From TV to Reality: Our Unforgettable Trip to Laurel, MS

Around the beginning of the year, I told my sister Clarissa I was ready for a road trip. We hadn’t done one in forever and I thought we should plan one to celebrate her upcoming birthday. I gave her the choice of destination and she immediately chose Laurel, Mississippi, the home of Ben and Erin Napier and origin of HGTV’s popular Home Town.

I’d never seen an episode at that point, but she took care of my lack of education, and I was immediately hooked. I’ve always been a sucker for revitalizing historic areas, love the show, appreciate the atmosphere you pick up on in their episodes, and was really looking forward to the experience. After the fact, I’m here to say that, of all the vacations we’ve taken together, this was one of the best!

Big picture: Although we did plan for travel to other cities, we focused primarily on the historic part of Laurel, which is where the Napiers and their businesses are, and from the beautiful architecture to the quirky streets to the phenomenal people, we truly felt right at home. Admittedly, this is an area rich in tourists, so obviously the businesses are going to focus more on customer service than the average checker at the big box store. Still, we weren’t the only tourists commenting on how friendly everyone was; I overheard several such conversations. Too, as a Christian, I was delighted by how many of the stores played Christian music.

We did make one major mistake, and I’ll share it right now so you can save yourself the frustration. We planned our trip for Saturday through Thursday. What we didn’t realize is that some of the places we would specifically end up wanting to go are only open Thursday through Saturday. We still had a fantastic time, but it would have been better if we’d done more research. We’ve already decided that, were we to go back, our trip would start on Wednesday.

We also could have attended church Sunday morning if we’d planned ahead. Honestly, it’s amazing what you don’t think about.

We arrived late on Saturday, so that day was a wash as far as Laurel was concerned. Then, on Sunday morning, with almost everything closed while people were in church, we parked downtown and started walking. It was a beautiful day, and we were able to ogle the gorgeous old houses and buildings to our hearts’ content because we pretty much had the streets to ourselves. By the time we got hungry, we found the one place that was open: Grits and Some. If you go to Laurel, plan to eat a meal at Grits and Some. I don’t remember what Clarissa ate, but I had some truly excellent biscuits and sausage gravy (more than I could eat), and the price was good. I paid around $7 before the tip. We fully intended to eat there again later in the week. That didn’t happen for two reasons: We failed to pay attention to their hours of operation, and we found something different for “breakfast” the next morning.

Enter Forever Nutrition. I’d heard of loaded teas before, but didn’t know what they were and this place sells them (and many other things). Since we were alone in the store the owner took time to fill us in on loaded teas and… well, a lot, really. By the time we left on that first day, we felt like we’d found a friend. From that point on, Forever Nutrition was our first stop in the morning. A healthy breakfast? Maybe not so much, but it sure tasted good, and we seriously enjoyed getting to know the owner a little better and hearing her thoughts about the town, and the Napiers.

Speaking of Ben and Erin, we saw them that day at lunch. At our new friend’s suggestion, we went to Wilson’s Commissary (southern cooking), which is what I think of as community dining. Instead of individual tables, you have long rows of tables. It’ an efficient use of space, allowing them to serve quite a few people in a small room, and it’s clearly a popular destination; they need all those chairs. At one point, while I was looking around, I caught a glimpse, only a glimpse, of a woman whose haircut matched Erin’s and who, even more telling, was using her hands the way Erin does when she talks. With people between us, I couldn’t be sure, so I texted Clarissa, who was sitting across from me. (Community tables, remember? I didn’t want to say it out loud and have the local beside me think I was a stalking fan.) She was able to see not only Erin, but Ben sitting beside her.

Did we approach them? Definitely not. We are fans, but not that type of fan. We just thought it was cool that we’d seen them in their normal habitat, so to speak. Interestingly, it seemed like Ben intentionally stuck around for a few minutes after everyone else in their party left, just to make himself available to people. I can’t be sure if that was his purpose, of course, but it was nice to see him shaking hands.

In talking to the owner of Forever Nutrition (Can’t believe I never got her name!), we learned that what we’d expected…hoped…is true. The town is very protective of this family. She didn’t tell us a whole lot, but did share one story that made it clear just how dangerous fame can be and how the town comes together to have their backs. All of which is another reason we had no intention of approaching them.

One last thing on food. We ate well while we were in Mississippi, but our hands down favorite restaurant was the Bird Dog Cafe. This is one of the locations Ben and Erin had worked on, which is why Clarissa knew about it and wanted to go. The atmosphere is phenomenal, but oh, the food! Oh man, the food! I just can’t! They have a great menu with fancier choices, but I opted for a meatball sub that beat every other sub I’ve ever had. My receipt says I also had a salad, and I’m sure it was awesome too, but that sub left an impact. I was so full that I almost didn’t order dessert, but I had a feeling their chocolate peanut butter cheesecake would be equally amazing. I was right. So, if you go to the Bird Dog cafe, get dessert too!

Moving right along, I’m sure it won’t surprise anyone that one of our favorite things to do when on vacation is shop. Even if I don’t have much to spend, as long as I have something budgeted for shopping I’m happy. With that in mind, some of the places that got my money were…

Office Products Center & Gifts
Yes, it’s an odd name. I didn’t ask, but suspect it started out as an office supply store and someone was smart enough to start adding gifts. It’s about half and half now, and though there were many things I liked, I settled on long-sleeved, Laurel-themed, Christmas Ts for the two of us. Clarissa found a gorgeous leather purse and a few other things. We were there for a while and had a blast visiting with the owner and other shoppers. It’s what I referred to earlier; even with other shoppers the feeling in downtown Laurel is one of community.

The Remnant
As soon as we heard about this resale shop, we knew we had to go, because its profits help fund housing for women and children who are going through truly hard times (think domestic abuse, recovery, etc.). Walking in was a nice surprise, because you don’t get a resale shop vibe at all. I suppose I would call it a resale boutique because they’ve done a beautiful job with the decor, and their staging of the antiques and similar items makes you feel like you’re in an antique store. They also sell clothing, and I did buy some.

The Plaid Pecan
Also a resale shop, this one netted me two sweaters and two tops, one of which was new with tags, and even the new top only cost $10. I left happy.

The Scotsman
Fans of the show know The Scotsman is Ben’s company. It sells a wide variety of both leather and wood items, as well as other very cool gifts. We shopped there two different days. The first day, I discovered absolutely adorable child-sized wood items: My youngest granddaughter got a maple cutting board, “knife,” and rolling pin for her birthday. They are made for a child, but are adult quality and I can see her using them for a very long time. The children’s section was a definite challenge to my self-control, and it was only one corner in a fabulous store. We spent a lot of time oohing and aahing that day. Then, after he learned about the leather items they offer, my brother-in-law had us go back the next day to shop for him, and we hit the Home Town fan jackpot.

One wall of the Scotsman is a huge window that lets you see into the wood shop where they film episodes. And they were filming! We got to speak with one of his team members while we watched, and learned some really interesting things – like just how grueling the shooting schedule is. We also shopped, and I bought one little thing for me, a leather business card holder. I couldn’t leave without something to help me remember the experience and, besides, I needed it.

Scent Library
I tried hard to resist the temptation. The Scent Library is another place we went twice, and the second time was because I could not get the memory of one particular candle out of my head. The Scent Library is Erin’s brainchild. Their tag line is “Every scent tells a story,” and the shop is set up accordingly; it looks like a library. The scent I couldn’t pass up is Leiper’s Fork. It makes me think fall and Christmas. Here’s its story.

On trips to visit friends outside of Nashville, we spent most of it at the hearth of a wood burning fireplace in Leiper’s Fork. After gathering firewood from the dense woods around their house, spending a cold night fireside in flannel pajamas was the best ending to the day. – Erin Napier

Since I was already buying one candle, it didn’t take much for the “Blind Date with a Candle” display to suck me in. One description sounded like it would fit me, and the discounted price was enough to bring me back to that table for the third and fatal…I mean final… time. I ended up with Ouida’s Garden, a luscious floral that I’m really glad I bought.

Hellfighters
This place is amazing! At first glance it looks like it would be a motorcycle shop, and it is, but it’s much more. They do custom work on bikes and Jeeps and have quite a few bikes in the showroom/store. They carry a little of everything from clothing in a variety of styles to accessories to fun and funky gifts to… Well, everything. They also have a motorcycle history museum upstairs that we both enjoyed visiting.

And best of all, which we didn’t learn until we checked out, they support Mission At The Cross, a home that helps recovering addicts find victory. We were told that pretty much everyone who works there is someone who has been going through their program, so they’re also being prepared to re-enter the workforce. Definitely pay this place a visit!

You’ll find street after street of shops and places to eat in Laurel. These are just the ones I can remember because I still have the receipts. There are other things to do as well. They have multiple museums, and the visitors center is a must. Not too far down the road is a living history museum that our poor planning kept us from experiencing. As I said earlier, there were several interesting places we missed because of our scheduling mistake.

They also have events throughout the year, and I’m sure the place is beautiful at Christmas. Clarissa is already talking to Brother about going back at some point during the holidays for that very reason. If you’re looking for a road trip, here’s your sign.

Review: Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse

A domestic abuse survivor recommended that I read Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse: Reaching for God’s Promise of Real Freedom, by Karen DeArmond Gardner. I took her advice because, as I hope I’ve made clear, I’m no expert on this topic. I can and will speak from my own experience and the stories others have shared with me, but I truly feel inadequate; I’m doing it because God has pushed me to, not because I consider myself qualified.

I do feel qualified, however, to recommend this book. It has not only educated me in areas of abuse and results of abuse that I’ve not dealt with, it has also forced me to deal with some things I didn’t even realize were issues in my life.

I never experienced physical abuse. Gardner did, so if you’ve been reading my posts and thinking, “Tammy, you just don’t know,” here’s someone who does, and she lived with the abuse for decades. She also experienced pretty much every other kind of abuse, which is why I found myself in these pages as well.

In case you’re still wondering, Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse is for all of us – even those who are still living in their own personal hells, under their abusers’ control, and don’t know how to get out.

Gardner divides the book into sections that equate with the walk we all take on our journey to healing. In Part 1, we deal with the fact that we are, or were, victims. In Part 2, we’re survivors learning to breathe again. Part 3 introduces the overcomer, the one who learns to live again. In Part 4 we meet the Conqueror who can live freely. No, it’s not a literal roadmap. As is true with most things, we all have our own, unique experiences. However, the ground she covers is vast.

As you can see in the photo of my copy, I’ve done some serious marking and flagging. One of my favorite quotes, because it reflects exactly what I’ve been saying about my own experience, is found in Part 3.

“Your life will not be defined by what was done to you, but by what God does with what was done to you.”

Karen DeArmond Gardner

Gardner’s brutal honesty, with herself and us, is eye-opening. As many truths as I had already recognized about my own experience, with her help I saw even more. “Yes!” I shouted at one point. “Yes, it WAS abuse, and all this time I thought it was normal!”

Recovering from any abuse takes time. Recovering from domestic abuse definitely takes time, and patience, and honesty, and a willingness to be open to God’s touch in your life. This book is a great place to start that process and Gardner walks you carefully through the mine field of your memories and emotions, leads you right up to Jesus, and gives you practical steps to take to help you on your way.

Even her last section, after the official four parts, offers unexpected assistance.

  • How Does God Know What It Feels Like to be a Woman?
    Yes, she honestly answers this question.
  • Your Picker Isn’t Broken
    When you are ready to marry again, you will know what to look for.
  • Eight Questions You Don’t Have to Answer
    People inevitably ask questions. That doesn’t mean you owe them an answer.
  • God, Church, and Abuse
    Realistically, a lot of abuse happens that the church has no idea how to handle.
  • What Can the Church Do?
    This one is directed at church leadership, and it’s excellent!
  • Say This, Not That
    And this is for your friends, to help them understand.

As a fellow member of the club no one ever wants to join, Gardner has done right by the rest of us!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Merry Christmas to Me!

Here I sit, thinking about Christmas, and my heart is so full it could almost be Thanksgiving. I decided to come share, and find myself oddly short on words. So this may be a “scribble scrabble letter,” as Jo March would say. (I don’t have a copy of Little Women, so feel free to correct the quote in the comments.)

Although Jack passed on October 1st last year, it feels like it’s Christmas that marks the true end of my first year of freedom. I was still finding my way in those first few months, navigating “new widowhood” waters. So much has changed.

Things are still changing, as I’m recognizing ingrained “training” and countering it. Like the day, only a few months ago, when I realized I was rushing through a store and stopped in the middle of an aisle, frozen by the realization that I was still acting as if he were at home growing progressively angrier at my absence. There was NO ONE, other than me, who cared where I was or what I was doing. Yes, I intentionally slowed down and chose to enjoy the process.

So, side note: When you’re coming out of an abusive relationship, realize that it will take time to deal with all your baggage. That was a heavy backpack I’d not even realized I was wearing.

So many wonderful things have happened in the past year. Relationships that had been strained (because of him) have been growing increasingly stronger. My emotional health has improved unimaginably. And my physical health, TIA aside, has been great too.

Where my body is concerned, I’ve had more money and mental real estate to invest in taking care of me. I’d tried before, because I knew I had to stay healthy to keep him healthy, but his care had always been the priority. Now I am at a place where I know what works for me and I’m able to plan to maintain. For instance, knowing I’ll go months without widows’ benefits, I’ve been buying my key supplements in advance. Part of them anyway. I could never have done that before.

The biggest change is peace. I always tried to stay focused on God, and had His gift of peace, but the peace that comes from no constant strife and no 24/7 television? That is something I still delight over. My home is so quiet most of the time that…it’s bliss.

And it’s true. I really don’t own a television and it’s by choice. Many people think I’m nuts, but on those rare occasions when I’m in the mood, like during this season of The Voice, I watch with my sister on the couch that’s only steps away. (And yes, I’m glad Huntley won, though I felt the last four all could have.)

I’ve been asked if I plan to stay in my tiny home until Jesus comes back. Yes, unless God has a different plan, I do. I am happier here than I have been anywhere. I hate housework, and this requires almost none. I love silence and this gives me much. I have family right here, and love the casual time I spend with them.

Yeah, that’s a big part of why I’m so thankful this Christmas season. Casual fellowship with family is a beautiful thing. It doesn’t have to be planned; it just happens. Even my grandson pops in on occasion, sometimes with his fiancé, and that sort of thing never would have happened before. Frankly, it would have made me uncomfortable on many levels back when Jack ruled the house.

As I celebrate Jesus this season and look to 2024 with anticipation, my heart is full. There were so many years when… Nah, not even going to think about those years. They’re over. God has brought me into a new season.

“Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.”
‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭2:11-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Holes in Your Soul?

These are probably my favorite shoes…at least today. I have literally worn them out so completely that the duct tape you see is only covering holes in my soles – not really doing much to protect my foot. But you can’t see this important detail when you’re just looking down at my shoes.

Today, when I admitted to myself that I really need to dumpster these beauties, it occurred to me just how much they resemble the way we are sometimes.

We can look all pretty on the outside, making everyone think we’re just fine, while our souls seem to be held together with duct tape. The wounds may be hidden, but they are very real. I encourage you, don’t let yourself stay in such a condition. God is there, and He doesn’t just patch us up; He makes us new.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C