Don’t Own It

At one point, I very much wanted a shirt that said, “Don’t own it!” and referenced 1 Peter 5:7.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

1 Peter 5:7 KJV

Why did I want this shirt? Because I needed the reminder, of course!

I have had a tendency, in the past, to take on other people’s problems as if they were my own. Now, empathy is a good thing, a very good thing. Being consumed by others’ problems is not, and that’s what I would let happen.

So, sad to say, then I would flip. I put a wall around my heart so I could hear about other people’s issues yet stay totally separated from them. Needless to say, this was equally as bad. Yes, it “protected” me from being consumed by the other person’s pain, but it also meant I was petty much useless to them spiritually.

Both ends of the spectrum are demonic, in case you haven’t realized this already. God is in the balance one finds in the middle. So yes, when a need comes to your attention take it, but don’t keep it. Don’t own it. If you take ownership, refusing to hand it over to God (who is the only One capable of handling everything), you don’t help them and you harm yourself. Cast all cares on Him; He can handle it and it’s what He wants.

It’s a simple concept, but oh did it take me a while to learn to walk it out.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

When God Speaks

I’m popping in quickly. I have to share.

I’ve been going through some papers and just now stumbled across this. I vaguely remember writing it down a very long time ago. It says…

This is what life should have been all along,
the relationship I desire to have with everyone.
You are no more special than anyone else.
You have merely developed the art of listening
and learned to trust your ability to hear.
–God to me

Apparently I was talking to God about how much I valued our relationship, and He let me know that what we have, and even more than what we had then (Since He draws me closer every day), is exactly what He wants to have with everyone. I mean, think about it. Why did He create Adam? I totally believe it was for fellowship. He longs for us to reach out to Him and accept Him not just as a supplier of our needs, but as the best Friend, best Father, best Brother, best Teacher we could ever have.

A friend texted me today asking for three tips for someone who wants to grow their relationship with God. Here’s my response.

  • Consistently and comprehensively study the Bible – all of it, not just what makes you comfortable.
  • Consistently and intentionally spend time in conversation with God – with listening being a priority.
  • Consistently be watching for ways to make Him happy.

If you think about it, this is essentially the same things you do to develop a strong relationship with anyone. Get to know everything you can about them, spend quality and quantity time with them, and strive to make them happy.

Anyone can have the relationship I have with God, one that is constantly growing as I grow. You just have to decide it’s important to you and do your part to make it happen. As He said to me, develop the art of listening and learn to trust your ability to hear.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Lets Talk About the Jews

I haven’t talked much about October 7 and the mass insanity that has flooded the world since that day, but I’ve done a lot of watching, praying, and hurting for Israel and the Jews around the world as well as those I know personally. Even now, I’m hesitant to start this post because there is so much on my heart that I’m concerned it’s all going to spill out in a jumbled mess of words and emotions.

First, to make myself clear,
I fully support Israel in this war and in general.
If you believe in replacement theology,
you and I are not on the same page.

Here are some of the reasons why:

Genesis 12:3: “I will bless those who bless you, And I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

Psalm 94:24: ” For the LORD will not cast off His people, Nor will He forsake His inheritance.”

Psalm 122:6: “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: May they prosper who love you.”

Ezekiel 37:21: “Then say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD: “Surely I will take the children of Israel from among the nations, wherever they have gone, and will gather them from every side and bring them into their own land;”‘”

Zechariah 12:9: “It shall be in that day that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem.”

Bottom Line: If God were to change His mind about the covenant He made with Israel, He would immediately become a God you couldn’t trust not to change his mind about you. It’s ridiculous to even think about God in the same way as you would a cheating husband. You know what I mean: The other woman is just sure he’d never cheat on her, but if he cheated once… No. That’s not my God.

So, again, I have a heart for Jews, those I know and those I don’t, and for the nation of Israel, so seeing her vilified is beyond painful. I can’t even fully express how the rampant Anti-semitism hurts. How a world of people can choose to utterly ignore the reality of what happened on October 7th and what is being revealed in Gaza in favor of the carefully orchestrated…

No, I can’t even go there. I simply cannot comprehend the insanity.

If all you listen to is regular media and celebrities, you may think I’m nuts. If this is the case, I challenge you to download the Telegram app, subscribe to Amir Tsarfati’s channel, and pay attention to what he shares. I actually encourage everyone to do this. He’s a Messianic Jew living in Israel. He was a Major in the IDF, so he understands military campaigns, and he presents information in a way that makes sense. Just make sure you subscribe to his real channel, not one of the endless list of fakes. You can see in this picture that he has over 500,000 subscribers, so that’s the Amir Tsarfati you’re looking for.

Amir is someone I’ve trusted for years. He’s also an expert in End Times Prophecy and has several excellent books, both non-fiction and fiction, that are well worth checking out.

Ok, I’m determined to control my potential rambling, so I’ll say one more thing.

This is a spiritual war.

I’m not talking about the war in Gaza right now. I’m talking about the devil’s war on Jews everywhere. He hates the people God called His own, and we’re seeing that hatred exposed like never before, even in the church, which is heartbreaking. What’s happening isn’t natural; it’s supernatural, backed by demonic forces. What I’ve realized recently is that it’s also not limited to Jews who lives in “dangerous” areas.

True, I’ve spoken with a limited number of friends about this (talking about both practicing and Messianic Jews), but what I’m seeing leads me to believe that a full-blown demonic attack has been launched against all Jews everywhere. People who have been doing ok are suddenly fighting battles they never dreamed they would face, battle after battle in a seemingly never-ending cycle.

They need our prayers. Wherever they are, whoever they are, they all need our prayers.

I stand with Israel, and I stand with the Jews.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

SELF-SACRIFICING SPIRIT OF THE MISSIONARY.

Thou know’st not, Afric! sad of heart and blind,
   Unskilled the precious Book of God to read;
Thou canst not know, what moved that soul refined,
   Thy lot of wretchedness to heed,
And from her fireside, bright with hallowed glee,
To dare the boisterous surge and deadly clime for thee.
                                                                                    Mrs. Sigourney.

We know not how one may exhibit greater benevolence than to offer life for the spiritual good of the heathen; and he virtually does this who goes to some, at least, of the missionary stations. Those in Africa are the most unhealthy, and their history presents a frightful bill of mortality. In his journal of January, 1846, Dr. Savage, of the Protestant Episcopal mission in Africa, states that during the nine years previous to that date, the whole number of missionaries under the patronage of the different Boards, in Africa, had been sixty-one, and of that number forty were then dead. American Baptists alone lost eleven between 1826 and 1848. Five of them were buried in the single town of Monrovia. With such facts as these, touching African missions, staring the disciple of Christ in the face, it must require no common degree of moral courage for him to embark in the enterprise.

The following letter, by Miss Maria V. Chapin, of Vermont, was written prior to her leaving this country for West Africa, and breathes the sentiments of a self-sacrificing and heroic Christian. Multitudes of like examples, equally as noble, might be pointed out, but it seems to be needless: this letter may stand as a type of the spirit usually exhibited under similar circumstances. It was addressed to the Rev. Dr. Vaughan, then Secretary of the Foreign Committee of the Protestant Episcopal church:

“The question of my personally engaging in a mission to the heathen, has long been before my mind, and received, as it claimed, my most serious and prayerful consideration. This great work is now brought nearer to my mind than I could ever before regard it, and I trust it does not appear the less desirable. I have considered the subject in every light, so far as I am able from the information I have respecting it, and I can never take up the question again, to find reasons for going. My mind is now settled as to the duty, should no unforeseen providence prevent, of leaving home and country for a heathen land. A long adieu to my kindred and friends will rend the heart; I feel already that it will; but at the same time, the prospect of doing good to some poor heathen soul will fill it with joy, and the hope of advancing, in ever so small a degree, the cause of my Redeemer, will be a constant feast to the soul. The silent tear of parental affection and solicitude would indeed overpower me, had I not confidence that He who thus afflicts, will support, my beloved parents. Neither, in the present case, can I think it proper to follow, altogether, the opinion of friends. With the smiles of my heavenly Father, I must be happy, though friends forsake me. I feel an inexpressible pleasure in commending them to God, assured that they will be enabled to give up their child without regret, in the hope that she will do good to perishing souls. And I have, also, that blessed hope, that, should we never again meet in this world, we shall be a happy family circle at the right hand of God. Still, I feel my own insufficiency to decide a question of such importance as that of leaving all that the heart holds most dear on earth, to encounter the toils and hardships of a missionary life. Indeed, I would not decide for myself. I trust solely to Him who has promised grace and strength. Though, at times, great weakness has constrained me to shrink at the prospect before me, I have been consoled and supported in the assurance that God will perfect strength in my weakness. I feel a desire to act in accordance with the will of God; to do nothing which would be displeasing in His sight. I think I am willing to be, and to do, anything for the sake of the glory of God; and if I can only be sure that I am wholly under the guidance of His spirit, I shall be fully satisfied. It is difficult, I know, to analyze one’s feelings, and ascertain the real character of the motives by which we are actuated; I feel my liability to be deceived, and my need of Divine assistance. The only question which concerns me, is, are my motives pure and holy? Never would I bear the missionary standard, without having in my heart the missionary spirit. I have calmly and deliberately weighed the subject, and feel that no attraction from its novelty, no impulse from its moral dignity, can bear up, and carry forward any one, amidst the long continued labors of almost uniform sameness which you represented to me; nothing but a thorough conviction of being in the path of duty, nothing but the approving smile of Heaven, can keep one from despondency, from sinking into hopeless in-activity; but I have calmly and deliberately weighed the subject, and feel a willingness to give up comforts, and submit to privations, to forsake ease and endure toil, to assemble no more ‘with the great congregation,’ but seek the Lord in the wilderness, or in the desert -in short, to make every sacrifice of personal ease and gratification, for the one great object of making known a crucified Saviour to those who are perishing in ignorance and sin. Indeed, what sacrifice can be too great, if what is done for Him who bought us with his own blood can be called a sacrifice, for those to make, who have themselves experienced the efficacy of a Saviour’s blood? I have reflected, that should I go out, cheered by the smiles of friends, and encouraged by the approbation of the churches, yet soon, amidst a people of strange speech, I shall see these smiles only in remembrance, and hear the voice of encouragement only in dying whispers across the ocean. Yet, when I have considered the command of Christ, ‘Go ye and teach all nations,’ -and when in pouring out my soul on this subject to the Father of light, I have realized more of that sweet ‘peace which passeth all understanding;’ objections have all dwindled to a point; I have been enabled, by the eye of faith, to discover the finger of God, pointing me to the benighted African, and have heard his voice saying, with the affection of a Father and the authority of a Sovereign, ‘Come, follow me’ – ‘He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me;’ and adding, for my encouragement, ‘I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.’ I do feel that God calls me to become a missionary, and do, with this belief, resolve to consider myself as devoted to that service, hoping that God will qualify me, and make me a faithful servant for Christ’s sake.”*

* This letter was written in the fall of 1841. Miss Chapin, afterwards Mrs. Savage, embarked for Africa on the twenty-eighth of the following January, and reached Cape Palmas on the twenty-fifth of March. As might be anticipated, her labors soon closed. She died on the field, in December, 1843.

                        “That life is long which answers life’s great end.”

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

Do the Small Things

Do you remember those stories from the Bible where God asked people to do something relatively simple and then He all-out went supernatural on them?

He’s still in the same business today, and this blog is a great example of Him at work.

You are probably well aware that authors write not only because we are compelled to, but because we want to reach people, share our excitement about new things we’re learning, offer suggestions for life…whatever. In my case in particular, you get a true hodge podge of American History, living with a narcissist, aphantasia, my tiny house, a lot of Jesus, and we – even I – never know what randomness to expect.

But it’s not really totally random. I try to be led by God in all things. I have dreams, and for the most part they’re dreams He has given me. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” I firmly believe that He gives us those desires, meaning He plants them in our hearts, and then He fulfills them. He does that with me on a regular basis. Knowing this is how He operates, I really do consciously go to Him for direction, especially for this blog He has called me to maintain.

So, when he asks me to do the small things, I try to be faithful to do them, and in recent months He’s gone supernatural on – in a huge way.

First, He had me write Understanding Your Aphant. Then, right after I posted it, He had me share it in an aphantasia support group on Facebook to see if there were any ways in which I could improve it. There were some excellent suggestions, and I implemented a few.

I was unaware that someone in that group had contact with Aphantasia.com, and that person brought my blog post to their attention. The result was that they published it as an article on the website and started pushing traffic toward tammycardwell.com. I was blown away by the response. As I said, I write with a heart that desires to help people. And the more people you have reading what you write, the more people you can help!

But that was just a taste of what was to come. I still can’t get over this next one.

I recently joined a Small Spaces group on Facebook to get more ideas for my tiny house. After I’d been there a day or so, at His prompting, I shared about my home and what I’m doing in it. It was a simple post with a few photos, nothing great.

It was a small thing.

The simple post exploded with comments and questions. In answering, I shared the link to this blog, pointing out my Tiny House series, so that anyone who was interested could come read those posts and get far more details than I could offer up in post comments.

Again, I just shared a link. A small thing.

Within a very few minutes, I was getting notifications that I was experiencing “unprecedented traffic.” On that day this blog, which generally gets less than 100 views a day, got almost 9,000 views from nearly 4,000 visitors all over the world. That’s thousands of people seeing my website for the first time, visiting for one topic and hopefully getting some Jesus while they were here. (If you know me at all, you know where my true priorities lie.)

And, vitally important, because of one seemingly insignificant comment I made, I had the opportunity to encourage some women who are dealing with serious issues I’ve dealt with personally. This was a huge honor; one I cannot overemphasize. After all, the greatest thing about coming through trials is being able to help others see hope while they walk that same path.

So yes, I have recently had more reminders that God is our dream keeper, and have seen once again that all I have to do is what He tells me to. He didn’t tell me to do big things. He told me to do small things.

Do the small things.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

He Let Everyone Hear

In Luke 23:34 NLT, you read, “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.‘“ This line always makes me pause, because it shows His tremendous love for the people, His mercy, and His grace, but there is another verse in this chapter that also makes me sit up and take notice.

Think about every crucifixion scene you’ve ever watched. Almost always, you hear Jesus gasp out words just before he dies.

But that’s not what happened.

“Then Jesus shouted, ‘Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!’ And with those words he breathed his last.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭23:46‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Did you see it?

Jesus SHOUTED.

At the end, He left no room for doubt. With a voice that could be heard by everyone present, this man for whom shouting should have been a physical impossibility (google crucifixion) let everyone know that God was His father and that He was still the one in control. By all rights, it should have taken several more hours for Him to die, but He very publicly died when HE chose.

Everyone present had to recognize the significance, so it’s really no surprise that the soldier made his declaration in verse 47.

They were all there either to mourn or to mock and jeer. They were also there, whether they liked it or not, to hear.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Merry Christmas to Me!

Here I sit, thinking about Christmas, and my heart is so full it could almost be Thanksgiving. I decided to come share, and find myself oddly short on words. So this may be a “scribble scrabble letter,” as Jo March would say. (I don’t have a copy of Little Women, so feel free to correct the quote in the comments.)

Although Jack passed on October 1st last year, it feels like it’s Christmas that marks the true end of my first year of freedom. I was still finding my way in those first few months, navigating “new widowhood” waters. So much has changed.

Things are still changing, as I’m recognizing ingrained “training” and countering it. Like the day, only a few months ago, when I realized I was rushing through a store and stopped in the middle of an aisle, frozen by the realization that I was still acting as if he were at home growing progressively angrier at my absence. There was NO ONE, other than me, who cared where I was or what I was doing. Yes, I intentionally slowed down and chose to enjoy the process.

So, side note: When you’re coming out of an abusive relationship, realize that it will take time to deal with all your baggage. That was a heavy backpack I’d not even realized I was wearing.

So many wonderful things have happened in the past year. Relationships that had been strained (because of him) have been growing increasingly stronger. My emotional health has improved unimaginably. And my physical health, TIA aside, has been great too.

Where my body is concerned, I’ve had more money and mental real estate to invest in taking care of me. I’d tried before, because I knew I had to stay healthy to keep him healthy, but his care had always been the priority. Now I am at a place where I know what works for me and I’m able to plan to maintain. For instance, knowing I’ll go months without widows’ benefits, I’ve been buying my key supplements in advance. Part of them anyway. I could never have done that before.

The biggest change is peace. I always tried to stay focused on God, and had His gift of peace, but the peace that comes from no constant strife and no 24/7 television? That is something I still delight over. My home is so quiet most of the time that…it’s bliss.

And it’s true. I really don’t own a television and it’s by choice. Many people think I’m nuts, but on those rare occasions when I’m in the mood, like during this season of The Voice, I watch with my sister on the couch that’s only steps away. (And yes, I’m glad Huntley won, though I felt the last four all could have.)

I’ve been asked if I plan to stay in my tiny home until Jesus comes back. Yes, unless God has a different plan, I do. I am happier here than I have been anywhere. I hate housework, and this requires almost none. I love silence and this gives me much. I have family right here, and love the casual time I spend with them.

Yeah, that’s a big part of why I’m so thankful this Christmas season. Casual fellowship with family is a beautiful thing. It doesn’t have to be planned; it just happens. Even my grandson pops in on occasion, sometimes with his fiancé, and that sort of thing never would have happened before. Frankly, it would have made me uncomfortable on many levels back when Jack ruled the house.

As I celebrate Jesus this season and look to 2024 with anticipation, my heart is full. There were so many years when… Nah, not even going to think about those years. They’re over. God has brought me into a new season.

“Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.”
‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭2:11-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Who’s in Your Corner?

I was honored, today, by being asked to take on a new ministry responsibility. I accepted readily, because I believe in my boss’ ability to hear from God. That does not mean I was confident in my own ability to fulfill the role.

I immediately leapt into studying and preparation, but even after more encouragement from she who asked me, I had doubts about me. So after work I played it smart and texted my sister asking for prayer. She agreed to pray, but she also sent the following.

“I remember how scared you were before your first speaking engagement at a conference. And look how you came through that.

“I remember how scared you were before you got your job at Bath and Bodyworks and you rocked it.

“Need I go on?”

She didn’t need to. Those reminders of past victories were all it took. She Who Is Always In My Corner came through for me again.

We all need someone who’s in our corner, someone we can rely on for encouragement and pep talks. (Likewise, we need to be the same for others.)

Who’s in your corner?

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Help the Weak. Be Patient with Everyone.

Two solid weeks of sick do not make for a blog that stays current.

The first week I was on vacation, and the second week I went to work feeling like I hardly had two brain cells to rub together, wanting nothing more than to go home and crawl back into bed. Honestly, I don’t know how I got my work done at all. So yeah, everything else flew out the window.

Now that my brain is actively working again, I’m thinking about the spiritually weak, those who are so sick with worry that they can hardly function, whose lives seem to be in such a tailspin that they feel they hardly have two brain cells to rub together, and the ones who are so in need that they can’t even think to ask for help. 1 Thessalonians 5:14 tells us, “We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”

My sister was that help while we were on vacation together. What should have been at least a decent visit with her son was severely damaged by what we at first thought were only allergies (made unimaginably worse by the two flights it took to get to Las Vegas from Houston) and the fact that I could only go and do for so long before collapsing. There was no doing all the fun stuff that we had been looking into. Nonetheless, she showed that patience Paul talks about here. She was a nurturer and encourager. She was everything I needed her to be. Likewise, the people I work with were incredibly encouraging and patient with me last week as I crept through the days feeling mostly like a failure. I am surrounded by wonderful people.

So… What about me? Am I one of those wonderful people? Am I like my sister, giving encouragement, nurturing, and helping those who are weak? Am I like my co-workers, who patiently put up with my constant coughing, nose blowing, and failure to accomplish great things? I would like to think so, but I’m stepping back right now and doing some serious assessing of the person I look at in the mirror.

I want to like her. I want to respect her. I want to know that she reaches out in honesty and sincerity at all times. I want to know that her heart genuinely loves people and she doesn’t allow impatience to color her actions, or busyness to keep her from reaching out to the fainthearted and weak. Shoot, I want to know she’s so sensitive to what’s going on around her that she notices!

It’s amazing what being sick can teach you.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Serve

Photo excerpt from Inspire Bible, NLT, Tyndall House Publishers, Inc.

In John 13:3-7, we learn something vitally important. Verses 3 through 5 tell us, “Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.”

I think about this scene and wonder what went through the disciples’ minds as Jesus rose from the table.

“What is He doing? Is He going somewhere?”

Then He took off His robe, which had to really make them wonder. And when He poured water into the basin? Had they figured it out at that point? Maybe?

If so, I’ll bet they were shooting truly startled glances at each other, trying to decide who would speak first. Their Rabbi, this man they had followed, who had led them and taught them, loved them and corrected them, was behaving like a common household servant.

By this time, they surely knew He did nothing without purpose. But what was His purpose? They had to wonder.

“You don’t understand now what I am doing,” Jesus told Peter, “but someday you will.”

The reason for what Jesus was doing – serving – is rooted in verse 3: “Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God.” Jesus knew exactly who and what He was. He had absolutely nothing to prove to anyone, no doubts about Himself.

This passage has been used often to remind us that as Christians we are here to serve, and that is the clear message here (v. 12-17). But there is, perhaps, a less clear message waiting for us as well. It is the man who does have something to prove that refuses to serve, but demands service. It is the unsure man who requires that a pedestal be planted firmly under his feet.

Jesus could serve readily as He did because He was confident in Who He was. This is key. As Christians, we need to pursue a genuine understanding of who we are in Christ Jesus. Once we grasp the fullness of this revelation, it will be nothing for us to kneel and wash another’s feet. Service will have become part of who we are.

I have seen this over and over in those with whom I serve. My pastor, who is also my boss and a tremendous man of God, reminds the staff often that to follow Christ is to serve, and we should check our hearts if we ever forget this fact.

But what about those that some would call Christian celebrities? Yes, if they truly follow Jesus, they serve. You may not see or recognize their service for what it is, but I assure you it’s true; if they wholeheartedly follow Jesus, they serve.

John Ramirez is one excellent example of this. He comes to our church every year, and draws large crowds when he does. The last time he came, he showed up at the church early on Sunday morning – just walked in the front door like anyone else. Some of us were setting things up for service and he joined right in, picking up the end of a table to move it into place. When urged to stand aside and let others handle it, he reminded us that we’re all servants, him included, and assured us that he wanted to serve.

That’s what I’m talking about. He knows who he is in Christ Jesus! Yes, he is John Ramirez, someone we look forward to being with every year, but first and foremost he is a follower of his Lord, Jesus Christ, and that is what really matters.

Child of God, remember who you are, whose you are. Yes, as a son or daughter of the Most High, you are indeed a very important person. You have absolutely nothing to prove to man, because you have already been approved by the One who really matters. So set aside all pride and need for validation. Be confident in who you are and follow the example Jesus set for us: Serve.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C