“It’s good to see you like this,” she said. “It’s not normal for anyone to be happy all the time.”

I had thought she was my friend. Her delight in my pain—during what I’ve since recognized as a nervous breakdown—left me stunned.

The truth is that until that season of my life I had always been a happy person. Even though my husband’s behavior was becoming increasingly destructive, I walked in joy most of the time. All of that changed when God gave me a direct command…

and I told Him, “No.”

It wasn’t until recently—while reading The Force of Joy by Alexandria Flint—that I began to understand what had really happened.

We’ve all heard the phrase “the joy of the Lord is your strength” from Nehemiah 8:10. Nehemiah is encouraging Jerusalem’s inhabitants as they grieve over how they’ve sinned against God. He’s assuring them that there is hope.

Alexandria, in the very first pages of her book, digs into the Hebrew words that have been translated as “joy” and “strength.” And these words don’t mean what you probably think they mean!

Multiple Hebrew words are translated as joy in the Old Testament, but this word, chedvah, is special. It’s only used three times: In 1 Chronicles 16:27, Nehemiah 8:10, and Ezra 6:16. Unlike the other Hebrew words that refer to outward expressions of joy, Chedvah refers to the overflowing delight that comes only from being in God’s presence.

I love the way Alexandria explains it:

Think of it like this: chedvah is a deep root system buried in the richness of God’s character, and all those other expressions of joy (simchah, sasson, gil) are the flowers that bloom from that root. You can have beautiful flowers for a season, but if there’s no root system, the first storm that rages by will wipe them out.

The more I thought about chedvah, particularly in reference to that horrible season of my life, the more I understood why 1) I’d always been such a happy person and 2) I suddenly was not.

I’d always been happy because I intentionally lived close to God. I stayed in His presence through prayer, reading my Bible, worship… And being constantly in His presence—the very source of joy—I lived joyously.

But, on the day I refused to obey God’s clear and direct instructions regarding my involvement in a specific ministry, I did what we all instinctively do. I stepped back.

I couldn’t stay in His presence while choosing disobedience. The conviction would have been too much. I didn’t want to hear what He had to say… so I turned away.

I was no longer anchored in that flow of joy—and I was no longer protected by it. While living in God’s presence, with my focus on Him, I was able to handle my husband’s behavior, but suddenly I saw everything… every… little… thing that he did.

I couldn’t handle it.
And I started to spiral.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

I had no strength, which is hardly surprising, but in losing that joy I lost more than strength. Much more!

The word translated as “strength” is ma’owz, and although it appears 37 times in the Old Testament this is the only place it appears as “strength.” In other locations, it’s translated as “stronghold,” “refuge,” “fortress,” and “protection.”

It’s a military term.

The joy of the Lord, that joy that comes from being in God’s presence, is your stronghold, your refuge, your fortress, and your protection!

That is what I stepped away from when I backed away from God!

I’ve spent days talking to God about this.

Think about Psalm 91 and all it promises to the one who dwells in the secret place of the Most High. When you grasp the truth of the joy of the Lord being your “strength,” this psalm becomes even more significant.

Even now, I’ve been literally sitting here with my head in my hands as I work to absorb all of this. And I’m reminded of a vision God gave me when our oldest was a baby.

At church, during worship, God showed me a woman
standing on a rock in the middle of a stormy sea.

Although her dress was wind-blown and waves beat against the rock, she stood confidently. God told me then that I could be that woman, one who could stand strong through any storm.

He didn’t tell me how to become that woman. He just told me to stay close to Him.

And, as it turns out, that is exactly what it takes.

As I live in God’s presence, I live in joy that can only be found in Him, and that joy protects me in ways I may never recognize.

And what about that friend, you ask? As I recall, we parted ways not long after. But I will say this; her heartless words were part of what woke me up. God used them to get my attention and draw me back to Him—back into obedience and back into His presence, His joy, and His protection.

There’s no place I’d rather be than in His presence, His joy, and His protection.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Force of Joy: A Journey from Discovery to Deployment of Your Spiritual Weapon, by Alexandria Flint, is available on Amazon. I will publish a review once I finish, but I had to stop right now and share what I’ve learned just from pages 5-8.