salvation

Your Narcissist is Not Your Real Enemy

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, it definitely feels like the narcissist in your life is your biggest enemy. They’re not, though. The fact is, in the spiritual war you’re in, the narcissist is nothing more than a weapon in the devil’s arsenal. He or she is, in fact, just a tool the enemy uses in his attempts to keep you in fear, distracted from your relationship with God, and to ultimately defeat you. Still doubt me? Let’s look at Ephesians 6:12 in the New Living Translation.

For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in heavenly places.

THAT is where we find our true enemy. Again, the narcissist you deal with daily is nothing but a tool or weapon in the devil’s hands. I’m not saying don’t fight your narcissist; I’m just saying that if you invest all your efforts in fighting the human enemy you see, you will wear yourself out pointlessly. What we have to do, what we absolutely must do if we want to not just survive, but thrive, is put on our spiritual armor and go to battle.

It’s called Spiritual Warfare

In my experience, most Christians would rather avoid even thinking about spiritual warfare. I get it. I’ve been there. In those early years, when I was just starting to really walk with God, to be a growing Christian instead of a perpetually childlike Christian, I felt it was all I could do just to learn to truly walk the Christian walk; spiritual warfare was a whole new level I wasn’t interested in rising to.

But here’s the thing. I was in the middle of a war whether I liked it or not. I just couldn’t see the battles that were going on around me. It was only by the grace of God that I was protected as I was, walking through the battlefield, unarmed and clothed in nothing but my naivety. 

All of that changed when I admitted that my narcissistic husband was having an affair. Mind you, this may or may not have been his first affair; I don’t know. It was, however, the first affair I knew about, and by this point I was sensitive enough to what was going on in the spirit world that I recognized the evil he had brought back into our household. Yes, this is the first time I remember fully comprehending that this man I still loved was literally fighting on the devil’s side – though I guarantee you he would have denied it.

The affair, and its effects, drove me to my knees like never before. After the kids went to bed, while he was out with that other woman, I was spending hours in prayer. The prayers began out of a desperate need for God’s intervention. They continued hour after hour, day after day, week after week, because I learned that nothing on this earth even begins to compare to getting heart-close with God. Never mind stepping up to the next level; I experienced what I think of as “level leaping” during those months.

Yes

Months

I’ve referred in previous blog posts to how my life radically changed when, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, I was thrown into the fiery furnace. This is the furnace I was referring to. Suddenly, like them, I was face-to-face with Jesus in the midst of an inferno – and the flames didn’t matter anymore.

That’s not to say I didn’t care that the man I was in covenant with had broken our covenant, that it meant nothing that our son was suddenly having walking night terrors… I simply mean that nothing – nothing you will ever experience here on this earth – can compare with spending intimate, focused time with Him. Nothing.

We don’t know what Jesus said to those Hebrew boys while they toured the inside of the furnace, but we do know the experience changed them. Actually, it changed a lot more than them; the whole nation was affected. But you know this time in the furnace impacted them for the rest of their lives; it made all the difference.

It made all the difference for me too.

God taught me so much during those months! Yes, part of our time together involved spiritual warfare, and that was huge, but He started by ensuring I learned the most important thing of all. He showed me who I am, and Whose I am, and I began to understand just how precious I am to Him. Listen to me, no matter what your narcissist tells you, or how they treat you, you are precious to God. He loves you so much that if you had been the only one in the world needing salvation, He would have sent Jesus to die on the cross for you and you alone. 

I mean that literally! Even after all the years I’ve been living close to Him I still realize I can’t even begin to comprehend how much God loves me, how much He treasures me. Decades of being married to a man who made it clear in many subtle ways that I wasn’t attractive, wasn’t love-worthy, wasn’t enough… That could have destroyed me completely. It did not because of the time I spent in the furnace, face to face with Jesus, and the intimate relationship that continued when we walked back out, the one we still enjoy to this day.

This is why I push so hard, encouraging you to get just as close as you can to Him, to pray and fellowship with Him, to spend time in His Word, to be active in the church He calls you to… It’s all necessary if you want to do more than just survive.

You do, don’t you? I mean, I spent years just surviving in my marriage. We’d been married over ten years before he had the affair that drove me deeply into God’s arms. Honestly, the first few years didn’t seem so very bad; I thought the way he treated me was normal. By the time of the affair, though, I was literally in survival mode.

So, while I wouldn’t wish the fire on anyone, I’m glad I was thrown into it, because that experience was a turning point for me. It opened my eyes to the reality of what I’d been dealing with – not that he was a narcissist (That I only admitted a few years ago) – but that I had been a passive Christian, refusing to acknowledge that I have spiritual responsibilities and I’d been choosing not to live up to them.

Child of God, you will not thrive as a toddler wandering around on a spiritual battlefield. Survive? Well, God is so merciful that He covers a lot. However, the toddler is easily distracted, easily drawn in the wrong direction, and all too easily destroyed. That sounds harsh, I know, but I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be your story.

I’m glad I entered the fire. I’m glad God taught me all He did during those months – much of it being about spiritual warfare. From that point onward, I was a totally different Christian. Yes, my husband sometimes hurt me like no one else on earth could have, but from then on I knew who I was really fighting, and though I definitely had times when I fell to the floor in agony I tried hard to focus my efforts on my true enemy. I concentrated on learning how to be a warrior.

I’ve said it before. A child married Jack Cardwell, but a warrior spread his ashes. I thrived during the last twenty-five years or so of our marriage. Yes, for reasons even I don’t understand, I never was able to walk away from him completely. However, I did outlive him, and now I’m free to help others learn to walk as warriors too.

Step One?
Let’s go back to Ephesians 6, verses 10 through 18.
Again, I’m in the New Living Translation.

“A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.”

Spiritual Warfare is a huge topic I’m not prepared to address fully here. However, I can point you in the direction of some excellent resources by someone I’ve learned to trust.

Dressed to Kill: A Biblical Approach to Spiritual Warfare and Armor, by Rick Renner, is a powerful resource, and it comes in ebook format as well as paperback, hardcover, and audiobook, so you can read without being obvious if you don’t want anyone to know what you’re researching.

Life in the Combat Zone: How to Survive, Thrive, & Overcome in the Midst of Difficult Situations, also by Rick Renner, is another excellent resource available in all four formats.

If you use YouTube, you can search for “Rick Renner Spiritual Warfare” and find several video options. 

You can also visit his website, renner.org.

Let’s do this!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The following is a complete list of the articles in this series.

Surviving Narcissism: Introduction to the Series
The Power of Refusing to Care
Yes, It IS Abuse
Truth Matters: Be Honest with at Least One Person You Trust
You’re Not Protecting the Kids
Review: Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse
Your Narcissist is Not Your Real Enemy
Make God Your Refuge

God Tells Secrets

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

On the Saturday before Resurrection Sunday (AKA Easter), I “happened” to be studying Genesis 22. The word happened is in quotation marks here because I don’t for one minute think it was coincidence. I’d been trying to study this chapter for a couple of weeks, but hadn’t had enough cell signal in my apartment to run the Through the Word app. (Awesome app: If you don’t have it, get it. Use it.)

So, on the day before one of my favorite days of the year, I read one of the most challenging chapters in God’s Word, and the timing was perfect.

You probably know the story. God makes a request of Abraham, asking him to sacrifice his only son. You can tell going in that something isn’t quite right, because God has a clear stance on human sacrifice. (He’s totally opposed.) So… God’s up to something. Right?

This chapter is so full of rich details that it’s easy to miss some things. Like the fact that it’s God who speaks to Abraham in verse 1, but after Abraham proves himself it’s God’s Son, Jesus, who does the talking. I can’t go into all the details, though. Let’s just look at this.

Obviously, Abraham was convinced God was up to something too. He knew God well enough, and so completely trusted God’s promise to give him countless descendants through Isaac, that he dared obey. As Hebrews 11:18-19 (NET) tells us, “God had told him, ‘Through Isaac descendants will carry on your name,’ and he reasoned that God could even raise him from the dead, and in a sense he received him back from there.”

Sound familiar? It should. In writing, it’s called foreshadowing when something is a warning or indication of some future event.

When Abraham told Isaac that God would provide the offering, he wasn’t just speaking about their personal sacrifice. He didn’t realize it, of course, but looking from this side of the cross we know he was also prophesying about the Ultimate Sacrifice. Abraham didn’t withhold his only son, his child of promise, and God didn’t withhold His only Son, His child of Promise.

Perhaps my favorite detail in Genesis 22 is one I had either never noticed before or hadn’t recalled. In verse 14 it says, “And Abraham called the name of that place ‘The Lord provides.’ It is said to this day, ‘In the mountain of the Lord provision will be made.’”

And it was. On that very same mountain, Mount Moriah, outside of Jerusalem, IT – Salvation – was provided when God gave up His only Son. A proverb spoken for about 2,000 years in the future tense was fulfilled when Jesus shouted (SHOUTED, my friends! Have you ever noticed that?!) “It is finished!”

Like I said, God’s timing is perfect. Due to weak cell signal, I’d been unable to do the Through the Word study for this chapter until the very day I needed to see it. It’s such a timely reminder of how completely God has everything planned out, and how wholly we can trust Him.

He is risen!
He is risen indeed!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

“Go to Hell”

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I’ll bet you never expected to see those words on this page. At least, I hope not. They are words I literally cannot imagine saying to a single soul, no matter how evil they might be.

Flashback Time

It was late on a starlit evening, so many years ago that I’ve no idea how long ago it was. I was standing outside after a meeting, talking to a dear, sweet friend who was also my pastor’s wife. We were discussing the Rapture and I told her how very much I wished it would happen right then. Her response surprised me.

I can’t remember exactly what she said, but it was something along the lines of, “Tammy, I know you don’t really mean that. There are too many people going to Hell, and you want them to get saved first.”

I learned a few things about myself that night.

  1. I’d not even been considering those people. All I knew was that my life was hard and I wanted the hard parts to be over ASAP. Yes, I was married to a narcissist and daily paid the price for that relationship, but that was some pretty narcissistic thinking on my part too!
  2. The Rapture, in that moment, was an escape plan more than anything else, and that is not what the Rapture is all about! The Rapture is about the Bride going to be with her Husband!
  3. The fact that I wasn’t thinking about those people meant two huge things.
          a. I didn’t have a genuine revelation of Hell.
          b. I didn’t truly have the love of God in my heart if I wanted anyone to go there.

It’s amazing how God can completely humble you with a few, well-chosen words from a friend! (The book of Proverbs talks about that!)

My heart started changing that night.
I got on my knees before God and begged Him to do some things in me.

I asked Him to teach me to love like He loves; I knew this was my greatest weakness. It’s taken years for me to get where I am today, and I have definitely not arrived. Walking in love is a continual choice, and I do fail. When I fail to share Jesus with someone God urges me to talk to, whether out of hurry or even fear, it’s because I don’t have enough love. If I want someone to suffer, it’s definitely because I don’t have enough love.

Love is a choice that requires action. It is also extremely powerful. It was love for God, and choosing to love my husband, that empowered me to stay married to him and take care of him when he’d have died if I’d walked away. Had God not empowered me to love him, I couldn’t have done it. People say they admire me for how I spent those last 12 years of his life, but it wasn’t me; it was God’s love working through me – because I let it, because I begged for it.

The other thing I asked God to do was give me a revelation of eternity so that I could really understand what it means when someone goes to Hell. Just sitting here thinking about the large numbers of people who are already there, and those who will be, has me in tears. Hell was not created for man, but for the fallen angels. Man chooses to go there when he refuses to accept Jesus’ work on the cross – and he has no idea what he’s doing.

Deception is the order of the day, and man has fallen for it so completely.

The world we live in is off the rails. In Matthew 24:37-39, Jesus talks about the last days and what this world will be like. “But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.” Take a look at Noah’s story in Genesis and you’ll see how depraved that world had become, and just how much our world today resembles it.

The bottom line is that God essentially decided to destroy everything and start over.

So He had Noah build the boat, got Noah’s family and a bunch of animals in the boat, and shut the door. Yes, God shut the door; once the decision was made no one was permitted to change their minds. And right up until the rain started to fall, the people ignored Noah and his God, carrying on with their own, sinful lives. Yeah, much like today.

And much like those people, by their own choice, were left outside in the flood, a great multitude of people will be left here on Earth when the Church is called away. This event will be just as unexpected as the other, as Jesus said in verse 39, they “knew not until the flood came, and took them all away.”

Here’s the reality, after the Rapture of the Church those who are left behind will see hell on earth. The devil will have his opportunity to set up his kingdom just like he wants it, and he’ll subjugate everyone. He’ll only have seven years to do his evil work, but he’ll make the most of the time he’s given, and pretty much everyone on Earth will end up worshipping him.

Yes, most of those who remain here, according to prophecy, will end up in Hell. And if they do get saved, their lives, until they are martyred, will be hell on earth.

So yes, getting back to that original flashback, while I do pray, “Maranatha!,” which can be translated as, “Come quickly, Lord Jesus!,” I also pray, “But God, please, save every soul you can possibly save before calling us home.”

Because I don’t want anyone, ANYONE, to go to Hell. It’s not just a limited prison sentence. They won’t do time for a while and then get released to Heaven. It’s FOREVER. And while forever is my favorite word because it’s holds so much promise, it is a painful word when I think of Hell and those who will go there. 

My husband spent many years not right with God. I’m sure that comes as no surprise to those who follow me. No matter how much he hurt me, I did not want him going to Hell, and I rejoice that he got right with God before the end. I have relatives and friends who have lost family members who were murdered. I don’t want those murderers going to Hell; I want them to get saved before they die!

Anything else would be ungodly, because God makes it clear in His Word that He wants the same.

Don’t go to Hell!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

But This Will Never Change

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

When we were young, my sister and my favorite Christmas tradition was loading up on Christmas morning and heading to our grandparents’ house where the whole clan had gathered. But my grandparents eventually had to stop hosting, and that tradition changed.

As young kids, Christmas was a magical time and the gifts were great. Then came the year when, as a single mom, Mother could only give us each a skirt and a piece of candy. Through the decades, changing financial situations have had major effects on my Christmases.

Christmas, like everything else, is subject to change. We have to be able to shift and flex whether we like it or not, whether our kids like it or not. Even we change, in the ways we perceive the holiday and interact with those we spend time with, even just those who cross our paths.

But one thing remains constant; one thing will never change.

No matter what we think about Him, how we relate to Him or refuse to relate to Him, Jesus will always be there for us. We celebrate His birthday at Christmas for that reason.

And as long as we keep our focus on Him and the real reason for the season, we can handle all of those other changes. If we don’t get a single gift from man, we who have accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord have already received the greatest gift of all – forever with Him.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

He Let Everyone Hear

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

In Luke 23:34 NLT, you read, “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.‘“ This line always makes me pause, because it shows His tremendous love for the people, His mercy, and His grace, but there is another verse in this chapter that also makes me sit up and take notice.

Think about every crucifixion scene you’ve ever watched. Almost always, you hear Jesus gasp out words just before he dies.

But that’s not what happened.

“Then Jesus shouted, ‘Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!’ And with those words he breathed his last.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭23:46‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Did you see it?

Jesus SHOUTED.

At the end, He left no room for doubt. With a voice that could be heard by everyone present, this man for whom shouting should have been a physical impossibility (google crucifixion) let everyone know that God was His father and that He was still the one in control. By all rights, it should have taken several more hours for Him to die, but He very publicly died when HE chose.

Everyone present had to recognize the significance, so it’s really no surprise that the soldier made his declaration in verse 47.

They were all there either to mourn or to mock and jeer. They were also there, whether they liked it or not, to hear.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Merry Christmas to Me!

Tammy M Cardwell2 Comments

Here I sit, thinking about Christmas, and my heart is so full it could almost be Thanksgiving. I decided to come share, and find myself oddly short on words. So this may be a “scribble scrabble letter,” as Jo March would say. (I don’t have a copy of Little Women, so feel free to correct the quote in the comments.)

Although Jack passed on October 1st last year, it feels like it’s Christmas that marks the true end of my first year of freedom. I was still finding my way in those first few months, navigating “new widowhood” waters. So much has changed.

Things are still changing, as I’m recognizing ingrained “training” and countering it. Like the day, only a few months ago, when I realized I was rushing through a store and stopped in the middle of an aisle, frozen by the realization that I was still acting as if he were at home growing progressively angrier at my absence. There was NO ONE, other than me, who cared where I was or what I was doing. Yes, I intentionally slowed down and chose to enjoy the process.

So, side note: When you’re coming out of an abusive relationship, realize that it will take time to deal with all your baggage. That was a heavy backpack I’d not even realized I was wearing.

So many wonderful things have happened in the past year. Relationships that had been strained (because of him) have been growing increasingly stronger. My emotional health has improved unimaginably. And my physical health, TIA aside, has been great too.

Where my body is concerned, I’ve had more money and mental real estate to invest in taking care of me. I’d tried before, because I knew I had to stay healthy to keep him healthy, but his care had always been the priority. Now I am at a place where I know what works for me and I’m able to plan to maintain. For instance, knowing I’ll go months without widows’ benefits, I’ve been buying my key supplements in advance. Part of them anyway. I could never have done that before.

The biggest change is peace. I always tried to stay focused on God, and had His gift of peace, but the peace that comes from no constant strife and no 24/7 television? That is something I still delight over. My home is so quiet most of the time that…it’s bliss.

And it’s true. I really don’t own a television and it’s by choice. Many people think I’m nuts, but on those rare occasions when I’m in the mood, like during this season of The Voice, I watch with my sister on the couch that’s only steps away. (And yes, I’m glad Huntley won, though I felt the last four all could have.)

I’ve been asked if I plan to stay in my tiny home until Jesus comes back. Yes, unless God has a different plan, I do. I am happier here than I have been anywhere. I hate housework, and this requires almost none. I love silence and this gives me much. I have family right here, and love the casual time I spend with them.

Yeah, that’s a big part of why I’m so thankful this Christmas season. Casual fellowship with family is a beautiful thing. It doesn’t have to be planned; it just happens. Even my grandson pops in on occasion, sometimes with his fiancé, and that sort of thing never would have happened before. Frankly, it would have made me uncomfortable on many levels back when Jack ruled the house.

As I celebrate Jesus this season and look to 2024 with anticipation, my heart is full. There were so many years when… Nah, not even going to think about those years. They’re over. God has brought me into a new season.

“Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.”
‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭2:11-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

THE CACIQUE’S NOBLE DAUGHTER.

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I think of thee, sweet lady, as of one
Too pure to mix with others, like some star,
Shining in pensive beauty all alone,
Kindred with those around, yet brighter far.
                                                                        Mrs. Welby.

In his history of the Conquest of Florida, Mr. Theodore Irving repeats, very interestingly, the story of Juan Ortiz who, with three other Spaniards, fell into the hands of the Indians by stratagem. The four captives were taken to the village of Hirrihigua, the cacique, who ordered them to be executed on a day of religious festival. Three were shot with arrows; and then “Juan Ortiz, a youth, scarce eighteen years of age, of a noble family of Seville, was the fourth victim. As they were leading him forth, his extreme youth touched with compassion the hearts of the wife and daughters of the cacique, who interceded in his favor.

“The cacique listened to their importunities, and granted for the present the life of Ortiz; – but a wretched life did he lead. From morning until evening he was employed in bringing wood and water and was allowed but little sleep and scanty food. Not a day passed that he was not beaten. On festivals he was an object of barbarous amusement to the cacique, who would oblige him to run, from sunrise until sunset, in the public square of the village, where his companions had met their untimely end, Indians being stationed with bows and arrows, to shoot him, should he halt one moment. When the day was spent, the unfortunate youth lay stretched on the hard floor of the hut, more dead than alive. At such times the wife and daughters of the cacique would come to him privately with food and clothing, and by their kind treatment his life was preserved.

” At length the cacique, determining to put an end to his victim’s existence, ordered that he should be bound down upon a wooden frame, in the form of a huge gridiron, placed in the public square, over a bed of live coals, and roasted alive.

“The cries and shrieks of the poor youth reached his female protectors, and their entreaties were once more successful with the cacique. They unbound Ortiz, dragged him from the fire, and took him to their dwelling, where they bathed him with the juice of herbs, and tended him with assiduous care. After many days he recovered from his wounds, though marked with many a scar.

“His employment was now to guard the cemetery of the village. This was in a lonely field in the bosom of a forest. The bodies of the dead were deposited in wooden boxes, covered with boards, without any fastening except a stone or a log of wood laid upon the top; so that the bodies were often carried away by wild beasts.

“In this cemetery was Ortiz stationed, with a bow and arrows, to watch day and night, and was told that should a single body be carried away, he would be burnt alive. He returned thanks to God for having freed him from the dreaded presence of the cacique. hoping to lead a better life with the dead than he had done with the living.

“While watching thus one long wearisome night, sleep overpowered him towards morning. He was awakened by the falling lid of one of the chests, and running to it, found it empty. It had contained the body of an infant recently deceased, the child of an Indian of great note.

“Ortiz doubted not some animal had dragged it away, and immediately set out in pursuit. After wandering for some time, he heard, at a short distance within the woods, a noise like that of a dog gnawing bones. Warily drawing near to the spot, he dimly perceived an animal among the bushes, and invoking succor from on high, let fly an arrow at it. The thick and tangled underwood prevented his seeing the effect of his shot, but as the animal did not stir, he flattered himself that it had been fatal: with this hope he waited until the day dawned, when he beheld his victim, a huge animal of the panther kind, lying dead, the arrow having passed through his entrails and cleft his heart.

“Gathering together the mangled remains of the infant, and replacing them in the coffin, Ortiz dragged his victim in triumph to the village, with the arrow still in his body. The exploit gained him credit with the old hunters, and for some time softened even the ferocity of the cacique. The resentment of the latter, however, from the wrongs he had suffered from white men, was too bitter to be appeased. Some time after, his eldest daughter came to Ortiz, and warned him that her father had determined to sacrifice him at the next festival, which was just at hand, and that the influence of her mother, her sisters, and herself would no longer avail him. She wished him, therefore, to take refuge with a neighboring cacique named Mucozo, who loved her and sought her in marriage, and who, for her sake, would befriend him. ‘This very night at midnight.’ said the kind-hearted maiden, ‘at the northern extremity of the village you will find a trusty friend who will guide you to a bridge, about two leagues hence; on arriving there, you must send him back, that he may reach home before the morning dawn, to avoid suspicion -for well he knows that this bold act, in daring to assist you, may bring down destruction upon us both. Six leagues further on, you will come to the village of Mucozo -tell him I have sent you, and expect him to befriend you in your extremity -I know he will do it-go, and may your God protect you!’ Ortiz threw himself at the feet of his generous protectress, and poured out his acknowledgments for the kindness she had always shown him. The Indian guide was at the place appointed, and they left the village without alarming the warlike savages. When they came to the bridge, Ortiz sent back the guide, in obedience to the injunction of his mistress, and, continuing his flight, found himself, by break of day, on the banks of a small stream near the village of Mucozo.

“Looking cautiously around, he espied two Indians fishing. As he was unacquainted with their language, and could not explain the cause of his coming, he was in dread lest they should take him for an enemy and kill him. He, therefore, ran to the place where they had deposited their weapons and seized upon them. The savages fled to the village without heeding his assurances of friendly intention. The inhabitants sallied out with bows and arrows, as though they would attack him. Ortiz fixed an arrow in his bow, but cried out at the same moment, that he came not as an enemy but as an ambassador from a female cacique to their chief. Fortunately one present understood him, and interpreted his words. On this the Indians unbent their bows, and returning with him to their village, presented him to Mucozo. The latter, a youthful chieftain, of a graceful form and handsome countenance, received Ortiz kindly for the sake of her who had sent him; but, on further acquaintance, became attached to him for his own merits, treating him with the affection of a brother.”

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

But Do You KNOW Jesus?

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I asked Jesus, “Why are you crying?”
He answered, “So many are pretending.”

This really happened, during worship, at my church. Jesus was crying. No, I couldn’t see it with my eyes, but it was truly as if He were standing in front of me, looking over my shoulder with tears running down His face. I asked Him “Why?” twice before He answered me.

Are you like those who were making Him cry? Are you pretending? Do you go through the Christian motions thinking you’ve got all your bases covered while your heart is actually turned elsewhere?

Jesus, in Luke 6:46 (NLT), says, “So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say?” That is a profound question, and one that demands an answer. If we’re not doing what He’s saying, He is not our Lord. And if He isn’t our Lord, can He be our Savior?

This is hard, I know, but I’m seriously concerned about the Church. Anyone who has even a tiny bit of understanding of the times we’re living in, just a little bit of knowledge about End Times prophecy, can see clearly that we are on borrowed time. We are rushing toward the Tribulation at warp speed. Those who prefer to ignore End Times prophecy and toss off the same old, “People have been saying that my whole life,” are in grave danger.

Yes, I firmly believe in the Rapture of the Church, specifically in the pre-Tribulation Rapture of the Church. My conviction has me praying constantly for people to be saved. I don’t want ANYONE to go through the Tribulation, even though I know the majority will.

“What if you’re wrong?” you may ask. Ok, what if I am wrong?

If I’m wrong then I go through the Tribulation too, or at least half of it. My faith is and always will be in God, and I know that He will keep me in all things; yes, even to death. So, if I go through the Tribulation, I go through it standing firmly on the Rock of my Salvation, having built my house on the Rock. (Read the rest of Luke 6 if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

But what of the others? If you think it’s hard to live for God now… You’ve not seen anything yet.

Salvation is not just saying a prayer and accepting a “Get out of Hell free” card. Jesus is to be our Lord and Savior. He is LORD. What does that mean? It means He reigns supreme. If Jesus is my Lord, HE rules my life – not me. If He is my Lord, I do my utmost to always ensure my ways please Him. (Do I fail? Yes, and when I do I repent!)

How do I do that? Relationship! Get to KNOW Him. I do that through actively staying the Bible. (Jesus and the Word are one. Did you know that?) I do it by praying, by having an ongoing, ACTIVE relationship with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I do it by being actively in church – not just filling a pew and pretending, but by truly taking part in all that is church.

It’s nearly impossible to truly, consistently, please someone, to do what they want you to do, if you’re not close enough to them to learn their heart and voice. Pretend all you want, and you may fool those in the pews around you, but when the rubber meets the road, when it’s time to be caught away, it will be those whom Jesus KNOWS who hear the call.

Should that call come, should the Rapture happen and you find yourself still standing in a (hopefully) mostly empty church, repent, turn to God, and get just as close to Him as you possibly can, because the next seven years will be worse than anything you could possibly imagine, and those who don’t turn to God will fall in with the devil and the Antichrist. That road leads straight to Hell.

But don’t make that necessary. Don’t miss out, I implore you. If you don’t know Jesus, you can accept Him as your Savior and Lord right now. If you’ve known Him, but have backed away, you can repent right now. No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, He stands ready to accept your repentant heart and wash it in His own blood.

Some people think God hates the world, but He loves us all so much that He asked Jesus to die for us. And Jesus loves us so much that He did.

Accepting Salvation is simple. Just open up your mouth and talk to God. Let Him know that you accept the sacrifice that was made for you on the cross, and that you are unconditionally HIS. If you are uncomfortable right now and want to “cover all the bases” of prayer, you can say something like…

God, I know you love me, that you love me so much You asked Jesus to step down out of Heaven and live like me, facing every temptation I would ever face. And He never failed You. His birth was a miracle, His life was filled with miracles, He lived without ever committing even one sin so that He would be the perfect sacrifice you needed to make me right with You. I repent of my sins right now and accept you, Jesus, as my personal Savior and my Lord. I choose to serve You, not myself, and I ask You to help me walk every day doing what you tell me to do. I am determined to be right with you when you return to take your Church home. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Friend, I urge you, focus every day on getting to know Him better and better. A thousand years from now, it won’t matter who won the Word Series or what your paycheck was. What will matter will be who held your heart while you waited.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Life & Death, Heaven & Hell

Tammy M Cardwell2 Comments

On Thursday, I will attend the funeral of a man who has been dear to me for decades – a friend, a teacher, a mentor… my bonus father. And yeah…tomorrow is Father’s Day and I don’t have either of my fathers around now. It’s been a rough few days. I’ve been distracted, off kilter, and just not me. I’ve cried, and cried again. That’s all ok. It’s not a bad thing, admitting that you hurt.

But, on the other side, I know exactly where he is, that he is finally free from the sickness that has held him bound for years, that he is exactly where he has been working to get to his whole life.

As 1 Thess. 4:13 reminds us, for Christians grief is different. Unlike those “out there,” who have no hope, we have the confidence that those who leave this life knowing Jesus enter the next one getting to know Him truly face to face. I’m thrilled for him. Honestly, I’m not a little jealous that he beat me there. Selfish? Yeah, well…

But I say all of that to say this… This reminds me, once again, that people die every day without knowing Jesus, without having accepted salvation. I literally don’t want anyone, not the worst person on Earth, to spend eternity in Hell, and I need to be doing my part to draw as many as I can to the foot of the cross and beyond. We all do.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Can You Imagine?

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

In February, I posted “I Can’t Imagine,” in which I shared my recent revelation that I have aphantasia and the rest of you don’t. Quick explanation: I have zero visual imagination. When I learned that most of you can not only see pictures but also movies in your heads I was floored.

This revelation has led to many conversations in various forums, and one thing has been consistent. Those who can see and experience everything that I’ve never known are genuinely sorry for me that I’m missing out on so much. Now, in reality, I don’t know what I’m missing. Do I kind of wish I could get in on the game? Sometimes, yeah, but I know it’s impossible and I tend to not waste my time on impossibilities.

There is one thing. If I do have a vision while in prayer or worship, if I find myself seeing something in my mind in similar fashion to what I’m guessing you all see, I know without a doubt that it’s from God because my imagination can’t create it. I don’t get these visions often, but now that I know what’s what I can have no doubts whatsoever about their origin, and that’s seriously cool.

Which brings me to a thought. If you’re a Christian, when I talk about my walk with God you can relate on at least some level. We both have the capability, as it were, to “see.”

If, on the other hand, you’ve never had a relationship with God, you’re like me in a sense. You can’t imagine the wonder and joy of having a relationship with Him because, like me with aphantasia, you’re blind to the possibility. And let me tell you, as much as those who have visual imaginations feel sorry for those of us who don’t, their feelings can’t touch what I feel for those who don’t have a relationship with God.

Listen, please. Unlike me, you don’t have to stay in the dark. You can reach out and accept the salvation that Jesus offers and enter into God’s very presence, learning how to walk closely with Him and know what it’s like to live inside His love and grace. I literally would not trade my relationship with God for anything – ANYTHING. I cannot express strongly enough what you are missing if you’re not walking with Him. Nothing compares, and knowing that this life is just the beginning, that I have eternity in His presence to look forward to… It’s wonderfully overwhelming just to think about.

So I encourage you to step out. Come to Jesus and accept what He did for you. He came and lived a sinless life specifically so that He would qualify as the perfect and final sacrifice. The blood of the lambs the Jews sacrificed covered their sins temporarily. When you accept the blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross, that blood washes your sin away completely, and God never thinks about it again. This, the removal of that sin, opens the door for you to enter into a relationship like none you’ve ever known. Honestly, you cannot imagine what will happen when you take that step; it’s beyond human ability to predict.

If you’re ready to accept Jesus as your Savior and Lord, it’s easy. Primarily, it’s about what’s in your heart, that you’ve decided to repent of your sins (meaning to turn your back on them and walk away) and accept His sacrifice, trusting His work on the cross to save you. Open your mouth and pray, talk to Him. There is no official “Sinner’s Prayer” that you have to seek out. It’s as simple as saying something like, “Lord, I know I’m a sinner, and I know that I cannot pay the price for my own sins. I need a Savior. I need You, the One who lived without sin and then let Himself be crucified for me. I accept Your sacrifice on the cross as payment for my sins, and I invite you to come live in my heart, to fill me with Your love and be the Lord of my life. I choose to spend the rest of my days, the rest of eternity, living for You, and I ask You to lead me, to help me become who You want me to be. Amen.”

And then do what you’ve promised; learn to become more like Him. In Luke 6:46, Jesus says, “And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?” You’ve asked Him to be your Savior and Lord, so get into the Word of God (the Bible) and find out what He wants you to do. Get in a Bible-believing church, one where the minister actually preaches from the Bible (Sad, that I have to say that, but many ministers today don’t.), and learn from the man of God. Pray! That may sound intimidating, but think of it as talking to God on the phone without a phone. Seriously, when I’m praying, I’m real with my Creator…and He is real with me. Yes, He talks to me too! I spend most of my prayer time listening…or try to.

I promise you: While accepting Jesus in no way guarantees an easy life (On the contrary, the devil doesn’t like losing!), having Him by your side makes all the difference in the world…and more. I don’t have to imagine it; I live it daily. I hope you will choose to as well.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

If you want some help getting into the Bible, you may want to check out my book, Experiencing the Bible. It’s available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook, and it’s a practical answer to the question, “What do you mean, ‘Get into the Bible’?” It’s available in all formats on Amazon. The ebook can also be found at various retailers including Smashwords.com (where you can literally set your own price – even free).