Author: Tammy M Cardwell

Lets Talk About the Jews

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I haven’t talked much about October 7 and the mass insanity that has flooded the world since that day, but I’ve done a lot of watching, praying, and hurting for Israel and the Jews around the world as well as those I know personally. Even now, I’m hesitant to start this post because there is so much on my heart that I’m concerned it’s all going to spill out in a jumbled mess of words and emotions.

First, to make myself clear,
I fully support Israel in this war and in general.
If you believe in replacement theology,
you and I are not on the same page.

Here are some of the reasons why:

Genesis 12:3: “I will bless those who bless you, And I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

Psalm 94:24: ” For the LORD will not cast off His people, Nor will He forsake His inheritance.”

Psalm 122:6: “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: May they prosper who love you.”

Ezekiel 37:21: “Then say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD: “Surely I will take the children of Israel from among the nations, wherever they have gone, and will gather them from every side and bring them into their own land;”‘”

Zechariah 12:9: “It shall be in that day that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem.”

Bottom Line: If God were to change His mind about the covenant He made with Israel, He would immediately become a God you couldn’t trust not to change his mind about you. It’s ridiculous to even think about God in the same way as you would a cheating husband. You know what I mean: The other woman is just sure he’d never cheat on her, but if he cheated once… No. That’s not my God.

So, again, I have a heart for Jews, those I know and those I don’t, and for the nation of Israel, so seeing her vilified is beyond painful. I can’t even fully express how the rampant Anti-semitism hurts. How a world of people can choose to utterly ignore the reality of what happened on October 7th and what is being revealed in Gaza in favor of the carefully orchestrated…

No, I can’t even go there. I simply cannot comprehend the insanity.

If all you listen to is regular media and celebrities, you may think I’m nuts. If this is the case, I challenge you to download the Telegram app, subscribe to Amir Tsarfati’s channel, and pay attention to what he shares. I actually encourage everyone to do this. He’s a Messianic Jew living in Israel. He was a Major in the IDF, so he understands military campaigns, and he presents information in a way that makes sense. Just make sure you subscribe to his real channel, not one of the endless list of fakes. You can see in this picture that he has over 500,000 subscribers, so that’s the Amir Tsarfati you’re looking for.

Amir is someone I’ve trusted for years. He’s also an expert in End Times Prophecy and has several excellent books, both non-fiction and fiction, that are well worth checking out.

Ok, I’m determined to control my potential rambling, so I’ll say one more thing.

This is a spiritual war.

I’m not talking about the war in Gaza right now. I’m talking about the devil’s war on Jews everywhere. He hates the people God called His own, and we’re seeing that hatred exposed like never before, even in the church, which is heartbreaking. What’s happening isn’t natural; it’s supernatural, backed by demonic forces. What I’ve realized recently is that it’s also not limited to Jews who lives in “dangerous” areas.

True, I’ve spoken with a limited number of friends about this (talking about both practicing and Messianic Jews), but what I’m seeing leads me to believe that a full-blown demonic attack has been launched against all Jews everywhere. People who have been doing ok are suddenly fighting battles they never dreamed they would face, battle after battle in a seemingly never-ending cycle.

They need our prayers. Wherever they are, whoever they are, they all need our prayers.

I stand with Israel, and I stand with the Jews.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Worry is Insidious

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It’s also a form of fear.

Shakespeare assured us that a rose, no matter what you called it, would still smell like a rose. Fear, no matter what you call it, is still fear, and as Christians we too often put God in the position of having to remind us of this fact. Like He reminded me not too long ago.

I was made aware of two situations that had me very much in God’s face, reminding Him of His Word, asking Him to move on behalf of the people involved, talking at Him a LOT.

Nothing wrong there, right?
So I thought at first.

Yes, I was interceding on behalf of my friends, which was undeniably the right thing to do. But then I woke up to what I was really doing, and my prayers changed. “What do you mean, Tammy?” I’m so glad you asked!

I was recently approached about a conflict and asked for advice. I felt strongly that one of the people was in chronic worry mode, being motivated by fear, and if they would conquer that fear (with God’s help, obviously) the conflict would resolve itself.

So, I took that situation and the person in question, to God. In no time at all, He connected this person’s situation with my earlier, somewhat desperate, prayers and strongly advised me to come here and share with you. 

Here’s the bottom line. In both cases, no matter what we called it, even if we assured ourselves that we were merely concerned or anxious, or perhaps admitted we were worried, we were both being motivated by fear.

In case you don’t realize it, God addresses the issue of fear hundreds of times in the Bible and makes it clear that faith and fear don’t mix. They are, in fact, diametrically opposed. Faith is confidently putting something in God’s hands. Fear, in any form, is refusing to leave it in God’s hands. Fear thinks God can’t really be trusted. Fear interferes with God as He is working.

You know how, in cooking, you prep some things and then put them on the stove where you must leave them alone for a while? That time when it’s left to cook is vital; if you give into temptation and stir the pot, you may ruin all you’ve worked for.

So, picture God prepping and putting the pot on the stove. He’s watching it carefully, but in your fear and impatience you grab a spoon and start stirring.

You mean well. You really do. Even so, in your worry that God won’t get it right you decide you need to take control of the situation, or at least feel like you’re taking control. God loves you, and the truth is He’ll let you yank that spoon away from Him even though He knows better than you do. If you’re a parent who has dealt with childish actions like these, you can imagine how your lack of trust makes Him feel.

Motivation matters regardless of what we’re doing. I really care about the people I was praying for, but it was only when I moved beyond my initial fear-founded prayers and into faith-based prayer that my prayers had true power. It was only then that I found genuine peace even knowing that, in that instant, nothing had noticeably changed. It was then that I was able to hear the voice of God and know what to do next.

Fear is insidious and wears many guises. We all must keep our shields up and ensure we don’t slip into being motived by it instead of faith.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

SELF-SACRIFICING SPIRIT OF THE MISSIONARY.

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Thou know’st not, Afric! sad of heart and blind,
   Unskilled the precious Book of God to read;
Thou canst not know, what moved that soul refined,
   Thy lot of wretchedness to heed,
And from her fireside, bright with hallowed glee,
To dare the boisterous surge and deadly clime for thee.
                                                                                    Mrs. Sigourney.

We know not how one may exhibit greater benevolence than to offer life for the spiritual good of the heathen; and he virtually does this who goes to some, at least, of the missionary stations. Those in Africa are the most unhealthy, and their history presents a frightful bill of mortality. In his journal of January, 1846, Dr. Savage, of the Protestant Episcopal mission in Africa, states that during the nine years previous to that date, the whole number of missionaries under the patronage of the different Boards, in Africa, had been sixty-one, and of that number forty were then dead. American Baptists alone lost eleven between 1826 and 1848. Five of them were buried in the single town of Monrovia. With such facts as these, touching African missions, staring the disciple of Christ in the face, it must require no common degree of moral courage for him to embark in the enterprise.

The following letter, by Miss Maria V. Chapin, of Vermont, was written prior to her leaving this country for West Africa, and breathes the sentiments of a self-sacrificing and heroic Christian. Multitudes of like examples, equally as noble, might be pointed out, but it seems to be needless: this letter may stand as a type of the spirit usually exhibited under similar circumstances. It was addressed to the Rev. Dr. Vaughan, then Secretary of the Foreign Committee of the Protestant Episcopal church:

“The question of my personally engaging in a mission to the heathen, has long been before my mind, and received, as it claimed, my most serious and prayerful consideration. This great work is now brought nearer to my mind than I could ever before regard it, and I trust it does not appear the less desirable. I have considered the subject in every light, so far as I am able from the information I have respecting it, and I can never take up the question again, to find reasons for going. My mind is now settled as to the duty, should no unforeseen providence prevent, of leaving home and country for a heathen land. A long adieu to my kindred and friends will rend the heart; I feel already that it will; but at the same time, the prospect of doing good to some poor heathen soul will fill it with joy, and the hope of advancing, in ever so small a degree, the cause of my Redeemer, will be a constant feast to the soul. The silent tear of parental affection and solicitude would indeed overpower me, had I not confidence that He who thus afflicts, will support, my beloved parents. Neither, in the present case, can I think it proper to follow, altogether, the opinion of friends. With the smiles of my heavenly Father, I must be happy, though friends forsake me. I feel an inexpressible pleasure in commending them to God, assured that they will be enabled to give up their child without regret, in the hope that she will do good to perishing souls. And I have, also, that blessed hope, that, should we never again meet in this world, we shall be a happy family circle at the right hand of God. Still, I feel my own insufficiency to decide a question of such importance as that of leaving all that the heart holds most dear on earth, to encounter the toils and hardships of a missionary life. Indeed, I would not decide for myself. I trust solely to Him who has promised grace and strength. Though, at times, great weakness has constrained me to shrink at the prospect before me, I have been consoled and supported in the assurance that God will perfect strength in my weakness. I feel a desire to act in accordance with the will of God; to do nothing which would be displeasing in His sight. I think I am willing to be, and to do, anything for the sake of the glory of God; and if I can only be sure that I am wholly under the guidance of His spirit, I shall be fully satisfied. It is difficult, I know, to analyze one’s feelings, and ascertain the real character of the motives by which we are actuated; I feel my liability to be deceived, and my need of Divine assistance. The only question which concerns me, is, are my motives pure and holy? Never would I bear the missionary standard, without having in my heart the missionary spirit. I have calmly and deliberately weighed the subject, and feel that no attraction from its novelty, no impulse from its moral dignity, can bear up, and carry forward any one, amidst the long continued labors of almost uniform sameness which you represented to me; nothing but a thorough conviction of being in the path of duty, nothing but the approving smile of Heaven, can keep one from despondency, from sinking into hopeless in-activity; but I have calmly and deliberately weighed the subject, and feel a willingness to give up comforts, and submit to privations, to forsake ease and endure toil, to assemble no more ‘with the great congregation,’ but seek the Lord in the wilderness, or in the desert -in short, to make every sacrifice of personal ease and gratification, for the one great object of making known a crucified Saviour to those who are perishing in ignorance and sin. Indeed, what sacrifice can be too great, if what is done for Him who bought us with his own blood can be called a sacrifice, for those to make, who have themselves experienced the efficacy of a Saviour’s blood? I have reflected, that should I go out, cheered by the smiles of friends, and encouraged by the approbation of the churches, yet soon, amidst a people of strange speech, I shall see these smiles only in remembrance, and hear the voice of encouragement only in dying whispers across the ocean. Yet, when I have considered the command of Christ, ‘Go ye and teach all nations,’ -and when in pouring out my soul on this subject to the Father of light, I have realized more of that sweet ‘peace which passeth all understanding;’ objections have all dwindled to a point; I have been enabled, by the eye of faith, to discover the finger of God, pointing me to the benighted African, and have heard his voice saying, with the affection of a Father and the authority of a Sovereign, ‘Come, follow me’ – ‘He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me;’ and adding, for my encouragement, ‘I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.’ I do feel that God calls me to become a missionary, and do, with this belief, resolve to consider myself as devoted to that service, hoping that God will qualify me, and make me a faithful servant for Christ’s sake.”*

* This letter was written in the fall of 1841. Miss Chapin, afterwards Mrs. Savage, embarked for Africa on the twenty-eighth of the following January, and reached Cape Palmas on the twenty-fifth of March. As might be anticipated, her labors soon closed. She died on the field, in December, 1843.

                        “That life is long which answers life’s great end.”

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

Am I Enough?

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Have you ever been held back by self-doubt, procrastinated starting something because you weren’t sure you could accomplish what you envisioned…or even what you know for a fact God told you to do?

I have. In fact, I have this very week. God gave me an assignment while in prayer and my immediate reaction was, “But can I? Am I good enough? Who am I to think people should listen to me, to what I have to say?”

I’ve heard many times some version of “God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called,” and I know for a fact that it’s true. But still, I have my moments of feeling inadequate and if I don’t respond to those moments correctly they can lead to unproductive seasons.

That very thing happened with Experiencing the Bible. God told me to write it, and I began it, but more than once I stopped working on it because I felt so unqualified. It should have been available a long time ago, but I only actually published it in June of 2022 because I gave in to self-doubt so many times.

I’m currently working on a new book, a devotional. I also plan to start a newsletter in which, among other things, I’ll share some of the devotions that will be published when I finish the book. Yes, I have some definite pieces in mind to write, and I actually do quite a bit of writing in my head anyway, but l’m way behind schedule in part because I sometimes don’t feel like I’m enough.

I’ve learned that the mastery of self-doubt is the key to success.

Will Smith

Will Smith is right about mastering self-doubt. The fact is, most people do fight feelings of inadequacy, occasionally need a boost of self-confidence. Those who succeed are the ones who learn to master it, to lean on what God has to say about them rather than what the people around them say or even what they believe about themselves.

We were all sinners until Christ saved us. He didn’t care.
We are all inadequate when God calls us. He doesn’t care.

We may not realize it, but there’s no way we start out ready to accomplish all He has planned for us, because His plans will always be bigger than what we can do on our own. This is why He repeatedly offers assurance in His Word. One of my favorite verses on this topic, which I stand on all the time, is In 2 Corinthians.

And God is able to make all grace overflow to you so that because you have enough of everything in every way at all times, you will overflow in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8 NET

So here’s the answer to the question, “Am I enough?”

Maybe not right now, but if God has told you to do it he will also make you able to walk through it. He will provide everything you need to become enough. Today, when He hands you the assignment or gives you the dream, choose to start where you are and begin moving forward. He’ll make you able. In fact, since He is both Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End, as far and He’s concerned, you already are enough!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

HUMANITY OF A CHEROKEE

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            How poor an instrument
May do a noble deed,
                                                Shakespeare

During the Revolution, a young Shawanese Indian was captured by the Cherokees and sentenced to die at the stake. He was tied, and the usual preparations were made for his execution, when a Cherokee woman went to the warrior to whom the prisoner belonged, and throwing a parcel of goods at his feet, said she was a widow and would adopt the captive as her son, and earnestly plead for his deliverance. Her prayer was granted, and the prisoner taken under her care. He rewarded her by his fidelity, for, in spite of the entreaties of his friends, whom he was allowed to visit, he never left her.

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

What Made the Difference? A Question About the Book of Daniel.

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I’m currently reading Amir Tsarfati’s new book Discovering Daniel, which is of course about the book of Daniel. It is proving to be every bit as good as his earlier book, Revealing Revelation, and there will be a review posted when I finish it. In the meantime, it’s got me doing a lot of thinking, and one of the paths my brain went down is demanding extra attention.

If you’re unfamiliar with the book of Daniel, the brief setup is that, because of its continual sin against God, Jerusalem was sacked and its best and brightest youth (boys, not men) were packed up and shipped back to Babylon. Well, they may very well have been forced to march those hundreds of miles, but you know what I mean.

So.
My thoughts.

All these Hebrew boys had been taken from their homes, dragged hundreds of miles to a totally new world, made eunuchs (something I can’t believe I’d never realized before), and indoctrinated into a radically different way of life. Every one of them had been completely stripped of his identity and, as far as we know, fallen into the trap that was Babylonian culture – except the four God ended up using in supernatural ways. 

What made the difference?

That’s been my question for a few days, and it’s one I’m still asking because I believe the answer is significant for us in our day and time. Why do some of our children stand strong when they get out into the new culture that is college or some other aspect of “the world” while so many others crumble? Why do people who have been attending church for years “suddenly” walk away, and not just away from church but away from God?

I see many factors at play. Clearly those we know as Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, and Daniel had genuine convictions about what they had been taught all their lives, including the fact that theirs was a God they dare not fail. They had truly learned from their nation’s history, and surely understood why judgement had fallen on Jerusalem. I personally feel God had probably already done things to validate their faith, too, since that seems to be His habit with those whose hearts are true to Him. 

Regarding their steadfastness, I’ve thought of several potential contributing factors. All things considered, however, I really believe one of the biggest reasons they stayed so faithful to God was their group relationship. The Bible says a companion of fools suffers harm, and I have a feeling these four had guarded against such companionship, that for years they had been supporting each other in their faith and helping one another grow. It is clear from the book of Daniel that they continued to support each other, encouraging one another to stay strong in their faith in this new setting.

Some people like to say, “I can worship God as well on the lake as in church,” as an excuse not to be involved in church, but it can be very hard to continue serving God in a relationship vacuum. Like these four amazing boys, we need each other. That three-fold cord that can’t be broken? (Eccl. 4:9-12) You don’t find it among those who are out there floundering. You find it in companionship with other people who are “of like precious faith,” people who will build you up while you build them up. 

That is one of the big reasons these four held fast when their entire visible identity was ripped away from them and a carefully planned course of brainwashing implemented. I’m convinced of it. 

Today, we do have God living inside us, teaching us, strengthening us, guiding us, and in general making the difference, but we still need that strong connection to other believers. We must have those true relationships that help us stay strong no matter what the world throws at us. God designed us to need such fellowship, and He commanded us to seek it out regularly in Hebrews 10:25.

I’d say we don’t have a choice, but we do. We can do like the rest of those Hebrew boys did and let ourselves be molded by the world, becoming just like them and in essence unrecognizable to our God. As parents, we can let our kids do the same and watch them fall into the traps set in our universities and the other places young people hang out.

But why? Why would we?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

May I Please Get Back to “Normal”?

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Actually, if I can just get back to what passes for normal… Yes, that sounds good!

Seriously, it was one month ago today that I posted Why Has Tammy Been Quiet?
It was eleven days ago that I posted, Sometimes You Just Keep Fighting.

It was THIS WEEK that I finally felt RIGHT again. I really was recovering when I made that post on May 6th, but one thing this whole event has taught me is that you don’t recover as quickly at 62 as you do at, say, 42.

I fought and made it through the work weeks, though exhaustion followed me home. Weekend before last my body shut down on me, demanding true recovery time. Last weekend was some better, though I felt like my brain was mush and still didn’t have it in me to think seriously about anything beyond the most basic household chores.

This Monday, while at work, I abruptly realized I was back to thinking totally clearly. I’ve still not been sleeping right, or not consistently, so I was ready to go to bed long before bedtime on Monday, but I was only sleepy rather than exhausted as I had been after work every week for weeks. Also, my brain proved itself to be back in order over the past two days when it let me take some very important training and pass the final exam. YAY!

In “Sometimes You Just Keep Fighting,” I said, “When God gives you an assignment, the devil is going to try to distract you, derail you, stop you.” At that point, I was talking about my calling in the church and the importance of the fundraiser I was working on. Today, however, I realized just how completely the devil managed to derail me where this blog is concerned. This, too, is my calling. I’m here for a reason, to serve a purpose, and for the past month the only word you’ve had from me came in the form of posts I scheduled weeks and, in some cases, months ago.

I’m so sorry.

Yesterday, as I left the office, I actually had a list of “catch up” errands I really need to take care of this weekend, but the Houston area was the recipient of some insane weather yesterday evening that left much of our area without power thanks to straight line winds that left a wide path of destruction. (Thank God our town, to my knowledge, didn’t see the threatened tornadoes!) Yes, we were part of the power outage and downed trees; the power came on at about 6:30 this morning. Praise God, the outside temp had dropped so dramatically that I actually slept ok. Well, as ok as I have been. After all those weeks of interrupted sleep, my body seriously needs to reset.

Anyway, I decided this morning that it doesn’t make sense to run any errands in this tree-and-trash ridden, many-areas-without-power town, so I’ve come to do some important catching up here instead.

I’ve already answered several more questions for my web developer today, so we’re making some progress there. This is your official, rambling update, so yay me…sort of. LOL! Now I have to decide what to do next, and I’m so far behind in all areas that I’m a bit overwhelmed by the number of options, but I’ll get it figured out. More to the point, I’ll look to God and ask for the next step.

THAT is one of the biggest bits of advice I can give you today. When you’re overwhelmed to the point of not even being able to face your To Do list, just ask God, “Sir? What do I do next?” If you let Him, The Holy Spirit will step in and lead you by the hand. If I didn’t already know this truth, I would after the last six weeks or so: As bad as I got mentally, God’s step-by-step leading was what got me through many of my days.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

A KIND-HEARTED CHIPPEWA.

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Both men and women belie their nature
When they are not kind.
                                                            Bailey’s Festus

In the early settlement of Ohio, Daniel Convers was captured by the savages; but he had the good fortune to be purchased by a noble-hearted Indian whose wife possessed a kindred spirit. His condition, we are informed in the Pioneer History of Ohio, “was not that of a slave, but rather an adoption into the family as a son. The Indian’s wife, whom he was directed to call mother, was a model of all that is excellent in woman, being patient, kind-hearted, humane and considerate to the wants and comfort of all around her, and especially so to their newly adopted son. To sum up all her excellences in a brief sentence of the captive’s own language, she was ‘as good a woman as ever lived'” 

* Mr. Convers escaped from his Chippewa friends, at Detroit. Touching the treatment he received from his adopted mother, a writer says: “How few among the more civilized race of whites would ever imitate the Christian charities of this untaught daughter of nature!”

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

AN INCIDENT IN MISSIONARY LIFE.

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Love’s holy flame for ever burneth;
From heaven it came, to heaven returneth;
Too oft on earth a troubled guest,
 . . . at times oppressed.
It here is tried and purified,
Then hath in heaven its perfect rest.
It soweth here with toil and care,
But the harvest time of love is there.
                                                            Southey

No class of laborers in the broad harvest field of the world endure so many sacrifices of comfort and of home felicities as the missionaries to foreign countries. Of the trials peculiar to mothers who go forth on such an errand of humanity, the keenest must be their separation from their children. The pernicious habits and influences of a pagan community, often render it absolutely necessary that their offspring should be sent to a civilized land to be educated. This duty, however painful, is imperative, and they who accuse the mother of hardness because she does it, are either grossly ignorant, or haters of truth. Many instances of heroic firmness and almost superhuman calmness under such trials, are on record, but one may stand as a type of the whole.

Mrs. Comstock * of the Burmah Baptist mission felt called upon to part with her two children, whom God had given her while on the field of labor. The hour for separation came, and taking them by the hand, she led them down to the ship that was to bear them for ever from her sight. Having invoked the blessing of Heaven upon them, she gave each the parting kiss and, with streaming eyes, lifted her hands towards heaven and exclaimed: ” My Saviour! I do this for thee.”

Amid the jungles of the East,
  Where gloomiest forms of sin are rife,
Like flowerets in a desert drear,
  Her treasured ones had sprung to life.

And smiling round her, day by day,
  Though cares unnumbered weigh her heart,
Their prattle, full of music tones,
  Unceasing joy and hope impart.

Their little minds, like tender buds
  In vernal hours, she sees unfold,
And young affection in their eyes
  Is gleaming like a gem of gold.

But ‘mid the toils that press her sore –
  The spirit-wants of ‘wildered ones –
These buds must often miss the dew,
  And plead in vain for constant suns.

She sees their smiles, their music hears,
  And feels affection’s holy thrall;
But duty’s voice, from out the skies,
  In sweeter tones, is heard o’er all.

To Western climes, illumed by truth,
  And blest with learning’s sacred flowers,
These blossoms of her heart must go,
  To bloom henceforth in stranger bowers.

She leads them to the waiting ship;
  She kneels in anguish on the deck,
And while she breathes a silent prayer,
  Their arms like tendrils twine her neck.

She tears her from the loved away,
  Whom she on earth no more may see,

And looking up to heaven, exclaims,
  “My Saviour, I do this for thee!”

Then hastens to her task again,
  The pleasant task her Saviour’s given,
That, finished all, she may ascend,
  And lure the distant ones to heaven.

• Sarah Davis Comstock was the wife of the Rev. Grover § Comstock, who was stationed at Kyouk Phyoo in the province of Arracan, Burmah. She was born at Brookline, Massachusetts, in 1812 and died at Ramree, April twenty-eighth, 1843.

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

Sometimes You Just Keep Fighting

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Last Saturday we had our annual crawfish boil and auction. It’s a massive fundraising event that provides the bulk of what we need for our many missions and outreach projects. The devil hates Operation BAM (The umbrella organization) and every year I remind my teams to keep the auction and everyone involved with it – our whole church, actually – in prayer because one thing that is consistent where this event it concerned is demonic attack.

This year we faced those attacks on a whole new level; members of our congregation were hit so often and so hard that I knew we were about to see something truly supernatural. The attacks kept on to even the day of, when a vital app crashed and required our silent auction team to pivot and make it work the old fashioned way.

That’s the big picture. Now mine.

At the end of March/early April, I discovered two things: Gnats had found their way into my apartment and I am terribly allergic to gnat bites. We started doing what we could to get rid of the gnats, and are still working on getting rid of them. (Many people have told me they’re exceptionally bad this year.) I also attacked my physical symptoms with everything I could – under my primary care’s supervision.

At one point, my chest and neck might as well have been one massive welt. Controlling the itch was a constant, 24/7 issue. At night, I was waking up every hour or hour and a half practically clawing my skin off, jumping up to re-medicate, suffering until the itching eased, and then trying to get a little sleep before it started again. In other words, I went weeks getting maybe three hours of sleep a night.

At the same time, I was taking massive doses of antihistamine. I was taking so much antihistamine that there was no way I could hydrate sufficiently. It was only near the end of this traumatic time that I remembered things like Liquid IV; I wasn’t thinking overly clearly. No surprise there; if you know anything about the dangers of sleep deprivation and dehydration, you can imagine where I was physically and emotionally. Actually, and mentally.

Demonic attack. Seriously.

This whole time, I was doing my part to prepare for the auction. This is part of my calling, and I intended to get the job done. I knew it was an attack, and I wasn’t going to let the devil win.

That last week before the auction was the worst. I was truly sick the whole week. In fact, there was a point at which I admitted, only to myself, that I might not make it through the whole week, much less through the event itself. Everything I did was a struggle, because I was physically drained and wasn’t able to think straight, and I was so concerned about making mistakes that I had someone check my work periodically. In point of fact, I did make some mistakes that I’ve had to clean up.

But I refused to give up the fight.

When God gives you an important assignment, the devil is going to try to distract you, derail you, stop you. I know this, and I was determined to give everything I had even if that everything wasn’t enough. I did make it through the week, and through the auction (with an unbelievably massive headache that didn’t respond to any medication), praying and relying on God to help me. I did what a good soldier does on the battlefield. I kept on fighting, moving forward one step at a time, convinced that God was in the process of working miracles. And He did.

We raised just under $200,000.00.

That sounds like a massive amount of money, and it is. The specific number was $197,500 which, if I remember correctly, is about $30,000 higher than our highest year to date. BAM stands for Be A Miracle, and this will enable us to be a miracle to even more people, more organizations, and more disaster areas than we ever have. And I was part of it!

Because I kept fighting.

The gnats are still around, though they don’t get in my apartment quite so easily now and the trap and spray I’m using pretty much kills them when they do. I also, thanks to the suggestion of a wise friend, bought a mosquito net for my bed and that’s kept me from being bitten while I slept. Now that it’s not being constantly irritated by new bites, my skin is clearing up and I’m definitely healing. Thursday night, for the first time in a month, I slept eight hours, and I’ve slept at least eight hours a night since then. This morning, driving to church, I realized that I finally felt right again – totally rested, thinking clearly, genuinely ready for another day.

All because I refused to give in and denied the devil the victory. As bad as it got, I won because I kept fighting.

Never give up!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C