You reach for the door handle and it breaks. In that first instant you may think you’re stuck in your car with no way out. Of course, you realize quickly that you can roll down the window and open the door from the outside, or even slide over and exit on the passenger side. Either way, you do have an escape route.

When this happened today, it started me thinking or, rather, remembering. Waaaaay back in the olden days, before cordless phones and caller ID, when the phone rang so seldom that you always went running to catch it, my boyfriend and I were alone in the house and got a little carried away.

But EVERY time we went too far in the wrong direction, the phone rang, and EVERY time it rang the person on the other end hung up as soon as I answered. After the fourth or fifth time, we realized we were in danger of being late somewhere and I had the sense to insist on us rushing to get ready to leave.

It was some time after this that I discovered 1 Corinthians 10:13.

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (NKJV)

What happened that day was clearly God making a way of escape for me, and it is a lesson I have never forgotten. If I give in to temptation, it’s because I ignore the escape routes He has opened for me.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

I cannot even wrap my head around the number of families who have lost everything to Harvey’s onslaught. I am surrounded by devastation as I sit in my minimally-affected apartment. To all of you, I want to say…

* I have been you.

* It will get better.

* Good can come out of the sorrow.

I clearly remember the day we moved into our new apartment with almost no belongings and exactly one piece of furniture. We’d lost pretty much everything and spent our first night lying on a blanket on the floor of an apartment with no electricity.

But we were both alive. We were together. We were going to make it.

I won’t lie to you. Every time I turned around in those early months I thought of yet another thing I would never see again and I’d hurt. I’d spend precious money on something I ought not have to be buying, and I’d get resentful. Christmas came around and I only got a tree and decorations because my boss pushed me to; I was glad I did.

But it did get better. As time went on, I discovered that my attitude was changing. I shifted from sternly telling myself, “Tammy, they’re only things!” to saying in wonder, “They really are only things!”

I’m not sure how to explain it, but at some point, maybe the next year, a day came when I realized I’d begun to feel positively liberated. As strange as it sounds, I’d been bound by stuff and had no idea. True, many of the things we lost represented memories, but a representative is not the memory itself-and the memories are still there.

Yes, I actually reached a place, after that forced downsizing, where I could feel grateful even for the loss. I… I can only explain it by saying I felt like I could breathe again-though I’d not known I was being suffocated at all.

When something similar happened a few years later, I walked down the same path again – hurt, anger, acceptance, forgiveness… This process has taught me that, as sure as we’ll one day cast aside our mortal bodies and not look back, we can have everything taken away from us here and come out better. I have – twice.

Well, I should qualify. With God, with Jesus, with the Holy Spirit, I have come out better. Without them, I don’t know what would have happened, but with them all things are truly possible.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

I’ve yet to find the official number for traffic fatalities in Texas in 2015, but I can tell you this: It is short by 3. 

My husband, nephew, and I were in a wreck in December that, by all rights, should have killed all three of us. My nephew, by an astounding miracle, literally walked away from the accident and spent the rest of the evening with the family while my husband and I were taken to the closest trauma center. Both of us are still under the care of various doctors; we’ve been averaging 5 doctor visits every week. Yes, it’s getting old, but that’s beside the point. 

The point is we should have died. I’ve only looked at pictures of the car once, because I had to in order to fill out some paperwork. Seeing it made me physically ill. In those first few moments of realizing Jack wasn’t in the car, I was sure he’d been killed when he was thrown out. The only thing that kept me from running to him was my inability to move. I still don’t know how I managed to swing my left leg out of the car; it certainly wasn’t letting me do anything with it after I got it there. 

I’ve learned a lot in the recovery process. I’ve learned that massive painkillers followed by surgery anesthesia can mess with you in many ways. There are chunks of those first those first few weeks that are just gone, others that can be dredged up only with help, and still others I know can’t be accurate memories. I have no idea how many conversations came to an abrupt halt when, in the middle of a sentence, I could not remember what word I was going to use next. 

I also learned that depression after surgery is a VERY real thing. There were points at which it was so bad that I pretty much asked God where He got off forcing us to survive the accident when He could have let us die. (Seriously, watch over your loved ones prayerfully after surgery! I never said a word to anyone about the depression I was fighting.)

But I learned something else, too. I learned that it was against all odds that He DID cause all three of us to survive. I learned that, if He caused all of us to survive then there must be a reason, a purpose. It sounds glib, but I learned that it’s true: God really isn’t finished with us…with any of us. 

In Philippians 1:21-24 (NKJV), Paul says, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and to be with Christ, which is far better. Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you.”

Even without the depression I fought for a while, I do long for the day when I can literally stand in His presence, and the thought of dying really doesn’t bother me. BUT, I also understand, with Paul, that each of us has assignments here, and if we leave before completing them then there is work being left undone. 

So I’m here to stay until He says so, and while I’m here I recommit myself to fulfilling His plans and purposes in keeping me here. I won’t JUST live. I will remember that for me, to live is Christ. 

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C