I was at a meeting, recently, where four more mature ladies were each asked to speak for ten minutes on what they would tell their younger selves. Every one of them shared things I could benefit from, and I took mental notes. Some of their thoughts were so valuable that I found myself asking, “Tammy, what would you tell younger Tammy?”

Whether I was addressing 36, 26, or 16-year-old Tammy, my answer would be the same.

The most important thing you can do in life
is develop an intimate relationship with God.

My 16-year-old self would have accepted the advice, I hope, but she would have been puzzled. She had enough of a Christian background that she understood the value of having God in her life, or thought she did, but she did not have enough training to know exactly what that entailed. She’d not yet received the Baptism in the Holy Ghost and was only just learning that there were people around her who were actively seeking God on a personal level.

My 26-year old self had a four year old and a one year old. She was filled with the Holy Ghost, growing spiritually, active in church, and definitely seeking God, but she was also tired. Her marriage still appeared to be good (Yes, she was pretty naive), so she had that, but the responsibilities of raising two young men were beginning to dawn on her. She was looking to the future and wondering…a lot of things.

My 36-year old self was facing a marriage in serious trouble, the challenges of teen hormones, and the sure knowledge that God was her only answer. She knew He was the only One who could help her not only make it through days and nights of wondering what was up with her husband, but wondering if everything she was trying to invest in her children was enough.

I’ve written about this season of my life before. You can read pieces of my testimony in
A Different Kind of New Year’s Post,
At Last It All Makes Sense,
And all of my Surviving Narcissism posts.

By this point in my life, I was growing spiritually specifically because my personal battles kept me on my knees. With my husband spending many nights supposedly doing innocent things while I knew for a fact he was in another woman’s arms, I spent hours seeking God’s face. If you’ve read The View from Inside the Furnace, you have some idea what I’m talking about. This season was the one in which I learned what I would tell my younger self.

Younger Self, you will save yourself a lot of struggles and agony down the road if you will do one thing: Seek a personal, intimate relationship with God. I’m not talking about just praying when you need His help. I’m not talking about just going to church every Sunday, or even every time the doors are open. I’m not talking about just reading your Bible on occasion. Those are all great, but they’re not enough. Religion, in and of itself, is not enough.

I’m talking about relationship.

Sixteen-year-old Tammy, you really don’t understand relationships yet. You think the friends you have right now will be there forever. But the me of today, over forty years later, can tell you that exactly one of them is. And actually, she’s the one who will help lead you closer to God. Everyone else? You may talk to them on social media every once in a while, but they’re not the friends you knew back then. People will come and go throughout your life. You’ll lose your parents far too early. You will eventually get married and one day he’ll be gone. You will have children. As they grow they’ll move out and live their own lives. You will have grandchildren, who have their own lives to live too. In the end, only God remains.

God, if you let Him, will be your closest companion not only in this life but in Eternity as well. But…

Relationships don’t just happen. They require time spent in one another’s presence, conversation (which is both speaking and listening), and actively paying attention to what brings the other joy. If you want the intimate relationship with God that I’m urging you to develop starting right now, you need to begin actively reading, studying, devouring His Word, the Bible. As you do, you’ll get to know The Word, who is Jesus Christ. (No, you don’t understand that yet either, but you will.) You also need to set aside time, the more the better, to talk to Him and to listen to what He has to say. He really will talk to you, and it’s wonderful! You also need the Baptism in the Holy Ghost, which will empower you like nothing you’ve ever experienced. You can’t even begin to imagine the impact it will make on your life!

I promise you, if you do this, your life will turn out very different from the one I’ve lived. God has used the hard times in my life to make me the strong woman I am today, but if I’d prepared myself ahead of time, if I’d gone into those battles already a strong woman of God, things would have been very different. They can be for you.

Yes, that’s pretty much it, what I’d say to my younger self.
Sadly, I’m not sure she would have taken me seriously. She really thought she knew what she was doing.

Today? I’m…

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C