knew was that my life was hard and I wanted the hard parts to be over ASAP. Yes, I was married to a narcissist and daily paid the price for that relationship, but that was some pretty narcissistic thinking on my part too!
  2. The Rapture, in that moment, was an escape plan more than anything else, and that is not what the Rapture is all about! The Rapture is about the Bride going to be with her Husband!
  3. The fact that I wasn’t thinking about those people meant two huge things.
          a. I didn’t have a genuine revelation of Hell.
          b. I didn’t truly have the love of God in my heart if I wanted anyone to go there.

It’s amazing how God can completely humble you with a few, well-chosen words from a friend! (The book of Proverbs talks about that!)

My heart started changing that night.
I got on my knees before God and begged Him to do some things in me.

I asked Him to teach me to love like He loves; I knew this was my greatest weakness. It’s taken years for me to get where I am today, and I have definitely not arrived. Walking in love is a continual choice, and I do fail. When I fail to share Jesus with someone God urges me to talk to, whether out of hurry or even fear, it’s because I don’t have enough love. If I want someone to suffer, it’s definitely because I don’t have enough love.

Love is a choice that requires action. It is also extremely powerful. It was love for God, and choosing to love my husband, that empowered me to stay married to him and take care of him when he’d have died if I’d walked away. Had God not empowered me to love him, I couldn’t have done it. People say they admire me for how I spent those last 12 years of his life, but it wasn’t me; it was God’s love working through me – because I let it, because I begged for it.

The other thing I asked God to do was give me a revelation of eternity so that I could really understand what it means when someone goes to Hell. Just sitting here thinking about the large numbers of people who are already there, and those who will be, has me in tears. Hell was not created for man, but for the fallen angels. Man chooses to go there when he refuses to accept Jesus’ work on the cross – and he has no idea what he’s doing.

Deception is the order of the day, and man has fallen for it so completely.

The world we live in is off the rails. In Matthew 24:37-39, Jesus talks about the last days and what this world will be like. “But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.” Take a look at Noah’s story in Genesis and you’ll see how depraved that world had become, and just how much our world today resembles it.

The bottom line is that God essentially decided to destroy everything and start over.

So He had Noah build the boat, got Noah’s family and a bunch of animals in the boat, and shut the door. Yes, God shut the door; once the decision was made no one was permitted to change their minds. And right up until the rain started to fall, the people ignored Noah and his God, carrying on with their own, sinful lives. Yeah, much like today.

And much like those people, by their own choice, were left outside in the flood, a great multitude of people will be left here on Earth when the Church is called away. This event will be just as unexpected as the other, as Jesus said in verse 39, they “knew not until the flood came, and took them all away.”

Here’s the reality, after the Rapture of the Church those who are left behind will see hell on earth. The devil will have his opportunity to set up his kingdom just like he wants it, and he’ll subjugate everyone. He’ll only have seven years to do his evil work, but he’ll make the most of the time he’s given, and pretty much everyone on Earth will end up worshipping him.

Yes, most of those who remain here, according to prophecy, will end up in Hell. And if they do get saved, their lives, until they are martyred, will be hell on earth.

So yes, getting back to that original flashback, while I do pray, “Maranatha!,” which can be translated as, “Come quickly, Lord Jesus!,” I also pray, “But God, please, save every soul you can possibly save before calling us home.”

Because I don’t want anyone, ANYONE, to go to Hell. It’s not just a limited prison sentence. They won’t do time for a while and then get released to Heaven. It’s FOREVER. And while forever is my favorite word because it’s holds so much promise, it is a painful word when I think of Hell and those who will go there. 

My husband spent many years not right with God. I’m sure that comes as no surprise to those who follow me. No matter how much he hurt me, I did not want him going to Hell, and I rejoice that he got right with God before the end. I have relatives and friends who have lost family members who were murdered. I don’t want those murderers going to Hell; I want them to get saved before they die!

Anything else would be ungodly, because God makes it clear in His Word that He wants the same.

Don’t go to Hell!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Complacency Leads to Neglect

At some point, I decided to start playing solitaire on my phone as a way to pass a few moments here and there and also to push my brain. It was hard, though, so I opted to start off easy, playing only one suit, and build up as I got better at it.

But I forgot my purpose. Once I mastered the single suit, I just kept playing at that level. I didn’t even work on increasing my speed or decreasing the number of moves I made. I just played the easy stuff to pass time.

I was complacent. No brain growth required.

Too often, we do the very same thing with our faith. We learn that faith is a necessity if we want to please God, so we “put our faith out there” for something. It may even be a legitimate stretch for us to trust God to shut down a headache or lead us to the best parking spot. But then we grow comfortable in that level of faith. We think we’re walking by faith because we always park up front and center, but forget that faith is like a muscle and must be stretched to grow.

Just like I got comfortable at the level I’d chosen for my solitaire games, and as a result I’d forgotten that a large part of playing the game in the first place was to push my brain, we get comfortable with our faith level and forget that a large part of using our faith is to push it, to stretch it, to make it grow, and to build its endurance.

“Endurance?” you ask? Yes, endurance. I heard a man point out, once, that one of the meanings of “little,” as in Jesus referring to people having “little faith,” is “short lived” or “not lasting.” In other words, sometimes we start out walking in faith just like Peter started out walking on the water, but then when our trials get more challenging and the wind blows stronger we are distracted and start to sink. That is a lack of endurance.

So, just like we should exercise to build our physical endurance, we should use our faith actively to build its endurance. Then, when it is challenged, it will keep holding us up.

I did start adding more suits to my solitaire games. I’m also determined to work more on my physical strength and endurance. My faith? Right. It will definitely not be neglected!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Carry Your Own Cross

“And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me,
you cannot be my disciple.”

Luke 14:27 NLT

I’m reading through the book of Luke in preparation for Christmas, and after much thought decided I needed to back up to this verse for a bit.

We celebrate Christmas in honor of Jesus, who is the greatest gift. He came, by His own choice, to die so that we could live. It’s important to note that He didn’t come to bring salvation as it is sometimes casually viewed – essentially a get out of jail free card. He came so that we can LIVE. We aren’t only looking forward to eternity in His presence, but to a full and abundant life right here, a life that counts where His Kingdom is concerned.

Foundational to living, truly living, is being His disciple. Those who heard Him that day, in Luke 14, knew exactly what He was saying when He used the word “disciple.” To be someone’s disciple is to follow their example in all things. It is also to accept and act on their instruction and guidance as they strive to help you mature. Jesus was actually making the offer to all who heard Him, but few would accept the invitation. Why?

In verse 28 He commanded them, “But don’t begin until you count the cost.”

This is wisdom, as He warned in Luke 9:62 NLT: “But Jesus told him, ‘Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.'”

Jesus had already let them know in verse 26 that, if they wanted to be His disciples, they had to count Him as more important than everyone else in their lives, including themselves. And then came verse 27: “And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.”

This verse is quoted so often than I’m not sure we really see it anymore, that we’re not paying full attention to what He’s saying here. I even remember thinking, during one of the really bad times with my husband, “If he is my cross to bear, then I will bear it,” but this verse means so much more!

“But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the Law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse of our wrong doing. For it is written in the Scriptures, ‘Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.‘”

Galatians 3:13 NLT

As Christians, we look at this verse and we love it. And why not?! This amazing act of mercy, Christ taking all of our sins on Himself, washing them away with His own blood, changed our lives forever!

But let’s go back to the gathering in Luke 14 and think about where their heads were, where their thoughts must have gone. They couldn’t see what was coming. They were limited by their own knowledge and experience. In their world a cross served one purpose, and Jesus had just told them they would have to take up a cross that would be particularly their own. They wouldn’t be helping Him carry His cross as Simon the Cyrene was forced to do. He was asking each of them to take up their own cross.

This had to set them back, throw them for the proverbial loop. Because they knew.

They knew…
The cross was a sign of being cursed.
The cross was a very public tool of death.
The cross was a clear mark that you were a criminal.
The cross was intentionally demoralizing.
The cross was a cause of shame for the criminal’s family.
The cross was physically backbreaking before you were even put on it.
The cross was an incredibly slow and agonizing death.

If anyone wanted to be His disciple, they had to accept the reality that the cross, at least figuratively, could very well be in their future. Far from offering them the life of comfort many were currently enjoying, the life His abundant miracles might have implied, the life of sunshine and roses that Christians sometimes foolishly promise to potential converts today, He was laying out a heavy truth.

And here it is.

As Christians, genuine disciples of Jesus, while we look forward to the mountaintop experiences, it’s best to be prepared for the hard seasons that will inevitably come, to consider the cost ahead of time and be ready so that we won’t be tempted to look back. Like Jesus, we can expect to be hated, vilified, attacked unmercifully, laughed at, and more.

So… are you ready?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Thankful for the Hard Things

I’ve explained before that God uses the trials and tribulations in our lives, that even the hard times can result in great good if we let God lead us through them. Growth is usually part of the good, as is the gaining of tools. Today I’m thanking God for turning my most recent trial into a tool.

I had already made some definite lifestyle changes before I had the TIA (mini-stroke) last month. I’d cut way back on sugar, dropped sodas almost completely, and begun intermittent fasting to help me gain control of my eating habits in hopes of losing weight.

I’d also started taking some very important supplements. If you read my post Tired of Exhaustion?, you’ve heard of them. Both are from Solle Naturals; they’re Vital and Cinnamate. Oh, and I’d started on Terry Naturally’s Adrenaplex. I started it because it helps your adrenals, and that helps with hormone issues. I’ve since discovered that it’s helping me with a lot more!

So when I had the TIA, I was already on the right course. My A1C was 5.9, which was a bit of a surprise, but since I was already a few weeks into multiple products that help control sugar issues (plus I’d made my dietary changes), it didn’t concern me much. When we discussed my cholesterol numbers, pretty much everything that was suggested I already do-or don’t do since I neither drink nor smoke.

I was able to assure the counselor that I did all the right things until she said, “Cut back on processed foods.” My sister instantly spoke up. “Oh, she’s bad about that! But she’s going to start eating with me!” I didn’t hesitate to publicly accept that offer! Now I just eat like a queen and give her most of what I used to spend on groceries. Win! The only other facet that needs attention is exercise, and I’m working on becoming more serious about that.

So yes, there are lots of great changes being made. I’ve since discovered that at least one of those supplements I take for other things helps with cholesterol as well, so I’m at a double win. And of course I’m taking what the doctor prescribed.

Back to the TIA and why I’m thanking God for it. You see, I know me, and I am well aware that as I get farther down the road I tend to forget the importance of what I’m doing. I forget to buy a supplement and forget why I was taking it in the first place. I forget why I got off sodas and pick them back up again. (I’ve done that so many times!) I forget all too easily.

But this time I have a tool. Its name is TIA. I thank God often that it was only a TIA, that there is no permanent damage, and I thank Him that it now stands in front of me as a clear warning to stay the course. It could have been a full-blown stroke, but it wasn’t. It was a warning I won’t forget.

Was it a trial? Yes. Am I honestly thanking God for it? Yes. Has it helped me grow? Also yes. Thank God!

I hope you’re having a blessed Thanksgiving.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

But Do You KNOW Jesus?

I asked Jesus, “Why are you crying?”
He answered, “So many are pretending.”

This really happened, during worship, at my church. Jesus was crying. No, I couldn’t see it with my eyes, but it was truly as if He were standing in front of me, looking over my shoulder with tears running down His face. I asked Him “Why?” twice before He answered me.

Are you like those who were making Him cry? Are you pretending? Do you go through the Christian motions thinking you’ve got all your bases covered while your heart is actually turned elsewhere?

Jesus, in Luke 6:46 (NLT), says, “So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say?” That is a profound question, and one that demands an answer. If we’re not doing what He’s saying, He is not our Lord. And if He isn’t our Lord, can He be our Savior?

This is hard, I know, but I’m seriously concerned about the Church. Anyone who has even a tiny bit of understanding of the times we’re living in, just a little bit of knowledge about End Times prophecy, can see clearly that we are on borrowed time. We are rushing toward the Tribulation at warp speed. Those who prefer to ignore End Times prophecy and toss off the same old, “People have been saying that my whole life,” are in grave danger.

Yes, I firmly believe in the Rapture of the Church, specifically in the pre-Tribulation Rapture of the Church. My conviction has me praying constantly for people to be saved. I don’t want ANYONE to go through the Tribulation, even though I know the majority will.

“What if you’re wrong?” you may ask. Ok, what if I am wrong?

If I’m wrong then I go through the Tribulation too, or at least half of it. My faith is and always will be in God, and I know that He will keep me in all things; yes, even to death. So, if I go through the Tribulation, I go through it standing firmly on the Rock of my Salvation, having built my house on the Rock. (Read the rest of Luke 6 if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

But what of the others? If you think it’s hard to live for God now… You’ve not seen anything yet.

Salvation is not just saying a prayer and accepting a “Get out of Hell free” card. Jesus is to be our Lord and Savior. He is LORD. What does that mean? It means He reigns supreme. If Jesus is my Lord, HE rules my life – not me. If He is my Lord, I do my utmost to always ensure my ways please Him. (Do I fail? Yes, and when I do I repent!)

How do I do that? Relationship! Get to KNOW Him. I do that through actively staying the Bible. (Jesus and the Word are one. Did you know that?) I do it by praying, by having an ongoing, ACTIVE relationship with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I do it by being actively in church – not just filling a pew and pretending, but by truly taking part in all that is church.

It’s nearly impossible to truly, consistently, please someone, to do what they want you to do, if you’re not close enough to them to learn their heart and voice. Pretend all you want, and you may fool those in the pews around you, but when the rubber meets the road, when it’s time to be caught away, it will be those whom Jesus KNOWS who hear the call.

Should that call come, should the Rapture happen and you find yourself still standing in a (hopefully) mostly empty church, repent, turn to God, and get just as close to Him as you possibly can, because the next seven years will be worse than anything you could possibly imagine, and those who don’t turn to God will fall in with the devil and the Antichrist. That road leads straight to Hell.

But don’t make that necessary. Don’t miss out, I implore you. If you don’t know Jesus, you can accept Him as your Savior and Lord right now. If you’ve known Him, but have backed away, you can repent right now. No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, He stands ready to accept your repentant heart and wash it in His own blood.

Some people think God hates the world, but He loves us all so much that He asked Jesus to die for us. And Jesus loves us so much that He did.

Accepting Salvation is simple. Just open up your mouth and talk to God. Let Him know that you accept the sacrifice that was made for you on the cross, and that you are unconditionally HIS. If you are uncomfortable right now and want to “cover all the bases” of prayer, you can say something like…

God, I know you love me, that you love me so much You asked Jesus to step down out of Heaven and live like me, facing every temptation I would ever face. And He never failed You. His birth was a miracle, His life was filled with miracles, He lived without ever committing even one sin so that He would be the perfect sacrifice you needed to make me right with You. I repent of my sins right now and accept you, Jesus, as my personal Savior and my Lord. I choose to serve You, not myself, and I ask You to help me walk every day doing what you tell me to do. I am determined to be right with you when you return to take your Church home. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Friend, I urge you, focus every day on getting to know Him better and better. A thousand years from now, it won’t matter who won the Word Series or what your paycheck was. What will matter will be who held your heart while you waited.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

I Don’t Believe It!

I recently read an article by Aphantasia Network entitled “John Green Aphantasia Discovery: Shining a Light on the Mind’s Eye.” It’s a fascinating article that I highly recommend.

In the article it appears, if I’m reading a particular quote correctly, that one aphant (One who has aphantasia) firmly believes that no one can truly visualize, seeing pictures or movies in their minds, that the problem must simply be an inability to properly communicate the way our brains work.

The bottom line being that, again if I’m reading the quote correctly, because he can’t see anything, has no visual imagination at all, then no one else does either. 

When I read that part of the article, I immediately thought back to a comment on one of my earliest Facebook posts in which an “expert” assured me that aphantasia isn’t real and of course I don’t have a permanent inability to vizualize. According to that person, I simply never trained my mind, and if I were willing to put forth the necessary effort I could develop my visual imagination. I didn’t even bother to respond to her because I knew she had no idea what she was talking about. Because she couldn’t see the condition, the condition didn’t exist; she didn’t believe in it.

After that memory asserted itself, I made a random connection. This is precisely the difference between those who have a relationship with God and those who don’t believe God exists. I have a relationship with God, and I know He exists just as surely as I know I’m a five on the aphantasia scale. Those who don’t know God can, and often do, refuse to believe He exists.

Whether or not I believe something doesn’t alter truth.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Trifecta – Lessons Learned

If you’ve heard my story before, stick with me anyway. Please.

My life, until shortly before I turned 19, was filled with worry. I cannot sufficiently express how completely the worry consumed me. It was so bad, so constant, that it felt normal. And then the pastor of the church God had led me to only months (weeks?) earlier had an altar call for those battling worry.

I was there. So were many others. We lined the altar, standing shoulder to shoulder. Pastor Ronnie started at the end to my right; he prayed for people and they went to sit down. Pray, return to seat. Pray, return to seat. Pray, return to seat. And then there was Tammy.

He stopped in front of me, met my eyes, and said, “Stay right here.”

WHAT?!

Maybe you can imagine how I felt standing there. Worry was obviously a factor. What?! Why?! What was he going to do? Why was I different? How long did I wait? I was so far beyond all kinds of awkward that I have pretty clear memories of those relative hours I spent watching more and more people be prayed for and return to their seats.

After what felt like a month, he came back to me. He was completely serious, and kind, and loving as he stood before this 18-year-old girl he was only just getting to know. We never discussed this moment later, so I don’t know what he was thinking, but I know for a fact that he understood two things.

1. He was aware that my issue was beyond normal worry, that there was a spirit of worry he’d have to deal with.

2. He knew that my brain would need extra help.

As he stood in front of me, he had me hold out my arms. Then he took off his suit jacket and laid it across them. Again looking me in the eyes, he said, “I want you to imagine a river of blood running at your feet. I’m going to pray for you, and when I finish you’re going to drop my jacket. Think of it as your worries and see them disappear under that blood. And realize you’ll have to reach through the blood to pick them up again.”

Now, it’s been over 40 years, so obviously that’s not an exact quote, but you get the idea. He prayed. I don’t remember what he prayed, though I’m sure part of it was dealing with that spirit of worry, then he said amen and I dropped the jacket. I was free. I knew something big had just happened.

And now to why I entitled this “The Trifecta.” Pastor Ronnie, like Moses, did his part. God, just as was true in Egypt, did His part; He delivered me out of bondage to worry. Now it was time for me to do my part, to get the worry out of me.

I look back and I am so grateful! In comparing my walk to that of the Jews entering the desert, I see how easily I could have returned to letting worry rule over me, to go back to sacrificing myself on its altar. I didn’t in part because a wise man of God knew that I needed a tool, something to remind me that in order to carry the worry again I had to reach through the blood of Jesus to pick it up.

Once the spirit of worry was dealt with, the choice was mine, and it was an every day, every hour choice that I had to actively make. It is a choice I still have to actively, consistently make. In fact, I wrote a post not long ago entitled, “Drop It,” where I shared the new tool God had given me to help me deal with worry as well as a few other things. The devil knows what worked on me before, so he often tries to work the same tactic again. (Remember this when God delivers you from any addiction.)

Jesus said something along the lines of, “Don’t be afraid,” 365 times, and worry is a form of fear. So yes, He is well aware that it’s something we all deal with and yes, He is telling us it is something we can control.

For me, I kind of think it’s like Paul’s thorn in the flesh. God never removed that thorn, whatever it was, but He gave Paul the grace to deal with it. “My grace is sufficient for you,” God said in 2nd Corinthians 12:9. In 2nd Corinthians 9:8 we are told that God can cause all grace to abound towards us so we have every sufficiency for every good work. He gives us what we need to overcome.

Now, I will step to the side a second and say this. Sometimes He gives us the tool called medicine. A couple of times in the past 13 or so years, I spent a few months on antidepressants, and for years I carried a bottle of anti-anxiety medication with me. My occasional need for the anti-anxiety meds ended shortly after my husband passed away (which kind of makes clearer the stress I lived under). I am grateful that I had the medical help I needed when I needed it.

So, to bring this web-bound book to a close, when we need big things in our lives, it’s a team effort. God must be in the mix, a minister or other faith-filled believer may be needed, and we will have to do our part. Our part involves walking by faith, and that faith will require us to make the right choices and do the right things.

The three working together? That’s powerful!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

American Women: Ann H. Judson

ANN H. JUDSON

God has a bright example made of thee,
To show that womankind may be
Above that sex which her superior seems,
                                                           Cowley.

About the commencement of the present century, a new field was opened for the display of Christian heroism. The despairing wail of the pagan millions of the East, had reached the ears of a few of the most devoted people of God on these Western shores, and the question arisen, Who shall lead the way to heathen realms, who among us first encounter the perils of an attempt to plant the standard of the Cross beside the pagodas of Buddhism? He who would then go forth, must leave his native land with the parting benediction of but few friends; must be accompanied with few and faint prayers; must make his own path through the tiger-haunted jungles, and face alone the untried dangers of a dubious assault on the strongholds of pagan superstition. But, notwithstanding the discouragements inwoven with the contemplation of the undertaking, and the great peril that must attend its completion, it was magnanimous and sublime, and there were hearts in the land philanthropic enough to embark in it and brave enough to face its terrors without fainting.

Among the foremost Americans who offered their services in this work, were the Rev. Adoniram Judson and his wife. They embarked from Salem, Massachusetts, for Calcutta, with Samuel Newell and lady, on the nineteenth of February, 1812: and five days afterwards Messrs. Hall and Nott, with their wives, and Mr. Rice, sailed from Philadelphia for the same place. The names of these pioneer missionaries are sacred to the memory of all living Christians, and, being embodied in the history of the grandest enterprise of the age, are to be handed down to all future generations.

While all the female portion of this little band, exhibited many excellent traits of character, and worked well while their day lasted, no other one endured so many and so great hardships and trials, encountered such fearful perils, and had such an opportunity to test the strength of the higher virtues, as Mrs. Judson.

Ann Hasseltine was born at Bradford, in Essex county, Massachusetts, on the twenty-second day of December, 1789. She was an active and enthusiastic. child; of a gay disposition, yet thoughtful at times; and before she was seventeen, gave religion that attention which its importance demands.

She became acquainted with Mr. Judson in 1810. He was then a student in the Andover Theological Seminary, preparing for the work of foreign missions A mutual and strong attachment sprang up, and they were married in February, 1812, two weeks before their embarkation for India.

Mr. and Mrs. Judson first halted at Serampore. There, soon after their arrival, they were immersed by an English missionary, having changed their views of the ordinance of baptism on the long voyage across the Atlantic and Indian oceans. From that place they were soon driven by the Directors and Agents of the British East India Company, who were at that time opposed to the introduction of the Christian religion into those parts. They sailed from Madras for Rangoon, on the twenty-second of June, 1813, and settled at the latter place.

From the commencement of missionary toil, Mrs. Judson had many inconveniencies to encounter, but they were met with patience and served to strengthen that energy which, it will be seen, was afterwards so much needed and so strikingly displayed. Four or five years after settling at Rangoon, Mr. Judson went to Chittagong, in a neighboring province, to secure help, some Arracanese converts being there, who spoke the Burman language. He expected to return within three months. “At the expiration of this period, however, when his return was daily expected, a vessel from Chittagong arrived at Rangoon, bringing the distressing intelligence that neither he nor the vessel in which he had embarked had been heard of at that port. Similar tidings were also contained in letters which Mrs. Judson received from Bengal.

“While the missionaries were in this state of fearful suspense, an incident occurred which was well calculated to increase the perplexity and dismay in which they were plunged. Mr. Hough,* who had continued quietly studying the language at the mission house, was suddenly summoned to appear immediately at the court house, and it was rumored among the affrighted domestics and neighbors who followed the officers that came for Mr. Hough, that the king had issued a decree for the banishment of all the foreign teachers. It was late in the afternoon when he made his appearance before the despotic tribunal that was charged with the execution of the imperial decree, and he was merely required to give security for his appearance the following morning; when, as the unfeeling magistrates declared, ‘if he did not tell all the truth relative to his situation in the country, they would write with his heart’s blood. Mr. Hough was detained from day to day on the most flimsy pretences, himself unable to speak the language, and with no one near him who would attempt to explain his situation or vindicate his objects and his conduct. The viceroy whom Mr. and Mrs. Judson had known, had recently been recalled to Ava, and he who now held the reins of the government was a stranger, and, as his family were not with him, Mrs. Judson, according to the etiquette of the court, could not be admitted to his presence. The order which had led to the arrest was found to relate to some Portuguese priests whom the king had banished, and Mr. Hough was at first summoned to give assurance that he was not one of the number, and then detained by the officers in order to extort money for his ransom. He was at length released by order of the viceroy, to whom Mrs. Judson boldly carried the cause and presented a petition which she had caused her teacher to draw up for the purpose.

“The anxiety occasioned by this arrest and its train of petty annoyances, and still more by the protracted and mysterious absence of Mr. Judson, was at this time greatly increased by rumors which reached Rangoon, of an impending war between the English and the Burman governments. There were but few English vessels lying in the river, and the English traders who were in the country were closing their business and preparing to hasten away, at any new indications of hostilities that should be presented. The condition of the missionaries was rendered still more distressing by the ravages of the cholera, which now, for the first time made its appearance in Burmah, and was sending its terrors throughout the empire. The poor people of Rangoon fell in hundreds before its frightful progress. The dismal death-drum continually gave forth its warning sound as new names were added to the melancholy list of victims to the desolating malady. In these gloomy circumstances, they saw ship after ship leave the river, bearing away all the foreigners who were in the province, until at length the only one remaining was on the eve of sailing. Harassed with doubts concerning the uncertain fate of Mr. Judson, and surrounded with perils, they saw before them what appeared the last opportunity of leaving the country, before the threatened hostilities should begin, and they should be exposed to all the merciless cruelties of barbarian warfare.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hough decided to go on board and escape to Bengal, while escape was still in their power, and they urged Mrs. Judson to accompany them. She at length reluctantly yielded to their advice, and with a heart burdened with sorrows she embarked with her companions, on the fifth of July, in the only ship that remained to carry them from the country. The ship, however, was delayed for several days in the river, and was likely to be subjected to still further detention. Mrs. Judson, who had gone on board rather in obedience to the entreaties of her associates, and the dictates of prudence, than from the suggestions of that truer instinct which often serves to guide the noblest natures in great emergencies, now decided to leave the ship and return alone to the mission house, there to await either the return of her husband, or the confirmation of her worst fears respecting his fate. It was a noble exhibiton of heroic courage, and gave assurance of all the distinguished qualities which, at a later period and amid dangers still more appalling, shone with unfailing brightness around the character of this remarkable woman. The event justified her determination; and, within a week after her decision was taken, Mr. Judson arrived at Rangoon, having been driven from place to place by contrary winds and having entirely failed of the object for which he undertook the voyage.”**

In the summer of 1890, Mrs. Judson’s health had become so far undermined by the deleterious influences of the climate, that it was deemed necessary that she should go to Calcutta for medical advice, better physicians being located there than in Rangoon. She was so feeble that her husband was obliged to accompany her. She was soon removed to Serampore, where were eminently skillful physicians and a purer atmosphere. Her health so improved in six months that she returned with her husband to Rangoon. The malady which had afflicted her was the chronic liver complaint. It was not entirely removed at Serampore, and a few months after her return, it began to distress her more than ever. It was now thought that nothing but a visit to her native land could save her. Accordingly, on the twenty-first of August, 1891, she started for Calcutta, where, after some delay, she found a ship bound to England, by which route she returned, reaching New York on the twenty-fifth of September, 1822.

She remained in this country nine months, During that short period, aside from paying a visit to her relations, she attended the Triennial Convention at Washington, held in May, 1823; visited the larger cities North and South; attended numerous meetings of female associations; and prepared a history of the Burman mission which was so ably written that even the London Quarterly Review, and, if we mistake not, other English periodicals of high critical character, noticed it in commendatory terms.

The following extracts from letters written to Dr. Wayland while in this country, show the interest she took in the affairs of Burmah while absent from that land of her adoption. Under date of “Baltimore, January twenty-second, 1823,” she says, “I want the Baptists throughout the United States to feel, that Burmah must be converted through their instrumentality. They must do more than they have ever yet done. They must pray more, they must give more, and make greater efforts to prevent the Missionary flame from becoming extinct. Every Christian in the United States should feel as deeply impressed with the importance of making continual efforts for the salvation of the heathen, as though their conversion depended solely on himself. Every individual Christian should feel himself guilty if he has not done and does not continue to do all in his power for the spread of the gospel and the enlightening of the heathen world. But I need not write thus to you. You see, you feel the misery of the heathen world. Try to awaken Christians around you. Preach frequently on the subject of Missions. I have remarked it to be the case, when a minister feels much engaged for the heathen, his people generaly partake of his spirit.”

Writing from Washington in the following March she says, “I long to be in Rangoon, and am anxiously hoping to get away in the spring. Do make inquiries relative to the sailing of ships from Boston and Salem. I must not miss one good opportunity.”

With her health much improved though not fully restored, she sailed for her Burman home on the twenty-second of June, 1823, and reached Rangoon on the fifth of the following December. She found the work of the mission prospering. The next year, however, a war broke out between the Burman government and the English in Bengal, and, not only suspended the operations of the missionaries, but jeopardised their lives. They were supposed to be spies employed by the English government. Mr. and Mrs. Judson, with Dr. Price, another of the missionaries, were at that time at Ava, where the imperial government of the Burman Empire had just been removed.

“It was on the eighth of June, 1824, that a company of Burmans, headed by an officer, and attended by a ‘spotted-faced son of the prison,’ came to the mission house, and, in the presence of Mrs. Judson seized her husband and Dr. Price, and after binding them tight with cords, drove them away to the court house. From this place they were hurried, by order of the king, without examination, to a loathsome dungeon, known as ‘the death prison,’ where along with the other foreigners they were confined, each loaded with three pairs of fetters and fastened to a long pole, so as to be incapable of moving. Meanwhile, Mrs. Judson was shut up in her house, deprived of her furniture and of most of her articles of property, and watched for several days by an unfeeling guard, to whose rapacious extortions and brutal annoyances she was constantly exposed, without being able to make any exertion for the liberation of the prisoners, or the mitigation of their cruel sentence. She however, at length succeeded in addressing a petition to the governor of the city, who had the prisoners in charge. By a present of one hundred dollars to his subordinate officer, their condition was somewhat meliorated, and by the unwearied perseverance of Mrs. Judson, and her affecting appeals to the sympathies of the governor, he was induced to grant her occasional permission to go to the prison, and at length to build for herself a bamboo shed in the prison yard, where she took up her abode, in order that she might prepare food for the prisoners, and otherwise minister to their necessities.

“At the end of nine months they were suddenly removed from Ava to Amarapura, and thence to a wretched place several miles beyond, called Oung-pen-la, where it was arranged that they should be put to death in presence of the pakah-woon, as a kind of sacrifice in honor of his taking command of a new army of fifty thousand men about to march against the English. This sanguinary chief had been raised from a low condition to the rank of woongyee; but in the height of his power, just as he was about to march at the head of the army he had mustered, he fell into disgrace, was charged with treason, and executed, at an hour’s notice, with the unqualified approbation of all classes of people at Ava. His timely execution saved the missionaries from the fate which hung over them, and they were left uncared for in the miserable cells of Oung-pen-la, till the near approach of the English to the capitol induced the king to send for Mr. Judson, to accompany the embassy that was about to start for the English camp, for the purpose of averting the destruction that now threatened the Golden City.

“During this period of a year and a half Mrs. Judson followed them from prison to prison, beneath the darkness of night and the burning sun of noon-day, bearing in her arms her infant daughter, – the child of sorrow and misfortune, who was born after the imprisonment of its father, – procuring for them food which Burman policy never supplies to prisoners, and perpetually interceding for them with their successive keepers, with the governor of the city, with the kinsmen of the monarch, and the members of the royal household. More than once the queen’s brother gave orders that they should be privately put to death; but such was the influence which Mrs. Judson possessed over the mind of the governor, that he evaded the order each time it was given, and assured her that for her sake he would not execute her husband, even though he was obliged to execute all the others. And when at last they were to be taken from his jurisdiction and driven to the horid prison-house of Oung-pen-la, at the command of the pakah-woon, the old man humanely summoned Mrs. Judson from the prison where he had permitted her to go and sit with her husband, in order that she might be spared the pangs of a separation which he had not the power to prevent. Her own pen has traced, in lines that will never be forgotten by those who read them, the affecting history of the dismal days and nights of her husband’s captivity. We follow her alike with admiration and the deepest sympathy as she takes her solitary way from Ava, at first in a boat upon the river, and then in a Burman cart, in search of the unknown place to which the prisoners have been carried. At length, overcome with fatigue, with exposure, and the bitter pangs of, hope deferred, we see her in a comfortless cabin, prostrate with disease and brought to the very gates of death, -while her infant is carried about the village by its father in the hours of his occasional liberation, to be nourished by such Burman mothers as might have compassion on its helpless necessities.

“Such is a single scene from this melancholy record of missionary suffering. History has not recorded: poetry itself has seldom portrayed, a more affecting exhibition of Christian fortitude, of female heroism, and all the noble and generous qualities which constitute the dignity and glory of woman. In the midst of sickness and danger, and every calamity which can crush the human heart, she presented a character equal to the sternest trial, and an address and fertility of resources which gave her an ascendency over the minds of her most cruel enemies, and alone saved the missionaries and their fellow captives from the terrible doom which constantly awaited them. Day after day and amid the lonely hours of night was she employed in conciliating the favor of their keepers, and in devising plans for their release, or the alleviation of their captivity. Sometimes, she confesses, her thoughts would wander for a brief interval to America and the beloved friends of her better days; ‘but for nearly a year and a half, so entirely engrossed was every thought with present scenes and sufferings, that she seldom reflected on a single occurrence of her former life, or recollected that she had a friend in existence out of Ava.’ “***

When peace was declared between the two powers, by the terms of negotiation, the European prisoners were all released; and thus closed the long and brutal incarceration of the missionaries. Mr. and Mrs. Judson immediately departed for Rangoon. They soon removed to Amherst, a new town on the Salwen or Martaban river. After having established a mission there, Mr. Judson had occasion to visit Ava. He started on the fifth of July, 1826, leaving his wife and infant daughter in the care of kind friends. He was detained at the Capital longer than he had anticipated; and before he returned he received the painful intelligence that his wife was dead. “A remittent fever had settled on her constitution, already enfeebled by suffering and disease, and she died on the twenty-fourth of October, 1826, amid the universal sorrow, alike of the English residents at Amherst and of the native Christians who had gathered around her at her new home. Her infant daughter died a few weeks afterwards, and side by side they were laid to rest, under a large hopia tree a few rods from the house where she had resided. Two marble stones, procured by the contributions of several female friends in her native land, are the humble memorial that marks the spot where sleeps one whose “name will be remembered in the churches of Burmah, in future times, when the pagodas of Gaudama shall have fallen; when the spires of Christian temples shall gleam along the waters of the Irrawaddy and the Salwen: and when the ‘Golden City’ shall have lifted up her gates to let the King of Glory in.”

* Mr Elough was a printer in the employment of the Baptist Board

AUTHOR.

** Gammell’s History of American Baptist Missions

*** Gammell

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Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
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