Christian encouragement

Let God Choose the Next Thing

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Have you ever had a “Must Do” list so long you literally didn’t know what to do first? That’s been me for about the past month. Staring at my list, too often not knowing where to start, I felt so buried I couldn’t begin to prioritize.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it, but in the past when I got overwhelmed I tended to shut down. It was a stress response, obviously, but a lot of that response came from my brain not working right for several years.

On the outside I seemed normal, but inside I was often hanging by a thread.

I’ve been focusing on getting past that, though. I’ve been actively controlling my stress levels, which is a big factor in brain health. I’ve been taking supplements that support the brain as well. I’ve also been challenging myself with things like puzzles and studying Spanish.

(Don’t ask how well I’m doing with Spanish. It’s embarrassing.)

Bottom line: I knew that, if something didn’t change, I would shut down again.

I wasn’t letting that happen this time.
So, I called on the One who understands priorities better than any other.

For the past several weeks, while keeping a close eye on my list, I’ve been paying even more attention to what God has to say. And I mean that literally. When I finish one task, I turn to God and ask, “Ok, what’s the next thing?”

It makes all the difference in the world.

I might have wasted half an hour trying to decide. But God literally tells me what to do next, and then He helps me work on it.

And yes, I mean He helps me. I rely on God not just to keep my priorities in order, but to help me accomplish what I need to do.

Take TikTok for instance. I told you He urged me to get serious on TikTok – you can find me there @tmcardwell – and it took me way too long to get up the nerve to actually record that first video.

But I lean on Him. I ask Him to guide me, especially when I’m working on particularly challenging subjects like my current “Surviving Narcissism” series.

And He’s right there by me the whole time. As I prepped for a particular video recently, before I could even whisper, “Lord, I need the words,” I could almost feel His presence, as if His hands were resting reassuringly on my shoulders.

Six weeks ago, I would have been near panicking.
In that moment, I was instantly at peace.

Psalm 46 calls God our ever-present help. This is literal truth. If you haven’t experienced this part of having a relationship with God, I challenge you to reach out today. He’s ready to meet you where you are and help you do more than you ever thought possible.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Healing Takes Time

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

One of my TikTok videos resulted in a strong response from victims of narcissist abuse. That response led me to take my Surviving Narcissism series, at least in part, to the app.

My goal in life, and on TikTok (@tmcardwell), is to help people grow in their relationships with God and the Bible. While I’d planned to focus primarily on things like Bible study and growing closer to God, I’ve discovered that being there for domestic abuse victims is part of God’s plan. Some of the responses I’ve received are heartbreaking; there are so many out there who have had no hope.

Interestingly, recording this series has made me aware of something I hadn’t fully realized. I think it’s human nature to want to simply put the past behind us and move forward. To an extent that’s exactly what I had done.

God and I have covered a lot of ground in the three years since Jack passed away. But I realized this past week that we’ve definitely not covered it all. Why?

Because healing takes time.

As I talked about how my attempts to “protect” my sons by keeping the family together actually exposed them to their own life-altering trauma, those old wounds I thought were healed opened right back up. Yeah. They were still there, waiting to be dealt with.

So I pulled out a book I reviewed for this series in April of last year. You can read my review of Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse if you like. I recommend you do if you’re dealing with the results of domestic abuse of any sort. I’ll just say here that this book is helping me all over again as I reread it.

The fact is, healing from any trauma takes time. Recovering from this type of trauma can take a very long time. We can try to ignore our pain, issues, and triggers. Sometimes we can even get away with it for a while. But until we deal with the damage, we’re being held back.

I’ve wondered, at times, if I should seek counseling. I haven’t, because I know I’ve definitely made progress. God has faithfully brought up my issues as I reach the place where I can deal with them.

If you’re still recovering, though – or trying to – know that there is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help. God gave us counselors and therapists for a reason, and sometimes they have the very support we need.

Whatever path you choose to take towards healing, please hear me: There is hope. Real healing is possible. I’m living proof.

Be patient with yourself and give every part of the process to God. Every part: especially the unforgiveness and bitterness that only poison us, no matter how justified they feel. Take it one step at a time.

And celebrate those steps. They matter. And those of us who have also walked this road will happily celebrate with you.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The following is a complete list of the articles in this series.

Surviving Narcissism: Introduction to the Series
The Power of Refusing to Care
Yes, It IS Abuse
Truth Matters: Be Honest with at Least One Person You Trust
You’re Not Protecting the Kids
Review: Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse
Your Narcissist is Not Your Real Enemy
Make God Your Refuge

Learning to Shine Light in a New Place

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I shared previously about Charlie Kirk’s death and how it had affected me. I’m sort of doing the same today.

As I watched new convert after new convert post on social media, particularly TikTok, I prayed for them. I asked God to protect them from wolves in sheep’s clothing, give them wisdom, understanding, and knowledge, etc. Essentially, I asked Him to give them the help they need as they grow in Him.

I should have expected what was coming next. When we become aware of a need it’s usually because He wants us to help meet it. He asked me a question:

“So how are you going to help them?”

Eventually I got the picture. He expects me to help in greater ways than I have been. God wants me to get out there to the people instead of waiting for them to find me. There are several facets to this new focus, but a big one is TikTok.

I’ve had an account for years and enjoyed following a variety of people, supporting them with my likes and comments. I soon realized what when God asked the question He was preparing my assignment. One thing He wanted was for me to become active on TikTok, to share the light in that place.

I’m a word person. I write books. I blog. I offer a newsletter. But, though I once spoke at homeschool conferences, I had zero experience in this new type of communication. The whole idea intimidated me so much that I asked a dear friend to be praying for me. I felt like He expected more than I was capable of.

Lesson Relearned:
Never underestimate God’s ability to make you able.

This feels like one of those times when He is qualifying the called instead of calling the qualified. Nonetheless, things are going well. Every day I learn new things, which is a miracle given the mental issues I dealt with only a few years ago. (Trauma does that to you.)

You can find me @tmcardwell if you’re interested.

While I don’t yet know what I should consider excellent where engagement is concerned, I’m happy with what I’m seeing. And you know what? I’m having fun.

I’m also genuinely helping people. Not everything shows up publicly, but the private conversations show I’m on the right path. Most importantly, I know I’m doing what He asked me to do. And, really, that’s all He requires – simple obedience.

So let me offer you a word of encouragement today. If God tells you to do something that seems impossible, take His word for it and step out. No matter what it looks like, He knows what He’s talking about. And when He calls you to do something He will equip you to get it done.

I mentioned trauma in passing, but it’s a significant side note. Trauma can destroy you but, no matter how broken you are, God can restore what you’ve lost!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Living Your Witness: The Quiet Power of Influence

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Do you ever think about those who have especially impacted your life?

For me, while untold numbers of people have helped me grow, three people stand out, people who have left eternal marks on my soul and had a definite impact on the direction my spiritual walk has taken. What strikes me about all three is that they weren’t preaching at me. They were simply living their witness.

Three People Who Changed My Walk

The Best Friend – Joy in the Spirit
Marilyn, my best friend, never tried to “sell” me on anything. She simply shared her excitement about what God was doing in her life. I’d been saved years earlier but wasn’t actively living like a Christian. I was what I call a “cultural Christian” at that point.

Her joy stirred a hunger that made me face my mostly in name only Christianity and recognize its inadequacy, how little it satisfied me. She expected me to get excited too, and I did.

The Stranger – Baptism in the Holy Ghost
At a Christian Student Union meeting Ms. Jeannie, a woman I’d never met, taught me about and led me into the baptism in the Holy Ghost. She was our speaker that night and I could tell she was like my best friend in that she had “it.” In spite of my introversion and insecurity, I’d gathered my courage and asked her, “What is the baptism in the Holy Ghost?”

The conversation we had, and the prayer we prayed, changed my life forever. And I’m happy to be able to report that she became a dear friend and is still a vital influence in my life.

The Evangelist – Intimacy with God
The last of my three, Jesse Duplantis, is an evangelist. His messages are always great, but his almost casual references to his conversations with God made me hunger for that kind of walk:

“I want that type of relationship with You, God!
You’re no respecter of persons.
I want that intimate relationship too!”

So I got in the Word more, prayed more, and focused on listening for His “voice,” God speaking directly to my spirit. Over time, that intimacy became my reality – and I love how we talk to each other all day long.

The 1 Thessalonians 5:17 command to pray without ceasing? This is it. Yes, I have a set time that I know I’ll be praying, talking to God about things that matter to us both, but the conversation doesn’t stop there.

The Quiet Power of Living Faith

Other than Brother Jesse, these are normal people you’ll most likely never meet, but their influences in my life still affect how I live and what I share with others.

And those key people reached me not through preaching at me, but by letting me see the reality of God in their lives, by giving me glimpses of possibilities I’d not imagined.

They also taught me one of the most important things about sharing the Gospel.

We start by living it.

Marilyn, Ms. Jeannie, Brother Jesse…
“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.”
Philippians 1:3

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Message Cards: A Simple Way to Witness

Tammy M Cardwell2 Comments

Sunday’s post on tipping and my latest project come together for this one.

As Christians, we have Good News worth sharing, but the thought of stepping out and speaking up can feel overwhelming. Trust me; I get it. I’m a serious introvert (if you’ve never picked up on that) and sharing Jesus used to intimidate me in a big way. But I discovered that it didn’t have to.

A Missed Opportunity and a New Idea
Many years ago, I realized I was missing a golden opportunity. I ate out frequently and wanted to share Jesus with the servers I met but was too shy to speak up. I am a good tipper and I soon decided I needed something I could leave with my tip.

Note:
If you don’t tip well,
you might want to check out my recent post,
Don’t Let a Bad Tip Ruin a Good Witness.

I settled on what I call message cards; I designed and ordered them fairly inexpensively from VistaPrint. My message was simple: “God loves you so much He asked Jesus to die for you. Jesus loves you so much that He did. John 3:16” After some thought, I decided to include my URL so people would have somewhere to go if they had questions. These little cards became a quiet way for me to witness without feeling awkward or pushy.

I prayed that each card would reach at least one person, then I left them with tips, used them as business cards by jotting my number or email on the back, and at one point even stapled dollar bills to a bunch of them and hid them in products in stores – coat pockets, wallets, etc. (I’m not necessarily advising this, but it was fun!)

These little cards were affordable and easy to hand out, but potentially powerful.

Time for an Upgrade
I recently realized my supply was getting low, and also that it was time for a new look. I had an idea of what I wanted them to say, but no design skills, so I turned to someone I trust implicitly: my son Terry, the owner of PixelDripStudio. He’s working on my website redesign, so he knows my branding (which he also created) and my heart.

I scribbled two lines on the back of one of my old cards and told him, “This is what I want to say.” After asking several questions to help refine the idea, he got to work… and he gave me more than I was expecting.

Watching him work was a joy (If you’re a mom, you know), and I’m proud to be able to share what he created. As silly as it sounds, I’m particularly delighted with the gloss accents! You’ll see them better in these two smaller pictures.

My message is two-fold.

1. John 3:16 is Personal
Yes, God sent Jesus “for the world” but, specifically, He sent Jesus for you. He was thinking of you when He asked His Son to become one of us, to live without sin, to show us how to live, then to give His life – knowing exactly who He was dying for.

…and…

2. Jesus Chose the Cross
Sometimes we gloss over Gethsemane, choosing to pass by the pain, but we shouldn’t. Read Luke 22:41-44 and you’ll see that Jesus was under so much torment in the garden that He sweated drops of blood. (Yes, it’s a real condition! Look up Hematidrosis.) Our Savior knew what was coming, what He would endure. He had every right to back out, but He didn’t. 

“Nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done.”

He chose the cross. He chose you.

This is the foundation of every piece of encouragement and advice I offer here and in my newsletter. Jesus’ love for us, for you and me, is beyond comprehension. The more I think about what it cost both God and our Lord to free us from bondage to sin the more in awe I am.

The Takeaway
These new cards carry my heart, and my contact information for those who have questions. They present a message that matters and they let me share Jesus without saying a word. 

Evangelism doesn’t have to be scary and hard. It can be as simple as handing someone a card.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C