Author: Tammy M Cardwell

Healing Takes Time

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One of my TikTok videos resulted in a strong response from victims of narcissist abuse. That response led me to take my Surviving Narcissism series, at least in part, to the app.

My goal in life, and on TikTok (@tmcardwell), is to help people grow in their relationships with God and the Bible. While I’d planned to focus primarily on things like Bible study and growing closer to God, I’ve discovered that being there for domestic abuse victims is part of God’s plan. Some of the responses I’ve received are heartbreaking; there are so many out there who have had no hope.

Interestingly, recording this series has made me aware of something I hadn’t fully realized. I think it’s human nature to want to simply put the past behind us and move forward. To an extent that’s exactly what I had done.

God and I have covered a lot of ground in the three years since Jack passed away. But I realized this past week that we’ve definitely not covered it all. Why?

Because healing takes time.

As I talked about how my attempts to “protect” my sons by keeping the family together actually exposed them to their own life-altering trauma, those old wounds I thought were healed opened right back up. Yeah. They were still there, waiting to be dealt with.

So I pulled out a book I reviewed for this series in April of last year. You can read my review of Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse if you like. I recommend you do if you’re dealing with the results of domestic abuse of any sort. I’ll just say here that this book is helping me all over again as I reread it.

The fact is, healing from any trauma takes time. Recovering from this type of trauma can take a very long time. We can try to ignore our pain, issues, and triggers. Sometimes we can even get away with it for a while. But until we deal with the damage, we’re being held back.

I’ve wondered, at times, if I should seek counseling. I haven’t, because I know I’ve definitely made progress. God has faithfully brought up my issues as I reach the place where I can deal with them.

If you’re still recovering, though – or trying to – know that there is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help. God gave us counselors and therapists for a reason, and sometimes they have the very support we need.

Whatever path you choose to take towards healing, please hear me: There is hope. Real healing is possible. I’m living proof.

Be patient with yourself and give every part of the process to God. Every part: especially the unforgiveness and bitterness that only poison us, no matter how justified they feel. Take it one step at a time.

And celebrate those steps. They matter. And those of us who have also walked this road will happily celebrate with you.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The following is a complete list of the articles in this series.

Surviving Narcissism: Introduction to the Series
The Power of Refusing to Care
Yes, It IS Abuse
Truth Matters: Be Honest with at Least One Person You Trust
You’re Not Protecting the Kids
Review: Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse
Your Narcissist is Not Your Real Enemy
Make God Your Refuge

Learning to Shine Light in a New Place

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I shared previously about Charlie Kirk’s death and how it had affected me. I’m sort of doing the same today.

As I watched new convert after new convert post on social media, particularly TikTok, I prayed for them. I asked God to protect them from wolves in sheep’s clothing, give them wisdom, understanding, and knowledge, etc. Essentially, I asked Him to give them the help they need as they grow in Him.

I should have expected what was coming next. When we become aware of a need it’s usually because He wants us to help meet it. He asked me a question:

“So how are you going to help them?”

Eventually I got the picture. He expects me to help in greater ways than I have been. God wants me to get out there to the people instead of waiting for them to find me. There are several facets to this new focus, but a big one is TikTok.

I’ve had an account for years and enjoyed following a variety of people, supporting them with my likes and comments. I soon realized what when God asked the question He was preparing my assignment. One thing He wanted was for me to become active on TikTok, to share the light in that place.

I’m a word person. I write books. I blog. I offer a newsletter. But, though I once spoke at homeschool conferences, I had zero experience in this new type of communication. The whole idea intimidated me so much that I asked a dear friend to be praying for me. I felt like He expected more than I was capable of.

Lesson Relearned:
Never underestimate God’s ability to make you able.

This feels like one of those times when He is qualifying the called instead of calling the qualified. Nonetheless, things are going well. Every day I learn new things, which is a miracle given the mental issues I dealt with only a few years ago. (Trauma does that to you.)

You can find me @tmcardwell if you’re interested.

While I don’t yet know what I should consider excellent where engagement is concerned, I’m happy with what I’m seeing. And you know what? I’m having fun.

I’m also genuinely helping people. Not everything shows up publicly, but the private conversations show I’m on the right path. Most importantly, I know I’m doing what He asked me to do. And, really, that’s all He requires – simple obedience.

So let me offer you a word of encouragement today. If God tells you to do something that seems impossible, take His word for it and step out. No matter what it looks like, He knows what He’s talking about. And when He calls you to do something He will equip you to get it done.

I mentioned trauma in passing, but it’s a significant side note. Trauma can destroy you but, no matter how broken you are, God can restore what you’ve lost!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Exploring Ezekiel by Amir Tsarfati

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My Current Read

Amir Tsarfati’s Exploring Ezekiel just released and if you are at all interested in understanding that Old Testament book I HIGHLY recommend you get this one. (Given how much of its prophecy applies to today…)

Amir follows the same format with Exploring Ezekiel that he did with Revealing Revelation and Discovering Daniel. He walks through the book of Ezekiel in a straight line from beginning to end, drawing in other scriptures and references as appropriate. He also shares pertinent history, which is a big help.

For those who aren’t familiar with Amir, he is a Christian Jew who lives in Israel and is the head of Behold Israel. He has a firm grasp on End Time prophecy specifically as well as the Scriptures in general. I without hesitation recommend all of his books, even those I’ve not read. (For instance, he has a series of thrillers, and I don’t do that kind of stress. 😆)

This is the first time I’ve purchased the associated workbook and I can see I’ve been missing out. I’m only on lesson 2 and am thoroughly enjoying this excellent Bible study. It parallels Exploring Ezekiel, taking you deeper as you ask and answer questions about what you’re seeing, what it means, which other scriptures support what is said, and how the scriptures you’re studying affect your life.

Get yours today!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

How God Talked Me Into TikTok

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After Charlie Kirk was assassinated, I witnessed what can only be called a spiritual revolution on TikTok. Between posts and comments, I saw hundreds of people who hadn’t even had God on their radar suddenly coming to Jesus.

Something supernatural was happening – still is.

I’ve tried to support and comment on these posts as much as I could, and I’ve prayed. Oh, how I’ve prayed. I’ve been concerned for these newborn Christians because those are ones the devil so likes to attack, to draw into deception.

At some point last month, it seemed like God was asking me, “So how are you going to help them?”

Um…

I’ve been a lurker on the clock app for years. Well, not really a lurker, because as I said I comment and support. I’ve come to appreciate a great many of these creators. But becoming one of them – putting myself out there and making TikToks – was another thing entirely.

I couldn’t conceive of it. Oh, I could in theory like the idea, but when it came to seriously considering following through and doing it… That was a different story. Besides, God hadn’t come out and told me to start creating; He’d just asked how I was going to help.

Then it happened. Suddenly my FYP was filled with creators talking about creating. One explained that you don’t always have to do videos; you can post text and photos too. So I did one – a picture of my book with a brief explanation – and felt pretty good about it. So I did another. And another.

Don’t get too excited: As of right now I’ve only done five TikTok posts and about as many stories.

If you read yesterday’s article, When God Grows Your Faith, you know God has asked me to do some things lately that seemed impossible. This was one of them. He eventually did ask me to start creating on TikTok. For real.

So for real, if you’re interested, you can find me @tmcardwell. I post as Tammy M. Cardwell Author.

But back to my story. God was merciful on this one, leading me into this new thing gently and not giving me my assignment until I was at least relatively comfortable. But there is an assignment, and I am working on it. 

I’ve ordered my light, and I’m waiting for my video expert friend to recommend the right mic for my budget. He won’t be able to come help me stage for these videos until after the first of the year, I don’t think, but once I have the tools and know how to use them, I’ll start working with what I’ve got.

In the meantime, I’m working on ideas.

Like I said yesterday, the Christian life is all about walking by faith. It’s trusting that when God tells you to do something He’s already got the road mapped out in front of you. All you have to do is listen and, as Isaiah 30:21 tells us:

“You will hear a word spoken behind you, saying,
‘This is the correct way, walk in it,’ whether you
are heading to the right or the left.”

Random Note: I can never read those words without flashing back to Gandalf with his hand on Frodo’s shoulder, telling him which way to go.

Each step may seem uncertain, but with each step I take I see God proving Himself faithful. He’s turning what once felt impossible into “done.”

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

When God Grows Your Faith

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I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote from Hudson Taylor lately.

“There are three stages to every great work of God;
first it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done.”

God has been asking me to do things, lately, that seem impossible, so I guess it’s no surprise that this quote came to mind.

“What do you mean by ‘impossible,’ Tammy?”

I mean that, when you look at my circumstances and experience, God is literally asking me to do things I cannot possibly do. 

Have you ever considered something and, even as you thought, “No,” you undeniably heard God speak to your spirit a solid, “Yes”? I did earlier this month. On the outside I looked calm and collected. On the inside a battle raged. My flesh, which was being told to step out of the way, was in a heated argument with my spirit.

But my spirit was leaping up and down. God had spoken to me, clearly, about this specific situation. And when God speaks that clearly, not only am I limited to one option – obedience – but I also have a guarantee that He’s not going to let me fail.

My flesh didn’t believe a word of it.

Flesh: “But you know how you get when learning new things frustrates you; you shut down.”

Spirit: “Not this time! God’s standing right here assuring me I won’t!”

Flesh: “What about the financial commitment you’re making? You haven’t budgeted for anything like this!”

Spirit: “God has, obviously, or He wouldn’t be telling me to do it.”

During the battle I was reminded of both Hudson Taylor’s quote and something a character in a book once said. I can’t remember what he said, exactly, but it was along the lines of, “Of course I don’t know how God is going to work it out. That’s what makes it so exciting!”

Even then, the battle wasn’t over.

The next morning, I was still struggling, doubting that I was truly hearing from God, so I fell back on my tried-and-true decision making strategy. It’s a principle my pastor taught many years ago: God always leads with peace.

So, when faced with a hard decision, I decide. In this case (because I had a feeling it was the wrong choice), I first decided I wasn’t going to do it; I was going to pass up the opportunity I was being given. And I was filled with…complacency.

I will interject here that I’ve advised people about this process many times and I always explain that only God can give you peace; the closest the devil can get is complacency. I’ve never experienced it like this before, however. Generally, the wrong choice has resulted in a churning stomach.

But yeah, I felt total and complete complacency, like a sleeper who chooses to roll over and go back to sleep because he isn’t in the mood to face the day. It disturbed me so that I quickly decided to obey God.

Not only did peace instantly flood my soul when I said, “Yes,” to God: I got excited!

And then something occurred to me. Actually, I’m going to say God revealed it to me, because this is a thought I’ve never had.

We are to live by faith. We know this. Scripture after scripture tells us we’re to walk by faith, to grow and strengthen our faith, that we’re to have works associated with our faith, that we can’t please God without faith…

I’ll stop. But you get the idea.

My faith is as strong as it is because living with my husband required it. When you’re moving essentially from one crisis to another, either you’ll build your faith up or you’ll let yourself be torn down – and I was not going to let myself be torn down!

Even in the year after he passed, my faith grew as it was stretched by my financial and housing situations, but in the past year or so…not so much. And I didn’t realize it until recently, but that steady season had quietly allowed my faith muscles to relax. 

But, again, that’s not what we’re called to do. I have come to believe that, if we’re not consciously choosing to stretch and work our faith, which is what is required for it to grow, God will lead us into situations where stretching and building up our faith is a necessity.

Now that I think about it, this is the second time He’s done that in recent months. Something else happened a few months ago that demanded I put my faith out there and trust Him, and I was excited to find I was able, that I was looking forward to seeing how He would take care of things. I still am.

So…yeah… Faith – trusting God – is not just important; it’s essential. We can’t just say we trust Him; our lives have to show it. And when they do, He’ll often lead us straight into the impossible.

But once our focus is fully on Him, we’ll realize it was never impossible after all. It may be difficult, yes, but at some point…it will be done.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Redeem the Time

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Copyright Jordan Benton (on pexels.com)

This was not a normal Sunday.

There was already a lot going on in my head when service began, and this was one of those days I had to force my rabbit-trail-loving brain to focus only on worshipping God. Some people assume I’m different in some way, that everything comes easy for me. But the fact is I’m like anyone else, and too often it takes a conscious mental effort to shut down the bombarding thoughts that try to derail my worship.

For the record, I won this morning and worship was great.

Then I sat down and realized I had a staff notification on my phone.

One of our young moms passed away this morning. There was no warning, no indication that anything was wrong, at least not as far as I know. Her family is very active in the church. She and her husband have led one of our groups for years – a group that is headed out to a concert tonight. Well, I assume at least most of them will still go, though with heavy hearts.

Her daughter gets married soon.

My heart breaks for her husband, kids, soon-to-be son-in-law, his family, and the youth kids who love her daughters – our whole church, actually. But those kids…there were some seriously red-eyed teens walking out the doors after service.

This threw me. Some people might think that as a church secretary I’ve seen enough church members pass that it would eventually get easier. Nope. It doesn’t. This is my family and I love them.

Mind you, I’m THRILLED for her! She is quite literally exactly where she’s been heading ever since the day she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. It’s everyone else…all those who love her. Thinking about everything left me so befuddled I couldn’t even discuss it with God on the drive home, or not cogently.

She was so young, only in her 50s. No one expects anything like this.

You don’t. Do you?

I think if she could send one last message, it would likely be a warning to redeem the time: Accept Jesus as Lord and Savior if you haven’t. Grow even more deeply in love with Him if you have. And tell everyone you can that Jesus is the only One who saves, because any one of us could be standing in front of Him before another day passes.

Literally, you just never know. Redeem the time.

Celebrating Jesus,
Tammy C

The Victor’s Crown: Why Our Struggles Matter

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“Why does life have to be so hard?”

Now there’s a question we’ve all asked more than once. Clearly, I don’t have the whole answer, but I saw something in the Word today that reminded me of one of the reasons life is hard.

Everyone goes through hard seasons. Mine may look different from yours, but they are hard nonetheless. This is a good fact to remember: Everyone around you is dealing with something, probably many somethings. Never assume your neighbor has it easy, because it’s highly likely they don’t.

Everyone goes through tests, trials, and temptations. How we respond to them matters. I’m speaking to Christians here, so I’ll leap right into temptation. Have you felt God prompt you to give up a habit and you’ve tried, but you just couldn’t do it – or did it for a time and then went right back to it?

I’m not even talking about outright sin here. My point is that any time God asks us to do something, or to stop doing something, and we are tempted to disobey, that is a test. Our flesh may be testing us, or demonic influences might be pushing the temptation our way. Regardless, it’s a test.

Now look at James 1:12 in the New Living translation:
“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

I went to the Renner Interpretive Version: James & Jude for Rick Renner’s notes on this crown of life and he explains that “crown,” the word James used here, referred to a victor’s crown such as those given to winning athletes. These crowns made of laurel wreaths marked them as people to be esteemed and honored; they also guaranteed the winner would be provided for for the rest of his life. 

But James didn’t stop there. He called it the crown of life or, properly translated, the victor’s crown of zoe life which, according to Renner, “brings a physical and spiritual reward, both in life now and for all eternity.”

This is clearly something that is not to be taken lightly!

But we have to remember where we started.
“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation.”

Now let’s look at this verse in two other translations.

James 1:12 (NKJV) – “Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”

James 1:12 (NET) – “Happy is the one who endures testing, because when he has proven to be genuine, he will receive the crown of life that God promised to those who love him.”

How we deal with test/trials/temptations is what determines whether or not we are approved, whether or not we have proven ourselves to be true lovers of God.

Am I saying those who fail aren’t saved? Not necessarily, no. I’m saying that when a runner enters a race he goes in with his eyes wide open, knowing he will be tested to his limits. He may face distractions, bumps in the road, weather issues, interference by other runners, and major objections from his own body.

He will face the temptation to slow down, with a voice whispering that second or third place wouldn’t be so bad. He will face the temptation to throw up his hands and quit. But if he wants to win, he determines in his heart that we will press on through to the end no matter what obstacles are in his way.

This is what the Apostle Paul did. In 2 Timothy 4:7 he explains to Timothy that he knows his time is up, that he won’t be alive much longer, and he assures this one who was like a son to him that:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

We know from his own accounts and history that Paul faced more trials, tribulations, and temptations than most of us can conceive, but he ran his whole race determined that, no matter what he faced, he and God would win.

Those tests, trials, and temptations give us the opportunity to prove that our love for God is real, not just something we feel when life looks good. They also, according to James 1:2, help us grow into maturity.

Yes, life can be hard, but we can be strong. If Paul did it, we can too.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Hungry for God? Bought a Bible? This is for You.

Tammy M Cardwell1 Comment

Someone posted, this morning, that their local Books A Million was completely sold out of Bibles. It shouldn’t have surprised me, considering the reaction to Charlie Kirk’s assassination. I’d already been wondering how many would start digging into the Word. That they are seeking God like this is phenomenal news!

If you are one who is just picking up the Bible (or you know someone who is) I suggest you grab a copy of my book, Experiencing the Bible. I wrote it with you in mind.

Seriously. My thought, as I worked on it, was, “How can I help those who are being told, ‘Pick up your Bible’ or ‘Get into the Word,’ but they’re not being told how?” In Experiencing the Bible, explain.

Yes, I am the author, but I’m not ashamed to say it’s a great book that will be a real help!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

I’ve included the Amazon link above,
but the ebook version is also available in most popular ebook markets.

Even Through the Pain

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Yesterday was one of the hardest days I’ve had in years.

Did I know Charlie Kirk personally? No.

Had I ever even met him? No.

But I’d witnessed…

Charlie Kirk was driven to reach and help a generation that most of America has given up on. His approach was unique, involving respect and honest debate, and his special combination of sincerity, verity, integrity, and unwavering conviction had an impact that had evil running in fear.

Yes, evil. This is undeniably a case of good versus evil – God’s kingdom versus the devil’s pseudo kingdom.

Be it in a college campus debate, on his show, or in some more intimate setting, as far as I can tell Charlie based every answer, every explanation, on a foundation of truth, be it truth from the Bible or truth from accurately presented history.

Has he been accused of saying things to the contrary? Yes. As has been proved time and time again, especially in the political and religious arenas, it’s possible to take a statement out of context and make it seem to mean pretty much anything you want. Some of his words were given this same treatment, but when you go back to the context the lie becomes clear.

If someone chooses to believe the lie, that’s on them.

I’m rambling. I know I am, and for once I don’t care. I don’t think I’ll even go back and edit this. I’m still so messed up that I don’t even care right now.

But here is something I do care about.

Reactions: Everyone’s reactions, including mine.

We all know how great the differences are between the two “sides,” but it’s never been more apparent than in these two days. Those who publicly celebrate the assassination of a human being, any human being, are wrong.

Disagree with me if you like, I don’t care.

Here’s the deal. I’m going the political route for this, but only because it’s the most obvious. It still applies.

I wasn’t an Obama fan.

I wasn’t a Biden fan.

I wasn’t a Harris fan.

I did not speak out against them.

I did not wish them ill. (Out of office, yes, but never ill.)

I PRAYED.

Yet, how many have I heard… No need to go there, I suppose. We’ve ALL heard people scream about wishing Trump were dead, wanting someone to kill him. Murder seems to have become the order of the day here in the US lately anyway, which again… good v. evil.

Why have I spent years praying for those in office? Partially it was because I want things to go well in my country. But more importantly?

God doesn’t want anyone to go to Hell: Neither do I.

Those are not just words; they’re my heart, and they apply here. They’re why I’m praying for those who are celebrating Charlie’s death.

I did not want my abusive husband to go to Hell; I was only at peace when he died because he had recently gotten his life right with God and I knew he was in Heaven.

I do not want Charlie Kirk’s assassin to go to Hell. I literally started praying right away that, while I want him found and brought in, I also want him to accept Jesus and know the love that can only come from God.

Which is exactly what Charlie would have wanted. I know this because I’ve seen the fruit of his life. In fact, getting back to Charlie, just this morning I posted the following to my Facebook page.

It just dawned on me. 

Yesterday morning I was once again looking at James 1:1 in Rick Renner’s Interpretive Version. 

James said, “I am one whose life is dedicated exclusively to doing His will and to faithfully carry out any assignment He will ever entrust to me.”

That was Charlie Kirk. He gave his life, literally, striving to reach a generation that many have given up on. He did much more, obviously, but this one thing in particular has been close to my heart and I know he, too, was a bondservant of Jesus Christ.

That’s what I want to be.

Celebrating Jesus, even through the pain,
Tammy C

When the Next Generation Leads: UNPLUG60 and My Heart

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Cadence (Cady) Cardwell

Every once in a while, God lets you see His special touch across generations.

There are many satisfying things in this world, but catching your grandchild following in your footsteps (Whether she intended it or not) is extra special. My heart…it is singing.

Meet my granddaughter, Cady Cardwell. She’s one of the leaders of the UNPLUG60 movement. What’s UNPLUG60? I’m glad you asked! Here’s a snippet from their website.

Unplug 60 is a movement led by teens in Chambers County. It’s a simple idea: pick one hour each day to step away from screens and devices. That means putting down phones, closing laptops, turning off notifications—just unplugging. During this hour, you’re encouraged to spend time doing something real: talking to a friend, reading for fun, going for a walk, playing music, drawing, or just thinking.

This movement isn’t about rejecting technology altogether—it’s about finding space to breathe, connect, and recharge without constant digital distractions.

What I didn’t know, until her mom, Sheree, filled me in, is that Cady’s also apparently the primary author of their blog. I had no idea what she was up to until Sheree shared Sleep vs. Screens: How Late-Night Scrolling Hurts Your Rest, and I was all but shouting as I read it. It speaks straight up truth that applies not only to the teens she’s addressing, but adults as well. Our addiction to screens takes a terrible toll on most Americans, regardless of our age, and it affects us spiritually, physically, and mentally.

Reading her words reminds me that the next generation is already here and, in many cases, is better prepared to step out and touch the world than we realize. Seeing my own grandchild display such maturity and wisdom does this Granna’s heart great good.

If you’ve got a minute, I suggest you check out UNPLUG60 for yourself. You may be surprised by just how much you’re challenged and inspired!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy Cardwell