Signs of Where We are in Time

From Real Life with Jack Hibbs

I don’t remember ever sharing a video on this blog before, but this one is important. It’s important for everyone in my opinion, but it’s especially important for Christians because it gives a very clear indication of where we are in End Times prophecy.

Don’t want to think about the End Times? I get it, but the fact is that if you are watching what’s going on at all you can see the signs of a world that is rapidly setting itself up to be the earth of the book of Revelation. Just the things I’ve read in the past few days, warnings given by top AI developers, is nothing short of disturbing. Jack Hibbs, in this video, shares even more than I’ve heard – and that’s only part of what he’s talking about.

Stop reading this. Start watching the video.

Celebrating Jesus and His Soon Return!
Tammy C

Serve

Photo excerpt from Inspire Bible, NLT, Tyndall House Publishers, Inc.

In John 13:3-7, we learn something vitally important. Verses 3 through 5 tell us, “Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.”

I think about this scene and wonder what went through the disciples’ minds as Jesus rose from the table.

“What is He doing? Is He going somewhere?”

Then He took off His robe, which had to really make them wonder. And when He poured water into the basin? Had they figured it out at that point? Maybe?

If so, I’ll bet they were shooting truly startled glances at each other, trying to decide who would speak first. Their Rabbi, this man they had followed, who had led them and taught them, loved them and corrected them, was behaving like a common household servant.

By this time, they surely knew He did nothing without purpose. But what was His purpose? They had to wonder.

“You don’t understand now what I am doing,” Jesus told Peter, “but someday you will.”

The reason for what Jesus was doing – serving – is rooted in verse 3: “Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God.” Jesus knew exactly who and what He was. He had absolutely nothing to prove to anyone, no doubts about Himself.

This passage has been used often to remind us that as Christians we are here to serve, and that is the clear message here (v. 12-17). But there is, perhaps, a less clear message waiting for us as well. It is the man who does have something to prove that refuses to serve, but demands service. It is the unsure man who requires that a pedestal be planted firmly under his feet.

Jesus could serve readily as He did because He was confident in Who He was. This is key. As Christians, we need to pursue a genuine understanding of who we are in Christ Jesus. Once we grasp the fullness of this revelation, it will be nothing for us to kneel and wash another’s feet. Service will have become part of who we are.

I have seen this over and over in those with whom I serve. My pastor, who is also my boss and a tremendous man of God, reminds the staff often that to follow Christ is to serve, and we should check our hearts if we ever forget this fact.

But what about those that some would call Christian celebrities? Yes, if they truly follow Jesus, they serve. You may not see or recognize their service for what it is, but I assure you it’s true; if they wholeheartedly follow Jesus, they serve.

John Ramirez is one excellent example of this. He comes to our church every year, and draws large crowds when he does. The last time he came, he showed up at the church early on Sunday morning – just walked in the front door like anyone else. Some of us were setting things up for service and he joined right in, picking up the end of a table to move it into place. When urged to stand aside and let others handle it, he reminded us that we’re all servants, him included, and assured us that he wanted to serve.

That’s what I’m talking about. He knows who he is in Christ Jesus! Yes, he is John Ramirez, someone we look forward to being with every year, but first and foremost he is a follower of his Lord, Jesus Christ, and that is what really matters.

Child of God, remember who you are, whose you are. Yes, as a son or daughter of the Most High, you are indeed a very important person. You have absolutely nothing to prove to man, because you have already been approved by the One who really matters. So set aside all pride and need for validation. Be confident in who you are and follow the example Jesus set for us: Serve.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Why the Word – Psalm 119 Part 2

If you’ve not read Why the Word – Psalm 119 Part 1, you may want to start there and then come back here when you finish. In that post, I cover what Psalm 119 has to say about the many benefits of having the Word of God (the Bible) be a large part of your life. In Part 2, we’ll look at all the things the psalmist did that caused him to reap those rewards.

Right, the benefits don’t just appear out of the blue. As is true with all of God’s promises, we do our part and God responds. First things first: It becomes quickly apparent, when reading Psalm 119, that condition of the psalmist’s heart had everything to do with His relationship with God and His Word (AKA “the teachings,” “the precepts,” etc.). That’s where we need to start as well.

In other words, why are you getting into the Bible? Is it because you think it’s a requirement for Christians? Would you feel guilty if you didn’t? Or are you digging in because you’re hungry, because you want more of God and understand that getting close to God requires getting close to His Word? Think about your motivation, because motivation matters.

Having covered that, there is a lot to Psalm 119. It was a challenge, deciding how to handle the massive amount of information it contains. I’ve opted to follow the same course here as I did with Part 1, sticking primarily to bullets supplemented with verse references and a few, select quotes. The verses quoted are in the New Living Translation.

So what did the psalmist DO?

  • Ask God’s Help – He asked God to teach him, to open his eyes, to help his understanding, to make him eager and hungry, to teach him good judgement and give him knowledge, to give him discernment and the ability to follow… and more. (Verses: 12, 18, 26, 27, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 64, 66, 68, 73, 108, 125, 144, 169, 173)
  • Be Anchored in the Word – Verse 61: “Evil people try to drag me into sin, but I am firmly anchored to your instructions.”
  • Be Faithful to the Word – Verse 30: “I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by your regulations.”
  • Believe the Word – Verse 66: “I believe in your commands…”
  • Delight in the Word – (Verses: 16, 70, 77, 111, 174)
  • Desire the Word – Verse 20: “I am always overwhelmed with a desire for your regulations.” Verse 131: “I pant with expectation, longing for your commands.”
  • Do What’s Right – Verse 121: “Don’t leave me to the mercy of my enemies, for I have done what is just and right.”
  • Don’t Fellowship with Evil-minded people – (Verse 115)
  • Don’t Reject the Word – (Verses: 53, 102, 110)
  • Don’t Wander Away from the Word – (Verses: 21, 51)
  • Follow the Word – Verse 1: “Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the LORD.” (Also verse 173)
  • Hope in the Word – Verse 147: “I rise early, before the sun is up; I cry out for help and put my hope in your words.” (Also verses: 43, 74, 81)
  • Keep the Word – (Verses 4, 31, 33, 87, 100)
  • Know the Word is Eternal – Verse 152: “I have known from my earliest days that your laws will last forever.”
  • Learn the Word – Verse 7: “As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should!”
  • Let the Word Guide You – Verse 105: “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”
  • Let the Word Help You – (Verse: 175)
  • Live by the Word – (Verses 30, 34, 98, 112, 157)
  • Love the Word – (Verses 97, 113, 140, 159, 163, 165, 167)
  • Meditate on the Word – (Verses 15, 23, 27, 52, 55, 78, 95, 97, 99, 117, 148)
  • Obey the Word – Verse 94: “…I have worked hard at obeying your commandments.” (Also, verses 2, 9, 22, 34, 40, 44, 55, 56, 57, 60, 67, 69, 83, 88, 101, 106, 109, 115, 119, 129, 134, 145, 146, 166, 167, 168)
  • Praise Him for the Word – (Verses 164, 171)
  • Read the Word with Expectancy – Verse 131: “I pant with expectation, longing for your commands.”
  • Rejoice in the Word – (Verses 14, 143)
  • Remember the Word – (Verses 11, 16, 93, 141, 153, 176)
  • Revere the Word – (Verses 120, 161)
  • Search for Him Wholeheartedly – Verse 2: “Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts.”
  • Seek Unity – (Verses 63, 79)
  • Self-assess – Verse 59: “I pondered the direction of my life, and I turned to follow your laws.”
  • Sing the Word- (Verses 54, 172)
  • Speak the Word – (Verse 13)
  • Strive for the Word – (Verses 10, 32, 45)
  • Study the Word – Verse 15: “I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways.”
  • Talk About the Word – (Verse 46)
  • Thank Him for the Word – Verse 62: “I rise at midnight to thank you for your just regulations.”
  • Treasure the Word – Verse 162: “I rejoice in your word like one who discovers a great treasure.” (Also verses 72, 111, 127)
  • Trust the Word – Verse 42: “Then I can answer those who taunt me, for I trust in your word.”

Near the top of the list is “Know the Word is Eternal.” It was this very revelation that woke me up to the necessity of getting into the Bible. We will literally live by the Word of God for eternity, and I want to enter into eternity prepared for that life! With this understanding, I dove into the Word of God and have never looked back. Nothing compares to reading God’s Word with an open heart and having Him speak truths to your spirit.

“In the beginning the Word already existed.
The Word was with God,
and the Word was God.”

This is John 1:1, and if you continue reading you learn that The Word is Jesus. Do you really want to know Jesus? Get to know the Word!

If you want some help getting started, or just want to experience how I dig into the Bible, check out my book, Experiencing the Bible, on Amazon. It’s currently available in paperback and ebook, and an audiobook is in the works.

If you’ve never truly experienced the Word, you have no idea what you’re missing!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Why the Word – Psalm 119 Part 1

I’m working on my next book and coincidentally (Nope, don’t believe in coincidence) reached Psalm 119 in my studies this past week. My purpose in writing the book is to make clear the importance of having the Word of God, the Bible, as a vital part of our lives. As I studied this psalm, I realized just how thoroughly it covers this very topic.

Psalm 119 is not only the longest psalm but is also the longest chapter in the Bible. It is considered by many to be “the bible on the Bible” because The Bible (the Word, the Commandments, the Precepts, the Teachings…) is its topic, and it handles said topic in depth. Since my book won’t be ready for quite some time, I decided to share some of what I’ve learned here.

This post is Part 1, and in it I will cover some of what the Bible is and can do if we will pursue it like God commands us to. There’s a lot, so being the organizer I am I put it all in a spreadsheet and sorted it by rough topics. I’m sticking to bullet points and will provide verse references as well as including a few verses. The verses I quote are in the New Living Translation.

Ready? Let’s go!
The Word…

  • Battles Misery – “If your instructions hadn’t sustained me with joy, I would have died in my misery.” (v.92)
  • Blesses/Makes joyful – The KJV says “blessed are…” In the NLT, “Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts.” (v. 1, 2) You can see the conditions here, of course. We must be people of integrity, follow His instructions, and search for Him with all our hearts for these verses to apply to us. That’s our part, and I’ll deal with our responsibilities in Part 2.
  • Comforts us – (v. 52)
  • Delights us/Pleases us – (v. 24, 77, 111)
  • Keeps us from judgment – “You rebuke the arrogant. Those who wander from your commands are cursed.” (v. 21) Clearly, the reverse is true too!
  • Eternal – (v. 89, 152, 160) We will live by His Word forever. That includes today.
  • Fair – (v. 137)
  • Makes us free – “I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments.” (v. 45)
  • Guides us – (v. 98, 105, 133) Verse 105 is the familiar, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”
  • Leads us to happiness – “Make me walk along the path of your commands for that is where my happiness is found.” (v. 35)
  • Helps us – (v. 130, 175)
  • Gives hope – (v. 43, 114)
  • Gives insight – (v. 99)
  • Brings joy – (v. 74, 92, 143) Verse 143 teaches us an important lesson: “As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands.” Let stress drive you to God and His Word!
  • Is just – (v. 164)
  • Keeps us close to rescue – (v. 155)
  • Keeps us from self-deception – (v. 29, 118)
  • Keeps us from wandering – (v. 67)
  • Gives us knowledge – (v. 66)
  • Gives life – (v. 37, 93) Verse 93: “I will never forget your commandments, for by them you give me life.”
  • Gives light – (v. 130)
  • Helps us live as we should – (v. 7, 19)
  • Helps us not compromise with evil – (v. 3)
  • Saves us from shame – (v. 5, 6, 31, 39, 80)
  • Helps us not sin – (v. 11, 61) Verse 11: “I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”
  • Helps us not be dull or stupid – (v. 70)
  • Gives peace – “Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble.” (v. 165)
  • Is perfect – (v. 138)
  • Prevents stumbling – (v. 165)
  • Revives us – (v. 25, 149, 156)
  • Is right – (v. 128, 144, 172)
  • Helps us share freely with others – (v. 46)
  • Stands firm in Heaven – (v. 89)
  • Helps us stay pure – ” How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.” (v. 9)
  • Strengthens & encourages – (v. 28)
  • Is sweeter than honey – (v. 103)
  • Has been thoroughly tested – (v. 140)
  • Is a treasure – (v. 111)
  • Is true – (v. 91, 142, 151, 160)
  • Is trustworthy – (v. 86, 138)
  • Gives understanding – (v. 32, 104) In verse 32 the psalmist says, “I will pursue your commands, for you expand my understanding.” God’s Word is worth pursuing!
  • Brings unity – (v. 79)
  • Is unlimited – (v. 96)
  • Helps us walk in His ways – “Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths.” (v. 2, 3)
  • Makes us wise – (v. 98, 100)
  • Gives wise advice – (v. 24)
  • Is wonderful – (v. 129)

Part 2 coming up! In it, we’ll cover the psalmist’s heart and actions, which also reflect our responsibility towards the Word of God.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Rest on Us

Every time we sing “Rest on Us” in church, one line gives me chills.

As the Spirit was moving over the waters
Spirit, come move over us

Why the chills?

Expectancy!

The Bible begins with, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Every time I start another readthrough of the Bible those words excite me. I know, in reading them, that great things are about to happen! And then…

The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.

Genesis 1:2

I’ve wondered, many times, what God was thinking as He hovered, or moved, over those waters. Was He simply delighting in all that was brand new, in the very beginning of Creation? Was He enjoying the moment? Was He planning out in minute detail everything that would transpire over the next few days?

Whatever He was thinking, He was moving with intent, with purpose, with a plan. And oh, what a plan! As He moved over those waters, miracles started to happen!

And that’s why I get chills every time we sing that song. We’re not singing simple lyrics! We’re asking God, “Please, move over us with the same intent and purpose you did on day one of Creation! Create in us what You want to see! Draw from us what You want to produce! Make us fruitful! Move on us so that, when You are done, you can lean back and say, “It is very good.”

We don’t want to be formless, empty, and dark. We want to be filled with the light, basking in His glory as early Creation did. We want to walk beside Him as Adam did. Yes Lord, Move over us! Come rest on us!

And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, you can check out this recording featuring Brandon Lake & Eniola Abioye by Maverick City Music and UPPERROOM.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

At Last It All Makes Sense

What follows is adapted from my journal, specifically from my journal on January 14th, 2023.

I’ve never doubted that God had me marry Jack. The night I said, “Yes” to Jack’s proposal, God and I had a conversation as I was walking back into my house; it is still clear in my mind. But I did ask Him, just now, “Why did you have me marry him? Was it so You could get Thomas and Terry?” I thought about it a microsecond and went on, “Because if so, it’s a price well paid.” Before I could think another thought, He said, “And so I could get you.”

I literally jumped. I’m not sure I would have been more startled if I’d heard God’s audible voice. I knew instantly what He meant. He meant that I am who I am today because of all that Jack put me through. God knew going in what would happen, what fruit would be produced in me – and He wanted that person.

I had to put the pen down for a few minutes. The revelation was truly overwhelming, tear inducing. God wants the me of today AND has specifically been working to get me here all along.

Everything I went through, every decision I made – even the decisions not to leave when offered escape, and to let him force himself back into my life after I had left the one time – have all worked together to make me who I am today.

From 2010 to last October, living with and serving a man who was growing increasingly ill and would have died without me served to further mold me into the person I am right now.

Who is she? (Here God started talking, fast, and I began taking dictation.)

  • Someone who has learned compassion
  • Someone who has learned forgiveness
  • Someone who has learned faithfulness
  • Someone who has learned faith
  • Someone who has learned how to stand under attack
  • Someone who has learned who the real enemy is and that men are only the enemy’s tools
  • Someone who has learned how to fight
  • Someone who has learned how to love
  • Someone who has learned how to bear with the weak
  • Someone who has learned patience
  • Someone who has learned generosity
  • Someone who has learned to live with nothing
  • Someone who has learned to be content no matter her state
  • Someone who has learned that stuff is only stuff
  • Someone who has learned how not to be afraid
  • Someone who has learned to let God lead
  • Someone who has learned to give up the right to self
  • Someone who has learned to trust herself
  • Someone who has learned to speak up
  • Someone who has learned she can
  • Someone who has learned she has much to offer
  • Someone who has learned “forever”
  • Someone who has learned she still has a future here
  • Someone who has learned it’s never too late
  • Someone who has learned that nothing is impossible with God
  • Someone who has learned true freedom
  • Someone who has learned how to live
  • Someone who has learned not to fear death
  • Someone who has learned not to fear man
  • Someone who has learned not to fear the future
  • Someone who has learned not to run away
  • Someone who has learned how to stand strong
  • Someone who has learned to own up to her mistakes
  • Someone who has learned to let God lead (Interesting that He had me write this twice. LOL!)
  • Someone who has learned to step out
  • Someone who has learned to move into the unknown
  • Someone who has learned that dreams can become reality
  • Someone who has learned to truly care about others
  • Someone who has learned how to care for others
  • Someone who has learned to stand up for what she believes in
  • Someone who has learned courage
  • Someone who has learned when not to fight
  • Someone who has learned that confrontation can be profitable
  • Someone who has learned that comfort isn’t necessary
  • Someone who has learned that she doesn’t have to have all she wants – and wants can change
  • Someone who has learned her Father wants to give her desires and fulfill those desires
  • Someone who has learned to dream big
  • Someone who has learned to plan for Eternity
  • Someone who has learned to learn
  • Someone who has learned to take correction – to be discipled
  • Someone who has learned to press through
  • Someone who has learned how to draw lines
  • Someone who has learned how to set boundaries
  • Someone who has learned to be open to new experiences
  • Someone who has learned how to take praise
  • Someone who has learned how to take criticism
  • Someone who has learned to “blow off the blowhards”
  • Someone who has learned to expect the unexpected – and not fear it
  • Someone who has learned how to share her heart
  • Someone who has learned how to let others get credit for her work
  • Someone who has learned to turn the other cheek
  • Someone who has learned to walk the extra mile
  • Someone who has learned to give her shirt
  • Someone who has learned to meet her obligations
  • Someone who has learned how to say, “No”
  • Someone who has learned when to say, “No”
  • Someone who has learned to trust
  • Someone who has learned to teach
  • Someone who has learned what to teach
  • Someone who has learned share the word of the Lord (Sharing a word from God in specific situations)
  • Someone who has learned when not to share the word of the Lord
  • Someone who has learned when to keep her mouth shut
  • Someone who has learned to worship
  • Someone who has learned to prepare for visions from God
  • Someone who has learned how to get into His presence
  • Someone who has learned how to walk in His presense
  • Someone who has learned she never walks alone
  • Someone who has learned to lean into His Word
  • Someone who has learned that if she were physically able to keep recording (taking dictation) God would keep telling her all the things she’s learned that are important to Him – that He can use

It used to be common to hear someone say that they got their Masters from The School of Hard Knocks. I did, and God knew I would. He knew I would graduate with flying colors, coming out uniquely prepared for what He has in mind for me. That’s why He led me to that school, told me to marry Jack.

Sitting here, thinking about it, it’s definitely a fair trade. Other people come out of universities every day with advanced degrees that won’t do them any good in Eternity, and debt that may potentially follow them for the rest of their lives. I’ve come out of the School of Hard Knocks (Jack Cardwell University LOL!) owing no man, prepared for Eternity, and uniquely able to help so many others.

Yes, at long last, after the decades of questions and spending much of October fighting the urge to beat myself up for not leaving him long ago, for letting him treat me and the kids as he did, I finally understand. At long last, the past 40 years make sense and I can see that they have served a purpose.

I feel like someone who’s just been handed that final diploma, whose been told she’s earned the right to put those treasured letters after her name. I’ve been a new person since Jack died. Like that recent graduate, I’m ready for the next adventure, to do the next thing, to take on the world. I’m free to be the me God’s had in mind all along.

And I’m celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

My Salvation Story

It was a warm summer afternoon at Camp Tomahawk (somewhere in Texas) and our bunch of teen girls was gathered in the open-air chapel for service. I’d been in my share of church services and Acteens meetings, so plenty of seeds had been planted, but on this day a man of God presented the Gospel and plan of salvation in a way that made everything come together for me.

Before that day, I’d known about Jesus and all He’d done for me, but on that day, in that moment, I came to the realization that HE did it all for ME, and something was required of me – a simple something. I had to choose to accept what He’d done, to accept Him, so I went to the altar where I prayed a prayer. Walking back to my seat, I could tell something incomprehensibly huge had happened, because my counselor was ugly crying. It was beautiful.

This flashback came to me today as I was reading Mark 10. Jesus says in verse 15 that we have to receive the Kingdom of God like a child, and that’s exactly what I did. The offer was made. I could see it was a good offer. I accepted the offer. (God said it. I did it. That settled it.)

I’ve heard many beautiful salvation stories, and I love them, but I love ones like mine too. There are many types of “children” in the world. Some are boisterous and excitable, some break into tears, some can’t stop talking about this amazing thing that has happened, and some of us walk calmly back to our seats simply knowing in our inmost being that everything has changed whether we feel it or not.

God had a plan from the beginning – from before the Beginning. He knew ahead of time that man would blow it, sin would take over, and a blood sacrifice would be required to redeem the very man He was preparing to create. So, before Day 1, He and Jesus planned for Jesus to sacrifice Himself. (Rev. 13:8)

To this day, I cannot comprehend God asking His only Son to do it. I can’t even grasp His Son loving the coming world of sinners enough that He would agree. Yet He did.

They waited ages until the timing was just right. Jesus came as a child, grew, entered the ministry, taught thousands of people who wanted to listen without having to hear (among others who definitely heard, of course, but still…), and then intentionally let Himself be crucified even though He dreaded it so much that He begged God, in those last moments, to find another way. His emotional turmoil was so great that He shed blood in the garden before ever being taken prisoner. (Luke 22:44)

But when all was said and done, death and the devil lost as Jesus entered into Hell, set those captives free, then rose again to lead us all into freedom as well.

I say us. I hope it’s us. If you’re not one of us, please come! It’s so simple a child can do it. Just accept Him and what He did for you! Tell Him you get it. You know He came to earth so that He could live the perfect, sinless life and, as that sinless sacrifice, pay for the sins you could never pay for on your own. With His own blood, He paid the price to buy you back from the devil. Acknowledge that, and willingly give yourself to Him.

I guarantee that, if you truly give your life to Him, life will never be the same. Will it be easy? Not a chance. Not only do bad things happen to everyone, but there is also the reality that once you leave the devil’s camp and enter God’s camp you’ll have a target on your back. Fact, the devil already hates you because you are made in God’s image; this will make him hate you more than ever. The key, though, is that from the day you accept Jesus and start walking with God, you will never walk alone.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

She Lived Love

This is Granny’s hens and chickens plant.

I mean that literally. Because of the way it propagates, it really is the very same plant my grandmother tended from the time I was little. I cannot express how happy I was the day those first starts came into my hands. No, she didn’t physically touch this specific part of the plant, but that doesn’t matter; her touch was there in the beginning. She’s part of it, and it represents the fact that, though I won’t see her again until Heaven, she’s still with me.

This isn’t the only way she’s still with me, of course. Much more importantly, her touch was there in the beginning for me too. Granny touched my life by living Jesus in the most everyday, practical ways. Did she preach? No. Was she constantly reading her Bible? Not that I recall. Did she make a point of sharing Jesus with me every time we were together? Uh uh. So what did she do?

She loved.

Yes, I knew that she belonged to God and had a relationship with Him, but rather than preach to me about Him, she dealt with me as gently as she did with this plant. She tended to my needs. She cared for me. She lived love for me. She never preached a sermon, but she lived a sermon every day of her life. The very fact that I’m where I am today is due in part to her prayers and her faithfulness to live love.

We need more of that.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

A Different Kind of New Year’s Post

I listen to the clock ticking, and it is a comforting sound. Why?

Silence.

For the first time in many years, the house is silent – no 24-7 TV, no…

Well, I had something else in mind when I wrote the first sentence. I wasn’t at all going to head in this direction, but it’s time. It’s the end of the year for the rest of the world, but the end of an era for me…and I’m ready to shed some things. Maybe, hopefully, my story will encourage others.

Long story a little shorter, I spent decades married to a narcissist. I was in denial most of the time, and though it never really felt right I accepted it as my inevitable normal.

Mind you, there were times in his life (definitely in the last few weeks) when he was right with God, or so I believe. It’s hard to tell because narcissists have a gift for looking like awesome people from the outside. Their spouses and children, though… they pay the price. All things – every, single, thing – revolve around the desires of the narcissist, and they are only “generous” and “thoughtful” when others are looking on and can be impressed. Pretty much nothing matters but them and their happiness. Oh, and anything that goes wrong is inevitably someone else’s fault.

So, if you know the story of my husband’s disabilities, you can imagine how hard the last several years have been. He lost the tight control he’d always held, so he worked even harder in other areas like emotional manipulation and what I’ll call “practical punishment” – such things as trashing the house any time I wasn’t at home. Because, well, his situation was my fault.

There have been good moments. I know there have been, but they are so overshadowed by years of…everything from emotional abuse and infidelity to threats of self-harm, yelling, and ridiculous accusations that those memories are not readily accessible – and I’m not inclined to go digging.

He passed away 3 months ago tomorrow, and every single day of those three months I’ve thanked God for giving me the chance to live the life man is supposed to live. The word for my life right now is “Freedom.”

I’ve survived…no, thanks to God I’ve thrived through over thirty years of pretty much every kind of abuse but physical abuse. With God’s promise of forever, I’ve been able to face each day knowing that “this too shall pass.” Speaking honestly here, it did not kill me; it made me stronger.

The joy of the Lord – both the joy He has given me as I’ve focused on seeking Him through the years and His joy in me – has been my strength. My faith is where it is not in spite of, but because of the battles I’ve fought.

And now?

Now my home is silent enough that I hear the ticking of the clock on the wall. Today, I know continual peace even in the midst of new-widowhood challenges. Today, I know happiness on a level I’ve not seen since I was a child. As one confused friend recently expressed it to my sister, I glow.

So I’m leaving 2022 with a great sense of gratitude, and looking to 2023 with a special kind of hope and expectation.

I’m listening to the clock on the wall with a smile on my face.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

To our friends who thought you knew Jack, I’m sorry you had to learn this. I’ve spent three months letting most people think I’m just relieved not to be the primary caregiver of a very ill person…and I’ve felt like a hypocrite. I’m tired of hiding behind the lies of our life together.

The Presale Starts NOW

I couldn’t wait to start the presale, and it’s truly a preSALE. Agree to sign up for my newsletter and instead of paying the regular price ($5.99) you’ll only pay $2.99! The sale ends when the book goes live, so time is already running out!

Experiencing the Bible Presale

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C