Behind the Scenes @ TammyCardwell.com

Terry Cardwell, PixelDrip

I’ve mentioned before that my web designer (Actually, all things internet) son and I are working on my new website. We’ve both been crazy busy, and he’s had to wait on me quite a bit, so we’re behind. But I took a few days off to spend with my granddaughter and her parents (Grandparent priorities, right?), promising myself I would also get caught up on my end of things, or at least significantly further along in the process, before I left to head home.

So here we are in his office. He’s working on parts of my site and soon-to-be newsletter while I work on others. There is so much to do that, honestly…

One of the reasons I’ve been so behind has less to do with being crazy busy and more to do with intimidation. I’ve been learning new skills in new apps and, to be honest, I let one facet of the project overwhelm me to the point where it locked me down. When I say that, I really do mean I shut down. I stopped working on that part of the project, other parts of the project, and even this blog. I felt like I had no right to write anything if I weren’t going to get these other foundational details taken care of first. Irrational? Absostinkinglutely!

His reaction when I told him what I’d done? “Mom! All you had to do was let me know. I could do that for you.”

If you recall my August 10th post, God Has a Reason, you may remember lesson #2. 

When you know you need help, ask Him.

I didn’t ask. If I had, He probably would have told me to get on the phone. Terry’s the owner of Pixel Drip so yes, he totally could have taken over that part of the project and done it in minutes where it took me hours and multiple video tutorials to even feel like I was speaking the right language. I still haven’t actually “done” that part, but I’m back to writing and getting closer to taking those final steps.

Last night, after my angel granddaughter’s bedtime, we went over the basics of the website design and how it will flow. He wanted my input, but I had nothing beyond a few questions. While what you see right now is pretty much exactly what the simple WordPress blog has looked like for years, once we complete the site redesign it will be very different and more completely reflect who I am and what I’m trying to accomplish. For instance, want a peek at my primary logo?

I really like everything Terry’s done so far and I’m enjoying catching glimpses of what he’s working on right now. I hope to launch the newsletter (Which will be entitled Eternally Planted) very soon, and while I’m typing this post I’m also glancing up to see him playing with possibilities for that logo.

I’m loving what’s coming and am getting excited all over again. Taking this time away and getting with him face-to-face instead of relying on text messages has made all the difference. Truly, I feel like I’ve taken a breath of fresh air and am ready to put my head down and get back to work.

And that feels really good.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

May I Please Get Back to “Normal”?

Actually, if I can just get back to what passes for normal… Yes, that sounds good!

Seriously, it was one month ago today that I posted Why Has Tammy Been Quiet?
It was eleven days ago that I posted, Sometimes You Just Keep Fighting.

It was THIS WEEK that I finally felt RIGHT again. I really was recovering when I made that post on May 6th, but one thing this whole event has taught me is that you don’t recover as quickly at 62 as you do at, say, 42.

I fought and made it through the work weeks, though exhaustion followed me home. Weekend before last my body shut down on me, demanding true recovery time. Last weekend was some better, though I felt like my brain was mush and still didn’t have it in me to think seriously about anything beyond the most basic household chores.

This Monday, while at work, I abruptly realized I was back to thinking totally clearly. I’ve still not been sleeping right, or not consistently, so I was ready to go to bed long before bedtime on Monday, but I was only sleepy rather than exhausted as I had been after work every week for weeks. Also, my brain proved itself to be back in order over the past two days when it let me take some very important training and pass the final exam. YAY!

In “Sometimes You Just Keep Fighting,” I said, “When God gives you an assignment, the devil is going to try to distract you, derail you, stop you.” At that point, I was talking about my calling in the church and the importance of the fundraiser I was working on. Today, however, I realized just how completely the devil managed to derail me where this blog is concerned. This, too, is my calling. I’m here for a reason, to serve a purpose, and for the past month the only word you’ve had from me came in the form of posts I scheduled weeks and, in some cases, months ago.

I’m so sorry.

Yesterday, as I left the office, I actually had a list of “catch up” errands I really need to take care of this weekend, but the Houston area was the recipient of some insane weather yesterday evening that left much of our area without power thanks to straight line winds that left a wide path of destruction. (Thank God our town, to my knowledge, didn’t see the threatened tornadoes!) Yes, we were part of the power outage and downed trees; the power came on at about 6:30 this morning. Praise God, the outside temp had dropped so dramatically that I actually slept ok. Well, as ok as I have been. After all those weeks of interrupted sleep, my body seriously needs to reset.

Anyway, I decided this morning that it doesn’t make sense to run any errands in this tree-and-trash ridden, many-areas-without-power town, so I’ve come to do some important catching up here instead.

I’ve already answered several more questions for my web developer today, so we’re making some progress there. This is your official, rambling update, so yay me…sort of. LOL! Now I have to decide what to do next, and I’m so far behind in all areas that I’m a bit overwhelmed by the number of options, but I’ll get it figured out. More to the point, I’ll look to God and ask for the next step.

THAT is one of the biggest bits of advice I can give you today. When you’re overwhelmed to the point of not even being able to face your To Do list, just ask God, “Sir? What do I do next?” If you let Him, The Holy Spirit will step in and lead you by the hand. If I didn’t already know this truth, I would after the last six weeks or so: As bad as I got mentally, God’s step-by-step leading was what got me through many of my days.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Why Has Tammy Been Quiet?

Ok, so I’ve not been too obviously quiet, since I had several blog posts scheduled weeks out, but there are reasons you’ve only seen a few posts from me in the past month. One reason is that gnats invaded my apartment and this gal is allergic to gnat bites. The results had me down hard for about two weeks, but I’m coming out of it now praise God. But that’s really secondary to my big news.

We’re working on my new website!

I know things look the same here, and they will for…I’m not sure how long. One of the biggest hurdles has been successfully run, however, and my developer has completed the process of moving my blog to their server where it will become part of a new website in which I’ll be able to go more in depth in several areas.

This has been an educational trip, I tell ya!

We’re working on multiple things at once, and one of the most exciting for me is branding: color choice, style, etc. It’s kind of fun, and really interesting. It’s also making me think outside of my usual box. On the branding questionnaire, for instance, I encountered some surprises. One that caught me off guard was something along the lines of “If your brand were an animal what animal would it be?”

My answer? A peacock!
If you know me, you know I love peacocks,
but my response goes beyond simple animal preference.

Have you ever heard a peacock? If so, you would probably agree they can be pretty annoying. Frankly, the same could be said about me – has been. Honestly, there will be times you probably don’t want to hear what I have to say. In the past, I’ve been pretty conservative, staying in the middle of the road, trying not to offend anyone, but there’s no time for that anymore.

I have a revelation of Eternity that demands I do all I can to help others not only live well in this life, but also prepare for the next. There’s not a person on Earth who is guaranteed tomorrow. We may want to ignore that fact, but we can’t change it. Hebrews 9:27 (NET) speaks truth loudly when it says, “And just as people are appointed to die once, and then to face judgement…”

Yep, I’m not the only one who can say things that people don’t want to hear. The Word of God can be just as annoying as that peacock’s voice when you don’t want to listen to what God has to say. Even so, our preferences do not change the truth God speaks.

And then there’s the undeniable beauty! Even if you’re not a peacock lover, you have to admit that, when he fans his tail, the peacock demands attention. He’s lovely. He’s majestic. Each feather is simply amazing, so much so that they’re reproduced in myriad artistic ways! Have you ever studied one, literally handled it with intent? They’re awesome!

God’s Word is like that too! It’s beautiful! You can look at it in intricate detail and be absolutely amazed. You can come to the same passage you’ve read before and see something entirely new that you missed the first time. Like that extraordinary peacock, the Bible demands attention, drawing you in and leaving you in awe. Of course, the peacock is only a bird; it can’t even begin to the compare with the Word, but you get what I mean. I hope?

And that is why I chose this animal as the answer to that question.

I am super excited about this move and all it will help me do! The website will serve as a home to Experiencing the Bible and a devotional I’ve begun writing, as well as anything else God has me do. I’m also making plans for a newsletter that will allow me to communicate more personally and share snippets from the upcoming book. But there’s more! At my developer’s request, I’ve been making a wishlist.

One of the things I’m particularly excited about having is a dedicated reviews page where I can share my thoughts on, and experiences with, various resources. My primary focus being on helping Christians grow in the Lord, you can expect to see reviews of Bibles and other such things for sure. At this point, I don’t know if I’ll include other types of reviews on a permanent page or simply keep sharing them here as blog posts. Feel free to offer up an opinion on that.

Don’t worry, my blog will continue to be just as eclectic as it has been.
My brain demands it!

So yes, I’ve been quiet lately. In large part, it’s because I couldn’t post anything that wasn’t prescheduled during the transition, at least I don’t think I could have? It’s also because I’ve been busy, not just with this move to a full-blown home on the web, but also with my full-time job; I kept working during the gnat debacle (and came home each night and cratered) because there’s so very much to do. 

You may remember that I work for a church, Hillside Church in Mont Belvieu, Texas, to be exact. We’re deep into one of our two busiest times of the year right now as we prepare for the auction that provides the bulk of the funds for Operation BAM, a vitally important ministry that helps untold numbers of people, all around the world, every year. You read a little about it in my post “Relief to the Texas Panhandle.”

This ministry is one of my absolute favorites. Yes, we have the disaster response truck. We also provide car seats to a local hospital so that mamas who can’t afford one are taken care of. We support missionaries and organizations around the world. We provide protein for shelters and other organizations that usually only receive donations of non-perishables. We make Christmas dreams come true for multiple families every year, and also celebrate Christmas by taking trailers loaded with bicycles into neighborhoods and passing those bicycles (and trikes, and this past year scooters) out to resident children and any others who show up. We have a team of quilters who make special blankets for those who are going through cancer treatments, we support a men’s rehabilitation facility, and we help out a local pregnancy resource center.

And more!
It seems every time I turn around
Operation BAM is doing more, and I love it!

So right now I’m neck deep in auction items and preparations for our upcoming Crawfish Boil & Auction. Yes, this means I’ll still probably be a little quiet, if not as much as I have been, but only for a couple more weeks…maybe three.

Hopefully, I’ll soon be fully back and you’ll be seeing at least three posts a week from here on out. In the meantime, thank you for being part of my community. I love having you here!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Photoshoot Results

Photo Credit: Angela Hernandez of Creative Heart Photography

Aphantasia Network publishing my latest aphantasia post as an article triggered the need for an updated set of portraits. Or, more accurately, it shoved me forward into doing what I know is a professional necessity for my upcoming new website and my social media accounts.

But, you see, photoshoots are one thing I have always dreaded, because I almost never like photos of myself. This is literally the first time I’ve gone into a shoot unfazed. I’d decided to leave the whole thing in the hands of God and the photographer (and told God about this decision, of course). The result was a Tammy who wasn’t worried about “producing” and could simply relax into obeying the photographer’s instructions.

It was a great experience over all, even though our outdoor shoot in Baytown’s historic district meant very cold wind. I told my photographer that I had a whole new respect for models who do bikini shoots in the middle of winter! We did get some good pictures, though, including the one above. My favorite is this one of me against a plain brick wall. It was one of the few times that the wind worked in our favor. Or, as she put it while shooting, we got a diva wind.

You see those crossed arms? Yep, not only for looks.
It was fuhreeeezing! But fun!

It got even more fun when we moved to the studio. Not being at the mercy of the elements meant we could take our time and get more creative while having laughs and picking on each other. I really like a lot of what we accomplished there!

I genuinely appreciate the results of this shoot, both because I had an experience I not only totally enjoyed and that we ended up with such completely satisfying results.

And I leave you with the last photo we took. Well, one of the last. I’d already kicked off my shoes and moved to the floor for other poses when she asked me to “sit criss cross.” My book, Experiencing the Bible, was sitting right there so I snatched it up as if I were reading it and she started shooting.

When she was finished, I read aloud the verse I’d randomly turned to. It was Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” That “happens” to be my life verse, has been for years, and I don’t believe there was anything random about it being the one I was looking at in those last shots. God is so cool!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

PS: The links to Experiencing the Bible are associate links. If you buy a copy using this link I’ll not only earn my usual royalties, but will also get just a little bit extra as an Amazon associate. Thanks!

What Do You Have in the House?

In II Kings 4, a widow approached Elisha for help and he asked her an odd question, “Tell me, what do you have in the house?” All she had was a jar of oil, but God used that jar of oil to work a mighty miracle. We humans tend to overlook what God has already given us, considering it to be “not enough.” Her oil was definitely not enough – until God touched it.

If you read yesterday’s review of Priscilla Shirer’s devotional, Awaken, it shouldn’t surprise you that the following thoughts were triggered by Day 2. And of course I had to apply them to me.

Experiencing the Bible is my jar. The oil is the gift of words and my joy in them (especially my joy in THE Word).

I’d begun a much simpler version of the book years ago. I kept putting it down, and God kept bringing me back to it. This year, I finally finished and published it. I asked God about marketing, but He told me not to worry about it. The point, at that time, truly was obedience.

Then, on October 1st, my husband passed away, taking his income with him, and suddenly I was the widow going to God saying, “I can’t do this on my own. I have to have Your help!” He pointed to the “jar on the shelf” and told me to get started. He has truly been my ever-present help in recent months, supplying my needs in consistently miraculous ways, but He’s also kept me moving forward with a vision that has grown far beyond anything I’d imagined.

In the midst of this my son, who owns Pixel Drip Studio, offered to create a full website to replace this simple blog. That started a conversation, and plans, and ideas that triggered a lot of action. So here I am, pouring out the oil. To the print book, I added first an ebook and then a journal. I’m already looking to the next book…actually, the next two. I’m also studying marketing, newsletters, social media and more.

God gives us all gifts, talents, and abilities, providing us with “jars of oil.” Then it’s up to us to pour out the oil and sell it for a profit. It took the widow time, effort, and humility to go borrow all those vessels from her neighbors and then fill them. Too, it generally requires the help of others, both her neighbors and her son in her case, and my son…both of them actually…in mine.

It can also take walking in obedience in advance. Had I not finished Experiencing the Bible when God told me to, it wouldn’t have been sitting on the shelf when I needed it.

So I’ll repeat Priscilla’s question from Day 2. What are some of the “jars of oil” you might be overlooking right now that He’s already provided?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

In the Between Time

I was asked, recently, what I do during the week between Christmas and New Years. My answer? I clean house.

I do mean this partially in the literal sense. The tree comes down, boxes get recycled, etc., but that’s just the beginning. For me, this is a time of transition. I don’t want to wait for January 1 to start making changes; I plan for those changes now.

Spiritually, it means spending a lot more time talking to God about how things have gone this year and how He wants me to change things for next year. It means assessing my habits, heart, and hindrances to my walk as well as my successes and all of the progress I’ve made. And it means thanking Him a LOT for all He’s brought me through and the promising vistas I see ahead of me. It means setting my spiritual goals and making plans for how I can accomplish them.

In the physical, it means getting my office in order so I’m better prepared to grow increasingly serious about my writing and the business of Tammy Cardwell Publishing. I’ve been organizing and spray painting (The easiest solution when expensive solutions aren’t an option.) and organizing some more. I’m also studying. Merciful heavens, but there is a LOT to learn right now!

And, with the help of my ever-creative, genius son (Pixel Drip Studio), I’m working on a whole new website that will include this blog and a lot more. He’s pushing me, and I love it. This morning he was tossing out words like “timeline” and “milestones.” I’m 60 years old now and #owning60. I’m proof that you’re never too old to launch into something new.

So… What does your between time look like?

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Back in the Saddle?

I wish I didn’t have to put a question mark on this title, but life is an odd thing. It can throw you.

In many ways, things have been intense since Jack passed away and I entered widowhood. I spent weeks working on the apartment, adapting it to me-only living, and then I spent weeks going through decades worth of records and papers and…stuff. Losing my husband made me acutely aware of what my kids would be dealing with if something were to happen to me, so I set about ensuring that transition would be as easy as possible. Just today I put the finish to the last piece of the puzzle: The Book. It contains pretty much every legal and informational paper they might need at my passing. Except all my passwords. I do need to work on that.

All that to say this. As of now, with that last task complete, I feel like my brain is my own again. (Happy Birthday to me!) Starting today, Son #2 (Owner of pixeldripstudio.com) has begun planning a new website for me, one that will help me do so much more than simply blog, and it’s got me excited and fired up all over again. We’ve been talking style and options and possibilities, and I’m thinking in terms of articles and blog posts and freebies…

I’m also working on converting Experiencing the Bible to ebook format. It’s a challenge for two reasons.
1. While I read ebooks all the time I’ve never learned about their formatting. (I am now!)
2. Part of the print book’s power is the built-in journal. I have to do a bit of rewriting and adjusting to compensate. It won’t be a huge deal for the reader; they’ll just want to invest in a journal to write in. Maybe I’ll even create a matching one myself? Maybe.

So, barring any unforeseen circumstances, I’m back in the saddle and back at work. And it feels GOOD.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

That Door is Closed

It’s strange, the things that can kick you in the gut.

In my homeschooling years, and beyond, I was very active in the homeschool community. I wrote articles. I spoke at conferences. I sold my books and my publisher’s books at conferences. I was one of the editors of a small, printed, homeschool magazine that eventually became a very large, internet magazine.

Yeah, that last is where the kick comes from. EHO, The Eclectic Homeschool Online, was a massive internet magazine. It was massive in both content and readership. Everything we ever published stayed published, and I know I remember us having 40,000 readers a month at one point – most print magazines didn’t have readerships that large. I loved EHO, loved the ministry, loved my writers, loved our readers… Leaving was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

So today I was thinking about it and went to check it out. It’s been a static site for a while, but still… And it wasn’t there. I got the “Safari Can’t Find Server” screen. That black screen is a reminder that, as much as you appreciate your past, you really can’t return to it. And you know what? It hurts…

Oh, I’ll get over it. It’s just that there was something reassuring, on those days when I felt “less than,” about being able to go back and look at what I’d helped accomplish and think about all the homeschoolers whose hands we’d held along the way. I think about them now and hope that many of their kids are homeschooling today. Yes, it’s been that long.

That door is closed. It has been, really; Safari is just reminding me that looking back only serves so many purposes. The point is to walk through the next open door.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C