I Need These Nights

I just got home from our church’s monthly worship night. It’s one hour of nothing but worship-me and God. I need these nights. I need them for a variety of reasons.

One is that it’s a service for which I have no staff responsibilities. If you are on staff at your church, you know this is huge. For regular services, although I am definitely taking part, I am also sensitive to anything I might need to deal with as a staff member. In services, for instance, my phone is by me at all times in case another staff member texts with a question or needing help. At WILD Worship, we all put our phones away so they can’t distract us.

Two, I’m a worshipper. Yes, I worship in service. Yes, I worship at home. The atmosphere on these nights, though, is distinctly different. There is no substitute for groups of people coming together for the express purpose of worshipping God. This is true unity and it is a blessing.

Three, there are no distractions. It’s more than just putting away cell phones. It’s low lighting that helps minimize visual distractions. It’s going in knowing people are free to get up and move around, which means you don’t even think about them. You can more easily focus on God and God alone.

Four, and this is the point of the night: God. This hour is ALL about my personal relationship with God. It’s not just me singing awesome words to a song I know or being uncomfortable with a song I’ve never heard. I would get into these nights if the songs were sung in a language I don’t even understand.

Why? It’s WORSHIP. It’s getting face to face with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. Part of the time that means me singing the songs with an engaged heart. Part of the time it’s me singing or praying in tongues. Part of the time it’s just us, God and me, talking. A lot of the time it’s me listening while He talks.

And He does talk to me on these nights. While He has my undivided attention, He reveals things to me, gives me visions, explains things I’ve been wondering about, and more. I go into these nights knowing we will talk, expecting Him to be right there with me, and He has never failed to come.

Five, when He’s there with me, I have no choice but to self-check. I live an active God-focused life — praying, studying His Word, and in general spending time with Him every day, pretty much keeping up an ongoing conversation. Even so, knowing that I will sense Him there beside me during that hour, I start these evenings with my focus on me, checking my heart, seeing if I’ve let my attention shift in the past month, and repenting as needed. This is my monthly reality check, and I value it in part for that reason.

I value these nights. I treasure them. I need them. I dare say we all do.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Tiny House Part 2: The Plan

If you haven’t read last week’s post, The Dream, you may want to start there. It’ll be a quick catch up.

So we had the basic area, and in coming weeks we discussed various fine points about the floor plan as they worked on it in the evenings and on weekends. This was a pretty constant back and forth as each of us realized or thought about certain things. For instance, they decided quickly that there was no way I’d be comfortable with the small shower stall we’d been considering, so they opted for a 36″ shower instead. (Bless them!) It wasn’t a huge difference, but it did affect the floor plan.

Too, I was determined to bring my washer and dryer, no matter what it meant giving up, so we measured and measured and measured again before settling on where these two appliances could go and exactly what base cabinets we could allow for the kitchen area.

One of the first things I did was get my hands on a pad of graph paper and start playing. I drew and redrew (to scale) as we adjusted and changed our minds about the big stuff (bath, washer, dryer, kitchen area, etc.), and then I cut out little pieces of sticky notes to represent the things I had to keep and the things I wanted to keep.

After a bajillion attempts, and a lot of help from them, we finally settled on this.

On the side of this image, you see a couple of pieces labeled pink chair and bookcase. Those were the last two “want to keep” items I had to get rid of. Everything else was “have to keep.” Well, I suppose that, technically, the bookcase could have gone, but it fits where it is and when I reach the point of posting pictures you’ll see how important it is to me.

Even after we settled on this, a few changes were made. I nixed the area of the closet labeled “shelves,” for instance, when I stumbled across a plan that would work and save them some time and money. Saving them time, effort, and money was a challenge. Several times I had to convince them that I didn’t need certain things – like flooring over this stained concrete that I love, and an actual door on the bathroom. I LIKE my bathroom curtain, and it’s only me here, so…

They wanted to give me perfection but with the limited time they had for the actual construction, perfection really wasn’t an option. Honestly, as I type this, there are still things needing to be finished as he finds the time to work on them because the calendar caught up with us. They literally only paused the work long enough for me to move in and then picked it back up for a few days to get things close enough to finished that they felt I could live here comfortably.

They have been absolutely amazing, and I bless God every day for this home that I’ve been in for a little over a month. In fact, as I was talking to God just yesterday I realized that I am as happy here as I ever have been in any other home I’ve ever lived in, happier than in most.

I’m literally living the dream.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Only in the Night

Eleven years ago, a friend and neighbor called me late at night, telling me that I absolutely had to head over to witness something she was sure I had never seen. She was right.

Night Blooming Cereus, at least the particular plant you see in this admittedly not-great photo, only blooms at night, and only blooms once a year. I’d seen it many times during the day and it was a remarkable plant – remarkable in that it wasn’t all that attractive. She cared for it tenderly though, and nurtured it, because of how glorious it is on that one night a year.

I spent a lot of time over there that night, chatting with my friends and admiring a thing of beauty that was entirely new to me. What if I’d not been home? What if I’d refused to respond to the invitation? I would have missed out, and I would’ve had no idea what I was missing.

The fact is, there are a lot of beautiful things we can only see in the dark. Plants like this one, fireworks, the stars…

The same applies to dark times in our lives. Frankly, there are many truly wonderful things that can only be seen and understood when we let God lead us through the night.

Do we want to walk in the dark? Not really, no. But just like I would have missed that one-night-only flower if I’d refused to accept the invitation and step out, we miss many nighttime-only lessons when we refuse to let God lead us through those dark days of our lives.

Uncomfortable? Undeniably.

Potentially fear inducing? Yep.

Profitable? Beyond our wildest imaginations.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

American Women: A Christian Woman in the Hour of Danger

O rainbow of the battle-storm!
    Methinks thou’rt gleaming on my sight;
I see thy fair and fragile form
    Amid the thick cloud of the fight.
                                                Sara J Clarke

One grain of incense with devotion offered,
Is beyond all perfumes or Sabean spices.
                                                Massinger

The following incident, we are informed by Mrs. Ellet, was communicated to a minister- – Rev. J. H. Saye –by two officers in the Revolutionary war. One of them was in the skirmish referred to; the other lived near the scene of action; hence, it may be relied on as authentic. The name of the heroine is unknown, which is greatly to be regretted:

“Early in the war, the inhabitants on the frontier of Burke county, North Carolina, being apprehensive of an attack by the Indians, it was determined to seek protection in a fort in a more densely populated neighborhood in an interior settlement. A party of soldiers was sent to protect them on their retreat. The families assembled, the line of march was taken towards their place of destination, and they proceeded some miles unmolested -the soldiers marching in a hollow square, with the refugee families in the centre. The Indians who had watched these movements, had laid a plan for their destruction. The road to be traveled lay through a dense forest in the fork of a river, where the Indians concealed themselves, and waited till the travelers were in the desired spot. Suddenly the war-whoop sounded in front, and on either side; a large body of painted warriors rushed in, filling the gap by which the whites had entered, and an appalling crash of fire-arms followed. The soldiers, however, were prepared; such as chanced to be near the trees darted behind them, and began to ply the deadly rifle; the others prostrated themselves upon the earth, among the tall grass, and crawled to trees. The families screened themselves as best they could.The onset was long and fiercely urged; ever and anon amid the din and smoke, the warriors would rush, tomahawk in hand, towards the centre; but they were repulsed by the cool intrepidity of the back-woods riflemen. Still they fought on, determined on the destruction of the victims who offered such desperate resistance. All at once an appalling sound greeted the ears of the women and children in the centre; it was a cry from their defenders – a cry for powder! ‘Our powder is giving out,’ they exclaimed. ‘Have you any? Bring us some, or we can fight no longer!’ A woman of the party had a good supply. She spread her apron on the ground poured her powder into it, and going round, from soldier to soldier, as they stood behind the trees, bade each who needed powder put down his hat, and poured a quantity upon it. Thus she went round the line of defence, till her whole stock, and all she could obtain from others, was distributed. At last the savages gave way, and, pressed by their foes, were driven off the ground. The victorious whites returned to those for whose safety they had ventured into the wilderness. Inquiries were made as to who had been killed, and one running up, cried, ‘Where is the woman that gave us the powder? I want to see her!’ ‘Yes!- yes!-let us see her!’ responded another and another; ‘without her we should have been all lost! The soldiers ran about among the women and children, looking for her and making inquiries. Directly came in others from the pursuit, one of whom observing the commotion, asked the cause, and was told. ‘You are looking in the wrong place,’ he replied. ‘Is she killed? Ah, we were afraid of that!’ exclaimed many voices. ‘Not when I saw her,’ answered the soldier. ‘When the Indians ran off, she was on her knees in prayer at the root of yonder tree, and there I left her. There was a simultaneous rush to the tree–and there, to their great joy, they found the woman safe, and still on her knees in prayer. Thinking not of herself, she received their applause without manifesting any other feeling than gratitude to Heaven for their great deliverance.”

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

TAMMY’S NOTE

I hope you’re enjoying these glimpses into American History. At one point, I collected antique history books both because they were a pleasure to read and because, as we know, the closer you get to the source the more accurate your information is likely to be. Even as I handle the book, while pulling from its pages, it astounds me that I have the honor of holding a piece of American History that is over 160 years old!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

THE Best Pizza Cutter

Ok, I’ve made it clear in other posts that I’m an Amazon Associate now. So you can expect to see more product reviews from me and this is the first.

Knowing I wouldn’t have a true kitchen, I got rid of almost all of my cooking & baking supplies. This was NOT one of them. I may or may not be cooking pizzas in my microwave, but there are plenty of other things I’ll be able to cut up with this lovely thing.

The Kitchy Pizza Cutter cuts like a charm and is truly ergonomic. That’s not what really sets it apart for me, though. One of my biggest gripes with most pizza cutters is cleaning. This one solves all cleaning issues. Just pop open the flap and it comes apart into three pieces: plastic cover, clear plastic blade shield, and blade. Wash, dry, and pop it back together.

You can’t see much of the blade shield in this picture, but it’s the clear plastic part on the left, right below the blue. It rolls around and shields the blade in your drawer, which also protects unwary fingers. If you cook pizzas (Or cut up any number of other things.) You would love this.

Kitchy Pizza Cutter Wheel with Protective Blade Cover, Ergonomic Pizza Slicer

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Don’t Get Ahead of God

One of my group members (Experiencing the Bible for Christians) recently posted something simple that instantly triggered a memory.

Don’t get ahead of God.

It’s kind of obvious. We all know about Abraham and Sarah and how, when they decided to get ahead of God, they ended up with Ishmael – and problems. Even so, this morning, when thinking about her post, I had a flashback.

I’m not sure how old I was. I was definitely old enough to know better, though I was still a kid. We’d gone to the store and were walking across the parking lot with Mother when I decided she and my sister were too slow. So I took off, getting ahead of them. In seconds, Mother called my name in panic and a glance showed me I’d been crossing the path of an oncoming car. Thankfully, the driver had quick responses and I wasn’t hit. I got a good talking to that day. I also learned the absolute necessity of looking both ways instead of running blindly forward.

Don’t get ahead of God.

There’s a reason He holds us to a certain pace, and we have no way of knowing what that reason is until He tells us, if He tells us. When we get ahead of Him, we can really mess things up. When we get ahead of Him, we can also get hurt, sometimes badly. Life can be like that car that was quickly bearing down on me; we need to stay sensitive to our Father and not walk out in front of something that can mow us down.

Don’t get ahead of God.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Neck Pain, Meet the Power Team

Wow, you can tell from the photo that I’m not a pro at this!

I had scoliosis as a child. Thankfully, my chiropractor was able to straighten my spine, but the lingering effects mean I visit him several times a year. In the past year and a half or so, those visits have grown further apart thanks to two things.

One of my most consistent issues has always been neck pain. I’ve tried a variety of helpful tools through the years, including an inversion table. The inversion table worked wonders, and I highly recommend them, but I got rid of mine after my husband passed because I didn’t feel safe using it with no one around. (It was an old one; I’m sure the newer ones are fine, but now I have no space.)

But one day, while watching a TikTok of a mobility coach I’d been following (Yes, TikTok made me buy it!), I learned about Restcloud’s Neck and Shoulder Relaxer. It’s the funny-looking blue thing in the photo, and it’s essentially a cervical traction device. It’s super easy to use and only takes about twenty minutes – ten lying on it one way to help the muscles start to relax and ten more lying on it after having flipped it around so it can actually stretch your neck.

That’s a super simple explanation but let me assure you it’s a wonderful thing! Even before I got the Sutera pillow you also see in the photo, this was helping me so much that I was encouraging my relatives to buy it!

I’d been looking at the Sutera pillow for a while, but was hesitant to spend the money without talking to someone who actually slept on one. Then a fabulous friend bought a two-pack and gave me one of hers. Oh. My.

I’ve lost track of the number of pillows I’ve tried through the years, most of them rather pricey, only to find that they weren’t so wonderful after a few weeks. The goal was always to get rid of neck pain, and it seemed most of them didn’t help at best and, in some cases, made it worse. Granted, we are each unique individuals with our own sleep styles; I knew it would take some searching, and I’m glad the search is over.

I’ve had this Sutera pillow for five months now and let me tell you… As odd looking as it is, it is uniquely helpful. I flip flop all night, switching from side to side to back, and this pillow serves in all positions. According to what I’ve read, it’s also great for stomach sleepers if that happens to be you.

So these two odd ducks are my pain-fighting power team. If I come home from work with a neck that is tense after hours of computer use, I’ll take a “blue thing” break and feel the stress slip away. I also use it at night a lot as a preventative. I don’t want pressure building up, so when I get in bed I’ll do the twenty minutes, then set it aside and pull my pillow into place. I get so relaxed on the stretcher that I’ve caught myself drifting off a few times. (Note: They do NOT recommend sleeping on it!)

So yes, if you suffer from neck pain or tension headaches, these two.

If you can only get one, start with the neck stretcher. At least, that’s what I suggest.

When I first thought to share about these, I was just going to share, but I’ve since learned about the Amazon Associates program, that I can earn a little extra money that way. You’ll actually read more about that in a Tiny Home Life post that I’ve scheduled for early October, but I want to share these now.

RESTCLOUD Neck and Shoulder Relaxer

SUTERA Contour Memory Foam Pillow

Here’s to less neck pain and zzzzzzzful sleep!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Time to Explain

I’ve been absent for much of this year, particularly in recent months. Yesterday’s post gives a hint as to why.

My focus has been necessarily narrow. God first, then work, then figuring out the big move.

I have seen much in the Word that I wanted to share, but actually marshaling my thoughts into words on virtual paper seldom happened. Likewise, I learned a lot while preparing for the move into my tiny home that I wanted to share, but I wanted to be consistent in the sharing.

Consistency. It’s something I’ve been lacking most of this year, and I hate it. So I took a few vacation days and spent time working on the blog. I pulled Noble Deeds of American Women back out and got weekly posts scheduled through the end of the month. Then I started a new series about living my dream in my tiny home. It, too, is scheduled weekly through the end of the month.

So the foundation is laid, and I hope to build firmly upon it. That’s the plan at any rate.

I also learned about Amazon affiliate marketing, which could theoretically help my finances tremendously. So I’ll be setting that up this weekend and I’ll start adding product links to my existing reviews and including the same when I mention the things I’m using in my tiny home.

Hopefully that doesn’t offend. When you’re a 60+ year old widow with large debts you want paid off, you seek out what income you can find. (Remember I also have Experiencing the Bible available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook.)

I’ve spent even more time in the Word this year than I usually do, so I definitely plan to get back to sharing that. It’s just…it’s a lot! I’ve occasionally tossed out bits and pieces in my Facebook group, Experiencing the Bible for Christians, but I’ve not even been very active there. Much to my shame.

It’s been an interesting almost-year since Jack passed away. Honestly, until memories of that last hospital stay started showing up on Facebook I didn’t realize how close I was to the one year anniversary. It’s been a time of great growth for me, and of freedom. I’ve changed a lot on the inside since my December 31 post where I publicly shared the lie I’d been living and how it felt to suddenly be free.

And… stop, Tammy. It’s time to stop for now. But hopefully this time I really am back to consistently sharing with you.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Tiny House Part 1: The Dream

I’ve been fascinated by tiny houses since I first learned about them and I’ve always felt that, if I were alone, I could live in one and enjoy it. I loved the idea of getting rid of the unnecessary and paring my life down to what really matters.

Through the years, my conviction grew, especially as life with my husband became increasingly challenging. I pretty much ended up living in our bedroom until after his passing when I was able to “move back into” the rest of the apartment. Living in the whole house was amazing at first, but eventually it began to feel like too much. I didn’t need almost 1,000 square feet and, frankly, I grew uncomfortable with that much space.

When he passed on October 1 of last year, I lost his income, so I knew immediately that when my lease was up I would have to move out of our two-bedroom, one bath apartment. The challenge was that rents in our town have increased astronomically in recent years and my options were extremely limited. I knew that, if nothing else, my kids would welcome me into their home, but no one wants to do that to their children. Well, I didn’t.

I must pause to give glory to God here. Losing my husband’s income left me literally unable to pay the full rent. He’d been sick for nearly ten years, and life with him had been expensive. Our savings was gone, and the credit cards were maxed out. And no, as I imagine is true of many narcissists, he had no life insurance. No matter how tightly I ran the budget, how much I went without, I was consistently hundreds of dollars short of having enough to last a month. The money simply wasn’t there. BUT GOD WAS.

God provided faithfully. Every. Single. Month. For months on end, people gave me money without knowing why they were giving it. It was always exactly what I needed to make up for the shortfall. I did eventually start receiving my widow’s benefits, which made things worlds easier, but that was months later. God made sure my rent was paid one way or another in the meantime.

Eventually, after months of housing research and lots of prayer, not knowing what I was going to do, a beautiful offer was made to me. I was invited over and shown a small area inside a big building. “If we built this out, could you live here?”

“YES! I definitely could!”

And so, we jumped in. They started work on putting things together at their place, and I began taking things apart at mine. Some parameters were already set. The area they’d selected had originally been intended as a sort of pool house: It had three walls in place, one window, and an area that was already partially plumbed and would become my bathroom. The footprint was 22′ by 10′. Yes, I was moving into 220 square feet. My tiny home dream was going to become a reality at the same time my financial burden would be greatly reduced. Double win! (Well, triple win, because I was going to live only yards away from my very best friend.)

Within days of the decision being made, I’d gotten my hands on a pad of graph paper, mapped out what I thought would be the final footprint of my efficiency/studio/tiny home, and started reality checking. What were the necessities? What was possible? What was doable?

It was time to start working out a plan.

And this is the first in a series that will cover my tiny home life!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

American Women: Ann H. Judson

ANN H. JUDSON

God has a bright example made of thee,
To show that womankind may be
Above that sex which her superior seems,
                                                           Cowley.

About the commencement of the present century, a new field was opened for the display of Christian heroism. The despairing wail of the pagan millions of the East, had reached the ears of a few of the most devoted people of God on these Western shores, and the question arisen, Who shall lead the way to heathen realms, who among us first encounter the perils of an attempt to plant the standard of the Cross beside the pagodas of Buddhism? He who would then go forth, must leave his native land with the parting benediction of but few friends; must be accompanied with few and faint prayers; must make his own path through the tiger-haunted jungles, and face alone the untried dangers of a dubious assault on the strongholds of pagan superstition. But, notwithstanding the discouragements inwoven with the contemplation of the undertaking, and the great peril that must attend its completion, it was magnanimous and sublime, and there were hearts in the land philanthropic enough to embark in it and brave enough to face its terrors without fainting.

Among the foremost Americans who offered their services in this work, were the Rev. Adoniram Judson and his wife. They embarked from Salem, Massachusetts, for Calcutta, with Samuel Newell and lady, on the nineteenth of February, 1812: and five days afterwards Messrs. Hall and Nott, with their wives, and Mr. Rice, sailed from Philadelphia for the same place. The names of these pioneer missionaries are sacred to the memory of all living Christians, and, being embodied in the history of the grandest enterprise of the age, are to be handed down to all future generations.

While all the female portion of this little band, exhibited many excellent traits of character, and worked well while their day lasted, no other one endured so many and so great hardships and trials, encountered such fearful perils, and had such an opportunity to test the strength of the higher virtues, as Mrs. Judson.

Ann Hasseltine was born at Bradford, in Essex county, Massachusetts, on the twenty-second day of December, 1789. She was an active and enthusiastic. child; of a gay disposition, yet thoughtful at times; and before she was seventeen, gave religion that attention which its importance demands.

She became acquainted with Mr. Judson in 1810. He was then a student in the Andover Theological Seminary, preparing for the work of foreign missions A mutual and strong attachment sprang up, and they were married in February, 1812, two weeks before their embarkation for India.

Mr. and Mrs. Judson first halted at Serampore. There, soon after their arrival, they were immersed by an English missionary, having changed their views of the ordinance of baptism on the long voyage across the Atlantic and Indian oceans. From that place they were soon driven by the Directors and Agents of the British East India Company, who were at that time opposed to the introduction of the Christian religion into those parts. They sailed from Madras for Rangoon, on the twenty-second of June, 1813, and settled at the latter place.

From the commencement of missionary toil, Mrs. Judson had many inconveniencies to encounter, but they were met with patience and served to strengthen that energy which, it will be seen, was afterwards so much needed and so strikingly displayed. Four or five years after settling at Rangoon, Mr. Judson went to Chittagong, in a neighboring province, to secure help, some Arracanese converts being there, who spoke the Burman language. He expected to return within three months. “At the expiration of this period, however, when his return was daily expected, a vessel from Chittagong arrived at Rangoon, bringing the distressing intelligence that neither he nor the vessel in which he had embarked had been heard of at that port. Similar tidings were also contained in letters which Mrs. Judson received from Bengal.

“While the missionaries were in this state of fearful suspense, an incident occurred which was well calculated to increase the perplexity and dismay in which they were plunged. Mr. Hough,* who had continued quietly studying the language at the mission house, was suddenly summoned to appear immediately at the court house, and it was rumored among the affrighted domestics and neighbors who followed the officers that came for Mr. Hough, that the king had issued a decree for the banishment of all the foreign teachers. It was late in the afternoon when he made his appearance before the despotic tribunal that was charged with the execution of the imperial decree, and he was merely required to give security for his appearance the following morning; when, as the unfeeling magistrates declared, ‘if he did not tell all the truth relative to his situation in the country, they would write with his heart’s blood. Mr. Hough was detained from day to day on the most flimsy pretences, himself unable to speak the language, and with no one near him who would attempt to explain his situation or vindicate his objects and his conduct. The viceroy whom Mr. and Mrs. Judson had known, had recently been recalled to Ava, and he who now held the reins of the government was a stranger, and, as his family were not with him, Mrs. Judson, according to the etiquette of the court, could not be admitted to his presence. The order which had led to the arrest was found to relate to some Portuguese priests whom the king had banished, and Mr. Hough was at first summoned to give assurance that he was not one of the number, and then detained by the officers in order to extort money for his ransom. He was at length released by order of the viceroy, to whom Mrs. Judson boldly carried the cause and presented a petition which she had caused her teacher to draw up for the purpose.

“The anxiety occasioned by this arrest and its train of petty annoyances, and still more by the protracted and mysterious absence of Mr. Judson, was at this time greatly increased by rumors which reached Rangoon, of an impending war between the English and the Burman governments. There were but few English vessels lying in the river, and the English traders who were in the country were closing their business and preparing to hasten away, at any new indications of hostilities that should be presented. The condition of the missionaries was rendered still more distressing by the ravages of the cholera, which now, for the first time made its appearance in Burmah, and was sending its terrors throughout the empire. The poor people of Rangoon fell in hundreds before its frightful progress. The dismal death-drum continually gave forth its warning sound as new names were added to the melancholy list of victims to the desolating malady. In these gloomy circumstances, they saw ship after ship leave the river, bearing away all the foreigners who were in the province, until at length the only one remaining was on the eve of sailing. Harassed with doubts concerning the uncertain fate of Mr. Judson, and surrounded with perils, they saw before them what appeared the last opportunity of leaving the country, before the threatened hostilities should begin, and they should be exposed to all the merciless cruelties of barbarian warfare.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hough decided to go on board and escape to Bengal, while escape was still in their power, and they urged Mrs. Judson to accompany them. She at length reluctantly yielded to their advice, and with a heart burdened with sorrows she embarked with her companions, on the fifth of July, in the only ship that remained to carry them from the country. The ship, however, was delayed for several days in the river, and was likely to be subjected to still further detention. Mrs. Judson, who had gone on board rather in obedience to the entreaties of her associates, and the dictates of prudence, than from the suggestions of that truer instinct which often serves to guide the noblest natures in great emergencies, now decided to leave the ship and return alone to the mission house, there to await either the return of her husband, or the confirmation of her worst fears respecting his fate. It was a noble exhibiton of heroic courage, and gave assurance of all the distinguished qualities which, at a later period and amid dangers still more appalling, shone with unfailing brightness around the character of this remarkable woman. The event justified her determination; and, within a week after her decision was taken, Mr. Judson arrived at Rangoon, having been driven from place to place by contrary winds and having entirely failed of the object for which he undertook the voyage.”**

In the summer of 1890, Mrs. Judson’s health had become so far undermined by the deleterious influences of the climate, that it was deemed necessary that she should go to Calcutta for medical advice, better physicians being located there than in Rangoon. She was so feeble that her husband was obliged to accompany her. She was soon removed to Serampore, where were eminently skillful physicians and a purer atmosphere. Her health so improved in six months that she returned with her husband to Rangoon. The malady which had afflicted her was the chronic liver complaint. It was not entirely removed at Serampore, and a few months after her return, it began to distress her more than ever. It was now thought that nothing but a visit to her native land could save her. Accordingly, on the twenty-first of August, 1891, she started for Calcutta, where, after some delay, she found a ship bound to England, by which route she returned, reaching New York on the twenty-fifth of September, 1822.

She remained in this country nine months, During that short period, aside from paying a visit to her relations, she attended the Triennial Convention at Washington, held in May, 1823; visited the larger cities North and South; attended numerous meetings of female associations; and prepared a history of the Burman mission which was so ably written that even the London Quarterly Review, and, if we mistake not, other English periodicals of high critical character, noticed it in commendatory terms.

The following extracts from letters written to Dr. Wayland while in this country, show the interest she took in the affairs of Burmah while absent from that land of her adoption. Under date of “Baltimore, January twenty-second, 1823,” she says, “I want the Baptists throughout the United States to feel, that Burmah must be converted through their instrumentality. They must do more than they have ever yet done. They must pray more, they must give more, and make greater efforts to prevent the Missionary flame from becoming extinct. Every Christian in the United States should feel as deeply impressed with the importance of making continual efforts for the salvation of the heathen, as though their conversion depended solely on himself. Every individual Christian should feel himself guilty if he has not done and does not continue to do all in his power for the spread of the gospel and the enlightening of the heathen world. But I need not write thus to you. You see, you feel the misery of the heathen world. Try to awaken Christians around you. Preach frequently on the subject of Missions. I have remarked it to be the case, when a minister feels much engaged for the heathen, his people generaly partake of his spirit.”

Writing from Washington in the following March she says, “I long to be in Rangoon, and am anxiously hoping to get away in the spring. Do make inquiries relative to the sailing of ships from Boston and Salem. I must not miss one good opportunity.”

With her health much improved though not fully restored, she sailed for her Burman home on the twenty-second of June, 1823, and reached Rangoon on the fifth of the following December. She found the work of the mission prospering. The next year, however, a war broke out between the Burman government and the English in Bengal, and, not only suspended the operations of the missionaries, but jeopardised their lives. They were supposed to be spies employed by the English government. Mr. and Mrs. Judson, with Dr. Price, another of the missionaries, were at that time at Ava, where the imperial government of the Burman Empire had just been removed.

“It was on the eighth of June, 1824, that a company of Burmans, headed by an officer, and attended by a ‘spotted-faced son of the prison,’ came to the mission house, and, in the presence of Mrs. Judson seized her husband and Dr. Price, and after binding them tight with cords, drove them away to the court house. From this place they were hurried, by order of the king, without examination, to a loathsome dungeon, known as ‘the death prison,’ where along with the other foreigners they were confined, each loaded with three pairs of fetters and fastened to a long pole, so as to be incapable of moving. Meanwhile, Mrs. Judson was shut up in her house, deprived of her furniture and of most of her articles of property, and watched for several days by an unfeeling guard, to whose rapacious extortions and brutal annoyances she was constantly exposed, without being able to make any exertion for the liberation of the prisoners, or the mitigation of their cruel sentence. She however, at length succeeded in addressing a petition to the governor of the city, who had the prisoners in charge. By a present of one hundred dollars to his subordinate officer, their condition was somewhat meliorated, and by the unwearied perseverance of Mrs. Judson, and her affecting appeals to the sympathies of the governor, he was induced to grant her occasional permission to go to the prison, and at length to build for herself a bamboo shed in the prison yard, where she took up her abode, in order that she might prepare food for the prisoners, and otherwise minister to their necessities.

“At the end of nine months they were suddenly removed from Ava to Amarapura, and thence to a wretched place several miles beyond, called Oung-pen-la, where it was arranged that they should be put to death in presence of the pakah-woon, as a kind of sacrifice in honor of his taking command of a new army of fifty thousand men about to march against the English. This sanguinary chief had been raised from a low condition to the rank of woongyee; but in the height of his power, just as he was about to march at the head of the army he had mustered, he fell into disgrace, was charged with treason, and executed, at an hour’s notice, with the unqualified approbation of all classes of people at Ava. His timely execution saved the missionaries from the fate which hung over them, and they were left uncared for in the miserable cells of Oung-pen-la, till the near approach of the English to the capitol induced the king to send for Mr. Judson, to accompany the embassy that was about to start for the English camp, for the purpose of averting the destruction that now threatened the Golden City.

“During this period of a year and a half Mrs. Judson followed them from prison to prison, beneath the darkness of night and the burning sun of noon-day, bearing in her arms her infant daughter, – the child of sorrow and misfortune, who was born after the imprisonment of its father, – procuring for them food which Burman policy never supplies to prisoners, and perpetually interceding for them with their successive keepers, with the governor of the city, with the kinsmen of the monarch, and the members of the royal household. More than once the queen’s brother gave orders that they should be privately put to death; but such was the influence which Mrs. Judson possessed over the mind of the governor, that he evaded the order each time it was given, and assured her that for her sake he would not execute her husband, even though he was obliged to execute all the others. And when at last they were to be taken from his jurisdiction and driven to the horid prison-house of Oung-pen-la, at the command of the pakah-woon, the old man humanely summoned Mrs. Judson from the prison where he had permitted her to go and sit with her husband, in order that she might be spared the pangs of a separation which he had not the power to prevent. Her own pen has traced, in lines that will never be forgotten by those who read them, the affecting history of the dismal days and nights of her husband’s captivity. We follow her alike with admiration and the deepest sympathy as she takes her solitary way from Ava, at first in a boat upon the river, and then in a Burman cart, in search of the unknown place to which the prisoners have been carried. At length, overcome with fatigue, with exposure, and the bitter pangs of, hope deferred, we see her in a comfortless cabin, prostrate with disease and brought to the very gates of death, -while her infant is carried about the village by its father in the hours of his occasional liberation, to be nourished by such Burman mothers as might have compassion on its helpless necessities.

“Such is a single scene from this melancholy record of missionary suffering. History has not recorded: poetry itself has seldom portrayed, a more affecting exhibition of Christian fortitude, of female heroism, and all the noble and generous qualities which constitute the dignity and glory of woman. In the midst of sickness and danger, and every calamity which can crush the human heart, she presented a character equal to the sternest trial, and an address and fertility of resources which gave her an ascendency over the minds of her most cruel enemies, and alone saved the missionaries and their fellow captives from the terrible doom which constantly awaited them. Day after day and amid the lonely hours of night was she employed in conciliating the favor of their keepers, and in devising plans for their release, or the alleviation of their captivity. Sometimes, she confesses, her thoughts would wander for a brief interval to America and the beloved friends of her better days; ‘but for nearly a year and a half, so entirely engrossed was every thought with present scenes and sufferings, that she seldom reflected on a single occurrence of her former life, or recollected that she had a friend in existence out of Ava.’ “***

When peace was declared between the two powers, by the terms of negotiation, the European prisoners were all released; and thus closed the long and brutal incarceration of the missionaries. Mr. and Mrs. Judson immediately departed for Rangoon. They soon removed to Amherst, a new town on the Salwen or Martaban river. After having established a mission there, Mr. Judson had occasion to visit Ava. He started on the fifth of July, 1826, leaving his wife and infant daughter in the care of kind friends. He was detained at the Capital longer than he had anticipated; and before he returned he received the painful intelligence that his wife was dead. “A remittent fever had settled on her constitution, already enfeebled by suffering and disease, and she died on the twenty-fourth of October, 1826, amid the universal sorrow, alike of the English residents at Amherst and of the native Christians who had gathered around her at her new home. Her infant daughter died a few weeks afterwards, and side by side they were laid to rest, under a large hopia tree a few rods from the house where she had resided. Two marble stones, procured by the contributions of several female friends in her native land, are the humble memorial that marks the spot where sleeps one whose “name will be remembered in the churches of Burmah, in future times, when the pagodas of Gaudama shall have fallen; when the spires of Christian temples shall gleam along the waters of the Irrawaddy and the Salwen: and when the ‘Golden City’ shall have lifted up her gates to let the King of Glory in.”

* Mr Elough was a printer in the employment of the Baptist Board

AUTHOR.

** Gammell’s History of American Baptist Missions

*** Gammell

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Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
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