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Thankful for the Hard Things

Tammy M Cardwell1 Comment

I’ve explained before that God uses the trials and tribulations in our lives, that even the hard times can result in great good if we let God lead us through them. Growth is usually part of the good, as is the gaining of tools. Today I’m thanking God for turning my most recent trial into a tool.

I had already made some definite lifestyle changes before I had the TIA (mini-stroke) last month. I’d cut way back on sugar, dropped sodas almost completely, and begun intermittent fasting to help me gain control of my eating habits in hopes of losing weight.

I’d also started taking some very important supplements. If you read my post Tired of Exhaustion?, you’ve heard of them. Both are from Solle Naturals; they’re Vital and Cinnamate. Oh, and I’d started on Terry Naturally’s Adrenaplex. I started it because it helps your adrenals, and that helps with hormone issues. I’ve since discovered that it’s helping me with a lot more!

So when I had the TIA, I was already on the right course. My A1C was 5.9, which was a bit of a surprise, but since I was already a few weeks into multiple products that help control sugar issues (plus I’d made my dietary changes), it didn’t concern me much. When we discussed my cholesterol numbers, pretty much everything that was suggested I already do-or don’t do since I neither drink nor smoke.

I was able to assure the counselor that I did all the right things until she said, “Cut back on processed foods.” My sister instantly spoke up. “Oh, she’s bad about that! But she’s going to start eating with me!” I didn’t hesitate to publicly accept that offer! Now I just eat like a queen and give her most of what I used to spend on groceries. Win! The only other facet that needs attention is exercise, and I’m working on becoming more serious about that.

So yes, there are lots of great changes being made. I’ve since discovered that at least one of those supplements I take for other things helps with cholesterol as well, so I’m at a double win. And of course I’m taking what the doctor prescribed.

Back to the TIA and why I’m thanking God for it. You see, I know me, and I am well aware that as I get farther down the road I tend to forget the importance of what I’m doing. I forget to buy a supplement and forget why I was taking it in the first place. I forget why I got off sodas and pick them back up again. (I’ve done that so many times!) I forget all too easily.

But this time I have a tool. Its name is TIA. I thank God often that it was only a TIA, that there is no permanent damage, and I thank Him that it now stands in front of me as a clear warning to stay the course. It could have been a full-blown stroke, but it wasn’t. It was a warning I won’t forget.

Was it a trial? Yes. Am I honestly thanking God for it? Yes. Has it helped me grow? Also yes. Thank God!

I hope you’re having a blessed Thanksgiving.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

I Need These Nights

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I just got home from our church’s monthly worship night. It’s one hour of nothing but worship-me and God. I need these nights. I need them for a variety of reasons.

One is that it’s a service for which I have no staff responsibilities. If you are on staff at your church, you know this is huge. For regular services, although I am definitely taking part, I am also sensitive to anything I might need to deal with as a staff member. In services, for instance, my phone is by me at all times in case another staff member texts with a question or needing help. At WILD Worship, we all put our phones away so they can’t distract us.

Two, I’m a worshipper. Yes, I worship in service. Yes, I worship at home. The atmosphere on these nights, though, is distinctly different. There is no substitute for groups of people coming together for the express purpose of worshipping God. This is true unity and it is a blessing.

Three, there are no distractions. It’s more than just putting away cell phones. It’s low lighting that helps minimize visual distractions. It’s going in knowing people are free to get up and move around, which means you don’t even think about them. You can more easily focus on God and God alone.

Four, and this is the point of the night: God. This hour is ALL about my personal relationship with God. It’s not just me singing awesome words to a song I know or being uncomfortable with a song I’ve never heard. I would get into these nights if the songs were sung in a language I don’t even understand.

Why? It’s WORSHIP. It’s getting face to face with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. Part of the time that means me singing the songs with an engaged heart. Part of the time it’s me singing or praying in tongues. Part of the time it’s just us, God and me, talking. A lot of the time it’s me listening while He talks.

And He does talk to me on these nights. While He has my undivided attention, He reveals things to me, gives me visions, explains things I’ve been wondering about, and more. I go into these nights knowing we will talk, expecting Him to be right there with me, and He has never failed to come.

Five, when He’s there with me, I have no choice but to self-check. I live an active God-focused life — praying, studying His Word, and in general spending time with Him every day, pretty much keeping up an ongoing conversation. Even so, knowing that I will sense Him there beside me during that hour, I start these evenings with my focus on me, checking my heart, seeing if I’ve let my attention shift in the past month, and repenting as needed. This is my monthly reality check, and I value it in part for that reason.

I value these nights. I treasure them. I need them. I dare say we all do.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Who’s in Your Corner?

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I was honored, today, by being asked to take on a new ministry responsibility. I accepted readily, because I believe in my boss’ ability to hear from God. That does not mean I was confident in my own ability to fulfill the role.

I immediately leapt into studying and preparation, but even after more encouragement from she who asked me, I had doubts about me. So after work I played it smart and texted my sister asking for prayer. She agreed to pray, but she also sent the following.

“I remember how scared you were before your first speaking engagement at a conference. And look how you came through that.

“I remember how scared you were before you got your job at Bath and Bodyworks and you rocked it.

“Need I go on?”

She didn’t need to. Those reminders of past victories were all it took. She Who Is Always In My Corner came through for me again.

We all need someone who’s in our corner, someone we can rely on for encouragement and pep talks. (Likewise, we need to be the same for others.)

Who’s in your corner?

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

On the Way to Worship

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Pages from The Inspire Bible, NLT, Tyndall House Publishers, Inc.

I’m reading through the Bible (using the method I share in my book, Experiencing the Bible), and a few days ago I came upon a section known as The Psalms of Ascent – Psalms 120-134. The Jews, of course, were required to go up to the Temple at least three time a year to worship, and these are the songs they sang as they walked up the mountain.

You can tell by looking at the picture that I found a lot to think about as I read, but one thing in particular stood out and I can’t let it go..

They were going to the house of the Lord to worship, and they were worshipping on the way!

This is so very different from what we do as modern Christians!

Think about it! We rush around on Sunday morning, scrambling for shoes and hair brushes, working hard to get everyone ready. Then we dash out to the car where there’s a good chance Dad is already waiting (hopefully) patiently. The drive to church is likely an experience in itself, perhaps even including an argument or battling with kids on the way. We may well arrive in the parking lot with only minutes to spare and appear in the sanctuary at the last possible moment, moving quickly to our pew.

This pre-service activity does everything but put us in an attitude of worship. It doesn’t prepare us to come before the King. We may sing, “I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart,” but did we really walk in the door with a heart filled with thanksgiving?

They did! These pilgrims had to walk for miles up hill every time they went to the Temple, and they got ready for those special feast days by worshipping God on the way! In Psalm 122:1, we see the declaration, “I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord.’”

Yes, they were going to celebrate the feasts in Jerusalem because God required it, but they were going with purpose, with gladness, and they were preparing their own hearts for worship at the Temple by worshipping on the way to the Temple.

How much do we miss out on by not doing the same? How very unprepared we modern Christians are when we enter God’s house!

This is why worship teams have such a hard job. (As a former choir member, I know!) They are supposed to be leading a prepared congregation further into God’s presence; instead they’re having to get an unprepared people just to walk through that first spiritual door.

We need to do better.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Forgiveness Isn’t an Option

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Yes, you can forgive, and you must!

You’ve heard it preached over and over. I’ll even list a couple of scriptures at the end of this post.

You’ve probably even seen articles online that show the benefits of forgiveness. I’ll include some of those at the bottom of this post as well.

But…

Are you one of those who sit there convinced that it’s not possible? Your situation is too hard. The wounds go too deep. The betrayal affected too many people. That person has never asked for forgiveness, so you feel no need to give it.

Still…not optional. Yes, I said it. Forgiveness is not an option. For the Christian, it is a command. For everyone, it is a physical and psychological necessity. If you read the Bible, you can’t avoid it.

Remember what Jesus said on the cross? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” There is a part of me that wants to correct Jesus. “Oh yes, they did! They knew exactly what they were doing!” Doesn’t matter. Even before His death, burial, and resurrection, He was asking forgiveness for the collective “us.” Jesus forgave. We received. (Well, I hope you’ve received!)

Consider the Apostle Paul when he was still Saul. He was hell-bent on destroying the new movement that became Christianity. Those followers of Christ, starting with Ananias, could have refused to forgive him after he met Jesus. If they had, if they had denied his right to minister on the Lord’s behalf, he may never have written what we know today as about 2/3 of the New Testament. But they did forgive, and he did write, and we received.

I could keep on with accounts from the Bible, but let’s bring it forward to today. Bear with me, if you will, as I share two examples from my own life.

I have a friend. I love her dearly, and I hurt for her often. She is a loving and generous person who used to serve God openly, freely, joyously, but something has changed her, caused her to withdraw in many ways.

There is one person, another Christian, against whom she holds implacable unforgiveness. Did the person genuinely do her wrong back in the day? Quite possibly; I don’t know their story. But that really doesn’t matter.

What matters is that the roots of unforgiveness and bitterness have grown so deep and strong that now pretty much every aspect of her life seems to have become choked by those weeds. Yes, she has a hard life, but so do a lot of others who haven’t chosen her path.

Others like me.

Let me pause here and say that I’m well aware I am far from perfect. I know this. What I am, however, is living proof that you can walk through hell and come out the other side victorious.

My story starts over forty years ago when I unknowingly married a narcissist. During those years, he abused me in pretty much every way but physically. I lived under his thumb without even realizing it for a very long time – without understanding that my life wasn’t normal. He had multiple affairs. He ignored everything that was important to me unless paying attention to it played into his plan and made him look good to others. He squandered his really good income so that I ended up having to earn money for the “unimportant” things like homeschool curriculum for the boys and clothes for myself.

Then, when it became hard for him to find a “position,” he stopped working; a regular job was beneath him. This left me doing all I could to pay the bills he easily ignored.

Eventually, we ended up living in a house that was literally falling down over our heads because he couldn’t be bothered to maintain much of anything, ever. Lest you think I exaggerate, first we lost gas because the line started leaking and he “couldn’t afford” to fix it. Then the water pipes started bursting and when his quick patches didn’t hold he gave up. We were left with only electricity for years, and I paid that bill. The walls had so many holes in them that I couldn’t stuff them all well enough to keep anything out. I once ended up in the ER with a bug in my ear as a result of that. And the roof? One room was off limits because half the roof was completely gone, and when it rained it rained inside our only bathroom. Years… Today, looking back, that blows my mind; I felt so trapped in that…place. (NOT just talking the house here.)

And then there were the women. The first affair I know about happened in the early 90s and either he thought I was a complete idiot or he was flaunting it in my face. (Him having the affair was my fault of course. He was an expert at gaslighting.) The last affair he tried to have was in 2014. Strange as it seems, it wasn’t until then that I actually stopped loving him. It was the point at which that tiny flame was at last doused completely.

My primary focus through most of the past forty years has been on staying right with God and growing closer to Him. As a result, I learned to forgive. See, if you’re actively watching your spiritual walk, when things stop feeling right, when you can tell that you’re “off,” you stop. You pause, take a good look at yourself, and ask God, “Where have I gone wrong?” In those early years, it was almost always unforgiveness towards Jack or someone else that nailed me. God had to school me over and over, but I eventually learned how to genuinely forgive and do it quickly. (Note to Self: As soon as you hit “publish” on this post the devil is going to see to it that you’re tested.)

So, my regular readers know that Jack passed away in October. I can honestly say that, regardless of all he had done, all he did until just a few weeks before his death, I forgave him. I chose not to walk in unforgiveness, but in forgiveness, which meant that when unforgiveness popped up I actively stomped it out.

I prayed for him often. I very much wanted to know he was right with God even if he were never right with me. He asked me to pray the sinners prayer with him days before he went into the hospital for the last time, and I rejoice that he did, that now, in Heaven, he is finally the man God always meant him to be.

Decades of abuse could have destroyed me. It did not. I did more than survive those years. In spite of dealing with anxiety and occasional bouts of depression, I thrived. I had to battle each and every day, but just as daily workouts strengthen muscles, those daily battles strengthened me. I came out stronger, and one of the reasons is my determination to deny the devil the option of using one of his greatest weapons – unforgiveness – to bring me down.

Forgiveness isn’t an option. It’s a necessity.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Forgiveness Verses (There are many more.)
Matthew 18:21
Mark 11:25
Luke 6:37
Ephesians 4:32

Benefits of Forgiveness (There are many more.)
Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness
The Many Benefits of Forgiveness
The Power of Forgiveness
The Physical Benefits of Forgiveness

Watch Your Mouth

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In James 3, God repeats the classic parental command and makes it very clear that He’s serious. Yes, He says here that no one can tame the tongue, but the context of the chapter makes it clear that He expects us to try.

Luke 6:45 tells us that what comes out of our mouths reveals what is really in our hearts. We can say it isn’t so, but where else would the words come from?

If I’m truly walking in the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love that God desires from me, if that’s what fills my heart, then the words that come out of my mouth will be words of love. I won’t be calling another driver an idiot (or worse). I won’t be bad mouthing the mother who isn’t controlling her screaming child.

I won’t be, as James puts it, cursing a person who was made in God’s very image. And, whether we want to admit it or not, EVERY man was made in God’s very image, even the one whose views don’t correspond with our own.

If I do catch my mouth saying things it shouldn’t (or my fingers typing things they ought not) it’s time for a heart check.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

The Power of a Seed

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A seed has an innate command to grow and, all things being equal, when it is planted it will obey that command. I’ve been thanking God for that fact this morning.

I’ve always thought I was raised serving God, but in reality I wasn’t, or not like one might think. When I was very young, we were in church, and seeds were planted. Then, for maybe a year or so while I was in junior high, we were in church again and more seeds were planted. And where regular church attendance is concerned that was it.

But seeds were still being planted. They may have been few, during conversations with my parents and grandparents, during that one week spent in Vacation Bible School, during Sunday morning Christian cartoons…. But they were being planted, and they grew, and they bore fruit, and I am where I am today.

So today I’ve been thanking God for each and every one of those seeds that were planted in my life. I’ve also been thanking Him for those seeds I’ve had the honor of planting in others’ lives.

Maybe I only managed to get one seed in the ground, one word about the love of God settled into someone’s heart during a brief conversation. I’ve been reminded today that even that one word can be enough.

Never discount the power of the words you get to plant as you speak into others’ lives, the power of your actions as you show God’s love. Even one seed can produce much fruit.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Be Careful What You Pray For

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I read a book in December, a seemingly simple Christmas novel, that convicted me as much as anything ever has outside the Bible. In it, a woman experiences being ignored in her public agony, and it changes her forever.

Without going into the book’s details, let me just say that everything centers around a few words she writes, a prayer. I have it on my wall, and I’ve prayed it many times since finishing the book.

Give me eyes to see what isn’t shown,

Ears to hear what isn’t said,

Hands to do what You want,

And the courage to not walk away.

This prayer has helped me as I’ve tried to be more sensitive to those around me in the past few weeks. I’ve never been the most observant person, taking the pictures people present at face value most of the time, but I’m trying to really watch and listen, especially for that still, small voice.

And then, today, I was tested. I was in the fast food drive through and saw a man who had fallen and was trying to get up. I didn’t want to get out of line and go help him, hoped the line would hurry and I could just swing back by after getting my food to make sure he’d managed it. After all, I was a woman, and alone, and…

Hey, I’m just being transparent here. The first time I heard God whisper, “and the courage to not walk away,” I ignored Him. (Yes! I know!) I kept my eyes on the man through hearing those words yet again – as the line didn’t move an inch. And then, after watching him almost get up only to fall back down, I got out of line.

I knew going in that he was most likely drunk. I knew when he spoke that he surely was. Still, I kept hearing “and the courage to not walk away.” I called another man over and together we helped him stand. I picked up his dropped bag to hand it over and knew exactly what I was smelling on his breath.

We got him up and helped him brace himself. The other man left after getting assurances that he didn’t want us to call 911. I stayed, because I knew it wasn’t over.

I didn’t do any great thing. I let him talk. I listened. I prayed for him. I didn’t offer to buy him a meal or take him anywhere. I just… I just acknowledged his humanity and the fact that even if you’re homeless you are worthy of being treated as a human being.

I got back in my car, went to order (no line-imagine that) and headed home nearly in tears, shame-filled tears. Only weeks ago, I’d have just prayed a quick, “Send him help” prayer and then shut my ears in case I was the help God wanted to send. Even today, I almost didn’t have the courage to not walk away.

And that knowledge hurts.

I’m going to keep praying that prayer, asking God to help me become more like Him. I hope that if I pass by you and you are hurting I have the courage to stop and at least listen. If I fail, please forgive me, and pray with me that I do have the courage next time.

I am being careful what I pray for, because it’s what I want.

The novel is A Cinderella Christmas, by Amanda Tru

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C