trust

God Has a Reason

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Story time, and it’s a story with three lessons.
1. When God says, “Move,” you need to move.
2. When you know you need help, ask Him.
3. When He tells you what to do, do what He says.

WHEN GOD SAID, “MOVE.”

I was having a rough night. Allergies ruled and I could not settle down to sleep even though I’d been in bed for quite a while. In the midst of my struggles, God told me to get up and use my neti pot. I didn’t want to, but I’ve been trying to practice quick obedience, so I did. I got up, turned on the light, and headed to the sink.

As I was washing the neti pot afterwards, I literally said something along the lines of, “Well, I don’t know why you had me do that; it doesn’t seem to have done anything.” And it hadn’t, not really, BUT.

I should stop a moment and explain that after the horrible reaction I had to all of the gnat bites back in June/July, I got a gnat tent (Like a mosquito tent, but with tinier openings) for my bed, and it’s still there. I’ve about decided it’s going to stay there, to be honest.

So I got back to the bed, pulled aside the curtain, and saw why God had me get out of bed. It wasn’t because I needed to use my neti pot. It was because there were two of us inside my tent and He knew what would happen if the other came upon me unawares. That’s my Kindle in the lower right corner, so you can see how big it was.

Yes, I’m now aware this is a wolf spider, which would not have hurt me and is beneficial, but I remind you that this giant spider was trapped inside the tent with me, in the dark. God alone knows what would have happened if it had crawled on me in the middle of the night. As I stood facing the thing, we were both frozen. I knew I was in trouble if I didn’t handle this the right way, and I know next to nothing about spider behavior. So…

I KNEW I NEEDED HELP.
I ASKED THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD HELP ME.

As I stood there, I recognized that I was way out of my element. The spider had to not only leave my tent, but also my little apartment or I might never have peace again. I literally told God, “This one’s on You. You are going to have to handle this because I can’t!”

He told me to step outside and get the net we use to sweep leaves up off the surface of the pool. I had no idea the net was even there because It’s often attached to the pole, but I slowly crossed to the door, never taking my eyes off the spider, and took a super quick glance outside to find that the net was exactly where He said it would be.

Then I stood there, glancing back and forth between spider and net, and informed God that He had to make the thing stay right where it was. Does it sound like I was desperate? Good, because I was.

I DID WHAT HE TOLD ME TO.
I DID IT THE WAY HE SAID TO DO IT.

I was back at the bed, net in hand, in about two seconds, controlling my breathing and reminding myself that God always has my back. Again, I was talking to Him, telling Him I needed precise instructions so I wouldn’t blow my part of this adventure. (No, I didn’t think of it as an adventure at the time, but I can laugh about it now.)

God told me to move slowly and to gently put the side of the net right by the spider. I did, and that spider stepped onto the net as pretty as you please while I stared in shock. I then moved very slowly, backing out of the bed and heading for the door. I only disturbed it once on the way out; it was actually a lot more calm than I was.

I would love to say I settled right down to sleep after the spider and I parted ways. I didn’t. Every time I thought about what could have happened if the thing had crawled on me in the middle of the night, I thanked God one more time for telling me to get out of bed. I had that thought and reaction over and over for hours. In fact, this situation made me even happier that I’m aphantasic, because as a total aphant my imagination couldn’t toss visual possibilities at me, only concepts.

We live and we learn, and sometimes we just get reminded of basic truths. God knows what’s going on, and if He tells us to do something there’s always a reason. Unlike this particular experience, we don’t always actually see His plan, but we can be confident that He has one and trust that our obedience is serving a purpose.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Worry is Insidious

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

It’s also a form of fear.

Shakespeare assured us that a rose, no matter what you called it, would still smell like a rose. Fear, no matter what you call it, is still fear, and as Christians we too often put God in the position of having to remind us of this fact. Like He reminded me not too long ago.

I was made aware of two situations that had me very much in God’s face, reminding Him of His Word, asking Him to move on behalf of the people involved, talking at Him a LOT.

Nothing wrong there, right?
So I thought at first.

Yes, I was interceding on behalf of my friends, which was undeniably the right thing to do. But then I woke up to what I was really doing, and my prayers changed. “What do you mean, Tammy?” I’m so glad you asked!

I was recently approached about a conflict and asked for advice. I felt strongly that one of the people was in chronic worry mode, being motivated by fear, and if they would conquer that fear (with God’s help, obviously) the conflict would resolve itself.

So, I took that situation and the person in question, to God. In no time at all, He connected this person’s situation with my earlier, somewhat desperate, prayers and strongly advised me to come here and share with you. 

Here’s the bottom line. In both cases, no matter what we called it, even if we assured ourselves that we were merely concerned or anxious, or perhaps admitted we were worried, we were both being motivated by fear.

In case you don’t realize it, God addresses the issue of fear hundreds of times in the Bible and makes it clear that faith and fear don’t mix. They are, in fact, diametrically opposed. Faith is confidently putting something in God’s hands. Fear, in any form, is refusing to leave it in God’s hands. Fear thinks God can’t really be trusted. Fear interferes with God as He is working.

You know how, in cooking, you prep some things and then put them on the stove where you must leave them alone for a while? That time when it’s left to cook is vital; if you give into temptation and stir the pot, you may ruin all you’ve worked for.

So, picture God prepping and putting the pot on the stove. He’s watching it carefully, but in your fear and impatience you grab a spoon and start stirring.

You mean well. You really do. Even so, in your worry that God won’t get it right you decide you need to take control of the situation, or at least feel like you’re taking control. God loves you, and the truth is He’ll let you yank that spoon away from Him even though He knows better than you do. If you’re a parent who has dealt with childish actions like these, you can imagine how your lack of trust makes Him feel.

Motivation matters regardless of what we’re doing. I really care about the people I was praying for, but it was only when I moved beyond my initial fear-founded prayers and into faith-based prayer that my prayers had true power. It was only then that I found genuine peace even knowing that, in that instant, nothing had noticeably changed. It was then that I was able to hear the voice of God and know what to do next.

Fear is insidious and wears many guises. We all must keep our shields up and ensure we don’t slip into being motived by it instead of faith.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

The Trifecta – Lessons Learned

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

If you’ve heard my story before, stick with me anyway. Please.

My life, until shortly before I turned 19, was filled with worry. I cannot sufficiently express how completely the worry consumed me. It was so bad, so constant, that it felt normal. And then the pastor of the church God had led me to only months (weeks?) earlier had an altar call for those battling worry.

I was there. So were many others. We lined the altar, standing shoulder to shoulder. Pastor Ronnie started at the end to my right; he prayed for people and they went to sit down. Pray, return to seat. Pray, return to seat. Pray, return to seat. And then there was Tammy.

He stopped in front of me, met my eyes, and said, “Stay right here.”

WHAT?!

Maybe you can imagine how I felt standing there. Worry was obviously a factor. What?! Why?! What was he going to do? Why was I different? How long did I wait? I was so far beyond all kinds of awkward that I have pretty clear memories of those relative hours I spent watching more and more people be prayed for and return to their seats.

After what felt like a month, he came back to me. He was completely serious, and kind, and loving as he stood before this 18-year-old girl he was only just getting to know. We never discussed this moment later, so I don’t know what he was thinking, but I know for a fact that he understood two things.

1. He was aware that my issue was beyond normal worry, that there was a spirit of worry he’d have to deal with.

2. He knew that my brain would need extra help.

As he stood in front of me, he had me hold out my arms. Then he took off his suit jacket and laid it across them. Again looking me in the eyes, he said, “I want you to imagine a river of blood running at your feet. I’m going to pray for you, and when I finish you’re going to drop my jacket. Think of it as your worries and see them disappear under that blood. And realize you’ll have to reach through the blood to pick them up again.”

Now, it’s been over 40 years, so obviously that’s not an exact quote, but you get the idea. He prayed. I don’t remember what he prayed, though I’m sure part of it was dealing with that spirit of worry, then he said amen and I dropped the jacket. I was free. I knew something big had just happened.

And now to why I entitled this “The Trifecta.” Pastor Ronnie, like Moses, did his part. God, just as was true in Egypt, did His part; He delivered me out of bondage to worry. Now it was time for me to do my part, to get the worry out of me.

I look back and I am so grateful! In comparing my walk to that of the Jews entering the desert, I see how easily I could have returned to letting worry rule over me, to go back to sacrificing myself on its altar. I didn’t in part because a wise man of God knew that I needed a tool, something to remind me that in order to carry the worry again I had to reach through the blood of Jesus to pick it up.

Once the spirit of worry was dealt with, the choice was mine, and it was an every day, every hour choice that I had to actively make. It is a choice I still have to actively, consistently make. In fact, I wrote a post not long ago entitled, “Drop It,” where I shared the new tool God had given me to help me deal with worry as well as a few other things. The devil knows what worked on me before, so he often tries to work the same tactic again. (Remember this when God delivers you from any addiction.)

Jesus said something along the lines of, “Don’t be afraid,” 365 times, and worry is a form of fear. So yes, He is well aware that it’s something we all deal with and yes, He is telling us it is something we can control.

For me, I kind of think it’s like Paul’s thorn in the flesh. God never removed that thorn, whatever it was, but He gave Paul the grace to deal with it. “My grace is sufficient for you,” God said in 2nd Corinthians 12:9. In 2nd Corinthians 9:8 we are told that God can cause all grace to abound towards us so we have every sufficiency for every good work. He gives us what we need to overcome.

Now, I will step to the side a second and say this. Sometimes He gives us the tool called medicine. A couple of times in the past 13 or so years, I spent a few months on antidepressants, and for years I carried a bottle of anti-anxiety medication with me. My occasional need for the anti-anxiety meds ended shortly after my husband passed away (which kind of makes clearer the stress I lived under). I am grateful that I had the medical help I needed when I needed it.

So, to bring this web-bound book to a close, when we need big things in our lives, it’s a team effort. God must be in the mix, a minister or other faith-filled believer may be needed, and we will have to do our part. Our part involves walking by faith, and that faith will require us to make the right choices and do the right things.

The three working together? That’s powerful!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Only in the Night

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

Eleven years ago, a friend and neighbor called me late at night, telling me that I absolutely had to head over to witness something she was sure I had never seen. She was right.

Night Blooming Cereus, at least the particular plant you see in this admittedly not-great photo, only blooms at night, and only blooms once a year. I’d seen it many times during the day and it was a remarkable plant – remarkable in that it wasn’t all that attractive. She cared for it tenderly though, and nurtured it, because of how glorious it is on that one night a year.

I spent a lot of time over there that night, chatting with my friends and admiring a thing of beauty that was entirely new to me. What if I’d not been home? What if I’d refused to respond to the invitation? I would have missed out, and I would’ve had no idea what I was missing.

The fact is, there are a lot of beautiful things we can only see in the dark. Plants like this one, fireworks, the stars…

The same applies to dark times in our lives. Frankly, there are many truly wonderful things that can only be seen and understood when we let God lead us through the night.

Do we want to walk in the dark? Not really, no. But just like I would have missed that one-night-only flower if I’d refused to accept the invitation and step out, we miss many nighttime-only lessons when we refuse to let God lead us through those dark days of our lives.

Uncomfortable? Undeniably.

Potentially fear inducing? Yep.

Profitable? Beyond our wildest imaginations.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Who’s in Your Corner?

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I was honored, today, by being asked to take on a new ministry responsibility. I accepted readily, because I believe in my boss’ ability to hear from God. That does not mean I was confident in my own ability to fulfill the role.

I immediately leapt into studying and preparation, but even after more encouragement from she who asked me, I had doubts about me. So after work I played it smart and texted my sister asking for prayer. She agreed to pray, but she also sent the following.

“I remember how scared you were before your first speaking engagement at a conference. And look how you came through that.

“I remember how scared you were before you got your job at Bath and Bodyworks and you rocked it.

“Need I go on?”

She didn’t need to. Those reminders of past victories were all it took. She Who Is Always In My Corner came through for me again.

We all need someone who’s in our corner, someone we can rely on for encouragement and pep talks. (Likewise, we need to be the same for others.)

Who’s in your corner?

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Focus on Forever

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment
Art by Amanda Kelly

At my request, a friend created this custom artwork for my new office. I’d been thinking about how I wanted the office decorated and the ONLY thing I knew was that I wanted one constant reminder.

“Forever” is my absolute favorite word in the whole world because it reflects God’s amazing promise: His children get to spend forever with Him! It is also a reminder that everything I face today is temporary. No matter how challenging life gets, and oh my Lord but it does get challenging, I know that a thousand years from now today’s troubles will be meaningless in almost every way.

I say almost, because how we respond to today’s challenges will definitely matter a thousand years from now; our actions today work together to determine who we will be tomorrow. When I stay focused on forever, focused on Him instead of the trials and tribulations that sometimes seem to pile on top of each other, I’m much more likely to get it right.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Three Hours to Go

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

It would be awesome if I could come up with something wise and wondrous to say about the new year and new decade.

I can’t.

In the past 24 hours I’ve spent quite a bit of time praying for multiple people who were in absolutely crazy and even dangerous situations. One of them even commented that it was as if 2020 decided to go out as insanely as it’s been.

No, I don’t expect things to change dramatically overnight, though I do look forward to the new. I’m just glad. I’m glad I’ve grown this year, instead of the opposite. I’m glad I’ve learned this year, instead of stagnating. I’m glad I’ve loved people this year, instead of…yeah.

I’m particularly glad that my God has been with me every step of the way, because He never leaves me or forsakes me. At one point this year, when I was having a rough moment, He said, “You never walk alone.”

Mic drop

That’s the answer, and I thank Him for it. Whatever comes in 2021, whether it’s as crazy as 2020 has been or is truly a whole new era, I’ll be ok because He is with me.

Happy New Year.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Do I?

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

I recently had to stop in the road because two little dogs had dashed into the street. One crossed the road, but the other got confused and was wandering. I prayed for the poor things, but then I realized what they’d been after and was floored.

A large dog was jogging beside a woman. He stayed right at her side, never seeming to even notice the little yapper that was chasing after him. He never broke stride, never looked away. He was doing EXACTLY what he’d been trained to do.

And he was carrying his own leash. Literally. He held it in his mouth as he jogged down the sidewalk beside a woman who obviously had total trust in him. And the two made me think.

In a sense, we’re all like that dog. God calls us to run along beside Him, but though He gives us a guide (the Word and the Spirit) that He could use as a leash to control us, He ultimately leaves the decisions up to us. What do we do? What do I do? Do I actively choose to walk faithfully beside Him, not turning to the right or left?

Do I?

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C

Facing the Mountain

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

We all face mountains. The question is, how do we face them? One man starts up the mountain without worrying about its height or terrain, trusting God to lead him every step of the way. Eventually, he pauses to glance around and sees he’s made it halfway up without even realizing it.

Another man stands on the dark side of the mountain, with no light to reveal its features or face. It is fearsome and he shivers at its base in terror, not daring to put one foot in front of the other. Yet if he waits for the sun the truth of the mountain will be revealed and his path become clear.

It is not the mountain itself that matters, but how we face it. If we trust in God with all our hearts and refuse to rely on our own, faulty logic, if we turn to Him for direction at every step, He will show us the right path to take.

Celebrating Jesus and Proverbs 3:5-6!

Tammy C

Get Ready

Tammy M CardwellLeave a comment

A friend asked me to tell her, in one sentence, what God has been saying to me recently. The question caught me off guard because He’s been saying so much on so many different topics that, for a moment, I had to think. How to put it in one sentence?

Then I saw it. Other than the times He’s come to encourage me and help me through something, or to answer one of my myriad random questions, everything He’s said has ultimately been about me getting ready – ready to be used.

I’m not talking about being used as a speaker or writer, both of which I’ve done before and loved. I’m talking about being used every single day of my life.

I’m to stick close to Him, constantly listening for the Spirit’s whispered, “There. He needs help,” or, “Stop. She’s crying out for someone to listen.”

I’m to be prepared and able. For those two nudges, anyone could respond, but He’s calling me to more. I’m to truly grasp who and what He is in me and who and what I am in Him, to understand the authority I have as a believer when it comes to dealing with demonic activity.

I am to have His Word firmly planted in my heart, ready to be brought out and used as the Sword of the Spirit that it is. There are two important things about a sword. You cannot use it if you don’t have it (I’m talking memorization, not just carrying a Bible) and you can’t use it if you don’t know how to use it.

I’m to stay on the offensive. This is something that’s been churning in me for a while, that as a Christian I’ve been living my spiritual warfare life on the defensive. No military leader wants to fight battles defensively. He knows the best chance of winning any battle is to stay on the offensive.

I am to live thankfully trusting, because this is where peace lies, and peace – His peace – is one of the most vital elements of all.

I am to love with compassion. I am to love like never before, being intentional about expressing the love of God to the people He puts in my path – whoever they are.

So, almost everything He’s been saying recently falls into one of these categories. Really, there’s nothing new here. But that’s the point, isn’t it? We never know what’s coming, but He does, and He wants us ready to face it head on.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C