Author: Tammy M Cardwell

Forgive Me

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I’ve been thinking some more about unforgiveness. I’m pretty good at forgiving. I try hard to give people the benefit of the doubt and accept them for what they are instead of having unrealistic expectations…to let go.

Other people, that is.

Forgiving myself is another matter entirely. It seems like every time I turn around God is saying, “Tammy, we’ve had this conversation before. I forgave you. If I forgave you, you can certainly forgive yourself.” Most recently, it was…

We’ve been over this. Holding onto your own past mistakes is twice as destructive as holding onto the mistakes of others… Don’t you realize how much Paul had to forgive himself for? You’ve never murdered anyone; he did. He had so much wrong in his life… but he was able to forgive himself so completely that he was able to stand before the very people he had been killing and say, “I have wronged no man.” And he meant it.

You are a new creation every time you ask me for forgiveness, Tammy. Let that old creature go!”

None of us are perfect. This is one fact we should always remember as we are put in positions were we need to forgive – especially when the ones needing forgiven are Me, Myself, and I.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Love One Another Part 4

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To continue my previous thoughts, I return to Matthew Henry.

Our love to one another must be free and ready, laborous and expensive, constant and persevering; it must be love to the souls one of another. We must also love one another from this nature, and upon this consideration – because Christ has loved us.

Just as Jesus told us when the widow gave her two mites, Matthew Henry reminds us that true love costs us something. It is easy for me to hug a friend and tell her I love her; it costs me something to take time out of a busy schedule to run her on errands when she can’t drive herself.

We should also love our brothers and sisters in Christ genuinely, as the individuals they are with all their faults and failures. I like how he puts it: “to the souls.”

Finally, he points out that this showing of love isn’t merely to be something we do, but it is to be part of our very nature because Christs has loved us.

Part of our nature…

Observe, we must have love, not only show love, but have it in the root and habit of it, and have it when there is not any present occasion to show it; have it ready.

And again…

When our brethren stand in need of help from us, and we have an opportunity of being service able to them, when they differ in opinion and practice from us, or are any ways rivals with or provoking to us, and so we have an occasion to condescend and forgive, in such cases as this it will be known whether we have this badge of Chris’s Disciples.

It’s a challenge; there’s no doubt about it. Even so, it is the love Jesus demonstrated for us, and since He said we can do all He did… We can do this!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Love One Another Part 3

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So, as Matthew Henry points out, Love is much more than hugs and words. Love requires more. Love requires action. 1 John 3:17-18 (CJB) says…

If someone has worldly possessions and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how can he be loving God? Children, let us love not with words and talk, but with actions and in reality.

I know a man who is astoundingly generous. he is one who would literally give the shirt off his back. Clearly, he has grasped this concept: “God so loved the world that He gave…” and God openly rewards him for his consistent generosity.

In studying the Jewish roots of Christianity, I have discovered tzedakah. Tzedakah is about performing acts of kindness, giving to those who cannot give back to you. If I remember correctly, the widow dropped her two mites into the tzedakah box…and we all know that Jesus noticed. No matter how little we have, if we determine to sow into the lives others, God will provide the seed. That seed may be money, but it may also be mowing a lawn, helping someone move, tutoring a child, or giving a caregiver an hour of respite. This…all of it…is love.

Love One Another: Part 2

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I asked myself, in Part 1, “If this were a test, would I pass?” Love is so much more than what the modern world makes it–what the church makes it.

One of the last things Matthew Henry says about this passage speaks a hard truth to us today.

That, if the followers of Christ do not love one another, they not only cast an unjust reproach upon their profession, but give just cause to suspect their own sincerity.

Let’s go beyond the obvious challenges of the church as a whole, with its denomination-based divisions, past the bickering that takes place within denominations themselves, into the heart of the local church, that one small part of THE Church. How many in each body genuinely love each other even in the most commonly accepted sense? When you consider how many show up at the last minute and leave at the first, never taking time to even get to know the rest of their church family, how can they love…really love? And the rest of us? I shudder to think how few of us love as completely as Jesus loved. I will be the first to confess that I don’t; if I did, He wouldn’t likely have led me into this study.

This is the livery of his family, the distinguishing character of his disciples; this he would have them noted for, as that wherein they excelled all others–their loving one another.

At one time, every wealthy family had its own livery, or uniform, that its servants wore. If a carriage drove up, anyone watching had a pretty good idea of who was inside simply because of the driver’s uniform. This is His desire for us, that our love for one another would be just as obvious to anyone who watches us, that it would be clear that, when we arrive, He has arrived as well.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Think Before You Throw

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Something happened this morning that reminded me of something really stupid that I did many years ago.

Okay, so it wasn’t STUPID…exactly…but it taught me a hard lesson.

I was cleaning and found what looked like a random piece of plastic–something off a toy, or perhaps from a makeup container. I didn’t think twice about it; I just threw it away.

It was probably months later that I realized I had casually thrown away the crystal from Jack’s grandfather’s pocket watch. To say I was crushed would understate matters. Jack forgave me long ago, may not even remember me doing it, but to this day just thinking about it makes me cringe.

How many things in this life do we throw away without really thinking about it? I’m not really talking about “things” anymore. I mean… Do we sometimes throw away relationships over what should be a temporary squabble? Do we throw away… Nah, the list would be endless, but you get the picture.

We need to stop and think, sometimes… “Is this really something that needs to be thrown away, or is there more value here than I’m seeing in this moment?”

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Love One Another: Part 1b

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* He reproved them for what was amiss.

This is one of the things on the list of how Jesus loved. I stumble at it.

Here it is put another way.

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.
Arnold H. Glasow

 

The fact is, I probably don’t get in people’s way enough. Now, I’m not talking about moaning and complaining here, or being mad at people and telling them how terrible they are. I’m talking about the love that it takes to go to your friend and tell him that what he’s doing isn’t right, and show him why in the Word of God.

For instance, if I know someone is harboring unforgiveness against someone else, love requires…or at least strongly suggests…that I at least try to help him get past the unforgiveness. Why? Because unforgiveness doesn’t damage the person you’re angry with; it damages you–and can do SERIOUS damage to your spiritual walk as well as your relationships with more than the one person.

But I have a problem with this type of “getting in the way:” I hate confrontation. I mean I HATE confrontation. David I am not; for all that I might have felt the same things, I’d not have wanted to confront the giant. I only want to go to people with good words, smiles, and hugs. The thing is…love sometimes requires more. Love often requires more. I’ve learned to receive this type of love – even if I don’t usually appreciate it in the moment – but I have yet to learn to consistently give it in the same way.

So how many times have I failed my friends by not helping them see their own weaknesses so they can work through them? God knows I appreciate it when my friends help me; why am I so weak that I don’t often have the courage to help them in like manner?

Confrontation as a part of love. As a parent, I know it’s true. As a sister in Christ… I’m learning.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Love One Another: Part 1

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By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:35 NIV

There is an expression: Charity begins at home. Obviously, Jesus believed this. These were some of the last words He spoke to His disciples–after Judas left the room–so we know it is a vitally important lesson He wanted them to learn, a command He expected them to obey.

I’ve never really used commentaries before, but I went to Matthew Henry’s Commentary this time and found he had much to say about this passage. One point he made was this: Since Jesus had told them that they were to love as He had loved them, we need to know how He loved them. Matthew Henry provides a list. Since I am “you,” the one He expects to show love for my brothers and sisters in Him, I read this as a checklist.

* He spoke kindly to them.
* He concerned Himself heartily for them, and for their welfare.
* He instructed them.
* He counseled them.
* He comforted them.
* He prayed with them and for them.
* He vindicated them when they were accused.
* He took their part when they were run down.
* He publicly owned them to be dearer to Him than His mother, or sister, or brother.
* He reproved them for what was amiss.
* He compassionately bore with their failings.
* He excused them.
* He made the best of them.
* He passed by many an oversight.
* He washed their feet.
* He lay down His life for them.

If this were a test, would I pass?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Essentials Oils… The Answer?

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Well, they’re not THE answer, for sure, but they are definitely part of the answer where our health is concerned. (speaking specifically here – mine and my husband’s health)

I first discovered essential oils in the late 80s. I was under a lot of stress that brought on the first (and last) bout with high blood pressure I’d ever experienced. My chiropractor informed me that I needed to get my stress level under control immediately, which prompted me to start researching natural remedies for stress.

Which, as any oiler probably suspects already, led me straight to lavender.

It worked. Wait… Because of FDA regulations I need to say here that I am NOT giving medical advice in any way, form, or fashion, nor am I making claims about lavender essential oil. All I can say is that I made one and only one change in my life at that point – and getting rid of the primary stressors was not the change. I began using lavender, and within a surprisingly short period of time I found myself actually able to handle the stressors that had been sending me over the edge.

I’ve been using oils off and on ever since. Thanks to its numerous benefits, Lavender has pretty well stayed in my cabinet, and Melaleuca (Tea Tree) oil has tended to hang out around our house as well. God’s made a lot available to us in the natural world; we just have to find it and learn how to use it properly.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Journey Begins

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At God’s prompting-okay, command-I have begun what may well be a year-long study on Love.

What a topic, right? I have a feeling most of us like to think we understand love, but deep inside know that this one word is too big for us. There is the fact that God is Love, which is immense. Then there is Jesus’ love, which Ephesians 3:19 tells us is “beyond all knowing.” (CJB)–though the author’s prayer is that we know it.

That passage is actually where I began my study. It leapt out at me as I was finishing my most recent read-through of the Bible. This is from the Complete Jewish Bible (CJB), Ephesians 3:17b-19.

Also I pray that you will be rooted and founded in love,
so that you, with all God’s people, will be given strength
to grasp the breadth, length, height and depth of the Messiah’s love,
yes, to know it, even though it is beyond all knowing,
so that you will be filled with all the fullness of God.

So there it is. My goal is to see this prayer answered in me, to be rooted and founded in love, to know His love so that I can be filled with all the fullness of God.

It is going to be a journey, and I invite you to come along.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C