Author: Tammy M Cardwell

I Am A…

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Recently, in conversation, I said the words, “I’m a blogger.”

I understand that what you’re about to read seems ridiculous. Stay with me.

My own words caught me off guard. I mean, I AM a blogger; I’ve been blogging for years here and on my previous site. Regardless, after saying those words out loud, I had the same epiphany I did when I realized that I not only wrote but was, in fact, an author. It was a bit of a delightful shock.

“And you are sharing this today because…?” you ask? I will answer happily!

Frankly, this is the perfect opportunity to remind you to own what you are. Do you write? Then you are a writer! True, you may not be a published author yet, but that has no bearing on the fact that you are a genuine, bona fide writer.

Do you create art? You are an artist! Whether or not you’ve ever sold anything means nothing. Even if you’ve never shown a single piece of your art to another human being, you are an artist. Own that you are an artist! Delight in it! Enjoy being what you are.

Yes, I realize skill is a measurable thing and many judge “what we are” by the skills we currently possess. Many believe that unless you’ve been published, you’re not a writer. Many are convinced that if your creations aren’t art by their definition, you are not an artist. I get it. I’ve said myself that I’m not an artist even though many have tried to call me one. I have the skills required to copy a picture, but not to create one; by my definition, that makes me a copyist, not an artist.

But I’ve been a blogger since I published my very first blog post. It wouldn’t matter if no one read what I wrote, I would still be a blogger. I just had to be reminded of this fact, because I’d fallen into judging myself as a blogger by the number of people my blog reaches. My blog community is growing, so I’ve felt more like a blogger lately than I have in a while…which is absurd.

God has planted within each of us the potential to be many things, and we get to choose which of those things we will be. Do some have more innate talent than others in certain areas? Of course, I’m not belittling this fact. I’m just saying that we all have potential. As believers, we should be actively drawing out that potential and using it to His glory, and we should believe in ourselves as we do.

But even if you don’t believe in God, those gifts, those desires, those drives to BE, are still there waiting for you to act on and own them. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t allow doubt, either your own or someone else’s, to drag you down.

I’ve noticed it’s become a thing to ask people what advice you would give your younger self. Often you hear such things as, “Don’t give up on your dreams,” and “Never stop believing in yourself.” I think it’s time to flip the script and let your younger self talk to you. If blogging were a thing when I was young, as soon as child Tammy hit publish on her first blog post, no matter how good or bad anyone else thought it was, she would have grinned and said, “I’m a blogger!” And, though she had only just taken her very first step, she would have been right.

So, with this in mind, I urge you to invite your inner child, that preschooler who knew without a doubt he or she could accomplish anything they wanted, to come out and have a chat. Let that younger you give today’s you the courage to own what you already are, to declare with confidence, “I am a…!”

Once you convince yourself, there’s no telling what you can do.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

Photoshoot Results

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Photo Credit: Angela Hernandez of Creative Heart Photography

Aphantasia Network publishing my latest aphantasia post as an article triggered the need for an updated set of portraits. Or, more accurately, it shoved me forward into doing what I know is a professional necessity for my upcoming new website and my social media accounts.

But, you see, photoshoots are one thing I have always dreaded, because I almost never like photos of myself. This is literally the first time I’ve gone into a shoot unfazed. I’d decided to leave the whole thing in the hands of God and the photographer (and told God about this decision, of course). The result was a Tammy who wasn’t worried about “producing” and could simply relax into obeying the photographer’s instructions.

It was a great experience over all, even though our outdoor shoot in Baytown’s historic district meant very cold wind. I told my photographer that I had a whole new respect for models who do bikini shoots in the middle of winter! We did get some good pictures, though, including the one above. My favorite is this one of me against a plain brick wall. It was one of the few times that the wind worked in our favor. Or, as she put it while shooting, we got a diva wind.

You see those crossed arms? Yep, not only for looks.
It was fuhreeeezing! But fun!

It got even more fun when we moved to the studio. Not being at the mercy of the elements meant we could take our time and get more creative while having laughs and picking on each other. I really like a lot of what we accomplished there!

I genuinely appreciate the results of this shoot, both because I had an experience I not only totally enjoyed and that we ended up with such completely satisfying results.

And I leave you with the last photo we took. Well, one of the last. I’d already kicked off my shoes and moved to the floor for other poses when she asked me to “sit criss cross.” My book, Experiencing the Bible, was sitting right there so I snatched it up as if I were reading it and she started shooting.

When she was finished, I read aloud the verse I’d randomly turned to. It was Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” That “happens” to be my life verse, has been for years, and I don’t believe there was anything random about it being the one I was looking at in those last shots. God is so cool!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

PS: The links to Experiencing the Bible are associate links. If you buy a copy using this link I’ll not only earn my usual royalties, but will also get just a little bit extra as an Amazon associate. Thanks!

Tiny House Part 18: My Window

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I have one window in my apartment, which isn’t all that surprising given its size. It lets a good bit of natural light into my kitchen area, and is truly a blessing. Due to the construction of the building, the sill is quite deep. That makes it even better!

Obviously, the window is home to my little air conditioner, which though small proved quite sufficient this past summer. The way they built up around the unit not only sealed it in well but provides me so much privacy that I have no need at all for curtains or shades. (I’m pretty high up off the ground at this point.) 

That privacy meant I could do whatever I wanted with the window, so I pulled out a stained glass piece that had been in storage. Yes, the colors are more muted than most of the apartment, but not only is it a salute to my love of reading, it is also a gift from two very special people, one of whom has gone on home to Heaven. One thing I learned a long time ago is that surrounding yourself with things that have meaning can trump other rules.

Another thing that has meaning is the hummingbird that hangs to the right of the stained glass. This is my salute to both my mother and grandmother, who shared a love for the little flyers. The crystal that hangs to the left in the window was purchased to balance the bird. It’s very pretty and I’m glad I chose the right thing. It’s the 120mm Crystal Prism Suncatcher and it sells for $10; I paid more for the hummingbird at a craft show years ago!

My decorator friend installed the wooden shelf for me specifically for these two pots of hens and chicks, which originated with my grandmother. If you read Sometimes You Just Need a Do Over you have seen the long planter. These little guys aren’t flourishing greatly, like I wish they were, but they are still alive and I’m taking that as a win. 

Both of these planters came from Amazon. The long one is the Kipokalor 11.1×2.36×1.77inch Long Rectangular Modern Minimalist White Ceramic Succulent Planter Pot with Saucer. It’s minimalist, high quality, and exactly what I was looking for.

The small planter is actually from a set I bought in February to give as gifts.

These are a set of 12 Pcs White Bible Verse Succulent Pots with Drainage 3.15 Inch Mini Ceramic Flower Planter Pot with Bamboo Tray. I planted succulents in them and gave them to my ministry team as Valentine’s gifts. They were a huge hit!

The bottom shelf was decorated by my talented friend, who also made the little potted cactus for me. Everything else already belonged to me; she just knew how to put them all together. the stack of books includes some antiques from what was once an impressive collection. The glass paperweight was my mother’s and I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of it. What I really wish you could see better is the peacock stone that sits between the books and plant. It’s bornite and it’s beautiful. Here’s an example I found online.

And that’s the window. We’re almost finished with the Kitchen tour. Thanks for coming along!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

HEROISM AT INNIS SETTLEMENT.

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Courage alone can save us.
                                    Southey

The account of the Indians’ attack on the Innis settlement, near Frankfort, Kentucky, in April, 1792, has been differently related by different writers. The most reliable account is doubtless that given by the Rev. Abraham Cook, a minister of the Baptist denomination and the brother of Jesse and Hosea Cook, whose wives were the heroines of the settlement. The attack was made on the twenty-eighth of the month, by about one hundred Indians, and at three points almost simultaneously. The first onset was upon the Cooks who lived in cabins close together, and where was displayed a degree of intrepidity rarely matched.

“The brothers were near their cabins, one engaged in shearing sheep, the other looking on. The sharp crack of rifles was the first intimation of the proximity of the Indians; and that fire was fatal to the brothers – the elder fell dead, and the younger was mortally wounded, but enabled to reach the cabin. The two Mrs. Cook, with three children – two whites and one black -were instantly collected in the house, and the door, a very strong one, made secure. The Indians, unable to enter, discharged their rifles at the door, but without injury, as the balls did not penetrate through the thick boards of which it was constructed. They then attempted to cut it down with their tomahawks, but with no better success. While these things occurred without, there was deep sorrow, mingled with fearless determination and high resolve within. The younger Cook, mortally wounded, immediately the door was barred, sank down on the floor, and breathed his last; and the two Mrs. Cook were left the sole defenders of the cabin, with the three children. There was a rifle in the house, but no balls could be found. In this extremity, one of the women got hold of a musket ball, and placing it between her teeth, actually bit it into two pieces. With one she instantly loaded the rifle. The Indians, failing in their attempts to cut down the door, had retired a few paces in front, doubtless to consult upon their future operations. One seated himself upon a log, apparently apprehending no danger from within. Observing him, Mrs. Cook took aim from a narrow aperture and fired, when the Indian gave a loud yell, bounded high in the air, and fell dead. This infuriated the savages, who threatened -for they could speak English – to burn the house and all the inmates. Several speedily climbed to the top of the cabin, and kindled a fire on the boards of the roof. The devouring element began to take effect, and with less determined and resolute courage within, the certain destruction of the cabin and the death of the inmates, must have been the consequence. But the self possession and intrepidity of these Spartan females were equal to the occasion. One of them instantly ascended to the loft, and the other handed her water, with which she extinguished the fire. Again and again the roof was fired, and as often extinguished. The water failing, the undaunted wo men called for some eggs, which were broken and the contents thrown upon the fire, for a time holding the flames at bay. Their next resource was the bloody waistcoat of the husband and brother-in-law, who lay dead upon the floor. The blood with which this was profusely saturated, checked the progress of the flames -but, as they appeared speedily to be gathering strength, another, and the last expedient . . . . proved successful. The savage foe yielded, and the fruitful expedients of female courage triumphed. One Indian, in bitter disappointment, fired at his unseen enemy through the boards, but did not injure her, when the whole immediately descended from the roof.

“About the time the attack conmenced, a young man named McAndre, escaped on horseback, in view of the Indians, who, it was supposed, would give the alarm to the older neighboring settlements. As soon as they descended from the house top, a few climbed some contiguous trees, and instituted a sharp look out. While in the trees, one of them fired a second hall into the loft of the cabin, which cut to pieces a bundle of yarn hanging near the head of Mrs Cook, but without doing further injury. Soon after, they threw the body of the dead Indian into the adjacent creek, and precipitately fled.”

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

Tiny House Part 17: Kitchen Counter

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As I’ve mentioned before, at first glance you’d think I have no counter space at all, but if you saw the larger photo of my kitchen area you know the washing machine butts right up against the kitchen counter and it serves me well as extra counter space. So does the dryer, which we’ll get to in another post. So here you go.

Major things first, my sink is huge and I’m so glad. I’d had concerns that I’d be stuck with something small. I should have known better; I’ve said more than once that they tried really hard to make this place as good as they possibly could for me. They weren’t going to let me down and not only gave me a great sink but a fabulous faucet. Second, isn’t this teak countertop amazing? It’s absolutely beautiful and allowed them to bring in a variety of raw woods elsewhere in the kitchen. Seeing them work on all of that was a revelation; wood has gotten so expensive!

They found the countertop at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore and it’s a great example of the bargains you can find there. People assume these stores are filled with things that have been pulled out of demolished houses, and there is that, but there are also pallets of factory overstocks and other brand new items. This particular countertop was long enough that they used part of it here and part to build my microwave shelf, which you’ll see soon, and will still be able to make my sis a beautiful, large cutting board.

So, on the counter, left to right…

Fiberwise, by Melaleuca. Not anything you’re probably interested in, but when you hit menopause fiber becomes especially important as it helps with things like cholesterol. (Remember that TIA I had a while back? Right.)

Now, on the sink? That, my friends, is a stainless steel, Roll Up Dish Drying Rack and it is the bomb. I have it rolled out for the benefit of this picture, but I can roll or fold it up as much or as little as I like, or even roll it and store it. I’ve also discovered that if I fold it up in three layers it will hold my lightweight plate as it dries (otherwise the tall thing flops sideways). If you have a small kitchen, this thing is a great! It’s another of those items that I saw and thought, “Hm…” and have been very glad I purchased.

Two other things about the sink. I don’t use bar soaps much, if at all, but was given some soap samples recently. That little, cream-colored block you see in the sink stopper that sits by the Dawn? It’s one of those samples and I discovered that sink stoppers make great small-soap holders. The blue spray bottle is Dawn Powerwash and I cannot recommend it enough. It’s what I usually use to wash my hands, works great as a clothing pre-treat (especially with oil or grease) and of course is fantastic for dishes. It seems like it would be a waste of money, but I find that a bottle lasts a very long time; you just have to avoid the temptation to spray ridiculous amounts.

Dawn Powerwash Spray Starter Kit, Platinum Dish Soap, Fresh Scent, 1 Starter Kit + 1 Dawn Powerwash Refill, 16 Fl Oz (Pack of 2)

There are only two other things on the counter that I’ll link to. The trivet in the lower right corner of the photo was a gift and I use it constantly since I don’t risk putting anything hot on those wood counters. The plate on the plate rack is primarily decoration since the plate isn’t microwave safe. One day I’ll find a microwave safe plate I actually like and replace it.

The ZeroWater 6-Cup 5-Stage Water Filter Pitcher has been a fixture in my life for years. I don’t like our city water at all, and it’s best to filter minerals out of the water before using an electric kettle, so this stays on the counter permanently. If I drank my water cold, I would of course keep it in the fridge, but I’m one of those strange people who, while I can drink cold water, am just as happy drinking it at room temp.

And last you see one of my HoShip Silicone Spoon Rests. They’re food grade silicone spoon rests that are lovely, dishwasher safe, and store in a very small area. Highly recommended!

I hope you’re having a great day!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

A KENTUCKY AMAZON.

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This is true courage.
                                    Whitehead’s Roman Father.

During the summer of 1787, writes Mr. McClung, in his Sketches of Western Adventure, “The house of Mr. John Merrill, of Nelson county, Kentucky, was attacked by the Indians, and defended with singular address and good fortune. Merrill was alarmed by the barking of a dog about midnight, and upon opening the door in order to ascertain the cause of the disturbance, he received the fire of six or seven Indians, by which one arm and one thigh were broken. He instantly sank upon the floor, and called upon his wife to close the door. This had scarcely been done when it was violently assailed by the tomahawks of the enemy, and a large breach soon effected. Mrs. Merrill, however, being a perfect amazon, both in strength and courage, guarded it with an axe, and successively killed or badly wounded four of the enemy as they attempted to force their way into the cabin.

“The Indians ascended the roof, and attempted to enter by way of the chimney; but here again they were met by the same determined enemy. Mrs. Merrill seized the only feather bed which the cabin afforded, and hastily ripping it open, poured its contents upon the fire. A furious blaze and stifling smoke instantly ascended the chimney, and brought down two of the enemy, who lay for a few moments at the mercy of the lady. Seizing the axe, she quickly dispatched them, and was instantly afterwards summoned to the door, where the only remaining savage now appeared, endeavoring to effect an entrance, while, Mrs. Merrill was engaged at the chimney. He soon received a gash in the cheek, which compelled him, with a loud yell, to relinquish his purpose, and return hastily to Chillicothe, where, from the report of a prisoner, he gave an exaggerated account of the fierceness, strength, and courage of the ‘long knife squaw!'”

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

Tiny House Part 16: Built In

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One of the big things about tiny houses is using every inch of space you can. In this case, because my apartment was going inside an existing metal building (a well insulated metal building), they were able to take advantage of a few deep and wide breaks in the framing to make me some built-ins. This one, as you can see in the photo, is at the end of my long shelf. Yes, the shelf runs right up to it, but I don’t care. Again, space is important!

So, the top shelf is kind of a hiding spot for glass measuring cups and that sort of thing; you can barely see them in the back behind the yellow cup I don’t use much. It is a nice tea cup, but I like the infuser on the blue cup from last week just a little better. The other big thing on that shelf is another of my favorite purchases.

I like toast. I like toaster pastries. I like (ok, love) bagels with cream cheese. So yes, I really like my toaster! It’s the iSiLER 2 Slice Toaster. It has extra wide slots for my bagels, multiple darkness adjustments, a cancel button, and an easy-to-clean tray. It also has a place on bottom to wrap your cord for storage, which is awesome for me since I don’t keep it out all the time. And it’s only 9.5 inches long by 5.3 inches wide by 7 inches tall – so it fits!

The second shelf holds sugar in a Kerr jar, a couple of books and a painted pineapple for decoration, and two glasses I got at the dollar store because they were pretty. “Pretty” is also what prompted me to buy the flatware you see in the glass jars on the bottom shelf, and “pretty” is why they’re displayed the way they are. They’re the Kitiok rainbow flatware set and I did buy them off Amazon. Unfortunately, they’re not available anymore and I’m not going to risk linking to a set I’ve not seen for myself. 

But if you like color like I do, you may want to look around and find a set that’s similar. I’ve had these for quite a while and they still make me smile every time I pull one out.

And then there’s just the crock with the larger utensils I hardly ever use. The odds are good most of them, like so many other unneeded items, will end up walking to my sister’s kitchen. For a while there, she just looked up and laughed every time I stepped in the back door to drop things on her kitchen island that I’d finally admitted I’ll never use (or could borrow them from her if I needed them).

Short and sweet this week!

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

MRS. DAVIESS.

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                        Tis late before
The brave despair.
                                                Thomson

Samuel Daviess was an early settler at a place called Gilmer’s Lick, in Lincoln county, Kentucky. In the month of August, 1782, while a few rods from his house, he was attacked early one morning by an Indian; and attempting to get within doors, he found that his house was already occupied by other Indians. Pursued by his foe, he ran into a cornfield and lay concealed till the savage gave up the chase and returned to the house. He then ran to his brother’s station, five miles off, gave the alarm, and was soon returning with five stout, well armed men.

Meanwhile the Indians -four in number -who had entered the house while the fifth was in pursuit of Mr. Daviess, routed Mrs. Daviess and the children from their beds, and they soon understood that they must take up a line of march – they knew not whither. As soon as she was dressed, Mrs. Daviess “commenced showing the Indians one article of clothing and then another, which pleased them very much; and in that way delayed them at the house nearly two hours. In the mean time, the Indian who had been in pursuit of her husband returned, with his hands stained with poke berries, which he held up, and with some violent gestures and waving of his tomahawk, attempted to induce the belief, that the stain on his hands was the blood of her husband, and that he had killed him. She was enabled at once to discover the deception, and instead of producing any alarm on her part, she was satisfied that her husband had escaped uninjured.

“After the savages had plundered the house of every thing that they could conveniently carry off with them, they started, taking Mrs. Daviess and her children -seven in number- as prisoners, along with them. Some of the children were too young to travel as fast as the Indians wished, and discovering, as she believed, their intention to kill such of them as could not conveniently travel, she made the two oldest boys carry them on their backs. The Indians, in starting from the house, were very careful to leave no signs of the direction they had taken, not even permitting the children to break a twig or weed as they passed along. They had not gone far before an Indian drew his knife and cut off a few inches of Mrs. Daviess’ dress, so that she would not be interrupted in traveling.

“Mrs. Daviess was a woman of cool, deliberate courage, and accustomed to handle the gun, so that she could shoot well, as many of the women were in the habit of doing in those days. She had contemplated, as a last resort, that if not rescued in the course of the day, when night came on and the Indians had fallen asleep, she would deliver herself and children by killing as many of the Indians as she could – thinking that in a night attack as many of them as remained would most probably run off.” *

Mr. Daviess and his comrades reaching the house and finding it empty, hastened on in pursuit of the Indians. They had gone but a few miles before they overtook the retreating party. Two Indian spies in the rear, first discovered the pursuers, and running on, overtook the three others, with the prisoners, and knocked down and scalped, though they did not kill, the oldest boy. At that moment the pursuers fired at the Indians, but missed. The latter were now alarmed and confused, and Mrs. Daviess, taking advantage of this circumstance, jumped into a sink hole with her infant in her arms; and the Indians fleeing, every child was saved.

“Kentucky, in its early days, like most new countries, was occasionally troubled by men of abandoned character, who lived by stealing the property of others, and, after committing their depredations, retired to their hiding places, thereby eluding the operation of the law. One of these marauders, a man of desperate character, who had committed extensive thefts from Mr. Daviess, as well as from his neighbors, was pursued by Daviess and a party whose property he had taken, in order to bring him to justice. While the party were in pursuit, the suspected individual, not knowing any one was pursuing him, came to the house of Daviess, armed with his gun and tomahawk-no person being at home but Mrs. Daviess and her children. After he had stepped into the house, Mrs. Daviess asked him if he would drink something and having set a bottle of whiskey upon the table, requested him to help himself. The fellow, not suspecting any danger, set his gun up by the door, and while drinking, Mrs. Daviess picked up his gun, and placing herself in the door, had the gun cocked and leveled upon him by the time he turned around, and in a peremptory manner ordered him to take a seat, or she would shoot him. Struck with terror and alarm, he asked what he had done. She told him he had stolen her husband’s property and that she intended to take care of him herself. In that condition she held him a prisoner, until the party of men returned and took him into their possession. *

• Collins’s Historical Sketches of Kentucky

” Collins.

______

Excerpted from Noble Deeds of American Women
(Patriotic Series for Boys and Girls)
Edited by J. Clement
——
With an Introduction by Mrs. L. H. Sigourney
Illustrated
BOSTON: Lee and Shepard, Publishers
Entered by Act of Congress, in the year of 1851,
by E. H. Derby and Co., in the Clerk’s Office of the Northern District of New York
______

The Word is Soar

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Photo Credit: Barry Hatch

It is common among Christians to have a word or a verse for the year. I have had either or both many times, but I don’t generally pick them out myself. At least, I can’t remember ever having chosen one. If I have a word for the year, it’s because God says, “It’s _____.” In 2023 the word was FREEDOM, and if you know my story you understand why.

My word for 2024, according to God, is SOAR.

Believe me, had I been doing the choosing I would specifically have NOT chosen this word because of the cliche sound of “Soar in ’24.” I know God, though, and I understand full well that He has a plan in everything he does, a purpose for even the smallest moves He makes. So, I accepted the word as my own and started talking to Him about it.

He will likely reveal more as we move along through the year, but recently He drew me up short with a question. I don’t remember the exact way He phrased it, but His point was that I need to pay attention to what an eagle is doing when it soars. I started really thinking about it, and my jaw dropped open. Seriously, while driving down the road a fly could have flown in before I snapped my mouth shut.

What does an eagle do when it soars?

Not much.

Seriously! Eagles, airplanes, whatever… Getting off the ground takes work. Reaching the right altitude requires energy. But when they get up there? Once an eagle is at the right altitude and in that mode, once they’re soaring, the heavy lifting is done. To oversimplify it, all they need to do at that point is set their wings and ride the wind.

Am I saying God is promising to make 2024 easy for me? Not even. I do believe, however, that He is saying I’ve worked hard in some areas, and in those areas I’m about to hit the right altitude and soar, only having to put out the effort required to stay in the air while I glide and enjoy the view.

I’m seeing hints of such in the stats for this blog. They’re more promising than they have been in years and let me tell you, if you pour yourself into something like this it makes a huge difference when you start seeing certain signs. In this case, I’ve had a definite uptick in search engines bringing new readers my way. If you know you know!

Anyway, that’s my word, and I look forward to learning more about it, about what God intends it to mean for me. I’d love to hear about your word, or verse, or quote, and how you anticipate it affecting your walk in 2024.

In meantime, I’m preparing to set my wings and ride the wind.

Celebrating Jesus!
Tammy C

To Not Try is to Fail

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No, it’s not art. It’s self-care.

I had a follow-up with my primary care this week and was reminded about what he told me several months back: “It’s time to do something just for Tammy.” My mental health was his concern for so many years that, while he loves the changes he sees, he wants me to make a point to keep moving forward.

I’ve been wanting to learn watercolor for a while, so I decided to have that be the Tammy thing; I even bought supplies before Christmas. I’ve mentioned my plan before. I think I’ve also shared that I have an issue; I tend to not try things because I expect myself to do everything right the first time even though I know I won’t.

Yes, that’s ridiculous. I’m being transparent here. Okay? I do understand the saying, “Nothing ventured nothing gained,” and I’m officially working on it this time.

So… today I pulled out the paints and other supplies and decided to just play. What you see above is actually my second play sheet. Here, you can see the first.

Today was all about learning how everything worked – the paper, the brushes, the watercolors, and even the water itself. I gave myself permission to do the ridiculous, to create ugly, to fail. In doing so, I learned a lot, and have a solid plan for the next time I pull out my supplies. knowing what I learned today, next time will be better.

We live in a world that demands the appearance of perfection. Your TikTok must be just right for people to hit the follow button and the algorithm to make you visible. Your Instagram posts show only the best side of life. Your Facebook feed is filled with what appears to be perfect families.

And we know perfect families don’t really exist!

So I’m here to challenge you to rebel. Try something new, and give yourself permission to fail. Not fail permanently of course; that’s no fun. Just allow yourself time to learn without giving in to frustration at your own lack of experience. Don’t stop at the first hurdle; keep running the race.

It can be very relaxing, freeing even, to just sit there, mutter, “What if…?” and then try. It might fascinate you to find out.

If you’ve read about my tiny house life, no. None of this will be going into the frames on my kitchen wall. But some day I’ll share a post with those frames filled. After all, I’ve taken the first step in that direction.

Celebrating Jesus!

Tammy C