Am I Enough?

Have you ever been held back by self-doubt, procrastinated starting something because you weren’t sure you could accomplish what you envisioned…or even what you know for a fact God told you to do?

I have. In fact, I have this very week. God gave me an assignment while in prayer and my immediate reaction was, “But can I? Am I good enough? Who am I to think people should listen to me, to what I have to say?”

I’ve heard many times some version of “God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called,” and I know for a fact that it’s true. But still, I have my moments of feeling inadequate and if I don’t respond to those moments correctly they can lead to unproductive seasons.

That very thing happened with Experiencing the Bible. God told me to write it, and I began it, but more than once I stopped working on it because I felt so unqualified. It should have been available a long time ago, but I only actually published it in June of 2022 because I gave in to self-doubt so many times.

I’m currently working on a new book, a devotional. I also plan to start a newsletter in which, among other things, I’ll share some of the devotions that will be published when I finish the book. Yes, I have some definite pieces in mind to write, and I actually do quite a bit of writing in my head anyway, but l’m way behind schedule in part because I sometimes don’t feel like I’m enough.

I’ve learned that the mastery of self-doubt is the key to success.

Will Smith

Will Smith is right about mastering self-doubt. The fact is, most people do fight feelings of inadequacy, occasionally need a boost of self-confidence. Those who succeed are the ones who learn to master it, to lean on what God has to say about them rather than what the people around them say or even what they believe about themselves.

We were all sinners until Christ saved us. He didn’t care.
We are all inadequate when God calls us. He doesn’t care.

We may not realize it, but there’s no way we start out ready to accomplish all He has planned for us, because His plans will always be bigger than what we can do on our own. This is why He repeatedly offers assurance in His Word. One of my favorite verses on this topic, which I stand on all the time, is In 2 Corinthians.

And God is able to make all grace overflow to you so that because you have enough of everything in every way at all times, you will overflow in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8 NET

So here’s the answer to the question, “Am I enough?”

Maybe not right now, but if God has told you to do it he will also make you able to walk through it. He will provide everything you need to become enough. Today, when He hands you the assignment or gives you the dream, choose to start where you are and begin moving forward. He’ll make you able. In fact, since He is both Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End, as far and He’s concerned, you already are enough!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

May I Please Get Back to “Normal”?

Actually, if I can just get back to what passes for normal… Yes, that sounds good!

Seriously, it was one month ago today that I posted Why Has Tammy Been Quiet?
It was eleven days ago that I posted, Sometimes You Just Keep Fighting.

It was THIS WEEK that I finally felt RIGHT again. I really was recovering when I made that post on May 6th, but one thing this whole event has taught me is that you don’t recover as quickly at 62 as you do at, say, 42.

I fought and made it through the work weeks, though exhaustion followed me home. Weekend before last my body shut down on me, demanding true recovery time. Last weekend was some better, though I felt like my brain was mush and still didn’t have it in me to think seriously about anything beyond the most basic household chores.

This Monday, while at work, I abruptly realized I was back to thinking totally clearly. I’ve still not been sleeping right, or not consistently, so I was ready to go to bed long before bedtime on Monday, but I was only sleepy rather than exhausted as I had been after work every week for weeks. Also, my brain proved itself to be back in order over the past two days when it let me take some very important training and pass the final exam. YAY!

In “Sometimes You Just Keep Fighting,” I said, “When God gives you an assignment, the devil is going to try to distract you, derail you, stop you.” At that point, I was talking about my calling in the church and the importance of the fundraiser I was working on. Today, however, I realized just how completely the devil managed to derail me where this blog is concerned. This, too, is my calling. I’m here for a reason, to serve a purpose, and for the past month the only word you’ve had from me came in the form of posts I scheduled weeks and, in some cases, months ago.

I’m so sorry.

Yesterday, as I left the office, I actually had a list of “catch up” errands I really need to take care of this weekend, but the Houston area was the recipient of some insane weather yesterday evening that left much of our area without power thanks to straight line winds that left a wide path of destruction. (Thank God our town, to my knowledge, didn’t see the threatened tornadoes!) Yes, we were part of the power outage and downed trees; the power came on at about 6:30 this morning. Praise God, the outside temp had dropped so dramatically that I actually slept ok. Well, as ok as I have been. After all those weeks of interrupted sleep, my body seriously needs to reset.

Anyway, I decided this morning that it doesn’t make sense to run any errands in this tree-and-trash ridden, many-areas-without-power town, so I’ve come to do some important catching up here instead.

I’ve already answered several more questions for my web developer today, so we’re making some progress there. This is your official, rambling update, so yay me…sort of. LOL! Now I have to decide what to do next, and I’m so far behind in all areas that I’m a bit overwhelmed by the number of options, but I’ll get it figured out. More to the point, I’ll look to God and ask for the next step.

THAT is one of the biggest bits of advice I can give you today. When you’re overwhelmed to the point of not even being able to face your To Do list, just ask God, “Sir? What do I do next?” If you let Him, The Holy Spirit will step in and lead you by the hand. If I didn’t already know this truth, I would after the last six weeks or so: As bad as I got mentally, God’s step-by-step leading was what got me through many of my days.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

To Not Try is to Fail

No, it’s not art. It’s self-care.

I had a follow-up with my primary care this week and was reminded about what he told me several months back: “It’s time to do something just for Tammy.” My mental health was his concern for so many years that, while he loves the changes he sees, he wants me to make a point to keep moving forward.

I’ve been wanting to learn watercolor for a while, so I decided to have that be the Tammy thing; I even bought supplies before Christmas. I’ve mentioned my plan before. I think I’ve also shared that I have an issue; I tend to not try things because I expect myself to do everything right the first time even though I know I won’t.

Yes, that’s ridiculous. I’m being transparent here. Okay? I do understand the saying, “Nothing ventured nothing gained,” and I’m officially working on it this time.

So… today I pulled out the paints and other supplies and decided to just play. What you see above is actually my second play sheet. Here, you can see the first.

Today was all about learning how everything worked – the paper, the brushes, the watercolors, and even the water itself. I gave myself permission to do the ridiculous, to create ugly, to fail. In doing so, I learned a lot, and have a solid plan for the next time I pull out my supplies. knowing what I learned today, next time will be better.

We live in a world that demands the appearance of perfection. Your TikTok must be just right for people to hit the follow button and the algorithm to make you visible. Your Instagram posts show only the best side of life. Your Facebook feed is filled with what appears to be perfect families.

And we know perfect families don’t really exist!

So I’m here to challenge you to rebel. Try something new, and give yourself permission to fail. Not fail permanently of course; that’s no fun. Just allow yourself time to learn without giving in to frustration at your own lack of experience. Don’t stop at the first hurdle; keep running the race.

It can be very relaxing, freeing even, to just sit there, mutter, “What if…?” and then try. It might fascinate you to find out.

If you’ve read about my tiny house life, no. None of this will be going into the frames on my kitchen wall. But some day I’ll share a post with those frames filled. After all, I’ve taken the first step in that direction.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C