worry

The Trifecta – Lessons Learned

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

If you’ve heard my story before, stick with me anyway. Please.

My life, until shortly before I turned 19, was filled with worry. I cannot sufficiently express how completely the worry consumed me. It was so bad, so constant, that it felt normal. And then the pastor of the church God had led me to only months (weeks?) earlier had an altar call for those battling worry.

I was there. So were many others. We lined the altar, standing shoulder to shoulder. Pastor Ronnie started at the end to my right; he prayed for people and they went to sit down. Pray, return to seat. Pray, return to seat. Pray, return to seat. And then there was Tammy.

He stopped in front of me, met my eyes, and said, “Stay right here.”

WHAT?!

Maybe you can imagine how I felt standing there. Worry was obviously a factor. What?! Why?! What was he going to do? Why was I different? How long did I wait? I was so far beyond all kinds of awkward that I have pretty clear memories of those relative hours I spent watching more and more people be prayed for and return to their seats.

After what felt like a month, he came back to me. He was completely serious, and kind, and loving as he stood before this 18-year-old girl he was only just getting to know. We never discussed this moment later, so I don’t know what he was thinking, but I know for a fact that he understood two things.

1. He was aware that my issue was beyond normal worry, that there was a spirit of worry he’d have to deal with.

2. He knew that my brain would need extra help.

As he stood in front of me, he had me hold out my arms. Then he took off his suit jacket and laid it across them. Again looking me in the eyes, he said, “I want you to imagine a river of blood running at your feet. I’m going to pray for you, and when I finish you’re going to drop my jacket. Think of it as your worries and see them disappear under that blood. And realize you’ll have to reach through the blood to pick them up again.”

Now, it’s been over 40 years, so obviously that’s not an exact quote, but you get the idea. He prayed. I don’t remember what he prayed, though I’m sure part of it was dealing with that spirit of worry, then he said amen and I dropped the jacket. I was free. I knew something big had just happened.

And now to why I entitled this “The Trifecta.” Pastor Ronnie, like Moses, did his part. God, just as was true in Egypt, did His part; He delivered me out of bondage to worry. Now it was time for me to do my part, to get the worry out of me.

I look back and I am so grateful! In comparing my walk to that of the Jews entering the desert, I see how easily I could have returned to letting worry rule over me, to go back to sacrificing myself on its altar. I didn’t in part because a wise man of God knew that I needed a tool, something to remind me that in order to carry the worry again I had to reach through the blood of Jesus to pick it up.

Once the spirit of worry was dealt with, the choice was mine, and it was an every day, every hour choice that I had to actively make. It is a choice I still have to actively, consistently make. In fact, I wrote a post not long ago entitled, “Drop It,” where I shared the new tool God had given me to help me deal with worry as well as a few other things. The devil knows what worked on me before, so he often tries to work the same tactic again. (Remember this when God delivers you from any addiction.)

Jesus said something along the lines of, “Don’t be afraid,” 365 times, and worry is a form of fear. So yes, He is well aware that it’s something we all deal with and yes, He is telling us it is something we can control.

For me, I kind of think it’s like Paul’s thorn in the flesh. God never removed that thorn, whatever it was, but He gave Paul the grace to deal with it. “My grace is sufficient for you,” God said in 2nd Corinthians 12:9. In 2nd Corinthians 9:8 we are told that God can cause all grace to abound towards us so we have every sufficiency for every good work. He gives us what we need to overcome.

Now, I will step to the side a second and say this. Sometimes He gives us the tool called medicine. A couple of times in the past 13 or so years, I spent a few months on antidepressants, and for years I carried a bottle of anti-anxiety medication with me. My occasional need for the anti-anxiety meds ended shortly after my husband passed away (which kind of makes clearer the stress I lived under). I am grateful that I had the medical help I needed when I needed it.

So, to bring this web-bound book to a close, when we need big things in our lives, it’s a team effort. God must be in the mix, a minister or other faith-filled believer may be needed, and we will have to do our part. Our part involves walking by faith, and that faith will require us to make the right choices and do the right things.

The three working together? That’s powerful!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Drop it!

Tammy M Cardwell1 Comment

Have you ever seen a dog chewing on something that would potentially harm it, and watched the owner give the sharp command, “Drop it!”?

Twice this week I’ve heard God say, “Drop it!”

The first time was when worry was trying to set in. Having dealt with anxiety and depression in the past, worry is a dangerous thing for me to be chewing on. Nevertheless, I was letting myself dwell on a certain mistake I’d made, and all of its possible repercussions, when I heard God’s voice. “Drop it!”

After I paused and intentionally dropped it, taking control of my thought processes, I had the vision of the owner and his dog. I laughed, and realized this particular lesson is one I’ll remember.

Then, today, I was mulling over how someone had misrepresented me. I know it sounds shallow, but that’s something I really don’t appreciate. The thing is, when you continue to dwell on something like that, chewing on thoughts of how offensive someone’s actions are, you venture into the realm of unforgiveness, which is seriously dangerous territory. I was headed in that direction when, once again, I heard the command, “Drop it!”

Dropping those thoughts took a little more effort, and some help from God, but I got me under control and I thank Him for it. I cannot afford to get into the sin of unforgiveness. I can’t afford to let anything at all hinder my walk with God.

So yeah…

When He says those words, I’m gonna make like the dog and drop it!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Meditations: Matthew 6:31-32

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Copyright Clarissa Pardue 2014
Copyright Clarissa Pardue 2014

Matthew 6:31-32
AMP

31Therefore do no worry and be anxious saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear? 32For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek after all these things; and your heavenly Father well knows that you need them all.

 

First God gives us a command, “Do not worry.” Worry, then, is something we choose to do or not do. This is interesting in itself because worry always comes with a sense of helplessness. Tell someone to stop worrying and their answer will likely be, “I can’t!” We honestly believe this when we say it, but God states quite clearly that we can stop worrying if we choose to. So when we worry we are actually listening to, and believing, two lies instead of one. We are listening to the lie that inspires the worry, and we are listening to the lie that says we are helpless to stop the worrying. Once again, listening to lies leads us to sin, in this case the sin of worry.

“For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek after all these things.” Why do the Gentiles (heathen) seek them? Because they have to! Unlike us, they don’t have a heavenly Father who sees their needs and supplies those needs. Like street children, they must grub around for whatever they can find and then fight to keep it. We, on the other hand, are our Father’s children. What child of a good, loving and prosperous father has to worry about food, drink or clothing? For that child to worry is absurd. For me to worry is absurd! “For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.”

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C