He is I AM

Jesus said to His disciples, “Before Abraham was, I Am.” (John 8:58)

I’m sure you’ve heard someone, at some point, refer to a Scripture as having leapt off the page while they were reading. This is one of those verses for me. There I was, reading along, when suddenly I SAW Jesus say, “Before Abraham was, I AM.”

I’ve heard this verse used to support Jesus’ divinity, as it hearkens back to God’s declaration to Moses, but the revelation I gained in that moment was entirely different.

Picture me sitting there, stunned expression on my face, realizing that He’s saying “I AM before Abraham,” that even though He was standing there talking to them He was also, at the same time, before Abraham was born!

The revelation hit me in a moment, but it took my brain weeks to process it. Throughout my days, I kept going back to the thought the way you keep returning to a pot that’s simmering on the stove. I even pulled out my concordance and sought out similar times when God made such references to Himself.

You see, I’d always heard it taught that God was saying, “I am _________ (insert your need in the blank,” meaning He is whatever you need.
I am your Savior.
I am your deliverer.
I am your healer.
I am your provider.

This is all true, and lines up with the very names of God. The challenge is that Scripture isn’t two-dimensional. You can look at it one way today and see that it means one thing, and realize tomorrow that it means that and much more. The challenge is to keep from getting locked into only one view.

As I meditated on Jesus’ declaration, God lifted another verse from the page. “Be still and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10) It was as if He were writing me a personal message.

Be still and know that I AM

It’s a fact: Time is meaningless to God. Yes, we find it hard to comprehend this truth, because it’s almost everything to us, but I’m convinced that its only use to God is that it helps us keep our own lives in order. Well, perhaps that’s an oversimplification, but you get my point.

Through the weeks, I slowly gained an understanding that GOD IS, that even as God IS with me as I type this, He IS also with Moses in the desert and Adam in the garden. At first, it was almost like a mental exercise. I’d been given a new piece of information and was slowly grasping what it meant, what its significance would be in my life. Like watching the sun slowly creep up over mountains, I knew something was coming. And I was actively watching for it.

And then the day dawned.

We’d been dealing with CPS (Child Protective Services). The report was completely bogus but, like everyone else who has ever been accused, we had been doing our part to prove wrong the accusations made against us. On “that” day, I walked out my front door, heading to the mailbox, and I suddenly GOT IT. Even as I took those steps, I prayed something along the lines of, “Daddy, you’re in all times at once, so I ask that you do whatever you have to do three days ago for there to be a letter in the mailbox today saying, ‘We’re so sorry. We’ve found nothing wrong. We’re dropping the whole thing.’”

The letter was there. It didn’t say, “We’re so sorry,” but I really didn’t care. That was the day my prayer life radically changed, the day I realized that what I call retroactive prayers are a thing.

Have you ever received a prayer request at noon for a surgery that was taking place at seven, and felt terrible because the surgery was surely over and all you could pray for was a swift healing? But you can still pray in such situations! God, who is with you when you get the request, is – at that same moment – with the person before they go into surgery, in surgery, and as they come out. Truly, since God isn’t bound by time, there’s almost no such thing as “too late” for Him. (Almost. There are definite spots in Scripture where God declares to man that time is up.) I mean that literally.

We’ve heard it said that when a man is dead he’s dead, that you might as well stop praying for him. As a Protestant who doesn’t believe in Purgatory, I understand where that teaching comes from, but I don’t entirely agree. Not anymore.

The fact is that the same God who is with me now is – even now – with a specific young lady I’m thinking of who died in a car wreck, and He is capable of reaching out to her in those last few moments and saving her soul. Yes, I asked Him to as I learned about her. It is true that, even at the end, she might have resisted Him, but I still have the ability, the right, to ask Him to try. He told me so Himself.

Be still and know that I AM.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C


“I can tell you he’s not brain dead.”

No one wants to hear the words “brain dead” in relation to anyone they know. No one wants to think about the implications. Not wanting something doesn’t keep it from happening.

On Sunday evening, April 30th, my husband inhaled his dinner and nothing I tried helped. The EMTs got there quickly, and shortly after they got him into the ambulance the food obstructed his airway completely and he went into cardiac arrest.

I learned this after I arrived at the hospital, where I was told that the EMT’s had been doing CPR on him when he arrived, and they had his heart beating again within two to three minutes after getting him into the ER. They’d also removed the obstruction and intubated him. I’m ignorant – was ignorant – enough about such matters that I didn’t realize what wasn’t being said until two hours later.

Mind you, I got people praying right away!

Roughly two hours later, the Intinsivist called me aside and explained the situation. For a young man in good health, you have about 2 minutes of oxygen loss to the brain before you have to worry about brain damage. For a man Jack’s age, and with his medical history, you have 11-12 seconds. They’d been working on him for somewhere between two and six minutes. Also, Jack had yet to regain consciousness, his pupils were dilated, and they were only sluggishly responding to light.

In other words, the doctor wasn’t telling me Jack might have brain damage. He was telling he would have brain damage; it was only a matter of how much. This was when he told me, “I can tell you he’s not brain dead. We have seen signs of brain activity.”

I can’t even begin to explain what I felt at that point. I went to see him as they prepared to chill his body to alleviate the damage as much as possible. They were prepping for other things as well, so I got ready for a move to the ICU waiting room.

Again, prayer warriors were lifting him up. Also, I had some strong support in the room with me, which was good since it was 12:30 AM before we heard anything else.

At that point, another doctor came and got my sister and me. He asked if I knew what all they’d planned to do and I gave him the list, ending with, “and…put him on ice.” (I still can’t remember what they called it.)

“Yes,” he responded, nodding. “On that, there’s been a change of plan. We’ve had him sedated, of course, because of the intubation, but a little while ago he awoke on his own. He’s groggy, but responding to our commands. We won’t be instituting ________ protocols.”

I HAD to clarify. “You’re saying you see no reason to think there’s brain damage.”

“Right,” he agreed as he opened the door.

His ICU nurse told me repeatedly, “You have no idea how lucky he is!” Jack was one of three of the five choking patients they’d had recently who had lived. The two they lost died because of the very lack of oxygen Jack experienced. But…

By 4:00 the next afternoon, he had been moved to a regular room. Two days later, he was transported to rehab. Seven days after that, I took him home. Yesterday, on May 17, the man they expected to either die or come out of this a vegetable walked into church.

But. God.


We saw his primary care today. I’d texted him immediately after my first meeting with the nurse. 

He looked at Jack and said, “What I did not tell your wife is that, when I got that first text, I knew you were gone.”

And again I say…

But. God. 

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Next Show Starts In…

You walk in the door carrying your take-out coffee and get offended when you’re told you’ll have to leave it outside. You let your cell phone ring repeatedly. You let your child wander around. When you can tell it’s getting close to the end you start gathering your stuff together, and right before the official end you walk out the door.

It’s all pretty standard behavior in a movie theater, but I’m talking about church. I’ve seen all of this through the years, and much more, and it sickens me that we’ve reached a place culturally where such behavior is acceptable (by some) even in God’s house.

People leaving during the altar call is the worst. There are souls hanging in the balance. If we really are Christians we should be praying for those around us. Unfortunately too many seem to think they’re in a theater and the altar call is like the credits: Let’s leave now to beat the rush.

Celebrating Jesus anyway!

Tammy C

The Art of Listening

I know what it is to hear God’s voice; we’ve had that kind of relationship for decades. Even so, since I began working with a new prayer journal last December, my relationship with Him and my experience with hearing His voice have been revolutionized.

This journal has a section specifically set aside for listening to Him. Every day, when I come to that section, I literally shut up and take dictation. That first day it felt slightly awkward, but it wasn’t long before I was sitting there in awe, writing as fast as I could while trying to process what He was saying. The experience was, and still is, AMAZING.

It’s not possible to entirely “get” what He’s saying as He speaks it, of course, so I then go back and read what I’ve written and talk to Him about what He’s said. He has opened my eyes to astounding things this way, and in letting Him talk freely (instead of me interrupting Him) I find that we get on topics I’d never have dreamed of. He tells me things that blow my mind, give me instruction, encourage me…

One advantage of this method is that I have what He’s said written down and can go back to refer to it at any time I wish…or any time He tells me to. This morning was one of those times, and while reading I came across one section I wanted to share with you. He was talking about the close relationship I have with Him where, among other things, He tells me secrets just like a best friend would.

This is what life should have been all along, the relationship I desire with everyone. You are no more special than anyone else. You have merely developed the art of listening and learned to trust your ability to hear.


Trusting myself to hear has been a big deal – meaning a big challenge. God and I have conversations throughout the day, and sometimes when I ask Him questions His answers surprise me. At those points, I’ll pause and ask, “Was that You or was that me?” I can almost hear Him chuckle as He answers, “That was Me.” So my faith in my own ability to hear has been growing.

But still, the first key to the truly tight relationship we should all desire to have with God (or anyone else) is in the first part of that last sentence. Develop the art of listening.

I have desired this type of relationship for most of my life. Who’d have thought that it would start with something so simple as me learning how to shut up and listen?

Well… you probably figured it out a long time ago. Sometimes I can be a bit slow.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C


Meditations: Matthew 6:5-13

Copyright Clarissa Pardue 2014
Copyright Clarissa Pardue 2014

Matthew 6:5-13

5 “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.

Again, here are those hypocrites, and again I reiterate that I do not want to be like them! What must I do…or not do?

First, God says when—not if. Obviously, the Christian is to pray. It is obvious, too, that the Christian is often called on to pray in public, corporately, in the church, in one accord… So this verse, like so many others, speaks to the motivation of the heart. Why do I pray where I pray and in the manner in which I pray? If I pray “out there” so that men will see me and be impressed, then the only reward I’ll get will be for those men to see me and be impressed. Oh, but does this also mean that such prayers go unanswered and, perhaps, even unheard by God? If the motivation of my heart is to be heard by men, am I only heard by man? Now there’s a sobering thought, because the answer affects not only me, but everyone I would be praying for in this hypothetical situation.

And if this applies to charitable deeds and prayer, does it also apply to praise? In charitable deeds I see no danger, but only the loss of God’s reward. In prayer, it would seem the loss of God’s reward would also be the loss of answers to prayer. This is dangerous in many ways. Now, if the same holds true for praise—for giving praises to God by singing in the choir, for instance—what then? The individual has lost his reward from God, gaining only the attention of men, but is there more? Does he, perhaps, in his hypocrisy, hinder God’s ability to move? Is he more of a stumbling block to freedom in the Spirit because he is a hypocrite (or at least an ignorant and misguided man) in a place of spiritual leadership? Does he, in truth, affect what the congregation is capable of doing, the heights the people are able to reach in Him?

These are sobering thoughts.


6 But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.

Back to prayer.

I read this verse and think of a time or two when I was praying with groups and certain people were obviously praying specifically so that others would hear and be impressed. Mind you, I’m not saying their prayers were any louder than the next person’s. What I am saying is that, as one who was praying with the right motivation, I easily sensed their wrong motivation.

So that’s another thing about praying openly so that men can hear. Men do hear, all right, and those who are sensitive to the Spirit know exactly what is going on around them. No one likes being caught faking anything, so this one thought should be even more motivation, more reason to keep one’s heart pure and motivation right.


7 And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.

8 “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.

This passage reminds me clearly of all the times one of my young sons would come to me and begin a long dissertation, taking forever to give me endless details when I already knew what he was preparing to ask. It is a frustrating thing for a parent, and there were many times when I’d want to say, “Get on with it,” or was tempted to settle for a simple, “No,” just to end quickly a conversation that was already grating on my nerves. There are few things more frustrating than listening to a seemingly endless spew of words.

Got it.

My daddy already knows what I need and want. He knows full well what I’m going to ask of Him. He does want me to ask, but He wants me to get down to the business of asking so He can get down to the business of answering. Too, like any parent, He wants our time together to be filled with meaningful interaction, warm hugs, expressions of love and thanksgiving…not gimme, gimme, gimme…

So how do I pray?


9 In this manner, therefore, pray:

He really is always right there with the answers to our questions.


Our Father in heaven,

I believe I could write books on these two words—Our Father. They mean so much!

First, they tell me about Him and the relationship He wants to have with me. He wants to be everything my earthly father is and more. He wants to be the one I run to when I’m joyful and when I’m sad, when I’m confused and when I’ve just made an exciting new discovery. He wants me to fling my arms around His neck when my heart is overflowing with love and cry on His shoulders when my heart breaks and I can’t seem to stop the tears. Above all else, He wants me to trust Him and His love for me; He wants me to believe with all my heart that no matter what things look like around me His choice is to stay at my side, holding my hand as we walk through things together. He wants to see my face as I stand before Him, not my back as I walk away.

Second, these words tell me about me. If He is my father, then there are things in Him that are also in me. Sometimes we hear people say things like, “He is the very image of his father.” We, too, having been made in His image and likeness, having been made His children, can (and should) be the very image of our Father.

The first characteristic most people think of where God is concerned is love. He is love, therefore I have it within me to be love as well. I Corinthians 13 talks about this very thing and in John 13:35 Jesus said, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” The first characteristic of God that is mentioned in the Bible is creativity. (Gen 1:1 “In the beginning God created…”) I can never say that I am not creative, because as one who is made in the image of my Father, I definitely am. In fact, I create truths every day in the very same way God does, with the words I speak, which is one reason the Scriptures so often command us to control our tongues.

Third, these words tell me some about others who call Him “Father.” I have one full sister and one half sister and all three of us share the same father. Stick us together and you’d never know by looking at us that we’re sisters. Spend time with us and you will discover that while we are three wildly differing individuals we are also very much alike in an astounding number of ways. The same is true in the family of God. We are all children of the same Father and are often both more alike and more different than we may want to admit. I may be instinctively drawn to some and not others, but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re all my brothers and sisters and my only choice is to love all them.


Hallowed be Your name.

This is a concept modern day man, as a whole, has absolutely no grasp of. From completely ridiculous profanity (Really, like any man can tell God to damn someone.) to the frustrated teenager’s use of, “God!” accompanied by rolled eyes and slammed doors, our culture shows clearly that it is clueless about the holiness of God and His name. In this, I am humbled by the Jewish manner of refusing to even spell His name. God becomes G-d as a reminder that His name is hallowed—holy.

He and His name are HOLY. Why do I feel like it is pointless to even continue with this prayer until one has a true understanding—revelation—of these four words?


10Your kingdom come. Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.”

Oh, but this is one verse I wish I really could get a revelation of. I know what it’s saying here; I really do. I just have trouble, sometimes, transferring that head knowledge into the right place.

Jesus would not have told his disciples to pray this thing if it could not come to pass. He simply wouldn’t. So it IS possible for God’s will to be done right here on Earth like it is done in Heaven. Oh, His will does get done here on Earth, but never to the extent that it ought to. In Heaven, though, it is His will that gets done and done unconditionally. I can only imagine what it will be like when His will IS done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Now, if I could only get past the imagining and into true envisioning.


11Give us this day our daily bread.

Here is another brief request that is full of meaning.

For Israel in the wilderness, their daily bread was manna, food that came straight from Heaven every single day. I have lived like this, seeing God bring to us, each day, food enough to make it through that day. Like the Israelites, I was also tempted to store up the leftovers, and like the Israelites, I sometimes forgot to be grateful. It is so easy to forget, when buried within our own selfish flesh, that this daily bread is a gift from God.

The Word of God is often likened to bread and this is something else I truly do need every single day. Just as my body needs fresh bread daily, so does my spirit need “fresh bread” daily. I ask that God give me that bread, yes, but then I must receive it. I must take time out to read it and really chew on it—to meditate on His Word.

And Jesus, in that last night with His disciples, referred his body as bread, broken for them—for me. I do not take that bread in a literal sense, as communion, every day, but I should seek that fresh revelation of Him and what He did for me every day. It is this daily bread, this continually renewed revelation of who He is, what He did, and who I am in Him that keeps me aware of my purpose and working on doing my part to see to it that His plans for me are fulfilled.


12 And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.

This one is interesting. In praying these words I am asking God to forgive me, yes, but I am also acknowledging that there is a limitation. If someone who has wronged me asks my forgiveness and I refuse to forgive him, then I know that God will also refuse to forgive me. However, this is also a promise, as I do unto my debtors, so does God unto me. Forgive!


13 And do not lead us into temptation,

Amen! Temptation, in this sense, essentially means “to test.” God, please, save me from all of the tests you can.


But deliver us from the evil one.

If I am being delivered from something, I am being rescued, obviously. I looked the word “deliver” up in the Greek on a hunch and found that it also means “to rush or to draw.” This takes me right back to God being my Father. A natural father, when he spies something unsafe, will rush or draw his child away from danger. At times, a child will fight, refusing to be drawn away, and at such times he may be endangered.

So this part of the prayer also involves me and my actions. I am asking my Father to alert me to evil, to draw me away, and I am committing to go where He leads.


For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

They’re His. They are ALL His and I had best not forget it, best never fail to acknowledge His supremacy and give Him His due.



Amen means “so be it.” Yes, Lord!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

It’s Little Things

Today is the National Day of Prayer, and as I was praying this morning, while I was asking God to start a revolution, to send revival, He said, “It’s little things that start a revolution. It’s little things that start a revival.”

We keep asking God to send revival, too often failing to understand that revival starts HERE, with us, and it starts small. It begins with one man deciding to spend five more minutes a day in prayer. It starts with a young woman asking of God, every morning, “Help me be a blessing to someone today.” It starts with me using the amazingly simple new witnessing tool He’s given me.

Revival, a revolution of our walk with God, may well sweep in on us like a flood, but it’s the little things – each of us doing our share of little things – that will trigger it.

Consider a dam. It holds back massive amounts of water, but if you poke enough little holes in it the water will eventually burst forth and flooding is inevitable. Let us poke those holes. Let each of us seek God for those little things He would have us do. Who knows? It may be your little thing that is exactly what is needed to put the final hole in the dam.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Give Thanks

I’ve been working through a new prayer journal I was given for my birthday in December, and one of the things I most appreciate about it is that it reminds me daily that we are to come to Him with thanksgiving.

Psalm 100:4 says, “Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise; be thankful unto him, and bless his name.” This is how we should come before God. He blesses us constantly. When we come to Him in prayer, we should first bless Him: Thank Him for all He has done, is doing, and will do, and praise Him for Who He is.

Putting thanksgiving and praise first changes our whole attitude toward prayer. It reminds us that He is not a server at a fast-food window, but a loving father who wants to sit down with us and give us the very best. It builds our faith as we remember all of the wonderful – even wonderfully small – things He’s already done for us; and if we plan to ask Him for anything, we need faith to believe He will answer!

I tried keeping a thanksgiving journal once before, and it was reasonably successful, but I found myself thanking Him only for what I saw as…well, not necessarily “big” things, but readily noticeable things. Now, though, beginning my days in thanks as I do, I find myself coming more like a child who thanks her daddy for every small thing – and in doing so I am reminded over and over again that a lot of those “small things” aren’t really that small after all.

At the very least, they are a continual reminder that He is interested in every area of my life – every minor incident, every dark corner… and I am truly thankful for this, because there have been quite a few of both. Honestly, some days I get so caught up in thanking God in my morning prayers that I don’t make it much further through the journal, and you know what? I find the requests I was going to make still get answered anyway…thanks to Him.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C